There Is No I In Team Funny Quotes

#1. I bleed and breathe Hawks. Even when I played for other teams I felt funny, because I was a Hawk.

Dominique Wilkins

#2. In order for this team to win the game, the quarterback has to throw the ball.

John Madden

#3. It was funny because she thought of herself as a good team player, although sometimes she suspected that no one else on her team did.

Kate Atkinson

#4. Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Rita Rudner

#5. It's funny how the whole team gets quiet when you're about to win a Daytona 500.

Joey Logano

#6. It made me feel almost giddy, like a high-school girl watching the captain of the football team worked up his nerve to ask for a date. You mean me? Little old me? Oh my stars, really? Pardon me while I flutter my eyelashes.

Jeff Lindsay

#7. You know how you just don't like guys on the other team sometimes? It's funny because growing up I loved Roger (Clemens), loved to watch Roger pitch. Then when I was first in the big leagues and he was for the other team, I hated him.

Andy Pettitte

#8. It's funny: when you're skating around during warm-ups, I'll see signs that say things like: 'Kane, Prom?' We have a fun, young team, and girls are asking you to the prom and giving you their numbers.

Patrick Kane

#9. I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.

Steven Wright

#10. Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be awesome. The team from Mexico could wear those Mr. X masks. The French wrestler could hit his opponent with a baguette. Or perhaps just surrender.

Craig Ferguson

#11. We can't play stupid hockey, dumb hockey, greedy hockey, selfish hockey. We have to put the team ahead of our personal feelings.

Terry Crisp

#12. I grew up playing hockey and some football, and I always think about the first time you walk into the locker room on a new team. The cliques are looking at you funny, and you make one friend, but then they're trying to stab you in the back.

Aaron Douglas

#13. Bob Gibson is the luckiest pitcher I ever saw. He always pitches when the other team doesn't score any runs.

Tim McCarver

#14. If you want to work consistently, you have to be a team player.

Russell Malone

#15. And Barry Levinson is insanely funny. I don't know if you know this, not everyone does, but he and Craig T. Nelson were a comedy team back in the coffeehouse days of the late '60s.

Kevin Pollak

#16. I was glad to see Italy win. All the guys on the team were Italians.

Tommy Lasorda

#17. Ayden and I clapped our hands over our ears when the shrieking started.
"Yes. I can see that you're enthused," Jayden tried to speak over the girls' squealing, "but you need - "
Danica snatched the backstage passes from Jayden. "No way!"
"Uh, yes. Way?" Jayden said.

A&E Kirk

#18. Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform.

Jay Leno

#19. A cool hand touched my arm. I jerked back. "Don't! You'll burn!"
"I'm used to it." Ayden's brown eyes twinkled. "In fact, I've been told I'm smokin'." He held out a hand, his voice soft. "By an incredible redhead who I wish, for once, knew she could trust me.

A&E Kirk

#20. I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally.

Rich Donnelly

#21. Germany are a very difficult team to play ... they have eleven internationals out there today.

Steve Lomas

#22. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"

Rita Rudner

#23. Wasn't it thrilling when the U.S. Women's team took home the gold in gymnastics? A group of American teenagers getting a higher score than Chinese kids? That never happens.

Jay Leno

#24. A whoosh and the lines of fire sucked back toward Ayden, flames disappearing into his hands. Back to normal.
"Ayden's the most visually effective," Matthias said.
A burning scent lingered but no damage to the "hottie" in front of me. I know, I know, but I couldn't resist.

A&E Kirk

#25. I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.

Pharrell Williams

#26. After the 1984 Summer Olympics, Reagan wanted to add the U.S. volleyball team to his Cabinet. He figured if they can't shove his programs down Congress' throat, nobody can.

Bob Hope

#27. I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for Team USA to be worn in the opening ceremony were made in China. Turns out they were made by some of the same kids who could beat us in gymnastics. That's the worst part.

Jay Leno

#28. I apologize. Hi, I'm Agent Sloane Brodie, your Team Leader. I enjoy reading, cozy nights in, and the soothing sounds of classic rock. I also like to browse the Internet for funny cat videos, but deep down, I think I'm more of a dog person.

Charlie Cochet

#29. A football team is like a piano. You need eight men to carry it and three who can play the damn thing.

Bill Shankly

#30. And there's a visceral fun in watching Team America and making it, like taking a puppet and throwing it against the wall. Because it's not CG, there's something funny about it.

Matt Stone

#31. The U.S. team has swept all the medals in the skeet shooting event. So despite our bad economy, it's nice to know our country has never been safer from an attack of skeets.

Conan O'Brien

#32. No vampires? You know, the kind that sparkle? I giggle to myself, thinking "Go Team Edward!" - Willow

Mira Monroe

#33. The guys on the stunt team are really fantastic. It's really funny, because for all the aggression they have to display on screen, they're actually really happy, good- natured people.

Miranda Otto

#34. I saw this college team bowling championship. Each team had their own coach. What kind of strategy advice is a bowling coach giving? "You know what? This time Timmy, I want you to knock down all the pins." "You sure?" "Trust me. Just do it son!"

Jim Gaffigan

#35. Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-climbing powers; we get Aquatruck.

Cassandra Clare

#36. Blake hung an arm on my shoulders. "Alone at last."
"I'm right here," Logan said.
"Maybe you shouldn't be.

A&E Kirk

#37. Son of a - Rora?" Blake slid out of the crater he'd just made in the wall. "Crap. What are you doing here?" He saw my wrist. "Handcuffs? I definitely want that story.

A&E Kirk

#38. It was a great Olympics - Team USA finished the games with 17 more medals than China. China said it was tough to swallow - especially when they had to make all of our "We're #1" T-shirts.

Jimmy Fallon

#39. A good team needs three things: the right people, the right spirit, and a couple inside jokes.

VanillaCreamPie8888

#40. I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny.
I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.

Woody Allen

#41. They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that.

Kevin Keegan

#42. Unfortunately for the Culver Creek Nothings, we weren't playing the deaf-and-blind school. We were playing some Christian school from downtown Birmingham, a team stocked with huge, gargantuan apemen with thick beards and a strong distaste for turning the other cheek.

John Green

#43. Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer team, of course, returned home to their houses here in Los Angeles.

Jay Leno

#44. But a funny thing happened four years later. I was invited to play for an alumni team against the Red Wings.

Ted Lindsay

#45. Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team!

Pittacus Lore

#46. Boros is not with the team today because he's attending his daughter's funeral. Oh, wait, it's her wedding.

Jerry Coleman

#47. The special effects team designed everything, which basically allowed me to stand on a green box and look and stay relatively expressionless and all these machines did the acting for me. Just the way I like it (laughs)

Robert Pattinson

#48. The way my team are doing, we could get Wilt Chamberlain in a trade and find out that he's really two midgets Scotch-taped together.

Gene Shue

#49. Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all.

Anne Burack Sayre

#50. the team will say "We can't get anything done in a week." I generally ask them, "Well, can you get anything done in a day, then?" They'll reply that they cannot, and I'll ask them why they plan to come in tomorrow if they aren't going to do anything. Haha, very funny. Except serious.

Anonymous

#51. I'm an off-road racecar driver. And I think every woman in my life has told me that's not a sensible hobby. But when I was growing, even more than I wanted to be funny, I wanted to be a racecar driver. That's all I thought about. I worked for a race team when I was 15 and I traveled with them.

Dax Shepard

#52. Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a guy in a beret. Look at our founding fathers, they all wore berets.

David Letterman

#53. We scored a season-high, yeah - albeit against a team that is somewhat tanking.

Andrew Bogut

#54. When I was a kid I used to hate getting picked for team sports. It would be the fit and sporty guys over there. And me and the fat kids over here. Those kids were fat! One girl had to be cut out a hula hoop.

Alan Carr

#55. You get a promotion?"
"I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. [ ... ]"
"You got off easy. One of my commanding officers once threw a paperweight at me."
"We're a bit more subtle.

Nelson DeMille

#56. Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got scurvy.

Craig Ferguson

#57. Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it.

Grenville Kleiser

#58. All the kids with fancy shoes or clothes, do you know what I got with a family of nine? When ever we said let's play poker, we had a full team of adults right there.

Julia Marriott