Top 100 Quotes About Undead
#1. Get you dead ass out of the sarcophagus and follow along," Tern muttered. "And no yelling for guards, and no continuing forward when we stop and then stomping all over us and crushing our spines and skulls under your undead feet because we didn't explicitly tell you not to do that.
Patrick Weekes
#2. Every day was filled with surprises. What a change from the network affiliate. Her new boss was an undead automaton from hell, true, but no job was perfect.
Daniel Suarez
#3. Susan, you were a mighty fine woman when you were alive and all, but personally I'd rather be gang-raped by giant, rabid, syphilitic porcupines, than join your shithead, hippie-commune, undead family, you scrawny-ass, vampire skank whore.
Larry Correia
#4. I'll shower, then we can go. I smell like a zombie."
Hell, if the undead looked like that, bring on the zombie apocalypse.
Brynn Kelly
#5. Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! ... Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
Bill Watterson
#6. I don't know, maybe imminent peril made him feel more alive somehow, for the same reason zombies are carnivores with only one item on the menu. You never heard of undead vegetarians. Where's the challenge in attacking a plate of asparagus?
Rick Yancey
#7. If 180 million people want to be undead, that's their funeral, but I happen to like being alive.
E. E. Cummings
#8. Tod laughed. He was always able to find the humour in even the creepiest situations. I'd thought that it was an undead thing, until I became a member of the undead. Then I realized it was a Tod-thing.
Rachel Vincent
#9. Let's say that it belong to me as much as it belongs to anyone alive today. If I am, strictly speaking, living. The old word was undead, you know, but aren't all living things undead. I dislike imprecision.
Rachel Caine
#10. It hadn't escaped my attention that I preferred to spend time with the undead rather than the living. I tried not to think about what that said about me.
Amy Plum
#11. The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges.
"What are you doing?" Ghastek asked.
"My hole puncher broke."
"You have no respect for the undead.
Ilona Andrews
#12. I was hoping the people of the world might be united by something more interesting, like drugs or an unarmed struggle against the undead.
David Sedaris
#13. You married a borderline psychotic who conquered the brutal circumstances he grew up in by being even more brutal. Add turning into a vampire and centuries of undead power struggles, and you have the crazy cruel bastard you fell in love with.
Jeaniene Frost
#14. When we touched ... it all clicked into place. He was my soul mate; I could feel it when he was near. Our bodies together made sense; our lives on a whole had new meaning. We were no longer condemned to walk alone like the undead.
K.I. Lynn
#15. And I am not one of these long-living fictional characters who prays for death as a release from the captivity of eternal life; not for me the endless whining and wailing of the undead.
John Boyne
#16. We can go without dancing and things a little longer."
"Especially since our Great Slipper Scandal quickened the undead and nearly destroyed the palace," said Bramble. "It put us off dancing for at least an hour.
Heather Dixon
#17. When you encounter unpleasantness from the human population, try to keep in mind that you will be able to dance on their graves long after they're dead. It's a cheering thought. - from The Guide for the Newly Undead.
Molly Harper
#18. WARNING: This novel deals with undead and crazy murderous cannibalistic people. There are no depictions of ponies gaily prancing across pastures as cute bunnies nibble on carrots contained herein. BUT there are numerous depictions of violence, murder, blood, mayhem, and yes, even gore.
William Bebb
#19. If someone had asked who could stage the best intervention with a crazy woman who had formerly been an undead monster, Sydney Sage would have been my last guess.
Richelle Mead
#20. The truth hit him. Jason wasn't quite Roman anymore. His time at Camp Half-Blood had changed him. Reyna had recognized that. Apparently, so did the undead legionnaires. If Jason no longer gave off the right sort of vibe, or aura of a Roman leader ...
Rick Riordan
#21. Van Helsing more than sensed the coming alive of the undead creature trapped inside the icy coffin. He saw it now. Seeping from a bad seal between compartments, a wisp of fucking smoke.
Robert W. Walker
#22. Some of the vamps formed into smaller groups, to chat or plot or whatever vamps did at undead nonfunerals. Oddly, they talked about the stock market and the latest flare-up in the Middle East, like any well-educated group of humans. It was almost as disorienting as hearing them quote Jesus. Then,
Faith Hunter
#23. Hey, show up with an army of undead warriors to save the day, and suddenly you're everybody's best friend.
Rick Riordan
#24. Both the zombie mafia and the rebel zombie alliance could suck my white trash undead ass.
Diana Rowland
#25. Take off your undead blinders and open your dismembered arms to progress. Fast zombies are scarier, plain and simple!
Greg McCabe
#26. It had been a couple of years and I was neither dead, nor undead, which I ranked as an achievement.
Mark Henwick
#27. Mom. I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that undead are just like you and me ... well, okay. Possibly more like me than you.
Cassandra Clare
#28. The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, If you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you're probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire.
Molly Harper
#29. Zombies have no memories of their former life. You wont see the undead trying to wash windows or do your taxes. All they know how to do is swarm and feed.
Max Brooks
#30. Nina looked up, her eyes fixing on mine with such ferocity I could almost see the undead vampire in them.
"There is something under here," she said, and I shivered.
"Yeah, we know, dirt nap," Jenks said.
"Rachel already told us.
Kim Harrison
#31. Most people around here prefer undead drivers, so I never get a chance to make any money on steady contracts.
T.K. Naliaka
#32. The Drake farmhouse was like the chimpanzee enclosure at the zoo when feeding time was late.
You know, if all the chimpanzees were undead.
And insane.
Alyxandra Harvey
#33. Derek favored his left side. His horse refused to bear him. I couldn't blame the horse. I wouldn't want his demonic, undead-blood-smeared, wolf-smelling ass riding me, either. But it made us slow.
Ilona Andrews
#34. You ate my dog, you undead freak!"
Hey! Watch the slander. I hear the acceptable term is 'corporeally
challenged' now. No need to be rude.
Adam P. Knave
#35. She thought I could find a way to save her soul when she died and became an undead. Right now, I was just looking to find the rent money. I'd get to my roommate's soul later.
Kim Harrison
#37. If you want to go foraging into the wilds of Canada without proper gear, you deserve what you get, even if that happens to include being attacked by an undead moose.
Mira Grant
#38. I, Anita Blake, scourge of the undead-the human with more vampire kills than any other vampire executioner in the country-was dating a vampire. It was poetically ironic.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#39. Science, the agent that once promised to eradicate the supernatural, had, through the nuclear threat, resurrected it. Magic was not exactly alive, but it was surely undead.
Jim Trombetta
#40. Not all librarians are evil cultists. Some librarians are instead vengeful undead who want to suck your soul.
Brandon Sanderson
#42. May I guess this has something to do with the particularly hot undead guy you suck face with on a regular basis?
Amy Plum
#43. IMO, the only zombie antho that comes close to BOOK OF THE DEAD would be THE UNDEAD 2: SKIN & BONES.
Jan Berenstain
#44. No, death hadn't changed [Willie] much. But just in case, I avoided looking directly into his eyes. It was standard policy for dealing with vampires. He was a slime bucket, but now he was an undead slime bucket.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#45. I like not being dead. Anything beyond that is just icing on the cake.My undead cake of livingness.
Jhonen Vasquez
#46. I've been with Mr. Locke for several hundred years now." He tossed her a wink. "I should hope in that time he would share with me his undead state. Had he not, I would have been rather perplexed as I celebrated 100 years of age and still looked 45.
Jennifer Turner
#47. Her new boss was an undead automaton from hell, true. But, no job is perfect.
Daniel Suarez
#48. I see that you are working this vampire angle with some success. And kudos. Lots of girls love that sensitive-undead thing. But I'd drop the whole musician angle if I were you. Vampire rock stars are played out, and besides, you can't possible be very good.
Cassandra Clare
#49. Being the evil undead wasn't fun anymore. For one thing, it was increasingly hard to get a library card.
Sharon Ashwood
#50. Join us next time for Days of the Undead when Rachel learns her long lost brother is really a crown prince from outer space.
Kim Harrison
#51. A word of advice, if I may? Explosions are an excellent way to kill the undead. But you should probably take a few steps back first, kid.
Heather Brewer
#52. It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really.
Ilona Andrews
#53. Of course, I didn't know how I felt about my first kiss coming from one of the undead, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, and let me tell you something, Jesse was way cuter than any live guy I'd met lately.
Meg Cabot
#54. Do you really have the ability to control all types of undead?" Magnus asked.
"Can you really make a hundred shoes in a single night?" I asked.
Magnus smiled. "Wrong kind of fairie.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#55. She snuggled back under the blanket with me, turned toward me so that she could rest her head on my chest. "I hear your heart," she said.
"Do you check every once in a while, just to make sure I'm not undead?
Richelle Mead
#56. Biers was where the undead drank. And when Igor the barman was asked for a Bloody Mary, he didn't mix a metaphor.
Terry Pratchett
#57. With so much protection, wouldn't one be able to wander among the undead ranks, taunting them at will with no danger of repercussion?
Max Brooks
#58. Mimicque - zombies - can only be killed with an iron or obsidian blade, so don't think you can just act like the wrestler El Santo in the 1970s film El Santo Versus the Mummies of Guanajuato. If a walking undead is after you, run. Let the experts take care of the zombies.
David Bowles
#59. Any woman who was breathing noticed Jacob Decker. Hell, it was possible he could walk through a graveyard and his very presence would call up the dead females as zombies rabid to get just an undead glimpse of him, he was that noticeable of a male.
Kristen Ashley
#60. Before I left the castle I so fixed its entrances that never more can the Count enter there Undead.
Bram Stoker
#61. in many ways the UnDead are strong. He have always
Bram Stoker
#62. There are certain words that should never be spoken, names that should never be used. Old things. Undead things.
Michael Scott
#63. It had occurred to him that if the undead don't realize that they are dead, he might easily be one of them himself.
Dan Chaon
#64. When you're undead, the emphasis is on the second syllable.
Peter Watts
#65. (after Quigley deduces Duane is undead, and says he must not be a legitimate human.)
Duane: "Legitimate?!" Plat, shall I legitimately drop you from another cliff?!
Ashley Cope
#66. It seems," the undead Tiste Edur said, "my Hounds have found new . . . pets."
"Saw his head off, Cotillion," Shadowthrone said. "I hate him already.
Steven Erikson
#67. Good King Wenceslas tastes great; We might as well eat Stephen, When the brains lay round about, Toasted crisp and bleedin'. Brightly shown the moon that night, Though the virus cruel. When a poor man came in sight, He made fine undead fuel.
Michael P. Spradlin
#68. The ethics of eating people are blurry at best in the fog of my undead amnesia, but I expect more for such a high price. What I want are the moments I will never have. The warm ones. The living ones.
Isaac Marion
#69. I never imagined being undead would be so much work," Jeff lamented.
"Being a 'vampire' takes no work at all," Timothy emphasized vampire. "It's surviving that takes all the work.
Ben Tousey
#70. I've got a chainsaw with my name on it in my workshop," Milo told us happily. "If I'm ever killed by undead, I want you guys to chop me up with it. It's a good chainsaw."
"I reckon it is, Milo. I would be honored to chop your head off," Sam said.
Larry Correia
#71. The truth is: nobody bothers to kill poets in America. It's enough to buy them in universities. Undead.
Erica Jong
#72. I know she's new here. If not, she's made some drastic, unfortunate transformation over the summer, because I'm more than aware of most of the people on this campus, and even if I wasn't, I'd remember the girl who comes to school looking like an undead whore.
Katja Millay
#73. Spartacus," I called, "how's it hanging?" Probably not too well. Once you're dead, had your organs removed, and are resurrected as an undead mummified cat, your testicles probably looked like old raisins that had rolled under the couch. Raisins didn't tend to ... hang.
Rob Thurman
#74. We're not a people worth saving, plain and simple. We're completely beyond that - both the undead and the few still living. Yeah, 'living.' Some life, huh? But it's the only life we could ever possibly live if we want to stay alive another day. It's our life that terrifies me.
Bryant A. Loney
#75. You waltz with vampires and parade about town with undead monsters, and yet you are afraid of me, Duchess?
Robin Bridges
#76. As I made my way through 'On Line,' the austere, stridently dogmatic, sometimes revelatory exhibition 'about line' at MoMA, I found myself thinking, 'Someone please wake me when the seventies are over!' In the empire of curators, the sun never sets on the seventies. It is the undead decade.
Jerry Saltz
#77. Often, a school is your best bet-perhaps not for education but certainly for protection from an undead attack.
Max Brooks
#78. Y'know, if I was a sexy type of undead, like a vampire or something, I'm sure I'd have some kind of supernatural power to bring any guy I liked under my charismatic control.
Best I can hope for is to decompose over someone's shoes. How romantic.
Justin MacCormack
#79. He was like an undead boomerang. A zomberang.
Devon Monk
#80. It suddenly occurred to me just how absurd this scene was: a guy wearing a suit of armor, standing next to an undead king, both hunched over the controls of a classic arcade game.
Ernest Cline
#81. I grew up hearing about the walking undead. I had a fascination with it as a child.
Katherine Helmond
#82. The Coven of the Articulate - A modern slang term popular among the Undead for the vampires whose stories appear in the Vampire Chronicles - particularly Louis, Lestat, Pandora, Marius, and Armand.
Anne Rice
#83. Hollywood is the only place on earth that has more vampires, more undead, more resurrections than a month of Easter Sundays.
Roseanne Barr
#84. Since this was a formal undead gathering, there would be food - all kinds - drinks, dancing, and festivities, while those in power pondered whether or not to slaughter half the people around them. In other words, like a high-school prom.
Jeaniene Frost
#85. Once someone's dead you can't make them undead.
Tim O'Brien
#86. As Rick walks out of his house, you see his mailbox crammed full of mail. You got to hand it to mail carriers. Neither rain, nor snow, nor roaming undead, will keep them from their appointed rounds.
A. Ron Hubbard
#87. First I tried some Neil Diamond, thinking that if anything was going to make the undead run for the hills it would be a nice, loud rendition of Cracklin' Rosie. But those coldsickles actually seemed to enjoy it. Very disturbing.
Mike Cooley
#88. Everyone else sees a legion of undead clowns worshipping a giant chicken, right?" Moon asks. "Yes." "Yeah." Hara nods. Moon is visibly relieved. "Okay, good.
Matt Wallace
#89. It's one thing to be an undead fiend of darkness, but it takes an immense amount of work to look cool while doing it.
Garon Whited
#90. Europe is so much the home of Horror, with its myths of vampires, werewolves, witchcraft and the undead, yet it's like those myths were exported to Hollywood, leaving Europe the room to develop a new tradition as a way of processing its traumas, particularly the two world wars.
Mark Gatiss
#91. Who the hell would attack the Steel Horse anyway? What was the thinking behind that? Here is a bar full of psychotic killers who grow giant claws and people who pilot the undead for a living. I think I'll go wreck the place.
Ilona Andrews
#92. But it is attitude, not years, that condemns one to the ranks of the Undead, or else proffers salvation. In the domain of the young there dwells many an Undead soul. They rush about so, their inner putrefaction is concealed for a few decades, that is all.
David Mitchell
#95. I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass.
Richelle Mead
#96. Mindless violence against the undead?" said Zzzap. "Count me in.
Peter Clines
#97. Definitely an undead, but not as undead as a vampire. Perhaps she was just mostly undead.
Ilona Andrews
#98. Integration my undead ass. Did they teach you about the Great American Melting Pot in grade school?" she asked. "Some of us don't like the idea of being melted down and blended into stew for the rest of you to devour.
Jim C. Hines
#99. I am a big fan of vampires. I've always been obsessed with the genre, and the beautiful romanticism and erotic kind of nature of the immortal being, the undead who lives on human blood.
Alex O'Loughlin
#100. Only you would reduce centuries of the mythical undead to 'fangy. ' " (Quinn to Lucy)
Alyxandra Harvey
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