Top 100 Quotes About Grandma
#1. Our kids need us to be the dad, not a fun single uncle. When you can replace your 007 poster with a framed portrait of Grandma, your kids will experience an underlying sense of being at home when they are with you - whether for a weekend, a summer, or full-time.
Tez Brooks
#2. Even if her children or grandchildren are willing to spend their own money to keep grandma alive, when bureaucrats control the necessary technology or medication they may decide that it is not for sale.
Thomas Sowell
#3. [Stephanie Plum]Jeez. No True Love
[Grandma Mazur] There's always been true love, but in my day, you either talked yourself into thinking you had it, or you talked yourself into thinking you didn't need it.
Janet Evanovich
#4. Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Cam started a fire at work. And she got an erection!
Kelly Moran
#5. Melissa looked at her. "It's a meeting with a killer, Grandma," she said. "You don't have to worry about manners." "You
E.J. Copperman
#6. My grandmother, in her retirement home, actually has a picture of me from 'Star' magazine on their fashion police list. I think that's hilarious, but if Grandma approves, then I feel like I am all good.
Brad Goreski
#7. Thank God it's not, or your father would never have been conceived." "Ew! Grandma, ew! Don't say things like that! How can you say things like that with your face? Your actual grandma face? You're supposed to be all innocent and baking cookies and forgetting that sex was ever a part of your life.
Seanan McGuire
#8. I'm not a big fan of the tchotchkes. It always reminds me of a grandma's stuffy home with a million Santa dolls.
Jeremiah Brent
#9. Grandma Mary would say, "That's why so many young women are marrying so many older men, because there aren't any more being raised. She would rather be an older man's sweetheart than a young man's fool and slave.
Lyanta' J. Tomlin
#10. Well that's disappointing," Grandma Mazur said. "I expected something better from her.
Janet Evanovich
#11. I always wanted to eat with a Negro," Grandma said.
Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman," Lula said. "So I guess this works out good.
Janet Evanovich
#12. The next day I picked up my electric guitar and amp at a tag sale. Grandma Dotty loves tag sales, and somehow she managed to bargain with the guy who was selling them, until we paid just three dollars
James Patterson
#13. Grandma loved helping people, especially if it was against their will. "Let's
Chris Colfer
#14. I like the smell of my Grandma's soap - I used to sit in the bath and eat it.
Carl Barat
#15. My family always says my voice is a gift - a precious jewel I inherited from my maternal grandma, Julia Kate Hudson. My sister and I used to joke that the 'Kates' in our family got all the talent.
Jennifer Hudson
#16. Usually I wear my grandma's old aprons, or others I have collected in my travels. When I was young, I would sit and watch my grandma prepare stuff. She wasn't Italian, but she did really good Italian food.
Debi Mazar
#17. Grandma's Advice on Picnics
Not every day is going to be a picnic,
because there are ants everywhere you go ~
and a few of them are even insects.
Beryl Dov
#18. My grandma always said bad things don't last forever.
Lamar Odom
#19. My grandma actually put me in girdles when I was around nine or ten because I had hips even then, and she didn't want boys to be attracted to me. Having hips meant you were a full-grown woman, and I was too young for that.
Coco Austin
#20. escape. Please hold my hand. My gret grandma seys that if you die holding the hand of the one ya love, you'll
Rowan Wisce
#21. If we got caught being in grandma's smaller room without her or without another adult being there, we were surely in for a good old-fashioned ass whipping, Kunta Kinte style. Grandma Bertha didn't play that shit.
Amina
#22. Helped Grandma off and removed her helmet. She stepped away from the bike and straightened her clothes. "I can see why people like these Harleys," she said. "They really wake you up down there, don't they?
Janet Evanovich
#23. Soon I will be an old, white-haired lady, into whose lap someone places a baby, saying, "Smile, Grandma!" - I, who myself so recently was photographed on my grandmother's lap.
Liv Ullmann
#24. Love doesn't come with any random man coming in your apartment. It comes with the right person at the right time."
"Geez. You sound like a grandma. What are you going to say next? True love waits?
Shyrill Silversong
#25. In swimming, everyone calls me grandma, because I'm the oldest there. Then with my friends, I'm the youngest and I'm the baby. It's definitely bizarre.
Amanda Beard
#27. My favourite place to eat is my grandma's kitchen. She makes a mean crab cake.
Karlie Kloss
#28. I'll say she's brave," Grandma chimes in. "She's going to England day after tomorrow to hump some guy she barely knows.
Meg Cabot
#29. My grandma used to plant tomato seedlings in tin cans from tomato sauce & puree & crushed tomatoes she got from the Italian restaurant by her house, but she always soaked the labels off first. I don't want them to be anxious about the future, she said. It's not healthy.
Brian Andreas
#30. Netscape brought the Internet alive with the browser. They made the Internet so that Grandma could use it, and her grandchildren could use it. The second thing that Netscape did was commercialize a set of open transmission protocols so that no company could own the Net.
Thomas Friedman
#31. I would have wanted my mom to see me settle down and to be a grandma to my kids.
Stephen Dorff
#32. Mahad had done wrong, but I had been unforgivably trusting, which meant I was fatally dense. I had failed to be suspicious. I deserved my grandma's scorn. I was not allowed to talk back to Grandma, and Ma said nothing to defend me. I could only sob, and seethe.
Ayaan Hirsi Ali
#33. Help out her grandma and also learn to be social with something other than her laptop and vibrator while she was at it.
Jill Shalvis
#34. Little Willie, full of glee,
Put radium in grandma's tea.
Now he thinks it quite a lark
To see her shining in the dark.
Harry Graham
#35. Yeah, well this Gypsy girl happens to have a grandma that can curse you so bad that your dick will turn black and fall off, so watch your step, Spartan.
Jennifer Estep
#36. I'd always ask my grandma, who was so, so smart, why she didn't work, and she would explain that her parents didn't approve of her working after she had children. She didn't feel like she had choices.
Reese Witherspoon
#37. Well, that's not something you see every day. Go tell your father that Grandma needs the grenades.
Seanan McGuire
#38. As a mama and a grandma, I appreciate, understand and absolutely believe in the sanctity of life. But I recognize that there are those tough situations where heartbreaking decisions have to be made.
Carole Keeton
#39. And so they discussed it seriously, Abbie who knew that one may laugh with a child but at him, and Laura, who knew that Grandma was one unfailing source of sympathy and understanding in a world which was beginning to be critical.
Bess Streeter Aldrich
#40. If you were watching CNN, they were saying the NSA is listening to your phone calls. It's reading your emails. When you call your grandma in Arkansas, the NSA knows. All total bulls - t. They made the public more concerned about the privacy issue than the legitimate facts should have done.
Michael Morell
#41. I loved that phrase: soul mate. We asked Grandma what it meant and she said, 'Two people who understand each other without talking about it. Two halves of a whole.
Elizabeth Wein
#42. Grandma laughed. "You'd be surprised. It's awfully hard to dislike someone when you really pray for them. In fact the person you pray for could turn out to be one of your best friends.
Arleta Richardson
#43. I had just settled Grandma on her folding chair and popped open our box lunch when the corpse floated by.
Thomas McGuane
#44. Sleep is the true rehearsal for death, Soobin thought with a sigh. That's why grandma had more dreams of the future the older she got, for death is the future of all things, coming back towards us like a feedback loop.
Giacomo Lee
#45. My parents were out of town and sent me to stay at my grandma's house. That's where I learned how to make pancakes. I served them to all the old ladies who lived on her block. After the meal, they each left a $5 bill next to their plates. I thought, 'Hey, I'm onto something here.'
Bill Rancic
#46. My grandma Ruthie, Jettie's sister, had been married four times, so many times I started calling every old man I saw at the grocery store Grandpa.
Molly Harper
#47. Grandma Hutto's flower garden was a bright patchwork quilt thrown down inside the pickets.
Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
#49. Brenna Kelly, meet Alice Price-Healy. Grandma, meet Breanna. No one is shooting, stabbing or immolating anyone in this hotel room."
"Please," added Dominic. "I have to sleep here."
"HAIL!" Rejoiced the mice. "HAIL THE LACK OF STABBING, SHOOTING AND FLAME!
Seanan McGuire
#50. His grandma burst into his mum's hospital room ahead of him with a terrible question on her face. But there was a nurse inside who answered immediately. "It's okay," she said. "You're in time.
Patrick Ness
#51. Never trust an ugly woman. She's got a grudge against the world,' said Grandma who was no oil painting herself.
Richard Peck
#52. Grandma shrugged. "Framed. A man that pretty can't be a murderer." Mother stared at her. "Penelope, I'm seventy-two years old. You let me enjoy my fantasy.
Ilona Andrews
#54. My grandma said - when I was really young and I'd sing along to the radio - why do you sing in an American accent? I guess it was because a lot of the music I was listening to had American vocalists.
Emma Watson
#55. Diesel was smiling at Grandma. "You blew through almost two hundred thousand and you were playing dollar slots? That's impressive." "Especially since some of that time I was winning," Grandma said. "Twelve dollars?" "Yep. I was on a roll.
Janet Evanovich
#56. Don't get me wrong - I've gone to a club. But I'd much rather be with my close friends at home or a concert, or on a trip. I'll go dancing with my grandma. She likes to cut a rug!
Zac Efron
#57. My dad was an actor and a writer; my mum was a drama teacher. My grandma was an actress. My aunt is an actress. My granddad was a cameraman. They would've been surprised if I wanted to be a dentist or something like that.
Charlie Rowe
#58. My grandma used to say that people born on the same day are two halves of the same soul
Leylah Attar
#59. Some moments can only be cured with a big squishy grandma hug.
Daniel Pearce
#60. You can't do anything for a person who is stuck between being happy and being miserable. All you can do is get trapped in the middle, and anyone in the middle just gets squished.' -Grandma
Jack Gantos
#61. Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever.
His grandma- You did have to inherit your looks from someone.
Jen Turano
#62. I like all the families in the U.K. But what I like about the idea of the royal family is ... they seem like they're well educated and there's something admirable about them. And the Queen ... she reminds me of my grandma.
Will.i.am
#63. May your dreams be sweet and your nightmares be spooky-monster-scary and not grandma-died-scary.
Donald Glover
#64. Remember that the old lady who's taking forever in line is someone's grandma
Eric Stonestreet
#65. Ma'am, what does Justin Timberlake have to do with anything?" "Justin Timberlake is the answer to everything," Grandma said solemnly. "How do you figure?" After a long pause she answered, "Because he brought sexy back." "I'm sorry I didn't take a sick day today.
Rachel Van Dyken
#66. The oracle had a prophecy upon your birth, that one would bring the true death to all of us and the other would be our savior."
"Oh geez," I muttered. "Grandma Piperi strikes again.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#67. I was watching television and I saw how you stick your fingers in a person's eyes to slow them down.
Grandma Mazur
Janet Evanovich
#68. The one thing I could do with my eyes closed is my Grandma's schnecken.
Tom Douglas
#69. I went home and tried to sleep, but couldn't, so I stared up at the moon, watching how it's trailing edge faded into darkness, so close to being full, but not quite there. A pregnant moon, Grandma called it. Full almost to bursting, and ready to give birth to something unthinkable.
Neal Shusterman
#70. There was a group of six women in my household. My mom, aunts and grandma. I watched them in the kitchen.
George Tillman Jr.
#71. I heard some famous people had an anniversary, five long years together, it was Hollywood history. Now my grandma and grandpa never made no printed page, but they took the love of 57 years right to the grave.
Clay Walker
#72. Maryse had spoken to her son's partner with affection she had never shown before, and now she wanted to hold the baby. Maryse was experiencing full-on grandma fever. The Lightwoods thought he and Alec were keeping the baby.
Cassandra Clare
#73. He emptied all his handheld video games and Josh's remote control cars, and called his grandma to tell her that all he wanted for his birthday in November was AA batteries.
Rainbow Rowell
#74. How do I know Michael hasn't met some other girl?
Some Floridian girl, with long,sun-streaked hair, and a tan,and breasts? Who has access to the Internet and isn't cooped up in a palace with her crazy grandma,a homeless,Speedo-wearing prince and a freakish,hairless miniature poodle?
Meg Cabot
#75. Grandma Redbird: Honey, you have to move past this.
Zoey: How Grandma?
Grandma Redbird: By living the life she'd be proud of you for living.
Kristin Cast
#76. I never really know the protocol for this kind of situation. It's like when you're in line at a store, and a grandma starts telling you all about her grandchildren or her arthritis, and you smile and nod along. But then it's your turn to check out, so you're just like okay, well, good-bye forever.
Becky Albertalli
#77. The term "global audience" is misleading and meaningless, but I'm proud to say that I do indeed have a global audience. At least while my grandma's vacationing in Ireland, my grandpa's in Germany, and my parents are visiting Australia.
Jarod Kintz
#78. My grandma forbid us from describing ourselves as poor. She said, 'we're broke.' Because broke is temporary.
Deval Patrick
#79. The bear would have to be stopped," Grandma agreed. "Stan is just making the distinction that you wouldn't blame the bear the same way you would blame a responsible person.
Brandon Mull
#80. Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?
Janet Evanovich
#81. You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!
Janet Evanovich
#82. Every time I see a cardinal, I know my grandmother is with me. This regal, red bird was Grandma's favorite.
Kris Carr
#83. I'll meet you there, pumpkin," Grandma said. "And I'll bring my sword with me.
Jennifer Estep
#84. My maternal grandma was a tough, tough lady and a stern woman, who lost her husband young and raised six kids by herself. She lived in a mining community in Upstate New York and ran a boarding house for miners. She took care of an entire family and miners who lived in the house as well.
Steve Carell
#85. My grandma leaned out the backseat window, pointing at the cops. "Just so you know, I had no part in this! Ask anyone. They'll all tell you: I hate crime."
"Well, we won't mention to them how you 'forgot' to pay for those slippers at Wal-Mart, now, will we?" my mom hissed.
Emily Cassel
#86. A grandparent is old on the outside but young on the inside. If your baby is "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma.
Teresa Bloomingdale
#87. Grandma always has an opinion, especially about other people.
Renata Suerth
#88. An old western standoff had nothing on the looks that my mom and grandma were exchanging. A tumbleweed could have rolled through the kitchen and neither would have noticed.
Lani Woodland
#89. That man is such a damn turd monkey."
"Grandma!" I said.
"Oh, Zoeybird, did I call your mother's husband a damn turd monkey out loud?"
"Yes, Grandma, you did."
She looked at me, her dark eyes sparkling. "Good.
Kristin Cast
#90. I WON'T get upset!" Cliff shouted. "I want! to SEE! MOMMY KILL GRANDMA!
Tui T. Sutherland
#91. If sisters were free to express how they really feel, parents would hear this: "Give me all the attention and all the toys and send Rebecca to live with Grandma."
Linda Sunshine
#92. If Charlton Heston can have a constitutional right carry a rifle, why can't grandma have a constitutional right to health care?
Al Sharpton
#93. Does my grandma count as a bodyguard?
Holly Hood
#94. That's what it is to be a grandma. All fun and no stress.
Marie Osmond
#95. Grandma; it was to grandma I truly wanted to have returned, but she was no more. I could only remember the day she died. The tears mother shed on me, as if I was going to face a more difficult world than any other member of our family. Pg.100
Obehi Peter Ewanfoh
#96. Grandma, everyone out here is bleaching their anuses. What do I do?"
Her advice? "Baby, go outside in the sun and squirt a little lemon juice on it.
Mollie Gross
#97. My grandma loves beauty pageants, like most of Latin American culture, but it's not for me.
Stephanie Sigman
#98. You know how when people lose their grandma or grandpa, people they say they're sorry? They do mean it, but ... there's nothing to say. There's a void that cannot be filled.
Amaury Nolasco
#99. If a kid calls his grandma "Mommy" and his mama "Pam", he's going to jail!
Chris Rock
#100. She planned to make a roast beef, a pile of mashed potatoes, corn- then mounted it into a bowl and drown it in gravy. Some people ate ice cream or pie when depressed; she went for the warm comfort food she learned to make in her grandma's kitchen.
Amy E. Reichert
