Top 100 Shit'll Quotes
#1. Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you.
Johnny Moscato
#2. Hope you don't mind my taste in music. I like a little backbeat when I launch. (Devyn)
Just wait until you're in battle with him. That shit'll make your ears bleed. (Sway)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#3. No more fucking good-byes. I am so done with that shit and with all of us sacrificing our lives. We're fucking done, and we'll all fucking live. The first guy who tells me good-bye ever again, even if he's just going to the fucking grocery store, gets a fist planted in his fucking face.
Rebecca Zanetti
#4. He'll eat you alive, shit you out and then piss on his dump.
John Green
#5. Advertising departments, as you know, are crawling with people whose frontal lobes are so underdeveloped that if you flatter them a bit they'll swear shit is platinum.
Ryu Murakami
#6. Let me grab my toothbrush and toothpaste and I'll go.
Get your eyes off my junk and you'll see that I have your toothbrush and toothpaste in my hand.
Oh shit. She raised her gaze only high enough to see, yes indeed, Chase was holding her oral hygiene supplies.
Lorelei James
#7. In my life, I've learned when to let shit go and when to fight. This, babe, what we got, I'll fight for.
Kristen Ashley
#8. Oh, for heaven's sake, Harper, I didn't just pee on the floor. My water broke.'
'What water?' He blinked, then went pale as a corpse. 'That water. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. Oh, shit. Sit. Sit, or ... I'll get-'
An ambulance. The marines.
'My mother.
Nora Roberts
#9. I've been stuck up shit creek without a means of propulsion too, you'll need to dig deep and be willing to get your hands dirty.
Keith Marshall
#10. The fairy tale of heaven, the promise that whatever shit happens, your story gets a happy ending. The Bible, boiled down: Once upon a time I helped some poor suckers out and someday, maybe, if you're good, I'll help you too,
John Joseph Adams
#11. There'll be a sky full of babies and their shit, suspended overhead. You do not want to get caught in that rain when it falls.
Stephen Baxter
#12. When it's family, Nick, there's a limit to the shit I'll eat. But there is no limit to the love I'll give.
Kristen Ashley
#13. It's all about attitude. You act like you're the shit and guys are so dumb they'll totally believe it.
Jenny Han
#14. I'll tell you what's wrong with dumb-shit patriotism
it's delusional! It signifies nothing but the American need to win
John Irving
#15. Gonna eat you while you talk to him so you'll remember who owns you and make that shit quick so we can get on with our night.
Kristen Ashley
#16. But one thing you do still gotta learn is, when it's family, Nick, there's a limit to the shit I'll eat. But there is no limit to the love I'll
Kristen Ashley
#17. I certainly hope you aren't perfect. Else I'll have to make shit up to punish you.
Joey W. Hill
#18. So, the thing is, my dad, the immigrant, is really, really disappointed that I have an allergy. A peanut allergy. Because immigrants do not believe in allergies. I swear to God, ask any brown person with an accent that you see and they'll tell you that allergies are some New World shit.
Jade Chang
#19. War? War is blood and shit and men maddened with pain calling for their mother as they bleed to death. There's no honour in it, boy." His eyes shifted, meeting Vaelin's. "You'll see it, you poor little bastard. You'll see it all.
Anthony Ryan
#20. Stop making excuses for people treating you like shit. Demand respect and you'll get it.
S. Usher Evans
#21. I don't believe in astronomy. Or is it astrology? I always get those two confused. But I'll tell you, that Copernicus was full of shit.
Jarod Kintz
#22. Savannah, I've been talking my ass off for more than an hour now, telling you shit no one's ever heard anything about, hoping that I'll say something, Jesus God, anything that will convince you to have sex with me.
Suzanne Brockmann
#23. The second time, I had a freakin' vampire at my back." I froze. Oh shit. "No offense, Mr. Moreau," I quickly added.
"None taken, Agent Fraser. During the course of my lengthy life, I have been called many things, but 'freakin' has never been one of them. I'll consider it a novelty.
Lisa Shearin
#24. People want to feel good, be entertained, eat salty shit, and cum twice a week, and provided they do they'll stay quiet.
Rick Remender
#25. Mandy Mitchell's up to her elbows in someone else's shit." Of all the other housekeepers to be assigned to the same floor, she had to get Tori. "As you know, I go by Amanda Lockhart now." "Ah, you'll
Roxanne St. Claire
#26. You remember me, and I'll remember you, and that way we won't be forgotten." "That's shit logic, Vic." "It's perfect.
V.E Schwab
#27. I'll loosen the ropes a bit if you'll be still," Roland told her. "Suck shit out my ass, mahfah!" "I don't understand if that means yes or no.
Stephen King
#28. Shit-damn, fuck-a-damn, fuck-a-damn-damn, some motherfucker just fucked my man, I'll fuck another fucker better than the other fucker, shit-damn, fuck-a-damn, fuck-a-damn!
Amy Jo Cousins
#29. You know what I think? I think you should stop all this nonesense and screw the shit out of him until he passes out from exhaustion ... you'll have to feed him, of course, to keep his energy level up, but make sure you hide his clothes so he can't get dressed. Men can't run when they're naked.
Tina Reber
#30. fear is a liar. Don't let it whisper in your ear. Turn that shit off. Do what scares you. Over and over again. And one day, your fear will become so small, you'll be able to laugh at it." "Big
Leylah Attar
#31. I'd hoped to make our first time special or some such shit." I moaned as he thrust his hips into mine, his hard cock pressing against my clit in the most delicious way. "As long as we end up with your dick inside me, that'll be special enough.
Ellis Leigh
#32. I hold him as close as I dare. Even if my entire life goes to shit before breakfast tomorrow, I'll always have this night.
Sarina Bowen
#33. Your past is your past. Why the fuck are you trying to drag it across the finish line with you? Cut that shit off. You'll be a hell of a lot lighter. Freer too.
S.E. Jakes
#34. And if that's all he's looking for then we'll set fire to his balls."
"What?" Storm's face twists in a mixture of shock and amusement.
I shrug. "What can I say, Storm? I'm into some weird shit.
K.A. Tucker
#35. You are a symbol - even if I am missed, so long as people can see you in the air, they'll feel safe." Because everyone knows I would not leave my consort in a city I didn't feel was protected against all harm. "Shit," Elena muttered. "I hate it when you make sense.
Nalini Singh
#36. The next few hours were, well, how to describe it? Ask someone to lock you in a box with no light, nobody to talk to, and then have them beat on it with a tree limb to make a hideous sound. Do that for hours, and if you're still not bat-shit crazy, you'll know how we felt.
Mike Mullin
#37. You said I have magical powers, so what's the big deal? I'll voodoo some shit up, bring out my spidey-senses, and bam." ~ Nexi
Stacey Kennedy
#38. Bren can handle it," she said finally. "And if he can't, he'll let you know. He won't let his ego choke the shit out of him.
Kit Rocha
#39. Bitch, I'm here to tell you that it's going to be all right. We'll get through this shit, motherfucker, just you wait.
David Sedaris
#40. Our next fighter doesn't need an introduction, but because he scares the shit outta me, I'll give him one, anyway! Shake in your boots, boys, and drop your panties, ladies! I give you: Travis 'Mad Dog' Maddox!
Jamie McGuire
#41. We had this talk," she said. "You may be dead sexy, and I mean, like, really dead and really sexy, but you don't get to tell me what to do. Right? And no head-shrinker stuff, either, or I swear to God, I'll pack my shit and move!
Rachel Caine
#42. If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary, somewhere between 'shit' and 'syphilis'.
Etienne
#43. Whoa, who was that?"
"Madison Stone," Kiara mutters.
"Introduce me to her."
"Why?"
Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you.
Simone Elkeles
#44. Milo was concerned for Vilenthe she had a point the words repeated in her mind what makes you think she gives a shit you?Just think about that for a second before you do anything you'll regret.
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
#45. If I die because of you, I'll beat the shit out of you in hell." She
Sarah J. Maas
#46. You'll stop if I don't like it?" My heart squeezes. "Of course." I lean over him and plant a reassuring kiss on his lips, then wink at him. "Just say ballsack if you want me to stop." A wave of laughter shudders through him. "Oh shit. I totally forgot about that.
Sarina Bowen
#47. Are you looking for sympathy? You'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis
Thomas Harris
#48. You are four years old. You have to shit in the toilet. This is not one of those negotiations where we'll go back and forth and find a middle ground. This ends with you shitting in a toilet.
Justin Halpern
#49. There's no perfect place, you know. You always end up trading one kind of shit for another. Me, I'll stick with the shit I know.
Marko Kloos
#50. They'll be fine," Wickersham said. "Practice makes perfect."
I had to ask. "You practice running away?"
"We knew we'd make enemies. Other organizations have fire drills; we have oh-shit-someone-found-our-ass drills.
Scott Westerfeld
#51. Anyone who says they know what I'll do next is full of shit 'cause even I don't know what I'll do next.
James Patterson
#52. Fuck if I know but I know for damn sure I'm not leaving her alone with your father, I'll probably come back to find my kids on Ebay or some shit.
Jordan Silver
#53. When life hands you lemons, eat and shit them out, Lemons are a natural diuretic. Shit on everyone around you. You'll feel better.
Anthony Paull
#54. Free will? Either you follow the word of God, or you'll be punished with eternal hellfire. That's the same kind of "choice" an abuse boyfriend gives you: 'Either you do exactly what I say, or I'll beat the shit out of you.
Oliver Gaspirtz
#55. I don't care. I'm just gonna smoke. I'm just gonna totally smoke. I'll finish these, go to the store and get a brand new pack, smoke the shit out of that one.
Johnny Depp
#56. Gotta have my make up, in case I run into Joey and he wants to beat the shit out of me. Gotta look my best! Maybe he'll punch me repeatedly in the kidneys and the stomach so it doesn't mark up my face. He's so thoughtful!
George Carlin
#57. If people treat you like shit, you treat them like shit right back. They won't like it, but they'll respect it. It's a lonely road. Although, truth be told, I enjoyed being alone. Life was much clearer.
Tijan
#58. Shit. Next I'll hold her hand and start talking about butterflies and rainbows. Fuck me.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#59. As a good rule of thumb, you want to secure 3-months of living expenses on the side, just in case shit hits the fan. Ideally, you'll want a 6-month rainy-day fund because it never hurts to fall back on much more.
Jay Breezy
#60. What are you looking at?"
"I was thinking about becoming a lady of the night."
"What?"
"There's actually an ad looking for one. Can you believe it? It pays a grand a week."
"Shit, for a grand a week, "I'll become a lady of the night.
L.A. Fiore
#61. Bleed him and I'll skewer you like a stuck pig," I said through clenched teeth.
"No, you will try. You'll wave your sword around and talk a lot of shit and then back off at the last minute. And then I'll snap your neck and his.
Ilona Andrews
#62. Fucking hell. Shit sounds like I'm writing for ladies who lunch on Fifth Avenue. Unending vortex of ugly? Holy sensationalism, Batman! Who the fuck am I writing for? I could move in closer, get to the real Singer, but I'll just fail like every other journalist
Marlon James
#63. Future Farmers of America. Group who take ag classes and are going to inherit the farm. Hot shit around here, they have a couple guys in every clique, and they stick together, 'cause they know they'll be seeing each other every week for the next sixty years.
John Barnes
#64. Anyway, my ribs hurt like hell, my vision is still blurry from acceleration sickness, I'm really hungry, it'll be another 211 days before I'm back on Earth, and, apparently, I smell like a skunk took a shit on some sweat socks. This is the happiest day of my life.
Andy Weir
#65. Caroline, I love the shit out of you. So calm down and just tell me what you need. No more holding back. And then I'll tell you what I need, and we'll figure out how to work it out.
Alice Clayton
#66. I don't believe this. This is utter shit!" I yelled.
"Does it look like I'm lying?" Steven asked.
I rolled my eyes at his incredibly stupid question, "I don't know. Let me look at you with my x-ray vision to see through this stupid blindfold and I'll get back to you.
Sara Massa
#67. Of course, it took a while to learn all this. Anytime I messed up, my boss would let me know. Right away he'd cuss me out, tell me I was a worthless piece of shit. But I never got pissed at David. In my mind, I thought, I'm better than that and I'll show you. As it happens, that's exactly the
Chris Kyle
#68. We'll do the sensual shit another time,
C.D. Reiss
#69. Fill me in on the details of your life."
"I thought you didn't give a shit."
"It'll give me something to do while I wait for you to stab me to death.
Christina Dodd
#70. This whole situation is like a great big zit that needs popping," she continued. "The damage is already done - your face looks like shit and no concealer's gonna cover it. You might as well squeeze hard and get your money shot. You'll both feel better afterward.
Joanna Wylde
#71. You should be beaten for that. (Valerius)
Try beating me, you sorry piece of shit, and I'll force-feed you that black heart of yours. (Zarek)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#72. You could have just said Ngozi is your tribal name and Ifemelu is your jungle name and throw in one more as your spiritual name. They'll believe all kinds of shit about Africa.
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
#73. That dog'll roll in the snow, run in the snow, eat the damn snow, but he wont throught it to shit. I dont clear the path, he shits right by the door. Why is that?
Ryder asked.
Owen replied, "Hence the name."
The name of Ryder's dog ... Dumbass ...
Nora Roberts
#74. That's even worse. They'll steal it. Then they'll say they didn't steal it, they confiscated it. I know you Feds, you're always confiscating shit.
Neal Stephenson
#75. Another coupon tacked onto the pile I'll redeem when I get some power in my fucken life. Look around this life and all you see is folks' coupons tacked everywhere, what they'll do if, what they'll do when. Warm anticipation for shit that ain't even going to happen.
D.B.C. Pierre
#76. There's shit that's random and shit you can control. It's up to you to choose what you'll react to and how to make your mark. What do you choose to control?
Cat Porter
#77. As human beings we govern our actions with our deepest fears. But if you name that shit, you claim that shit: let enough people into your closet and you'll find there's no more room for skeletons. Leave yourself nowhere to hide and you can live your life unguarded.
Kevin Smith
#78. Lord help us all. They'll dub this one the shit war, Betsy said.
Carolyn Brown
#79. Her quasi-smile blossoms. "I shouldn't be scared," she says, and it sounds like something between a statement and a question.
"You should be terrified," I say. Because I'm going to show you dance moves that'll have you begging for my shit.
Victoria Scott
#80. ME: Thanks ((hugs)) LIAM: You got my full support, babe, but I draw the line at texting hugs. It's a guy thing. I start doing that shit, the other guys'll confiscate my dick. Can't risk it
Joanna Wylde
#81. They won't really shoot us, will they?" Faith whispered as they started forward.
"I'll pretend I'm in labor if they do any funny stuff," Angelina said in a low voice. "Pregnant women always scare the shit out of men.
Maya Banks
#82. Find some people you give a shit about. Who care about you. Who are smarter than you are. Find a woman. Who laughs at you. Who'll kick your ass out of the house. You find that woman and she's the same woman who'll throw herself in front of a truck for you? Well, then you're somewhere.
Alexander Maksik
#83. You want to know what I'm wearing?"
"Not unless you think it'll really get me excited."
"I'm afraid clothes have to have women in them for you to get excited."
"Maybe you could talk in a high voice."
"Cut through the shit, Hap.
Joe R. Lansdale
#84. Buddy, that's life. You always work to balance the scales. You don't wanna owe someone something, even it it's only in your head that you owe 'em and they don't give a shit. It'll fuck with you. So you give back to balance the scales.
Kristen Ashley
#85. I understand fine," Kevin said bitterly. "I just think it's fucked. God is either powerless, or stupid or he doesn't give a shit. Or all three. He's evil, dumb and weak. I think I'll start my own Exegesis.
Philip K. Dick
#86. No, I need to feed her." She rubs her breasts and winces a little. "They hurt because I didn't give her enough time when we were on the road. I need to nurse or they'll start leaking." Holy fucking shit. I just got insta-hard. "Leaking?
J.A. Huss
#87. Shit, there goes our chance at winning." Pey laughed. "A cocky quarterback that's in love with himself. We'll be lucky if you don't stop every two seconds to check yourself out.
Priya Kanaparti
#88. Dying is one of the few experiences we'll eventually all enjoy firsthand, and like most shit that's commonplace, it's boring to dwell on.
Brian K. Vaughan
#89. He can't hear what I'm saying right now, so I'll make this opportunity to tell you Ridge is full of shit. He doesn't want to wait anymore. He wants you to say the word more than he wants air. So please, for the sake of all that is holy, say the word tonight.
Colleen Hoover
#90. I'll be good. If I don't, you have my permission to bend me over your knee and spank the shit out of me."
Oh Jesus Christ ... seriously? That's worse that her innocent "best friend" kiss to my cheek.
J.A. Redmerski
#91. You're a good kid, darlin'. A good, sweet kid. Promise me you'll stay that way, yeah? No matter what you see, no matter what sort of fucked up shit happens to you. Don't let this life turn you bitter.
- Deuce to Eva (Undeniable)
Madeline Sheehan
#92. I could mentally lift the vision wholesale and stick it into the already overflowing "crazy shit I'll deal with later" box in my brain.
Kelley Armstrong
#93. I don't make shit, I make masterpieces," she replied, pretending to take offence from Charlie's words. "And just for that, I'll take a BBQ sauce base with tuna, anchovies and pineapple please.
Beth Ashworth
#94. I promise not to hurt you, unless you try to take my shit. Then I'll twist your head off and hide it in a bush somewhere.
Cedric Nye
#95. Vadier (on Danton): "We'll clean up the rest of them, and leave that great stuffed turbot till the end."
Danton (on Vadier): "Vadier? I'll eat his brains and use his skull to shit in.
Hilary Mantel
#96. You can overthrow a king maybe, but not a god. I've been chosen by the fucking divine for this shit. Nobody can out rock me. Except maybe Naomi, but I'll never admit that.
C.M. Stunich
#97. I'll take you hard, and soft, and every way in between." He grips my face in his hands and looks down at me, his nose touching mine. "I'm going to fuck the shit out of you."
Oh God, yes!
"And I'm going to make love to you until you're shaking and don't remember who you are.
Kristen Proby
#99. I clamp down on those memories. I embrace fresher torments. But my shrink warned me about this, how anger and depression get misassigned, and how if I don't work through shit it'll keep resurfacing in ways I don't expect.
Hugh Howey
#100. The day I need a friend like you, I'll just have myself a little squat and shit one out.
J.A. Huss
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
