Top 83 Quotes About Douche

#1. You're smart, pretty, and you aren't a douche purse.

Gena Showalter

Quotes About Douche #4392
#2. That dude is a class-A douche nozzle."

-Braeden

Cambria Hebert

Quotes About Douche #21846
#3. The guy just stood there. Hello. There're zombies everywhere. Try looking behind you, douche canoe.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Quotes About Douche #26567
#4. You don't have to tell him anything, Asher,' Lily said, obviously renewing her loyalty in spite of his douche wafflosity.

Christopher Moore

Quotes About Douche #40898
#5. When do you stop to de-douche?

Anthony Bourdain

Quotes About Douche #73355
#6. I want to leave a mark.

But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars.

John Green

Quotes About Douche #78643
#7. Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'

Zach Braff

Quotes About Douche #126218
#8. Thank you," I said in relief. "Fuck you, douche," he replied before hanging up.

Kelli Jean

Quotes About Douche #197060
#9. You are a side effect," Van Houten continued, "of an evolutionary process that cares little for individual lives. You are a failed experiment in mutation.

John Green

Quotes About Douche #214969
#10. You three don't like any of the men I introduce you to. You didn't even like the Hot OB."
"The HOT OB was a douche," Charlie said.
"This mystery man better not be another douche, Brooke," Ford warned. "I can't spend six innings trapped in a skybox with a douche.

Julie James

Quotes About Douche #237725
#11. It's extremely improper for me to call a young teenaged boy a douche," I stated and everyone looked at me. "That said, Taylor is right. He was definitely a douche.

Kristen Ashley

Quotes About Douche #296894
#12. It's definitely fun to play something you're not, which is always a good time. Who doesn't want to get to act like a jerk or a douche, every now and then?

Rob Riggle

Quotes About Douche #332577
#13. I'm your personal jock-blocker, baby." Tori reached into her jeans pocket and handed over a half-eaten Snickers bar. "Happy Douche Liberation Day.

Melissa Landers

Quotes About Douche #372586
#14. I tried to push down my anger. One thing I hated more than Daemon's douche-nozzle side was him telling me what to do. "You don't own me, Daemon."
"It's not about ownership, you little nut."
"Nut?" I glared at him. "I wouldn't call me names when I have a knife in my hand.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

Quotes About Douche #382260
#15. No," he assured her. "The old Alex would've had plenty to say." She lifted an amused eyebrow as he continued. "Old Alex would've instantly hated that douche.

Elizabeth Reyes

Quotes About Douche #398297
#16. It's the Law of Douche Bags. Douche bags walk away with enough holes in them to look like a colander, while good guys go down for the count with one random punch to the head. Sheri - one

Marcia Clark

Quotes About Douche #421500
#17. What do you want, douche-whore? Haven't you ruined my night enough by interrupting my mouth fucking session with your fuckhot teammate? Now you have to disturb my masturbation session, too?

Helena Hunting

Quotes About Douche #448993
#18. And oh my God, who brought that goddamn guitar? I want to kill them. Do you know how you can tell who the douche bag is at the party? It's the guy who starts playing the acoustic guitar.

Robin Benway

Quotes About Douche #478644
#19. God damn, I wish I could fast-forward time and be old and wrinkly. How awesome would that be? No more worrying about getting ogled by douche bags like Trent Gibson, or getting all hormonal and bothered against my will over hotties like Grant Blue, who wouldn't touch me with a ten-foot pole.

Isobel Irons

Quotes About Douche #509674
#20. He sprayed on a bit of this man's body-spray thing his mom had gotten for free at Walmart, feeling like a douche, but thinking it was better to feel like a douche than to smell like an asshole.

Lauren Oliver

Quotes About Douche #597395
#21. It was a very imaginative, bitey possum and also a total douche-canoe.

Jenny Lawson

Quotes About Douche #605338
#22. People are douche bags. Many people. Not all. But you know, most.
Which is why we destroyed the world.

Christopher Moore

Quotes About Douche #637316
#23. How can we be so utterly perfect, and you chose the douche who doesn't have the first clue what he has?

Melissa A. Craven

Quotes About Douche #644687
#24. Yeah, okay, I might've overreacted, but it's just because I care about you. You're my sister and I'm supposed to act like a douche when it comes to guys you're with."
"You got that part down to a science," Jase muttered.
Cam flipped him off.

J. Lynn

Quotes About Douche #749738
#25. I'll rip the fucking asshole's dick off and stuff it down his douche-bag throat. Take my whip and cornhole the bastard peckerheaded fuckwad till his ass whistles "The Star Spangled Banner." Then I'll break the dried-up piece of jackwad's leg off and shove it up his ass.

Cherise Sinclair

Quotes About Douche #764421
#26. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE.

Kanye West

Quotes About Douche #848805
#27. He owns Douchedome. All assholes compete in the douche form of the Olympics at Douchedome.

Calia Read

Quotes About Douche #857404
#28. It wasn't until that moment I knew three things. One, I was definitely going to work tomorrow. Two, I was a total douche bag for what I was about to do. Three, the plan would be placed into action as soon as possible.

Sadie Grubor

Quotes About Douche #865009
#29. I fight the urge to call him a mother-fucking douche canoe and glare down at his shoes, my lip curling.

Belle Aurora

Quotes About Douche #865780
#30. By the time we reached town, I was still utterly resolved to keep my hands off her ... but Taz was at her place, and I didn't trust that asshole for shit. That's why I took her back to my apartment instead ... and you can shut right the fuck up about that.
I already know I'm a douche.

Joanna Wylde

Quotes About Douche #869408
#31. I thought about my goal of having a beer at a bar with an age-appropriate friend and decided a pub was even better, because I really didn't want to be near douche bags trying to copulate.

Matthew Quick

Quotes About Douche #875892
#32. And get some self-esteem. What the fuck is that? It's so annoying to see a pretty girl see herself as not worthy. You know what it makes us guys think you aren't worthy? We see you how you see you. You're pretty and funny and smart. Stop being such a douche-canoe.

Tara Brown

Quotes About Douche #881415
#33. Hipsterdom's a tightrope strung across the canyon of douche-baggery. He clung by a finger.

Anthony Marra

Quotes About Douche #894190
#34. Don't demean what I know is one of your favorite body parts.

Gil A. Waters

Quotes About Douche #896188
#35. Forget all of our past bullshit, okay? I've got less than a handful of days to convince you that I'm not a complete douche bag, and I want a fair shot. Give it to me.

Liz Reinhardt

Quotes About Douche #899517
#36. Method rules his training, which blends the physical with the mental. How many chess masters put in, prior to an important match, an allotted time daily to bicycling and shadow-boxing, followed by a cold douche and a brisk rub down?

Hans Kmoch

Quotes About Douche #899657
#37. Granuaile:"So why don't cult leaders achieve godhood?"
Atticus:" Because they're megalomaniacs drenched in douche juice.

Kevin Hearne

Quotes About Douche #920430
#38. And Rusty is a douche! And the wind in my hair smells like whoosh!"
Cade laughed, "Don't you mean sounds?"
"What sounds?"
"Nevermind," he chuckled

Cora Carmack

Quotes About Douche #939507
#39. And he paddled away in his douche canoe.

Joe Hill

Quotes About Douche #951623
#40. No one gives out Congratulations on Not Being a Douche-Canoe medals, because good behavior is part of the social contract.

Jen Lancaster

Quotes About Douche #993934
#41. I may have at some point referred to him as a douche nozzle.

Hannah Harrington

Quotes About Douche #1020798
#42. If a man tells you he's an asshole & that you deserve better, believe him...it's a warning. It's best you listen before he proves it to you.

April Mae Monterrosa

Quotes About Douche #1072859
#43. My dad can be such a douche sometimes when he makes complete and total sense; I so freaking hate him.

L.M. Roberts

Quotes About Douche #1100154
#44. You're worse than a douche bag. You're a douche puddle, the excrement of a douching.

L.D. Davis

Quotes About Douche #1114771
#45. How much to make her go to her room and stop talking to me?" Cal asked.
While I gaped at his rudeness, Gigi coughed a rather obvious "douchebag!" into her fist. I caught her eye and shook my head emphatically. Douche-coughing someone with superhearing was not a responsible choice.

Molly Harper

Quotes About Douche #1125129
#46. It takes the right guy to show you how wrong the last douche bag was.

Srinivas Shenoy

Quotes About Douche #1146338
#47. Father' is such an arbitary word. Douche bag, on the other hand ...

Becca Fitzpatrick

Quotes About Douche #1192435
#48. Listen douche pants. You're not going to tell me anything about disease I don't already know.

John Green

Quotes About Douche #1193326
#49. April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations - taxes are for douche bags.

Ed Helms

Quotes About Douche #1221251
#50. Why hadn't she said anything? It wouldn't have been weird for her to tell me, Pierce, back when I was in high school and had terribly poor judgment, I used to go out with an extreme douche.

Meg Cabot

Quotes About Douche #1233749
#51. I may be a douche to some people, but I actually do run companies.

Scott Disick

Quotes About Douche #1234805
#52. People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I know what goes on down there, because I'm a huge douche.'

Conan O'Brien

Quotes About Douche #1249926
#53. My car has wyvern giblets on the inside and fairy douche on the outside, I deserve the big shower!

S.L.J. Shortt

Quotes About Douche #1269143
#54. A douche of spray blinded my brother for a moment.

H.G.Wells

Quotes About Douche #1316383
#55. That guy," Lindsey said, "is a douche. Asterisk, I hate him. Footnote, he can suck it.

Chloe Neill

Quotes About Douche #1322405
#56. Abs - all the assholes had them. Four to six muscles were like a graph chart to show just how big of a douche bag the guy was.

Jamie McGuire

Quotes About Douche #1398640
#57. Gryffindor is the courageous one right? I mean, I'm here because I have the balls to tell adults when they're douche bags, so yeah, Gryffindor.

Trish Cook, Brendan Halpin

Quotes About Douche #1441145
#58. The customer is always right, Brook Lynn often said. And Jessie Kay agreed ... unless the customer was a douche bag, and then he was just a douche bag.

Gena Showalter

Quotes About Douche #1468741
#59. This Jacob dude sounds like a real Bilbo Douche-Baggins.

Jess Rothenberg

Quotes About Douche #1487334
#60. Yeah Jesus could turn water in to wine, but he didn't share. Douche.

Anthony Langston

Quotes About Douche #1492551
#61. Wait. Don't we even get a say in this?" James is supposed to be a macho, baseball player. Why is he such a whiny douche? "What? You want us to take a vote?" That

Roxas James

Quotes About Douche #1535255
#62. You pussy-whipped douche waffle.

Jamie McGuire

Quotes About Douche #1564738
#63. I love that, for Kanye [West], there's no difference between the epic and the personal. That makes him sound like a really grandiose douche - which, I don't think anyone, himself included, could contest - but at the same time, it's really amazing. I love the scope of his perfectionism.

David Longstreth

Quotes About Douche #1566751
#64. Your attempt at GQ has, tragically, ended in douche-bag. - Anna, Seers of Light

Jennifer DeLucy

Quotes About Douche #1570996
#65. She'd had sex with a demon. Tayla swallowed bile and tried to keep her stomach from heaving. She needed to shower. And douche.

Larissa Ione

Quotes About Douche #1573225
#66. Joshua was everything I expected him to be - handsome, charming, stylish, and a complete douche.

S.L. Jennings

Quotes About Douche #1603440
#67. Most people lie and let life play upon them like the tepid discharges of a douche-bag.

Lawrence Durrell

Quotes About Douche #1653692
#68. Hell, even I'm a little surprised by Nine
between this and our little heart-to-heart in the doorway earlier, I might have to upgrade him from total douche bag to minor tool.

Pittacus Lore

Quotes About Douche #1666400
#69. Six hours later, when I returned, I was greeted at the door- and this before it was even opened -by the overpowering smell of vinegar. What were my neighbors thinking? That a douche-obsessed woman with a gigantic, three-foot vagina lived next door?

Augusten Burroughs

Quotes About Douche #1669310
#70. Because all little girls deserve to be protected. Even the daughters of douche bags.

Kimberly Wollenburg

Quotes About Douche #1673007
#71. I processed his words, my lips searching for his clumsily in the dark. I felt his fingers squeeze my neck. And that douche choked me out.

Camilla Monk

Quotes About Douche #1693496
#72. Justin Bieber is a douche bag. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about cars.

Corey Taylor

Quotes About Douche #1699419
#73. What a douche," Reagan muttered. "I'm pretty sure my mom has that scarf.

Rainbow Rowell

Quotes About Douche #1709146
#74. Romance is the douche of the bourgeoisie,

David Berman

Quotes About Douche #1734874
#75. Douche. You are a fucking douche shovel.

Kandi Steiner

Quotes About Douche #1753109
#76. My mouth dropped open, because even if it wasn't my best friend, I knew the guy who was presently rubbing the short stubble on his chin. The only new thing about him was the little scar on his left eyebrow. It was Gabriel Green, known to me as Gabe the douche bag. Great!

Stephanie Witter

Quotes About Douche #1777193
#77. Gentlemen, a depression is for capitalism like a good, cold douche.

Joseph A. Schumpeter

Quotes About Douche #1808171
#78. I know Matt is your friend, but I think he's a douche bag.

Rebekkah Ford

Quotes About Douche #1814301
#79. And that goddamned bald guy from The Weather Channel was in New Orleans. Everyone knew that the guy only went to the place that was going to get hit the worst. Like a bald, douche-bag weather angel of death.

S.E. Jakes

Quotes About Douche #1837605
#80. Dad always told me that you can judge people by the way they treat waiters and assistants. By this measure, Peter Van Houten was possibly the world's douchiest douche.

John Green

Quotes About Douche #1854966
#81. I think the world would be a simpler place if 'douche' and 'touche' were pronounced the same.

Travis J. Dahnke

Quotes About Douche #1861259
#82. If I was a cynic I would be wondering if sooner or later some charismatic douche-bag might stomp all over this Little House on the Prairie dream of yours.

Stephen Baxter

Quotes About Douche #1873479
#83. Well, I wouldn't be grumpy if you left my ice cream alone, douche!

Priya Kanaparti

Quotes About Douche #1875793

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