Top 100 Quotes About Pants
#1. What's with the beard and the horse mane? You look like Rent-a-Villain."
The volhv's eyes widened. He raised his hand at me. "Well you don't look ... female ... in your pants."
"That's a hell of an insult. Did you think of it all by yourself or did you ask your god for help?
Ilona Andrews
#2. They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'
Eddie Izzard
#3. Do not fear facing people without your pants; the world is dirtier than your underwear.
M.F. Moonzajer
#4. Vickery, a slim fellow in his early fifties, had already sweated through his uniform. His shirt clung to his chest, and his pants puckered out in back where an ass should have been.
Gillian Flynn
#5. As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
Josh Billings
#6. Just because it's summertime doesn't mean you can't wear long pants and blazers - just make sure they're breathable.
Brad Goreski
#7. I used to always pull my jersey out of my pants. Earl Tatum was like that, too. I was just more comfortable. There were no rules then. They didn't make you tuck your jerseys in and it was just comfortable for me.
Bo Ellis
#8. That's a wonderful side effect of leather pants: when you pee yourself in them, they're more forgiving than jeans.
Slash
#9. Grandma was wearing a blond Marilyn Monroe wig, a hot pink tank top, black Pilates pants, and black kitten heels. She looked like the senior version of an inflatable sex toy doll that needed more air.
Janet Evanovich
#10. Most decisions are seat-of-the-pants judgments. You can create a rationale for anything. In the end, most decisions are based on intuition and faith.
Nathan Myhrvold
#11. A dark-haired little boy just in pants stood bewildered near the blaze, saying, as if there had been some mistake, We live here. We live here.
Christopher Buehlman
#12. In the past, like for the last Rilo Kiley record, 'Under the Blacklight,' I wore exclusively hot pants because the themes in that record were the underbelly of Los Angeles.
Jenny Lewis
#13. When I started skiing my pants were baggy and my cheeks were tight
Now my cheeks are baggy and my pants are tight.
Warren Miller
#14. You used to be able to tell the difference between hipsters and homeless people. Now, it's between hipsters and retards. I mean, either that guy in the corner in orange safety pants holding a protest sign and wearing a top hat is mentally disabled or he is the coolest fucking guy you will ever know.
Chuck Klosterman
#15. I'm a doctor," she reminded him. "Nothing embarrasses me."
"Yeah? So if I call the hospital while you're making rounds, you won't be embarrassed when I have the operator page Dr. Smarty-pants?
Julie Garwood
#17. And someone who is perpetually accidentally hot-gluing herself to the carpet, and who is sort of mentally unstable, but in an "At-least-I-still-remember-how-pants-work" kind of way (cough ... that'd be me).
Jenny Lawson
#18. Being sixteen in the pants I died full of questions
Anne Sexton
#19. The way to write a book is the application of the seat of one's pants to the seat of one's chair
J.B. Priestley
#20. Don't look like a fool with your pants on the ground!
Larry Platt
#22. You can scream you're Indian, you can disavow your religion, you can even be the next incarnation of Krishna for all your Hindu countrymen will care. Their HRM will pull down your pants and check your foreskin and slaughter you just the same.
Manil Suri
#23. Jace shrugged and looked at the floor. He wanted to leave. He couldn't do this with her mother in the house, especially not after the woman had told him to keep his dick in his pants. The sole reason he was here was to put his dick in her daughter. Repeatedly and in excess.
Olivia Cunning
#24. Do me a favor. Go to the mirror, look at yourself, and then tell me if I should value your opinions. Your pants are still open by the way.
Kenya Wright
#25. I love red. Red pants. Red suit. Red coat. Red anything.
Brad Goreski
#26. Jassie, guess what I'm dancing in!'
'I don't know, a bowl?'
'Non ... I am dancing in my Nuddy-pants!
Louise Rennison
#27. Okay, who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?
James Potter
#29. Obama said they've had some glitches with the Affordable Care website. I'll tell you something. If you order a pair of pants online and they send you the wrong color, that's a glitch. This is like a Carnival cruise, for God's sake!
David Letterman
#30. Kincaid rounded the far corner. He was dressed in his customary black clothing again, fatigue pants, and a hunting jacket over body armor, and he had enough guns strapped to his body to outfit a terrorist cell, or a Texan nuclear family.
Jim Butcher
#31. We don't need to take off our pants and stand naked in the snow to experience the harshness of life; a clever person even can feel it with a bottle of wine.
M.F. Moonzajer
#32. I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!
Mike Birbiglia
#33. It's not about what you did yesterday, it's what you do tomorrow. If you rely too much on yesterday, tomorrow is going to jump up and bite you in the pants.
John Vanbiesbrouck
#34. If you go to a party populated by the NPR crowd and you start talking about JonBenet Ramsey, people will look at you as if you had forgotten your pants.
Bill James
#35. Three things it would be extremely difficult to play a show without: makeup, my vocal cords and pants.
Andy Biersack
#36. Oh, the joys of baseball, manly men in tight pants.
Carolyn Hart
#37. But you men ... you're all alike. Alive, dead, undead - all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?
Jeaniene Frost
#38. While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.
Chris Hardwick
#40. Politics is everywhere. It's in your shirt, it's in your pants. It's everywhere.
Rahul Gandhi
#41. A person who publishes a book willfully appears before the populace with his pants down. If it is a good book nothing can hurt him. If it is a bad book nothing can help him.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
#42. That in spite of living in a mansion an American is not above wearing a pair of secondhand pants, bought for fifty cents.
Jhumpa Lahiri
#43. Well, I think that the image is a part of me. I wear the baggy pants, the hats, the whole nine. And you know, I may add a little for the excitement and the intrigue in the videos, but my family has told me that little air of mystery that surrounds me is for real.
Aaliyah
#44. Grace Jones was an influence, because I was like, 'These shoulders! These pants! Girls can wear pants and be awesome.' That's something I definitely embody.
Lorde
#45. The only change I can really see is that I don't have to shop for pants in stores anymore.
Larry David
#46. Men strolled through life with a wallet in their pants, and women were saddled with children, the map, the bag, the half-empty water bottles. Resentment
Janice Y.K. Lee
#47. I went and met with Tim Burton for the role of Batman. But I just couldn't really take it seriously; any man who wears his underpants outside his pants just cannot be taken seriously.
Pierce Brosnan
#48. Hollywood gives a young girl the aura of one giant, self-contained orgy farm, its inhabitants dedicated to crawling into every pair of pants they can find.
Veronica Lake
#49. Magic Success Formula for Writing: Apply the seat of your pants to the seat of your chair and write!
Pam Zollman
#50. You've got the fountain of youth hidden in your pants."
"What the fuck does that even mean?" Hook demanded, then held up a hand. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
"Means fucking keeps you young.
S.E. Jakes
#51. Islands, being harder to get to, naturally separated some of the wheat from the chaff, which was the entire philosophy behind places like Nantucket, where children grew up feeling entitled to private beaches and loud pants.
Emma Straub
#52. Oh my goodness, Luke's massaging your arm! Isn't that sweet? Good Ava trilled in my ear.
Jump him! Rip his pants off! Bad Ava shouted in my other ear.
Kristen Ashley
#53. I shut the door and waited to see what she would do. To my surprise she lowered the gun but kept it in her hands. "I'll give you five minutes to explain."
I opened my mouth to begin but she held up a hand. "First let me get you some pants.
Cambria Hebert
#54. Nothing woke up a man as quickly in the morning as a scorpion in his pants.
Dana Marton
#55. I tend to wear leather pants with crew neck sweaters or leather jackets with denim.
Nina Garcia
#56. The human body has two ends on it: one to create with and one to sit on. Sometimes people get their ends reversed. When this happens they need a kick in the seat of the pants.
Theodore Roosevelt
#57. Time and time again, as a boy, I was humiliated. I celebrated my first day in long pants by going to a dance where I fell sprawling on the floor, and was so ashamed that I jumped up, ran away and left my girl to get home the best way she could.
Vash Young
#58. Show me a man with both feet on the ground and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants on.
Joe E. Lewis
#59. If somebody's pointing a trembling finger at your pants and saying you shouldn't be doing that, follow that finger back, go up the arm and look at the head that's behind it, because there's almost always something fairly woolly in there.
Jock Sturges
#60. Dying wasn't the joke, it was the punchline, the final guffaw, the crack-up, when your listeners' eyes should be streaming and your woman pees in her pants with laughing. You had to live with sufficient panache that the punchline worked.
Jane Messer
#61. Good morning, Meroe,' I said, dusting uselessly at my tracksuit pants. 'Might I interest you in today's special, pre-floured kitten?
Kerry Greenwood
#62. My waist used to be tiny. I just saw a picture of Miley Cyrus with a little crop top and low pants, and I'm like, 'That was me growing up in Brazil!' I had the typical model body, but after babies, it changed. I look more like a woman.
Camila Alves
#63. No matter how much you skake and dance, you always get some on your pants.
Allan
#64. When I was in elementary school, I was a big fan of the zip-off pants that could be turned into shorts. The Delia's catalog used to be my bible.
Hayley Williams
#65. If I don't get food in my mouth, I'm still happy. If my pants are round my ankles, as long as I don't get arrested for indecent exposure, I'm happy. I'm worried about keeping my hair, not how it's combed.
Michael J. Fox
#66. New Orleans style is funky - it's just as experimental as the city. There aren't any rules. If you want to wear a polka-dot shirt and some crazy pants, you can get away with it there.
Benjamin Booker
#67. Chase tugged my hips flush against his, and I felt a hard length between us. It was only a bulge against the leather of his pants, but it was enough to get me wetter than a rainforest between my legs.
Jasinda Wilder
#68. Whenever I get the sort of fancy pants idea that I'm doing anything other than pure expression things start to go wrong. When I get too premeditated, things start to go wrong. I just shut that part of my brain off.
Lev Yilmaz
#69. We rode in silence, I think all of us wondering what was behind the flowery wallpaper our perceptions had always pasted on the unknown. All the things the mind won't allow us to see, to protect our sanity, or our soul, or maybe just to keep the shit out of our pants.
David Wong
#70. There was no denying that I was physically attracted to her, and while she was a different type of girl than I normally went for, I wasn't surprised by wanting to get in her pants and between her legs.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#71. Still seated, Jordan lowered his pants to midthigh and rolled down the waistband of his boxer briefs, exposing a set of V-shaped hip flexor muscles that were bound to make an appearance in her dreams tonight. She
Melissa Landers
#72. I was a chubby boy. My pants used to wear out in the middle, and it was because my legs used to rub together. I wasn't obese, just chunky.
Paul Stanley
#73. Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.
Kevin James
#74. Maybonne said "Just because someone has lace-up hip huggers does not mean they can control the world". Then Magreet let her wear those pants. When my aunt saw them on her she shouted "Are you trying to kill me?!
Lynda Barry
#76. How could she smile when she felt like she'd been run over by a truck at Mach 1 and all she wanted to do was strip his combat pants from his delectable body and screw him until he begged for mercy?
Mina Carter
#77. I wear my pants on my upper torso to be abstract and different.
Thom Yorke
#78. Wen he pulled away e smiled as he said, "I'm on a mission to make you like hockey more than baseball."
"Unless you are wearing tight baseball pants, you aren't keeping my attention.
Toni Aleo
#79. I feel a sense of responsibility," said Jordan.
"And where is this feeling located? In your pants, perhaps?
Cassandra Clare
#80. I've always had rock star envy. Unfortunately, writing is a pedestrian, tame occupation done while sitting in coffee-stained pajamas in front of a computer rather than prowling around a huge stage in sweaty leather pants, so I have to get my kicks vicariously.
Kate Christensen
#81. Now we're going to go back in ther and get you something to eat. Then you're going to pull you big boy pants up and act like a man. My granddaughter needs her strapping boyfriend to be strong and not act like a pussy
Sophie Monroe
#82. A Mexican guy named Sam pushes Gary Frankel next to Isabel. "This guy can break your arm with one snap, asshole. Get out of my sight before I sic him on you," Sam says.
Gary, who's wearing a coral shirt and white pants, growls to look tough. It doesn't work.
Simone Elkeles
#83. Who pants for glory, finds but short repose; A breath revives him, or a breath o'erthrows.
Alexander Pope
#84. Here is my recipe for a mood enhancer. Take a friend, preferably one with a really annoying fringe and outsize pants, and when she is rambling on swiftly, push her into a ditch and run away.
Louise Rennison
#85. Jared and Chris stood in black leather pants and nothing else.
Jennifer Kacey
#87. Wetting one's pants is no kind of self-esteem builder.
Susan Juby
#88. For my confirmation, I didn't get a watch and my first pair of long pants, like most Lutheran boys. I got a telescope. My mother thought it would make the best gift.
Wernher Von Braun
#89. Want your words to live forever? Write them on your pants in mustard.
Sean DeLauder
#90. I've never been good at accepting jobs six months down the line. I can't do it. If I'm thinking about this, I can't think about that. So I always seem to fly by the seat of my pants.
Robert Carlyle
#91. You have to be a well-rounded leader. You can't fly by the seat of your pants anymore. You have to be incredibly tough-minded about standards of performance, but you also have to be incredibly tenderhearted with the people you're working with.
Douglas Conant
#92. Originality is putting its pants on while orthodoxy is ready to deliver.
Santosh Kalwar
#93. I don't know how many more of these awards I can come up for because I think a little bit is coming out of my pants right now.
Robert Pattinson
#94. With one hand she popped the button on my pants. She dropped to her knees. I got hard instantly, knowing what was coming next.
Me.
Karina Halle
#95. I can go all over the world with just three outfits: a blue blazer and gray flannel pants, a gray flannel suit, and black tie.
Pierre Cardin
#96. I feel like the only person in the world who sees David Beckham modelling his swimming pants on the cover of Elle magazine and thinks - oh, how much better a handsome guy like you would look, David, without all those dumb ink stains stitched into your skin.
Tony Parsons
#97. I'm kind of a beach bum from Florida, and I have a very different style. I like tight-fitting, Euro-fitting clothes, colored pants.
Chandler Parsons
#98. So I lived alone.
The first thing I did was take off my pants. Naturally.
Edward Abbey
#99. Billings pulled a roll from a compartment in his cargo pants leg. We gawked at him in disbelief. He shrugged. What? You never know when you're going to need duct tape.
Shelly Crane
#100. We slid down on our behinds, little avalanches of sand pouring around our feet and down our pants.
Ransom Riggs
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