Top 100 Sayings About A Grandma
#1. I used to get a lot of people saying 'Oh, you are such a lucky granny.' But the fact of the matter is you can be a grandma at 35 these days.
Jo Brand
#2. I would love to do top of pops as a grandma.
Tina Charles
#3. I kiss grandmas because they're clean. I haven't picked anything up from a grandma yet.
Don Ho
#4. I'm kind of a grandma, so I like cooking for my boyfriend and watching a movie. I cook a lot, actually. I'll make bacon-wrapped asparagus, steak, and pesto pasta with chicken ... but we go out to dinner a fair amount, too.
Gigi Hadid
#5. I was just thinking about me having children. Or being a grandma!" She giggled. "Think I'll be fat and have gray hair?"
"I sure hope so," her father said, laughing himself.
Sharon M. Draper
#6. A grandma is old on the outside and young on the inside.
John Wright
#7. If you need a reference point, she was created in a grandma lab somewhere by crossing the DNA of Mary Poppins, Jack Black, Julia Child and Desmond Tutu.
Scott Dannemiller
#8. I have a glam-baby. Let's be correct, now. I'm way too young and too fabulous to be a grandma. I'm a glam-mom.
NeNe Leakes
#9. I never really know the protocol for this kind of situation. It's like when you're in line at a store, and a grandma starts telling you all about her grandchildren or her arthritis, and you smile and nod along. But then it's your turn to check out, so you're just like okay, well, good-bye forever.
Becky Albertalli
#10. That's what it is to be a grandma. All fun and no stress.
Marie Osmond
#11. As a mama and a grandma, I appreciate, understand and absolutely believe in the sanctity of life. But I recognize that there are those tough situations where heartbreaking decisions have to be made.
Carole Keeton
#12. Yeah, well this Gypsy girl happens to have a grandma that can curse you so bad that your dick will turn black and fall off, so watch your step, Spartan.
Jennifer Estep
#13. I would have wanted my mom to see me settle down and to be a grandma to my kids.
Stephen Dorff
#14. Love doesn't come with any random man coming in your apartment. It comes with the right person at the right time."
"Geez. You sound like a grandma. What are you going to say next? True love waits?
Shyrill Silversong
#15. I'm not a big fan of the tchotchkes. It always reminds me of a grandma's stuffy home with a million Santa dolls.
Jeremiah Brent
#17. A grandma's name is little less in love than is the doting title of a mother.
William Shakespeare
#18. I'm glad we're sitting here now. Even if it does smell like a grandma convention.
Leanne Hall
#19. One day I'll be a grandma who's been gangbanged.
Asa Akira
#20. I wish it were different, but my body clock wakes me up between 6:30 and 7:30 a.m. If I want to get enough sleep, I have to be in bed at 10. That means I'm totally a grandma.
Agyness Deyn
#21. I'm such a grandma. I don't tweet; I don't have a Facebook page.
Kathryn Hahn
#22. So, if you have a grandma, thank the good Lord above, and give your grandmamma hugs and kisses, for grandmothers are to love.
Lois Wyse
#23. I'm a nice middle-class girl in real life, and I'm a mom and a grandma, and I usually play sweet characters.
Jacki Weaver
#24. He burst into the house and ate Grandma, an entirely valid course of action for a carnivore such as himself.
James Finn Garner
#25. People get burned out in big families, you can even see it in the naming of children. Like the first kid, "You were named after Grandma." The seventh kid, "You were named after a sandwich I had. Now get your brother, Reuben."
Jim Gaffigan
#26. Damn, I thought everyone carried a gun in New Jersey!!!
Janet Evanovich
#27. A Seth Thomas steeple clock stood on a high shelf. When it struck ten, Grandma jerked awake. She looked around the room astonished. It was her belief that she never slept, not even in bed.
Richard Peck
#28. A primitive artist is an amateur whose work sells.
Grandma Moses
#29. My last girlfriend was a Showgirl - But we eventually broke up because she wouldn't Tell me anything. Now I'm dating a girl who looks exactly like my grandma, only my girl older.
-James Lee Schmidt and Jarod Kintz
James Lee Schmidt
#30. Well, we're originally from Glace Bay."
Grandma Elsie's eyes glittered. She was looking at one of her own, a lost Cape Bretoner in need of help and offering a new story. "Tell me all about it, dear.
Beatrice Rose Roberts
#31. I'm often a crier and many things make me cry. I come from a crying family - my mother cries, my grandma used to cry. It was never shameful to cry. My father never told me men don't cry.
Michael Silverblatt
#32. So if you serve a whole chicken to your family like grandma did, you may be serving them 10 times as much fat than the days of yesteryear. That's a whole lotta fat, and big trouble for the waistline.
Kathy Freston
#33. They drive back home to grab his backpack and as he bends and kisses his grandma Agnes, she scrunches a one-hundred-dollar bill in his hand. "Buy yourself some chocolates, Tom."
It's what she'd say to him as a kid with a twenty cent coin.
Melina Marchetta
#34. This was something Grandma Tilly couldn't understand
how war promises a boy it can make a man out of him.
Richard Peck
#35. I got a great grandma. Her name is Pearl, and she was at one time married to an Indian chief, who, in a wonderful crossing of cultures, she integrated some of his, and some of hers, and um,
it was a combination of peyote and preserves, and it was this hallucinogenic jam.
Eddie Vedder
#36. Grandma married him because he was the first man she'd ever met who wasn't affected by her telepathy. This is the sort of thing that Internet dating sites never have a field for.
Seanan McGuire
#37. The comma, if it's left out, sometimes can be a problem. There's a slogan on a T-shirt going around that "Let's Eat, Grandma," and "Let's Eat Grandma."
Mary Norris
#38. My grandma would quote Abraham Lincoln all the time: "Whatever you do in life, be a good one."
Donald Cerrone
#39. I remember once asking Grandma about a book she was reading, a biography of Abraham Lincoln, and how she answered me: this was the first conversation of my life that concerned a book, and 'the life of the mind' - and now, such subjects have become my life.
Joyce Carol Oates
#40. I invited Onyx to be my plus one. Of course she was all in when I added that Grandma A had a massive swimming pool and was within a short driving distance to a two-story bookstore.
K.R. Grace
#41. My great grandma, she's in her 80s, so she tells me a lot about the things she's seen. I learn a lot from her.
Akeem Ayers
#42. Red?" I asked.
"I've decided I'm going to call you Red from now on."
"All right, I'll bite - no pun intended. Why?"
He snickered in a very masculine way and lowered his voice. "'Cause I like the idea of the big bad wolf visiting you and Grandma.
Linda Robertson
#43. I love leather and it's great to be a bad girl at times. But there is a time and place for everything. When I'm with Grandma it's flowers, and when I'm out on the town scoping guys, you know ...
Eliza Dushku
#44. A few years back, when my style was 'punk grandma,' I picked up an amazing pair of sandals - orthopaedic ones, with really thick soles. I've given them away to a friend now, because these days my look is more '1980s substitute teacher gone wild.'
Beth Ditto
#45. We live in Houston, Texas!" Grandma wiped her hands with a rag. "You'd get heat stroke.
Ilona Andrews
#46. I have written my life in small sketches, a little today, a little yesterday ... I look back on my life as a good day's work, it was done and I feel satisfied with it. I made the best out of what life offered.
Grandma Moses
#47. GRANDMA: Are you a gay?
ORPHEUS: I am straight. I'm definitely dating a girl, gran. Do you think she's a man?
*She laughs*
ORPHEUS' BRAIN: Thank god she took it as a joke. I would have been executed on the town square for such a rude back answer.
Scarlett Brukett
#48. My grandpa and grandma aren't like me. They're more like sheets drying outside on a breezy day
they change directions without any fuss. But me, if I was a sheet and the wind blew me, I'd never stop flapping.
Blue Balliett
#49. ...Now did you ever hear of a young feller's having such hard luck, Mrs. Burden?"
Grandma told him she was sure the Lord had remembered these things to his credit, and had helped him out of many a scrape when he didn't realize that he was being protected by Providence.
Willa Cather
#50. Did you know that darkness has a taste, Grandma?
Jo Nesbo
#51. You'll see a movie about someone you hate or someone you love. Will you see a movie about grandma making apple pies? No, you won't. Only if grandma has poisoned the neighbor or is suspected of poisoning the neighbor through her apple pies.
John McAfee
#52. Grandma, I think you might be a little freaky.
Siera London
#53. Grandmas can shed the yoke of responsibility, relax and enjoy their grandchildren in a way that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they can glow in the realisation that here is their seed of life that will harvest generations to come.
Erma Bombeck
#54. A strange thing is memory, and hope; one looks backward, and the other forward; one is of today, the other of tomorrow. Memory is history recorded in our brain, memory is a painter, it paints pictures of the past and of the day.
Grandma Moses
#55. My grandma and my mom are not happy about the fact that I am still a bachelor. It's not on my mind that I have to find the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. It will happen the way it's going to happen.
Maksim Chmerkovskiy
#56. I miss my parents. But still, my granddaughter, my daughter, my grandma, you know, so it's very important for me. You lost your parents, but a new baby comes. It's like the cycle of fashion.
Carine Roitfeld
#57. I would never sit back in a rocking chair, waiting for someone to help me.
Grandma Moses
#58. I look out the window sometimes to seek the color of the shadows and the different greens in the trees, but when I get ready to paint I just close my eyes and imagine a scene.
Grandma Moses
#59. If Grandma Goldman ever smiled, she must have done it in the bathroom with the door locked. She had been the undisputed head of her own family, ruling with an iron hand and a mouth full of rocks.
Edith Konecky
#60. My mom was a folk singer and Celtic harpist. My dad was in a barbershop quartet and my great grandma was an opera singer. As I grew up, I discovered pop music and Top 40 radio, but it was in the '90s, so music was very different then - it was really lyrical.
Skylar Grey
#61. Does he try to have intercourse with you?"
"Grandma!" I gasp. "Not that it's any of your business, but no!"
"Good. Remember, no ring, no ring-a-ding-ding. Because once you spread your legs for him, do you know where he'll race once he's done? He'll race to another woman, that's where.
Daria Snadowsky
#62. Pay attention. Driving is a privilege." "Whateves, Grandma M.
A.G. Howard
#63. They say that Grandma Moses had several canvases going at the same time. Maybe it was a way for her to catch up with the time she missed while raising children and tending the farm. Like Grandma, I tend to have more than one poem or fiction going at a time. For me, it's just the way I think.
Marge Simon
#64. Tell me my little children, what crime has this lizard committed that it must die this evening?" There was silence. In raising my head like a joke, I tried to laugh. That was the same time I realized that grandma was dead serious with us.Pg.26
Obehi Peter Ewanfoh
#65. I don't advise any one to take it [painting] up as a business proposition, unless they really have talent ... But I will say that I have did remarkable for one of my years, and experience.
Grandma Moses
#66. Aren't you something," Grandma said. "I never saw a midget up close."
"Little person," Briggs said. "And I never saw anyone as old as you up close, either.
Janet Evanovich
#67. My grandma loved to be on stage entertaining people. She loves to make people smile and laugh. She loves to brighten other people's day. She often calls perfect strangers her angel, as a way of witnessing, but also to encourage and build their self-esteem.
Lisa Bedrick
#68. I got stopped in front of the bras in Victoria's Secret; I get interrogated in airport bathrooms. I went to South Africa in January to see my family, and even there people would stop me and ask, "Sasha, who's A?" Even my grandma.
Sasha Pieterse
#69. I am really fortunate to have parents who supported my plan to become an actress when I was a little kid. And then there was my grandma. She was the best. She was always there and ready to drive me to all my plays and stuff.
Keiko Agena
#70. Grandma pulled a .44 magnum out of her purse. Everybody duck, and I'll shoot out his tires.
Janet Evanovich
#71. To Grandma,
for being my first editor and giving me the best writing advice I've ever received: Christopher, I think you should wait until you're done with elementary school before worrying about being a failed writer.
Chris Colfer
#72. When I wrapped 'Falling Skies,' I took a trip to the Caribbean to visit my grandma, which is great. I was out there for two weeks in Grenada. Then after that, I went to Poland for two and a half weeks to go watch some of the European soccer championships.
Brandon Jay McLaren
#73. If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is no fun for old people like it!
Hannah Whitall Smith
#74. I don't want you to write about what you know, because you don't know anything. I don't want to hear about your boyfriend or your grandma ... I'm getting a little tired of 'my life story as fiction'. Please don't tell me about your little life - is there nothing larger? More important?
Toni Morrison
#75. Chocolate. The food of the gods, as my grandma used to call it. And I totally agree. It's the answer to prayers. Emotional relief. A form of currency. An aphrodisiac. Raw and dark. White and saccharine. Milky sweet. Mouthwatering. It's all good; I don't discriminate.
K.K. Allen
#76. Memory is a painter. Paintin's not important. The important thing is keepin' busy.
Grandma Moses
#77. I'm not certain, but I have a little gypsy blood in me. And my mother always told me that her grandma could give someone the evil eye, and I'd better not cross her because she had some of that blood in her. Mother always believed that she could predict the future, and she had dreams that came true.
Sam Raimi
#78. Love should feel like a hand sewn quilt made by grandma, wrapping you up on a cold winter morning.
Carroll Bryant
#79. I think the sea's just rain and salt."
"Ever taste a tear?" asks Grandma.
"Yeah."
"Well, that's the same as the sea."
I still don't want to walk in it if it's tears.
Emma Donoghue
#80. My grandma has never been impressed with the TV show [Desperate Housewives]. She was so angry because I was on television kissing a boy naked; she's very traditional. She said: "If I ever see you kissing that boy again ... ".
Eva Longoria
#81. I don't think grandma's a very good influence on us.
Richard Peck
#82. When Grandma read me:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall ...
I never
knew
that
Humpty's
fall
was
something
that
someday
comes
to
us
all.
Lee Bennett Hopkins
#83. Grandma Singer was a fearsome creature. If we ever did have a war under my rule, my plan was to send her to the front lines. She'd come home holding the enemy by his ear within a week.
Kiera Cass
#84. The Dominican Republic says 'We're black behind the ears.' And in Mexico, 'there's a black grandma in the closet.' They know, they've just been intermarrying for a long time. But if we did the DNA of everyone in Mexico a whole lot of people would have a whole lot of black in them.
Henry Louis Gates
#85. And if we folks have a motto, it's this: 'Don't holler - smile and bide your time.' We've survived a passel of things that way, smiling and biding our time, and we've gotten to be experts at surviving.
Margaret Mitchell
#86. Grandma, he had often wanted to say, Is this where the world began? For surely it had begun in no other than a place like this. The kitchen, without doubt, was the center of creation, all things revolved about it; it was the pediment that sustained the temple.
Ray Bradbury
#87. My mom has a tape from when I was, like, 2 years old, talking with my grandma, telling her a story that's really elaborate about werewolves and wolves.
Amanda Hocking
#88. Grandma cheated whenever she could. She cheated because it was a much more scientific and surer way of winning than trusting to luck.
Allan Sherman
#89. In a town in Calabria, a long time ago, there lived an old lady everyone called Strega Nona, which meant "Grandma Witch".
Tomie DePaola
#90. Now I feel bad I didn't give her the second quarter. Grandma says that's called having a conscience.
Emma Donoghue
#91. For many children, it's seeing a beloved relative ill and in pain that leads them to want to become doctors. But, for me, it was watching my grandma get better.
Michael Greger
#93. Looked around for Grandma, spotting her and Dougie hiding behind a car on the opposite side of the street. They were wearing Super Suits and they had bath towels pinned around their necks like capes.
Janet Evanovich
#94. Did you see how she got all hot under the collar?" Grandma Frida said in a theatrical whisper behind me. She's not over him.
"I can hear you!
Ilona Andrews
#95. Losing Grandma, just when I'd found her again. A waterfall of flowers brightened her funeral, but they couldn't disguise the stench of death.
Ellen Hopkins
#96. Grandma frowned and yelled something in Russian. She could have been saying, 'Open up, your best friend is here.' On the other hand, it could have been, 'America is a great country because of canned ravioli.
Laurie Halse Anderson
#97. Grandma Natasha was sitting in the tent watching public service announcements on TV. They were showing a blond model in a bikini doing the backstroke in a river of blood flowing along Arlozorov Street. "She's not a real blonde," Grandma Natasha grumbled, pointing at the model. "She has it bleached.
Etgar Keret
#98. A new day always forgives you, unless it's raining and you wake up in jail.
Bob Thurber
#99. Where's Hauk?"
"I'm right here."
"Not you, Fain. My wingman."
"He's in the hallway. You know how he is about explosives."
"Yeah, I do, which is why I asked. Send him on a bullshit and long errand across the station. We don't want Grandma freaking out on us."
-Darling & Fain
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#100. You might be a redneck if you have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
Jeff Foxworthy
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