Top 100 Martini Quotes
#1. Bright was the light of my last martini on my moral horizon
Norman Mailer
#2. I think I'm probably much better at the boots and pocket knife thing than I am at the high heels and martini thing.
Sarah Wayne Callies
#3. I was sent to a school with bosses for teachers- no Twain, only cane; check your dick you harry, no Dickens either, No Tom Sawyers no David Copperfields only Webster, master it for grammar, the Wren with a dash of Martini-Drink deep.
Aporva Kala
#4. Robert Johnson invented the blues, at midnight, at a crossroads, after selling his soul to the devil. Dorothy Parker invented amusing women, at 2 p.m., in New York's best cocktail bar, after tipping a busboy 50 cents for a martini. It's hard not to draw conclusions as to which is the brighter sex.
Caitlin Moran
#5. The mothers in my neighborhood were screamers and yellers, silent fuming carpet-raking speed cleaners or detached unkempt anticleaners, all-day-luncheon martini drinkers, chain smokers prostrate on the couch with bookcases filled with accounts of JFK and Camelot.
Laurie Lindeen
#6. He snapped some icicles off a branch to make me a martini. He came back to the car, long legs lifting high in the snow, and there was snow in his hair and on his eyelashes and I remembered that I love him. It felt like something breaking with a little pain and spilling warm. I hope the parka
Thomas Harris
#7. I've been learning a lot about how to make a martini and all the variations that you can have with a few ingredients with Belvedere.
Stephanie Sigman
#8. All my life I've been terrible at remembering people's names. I once introduced a friend of mine as Martini. Her name was actually Olive.
Tallulah Bankhead
#9. A medium Vodka dry Martini - with a slice of lemon peel. Shaken and not stirred.
Ian Fleming
#10. Your presence resembles a dirty martini,
she only drinks it when she's thirsty.
Shannon Lynette
#11. Apparently President Obama's favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, 'On the beach, in Hawaii, in 2017.'
Jimmy Fallon
#12. Do I really run like that?" (Kitty)
"Yup," Martini confirmed. "Don't worry, I think it's sexy."
"Thank God. I think I look like a cheetah on drugs.
Gini Koch
#13. Like a brain surgeon who drinks a martini when he's not on call, the successful kids in your school may smoke pot on occasion, but they are not stoners.
Bill O'Reilly
#14. The martini: the only American invention as perfect as the sonnet.
H.L. Mencken
#15. There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.
Ogden Nash
#16. Films are a very personal experience - just like a martini - so I try to think about what I like, what projects I like to be in, and make sure I feel proud about it because, at the end, I'm the only one that's going to look back and feel proud or not about what I was doing.
Stephanie Sigman
#17. I love bookstores and booksellers. In my novel 'Dirty Martini,' I thanked over 3,000 booksellers by name in the back matter.
J.A. Konrath
#18. Have you seen the bologna that has the olives in it? Who's that for? 'I like my bologna like a martini. With an olive.' 'I'll have the bologna sandwich - dirty.'
Jim Gaffigan
#19. I'd rather drink my dinner out of a martini glass and follow it up with a cosmopolitan chaser.
Kimberly Raye
#21. This steak wouldn't have tasted nearly as good if I'd been lying dead at the bottom of a ravine. I lifted my martini and drank to that.
Marcia Clark
#22. Zen martini: A martini with no vermouth at all. And no gin, either.
P. J. O'Rourke
#23. My chosen drink would be a Southern Comfort, lime and lemonade, a dry martini or a good red wine.
Nikki Sanderson
#24. If you told me to write a love song tonight, I'd have a lot of trouble. But if you tell me to write a love song about a girl with a red dress who goes into a bar and is on her fifth martini and is falling off her chair, that's a lot easier, and it makes me free to say anything I want.
Stephen Sondheim
#25. How about slipping out of those wet things and into a dry Martini?
Noel Coward
#26. As far I'm concerned, being an adult is way more fun than being a kid. But then I was a kid who wanted to be an adult. I'd watch shows like 'Bewitched' and see Darren come home and mix a martini and I'd go, 'That looks awesome! I want to do that!'
Paul Feig
#27. We sit down with the kids every single night, not that I want to every night - sometimes I'd rather be out with my husband having a martini at a swanky restaurant - but we sit down with our kids every night at dinner.
Debi Mazar
#28. As I remember, the worst result of a World War II block was a flood of Argentine Gin. Sensitive martini-boys and Gibson-girls still shudder ...
Mary Francis Kennedy Fisher
#29. A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini.
Jackie Gleason
#30. The great thing about working with NPR - and, really, there's like a million of 'em - is all the cool stuff I get to do for the public. Meet the president. Hang out at the National Finals Rodeo in Vegas. Drink a $10,000 martini.
John Ridley
#32. No olive?" I said. "Only a fucking beast would have an olive in his martini,
Robert B. Parker
#33. I should like to elbow aside the established pieties and raise my martini glass in salute to the mortal arts of pleasure.
Bob Shacochis
#34. He had a third martini. He looked at me intently and took hold of my arm. 'Look', he said. 'You're a fish in a pond. It's drying up. You have to mutate into an amphibian, but someone keeps hanging on to you and telling you to stay in the pond, everything's going to be all right.
Jack Kerouac
#35. One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.
James Thurber
#36. I held her shoulder blades, caressing the grooves of her ribs, scooping her in my arms and feeling her tense muscles loosen up. She was indeed a dirty martini with a twist.
Kavipriya Moorthy
#37. If in the well and truly made martini DeVoto finds "water of life" and the blessing to the spirit, so also DeVoto's The Hour brings to its readers the breath of life and a vision of themselves made generous, indomitable and wise.
Lewis H. Lapham
#38. Adrian ordered a martini, earning disapproving looks from his father and me.
'It's barely noon,' said Nathan.
'I know,' said Adrian. 'I'm surprised I held out that long too.
Richelle Mead
#39. I am prepared to believe that a dry martini slightly impairs the palate, but think what it does for the soul.
Alec Waugh
#40. Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini ...
Mae West
#41. Happiness is a dry martini and a good woman ... or a bad woman.
George Burns
#42. One martini is just right. Two martinis are too many. Three martinis are never enough.
M.F.K. Fisher
#44. I don't get cast as the guy who steps off a yacht in a white linen suit with a martini.
Martin Freeman
#45. Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Robert Benchley
#46. When she finally was able to order a martini, the first sip nearly knocked her head off. It was so strong. And how surprised she was that scotch tasted more like iodine than butterscotch candy. Two of the great disappointments in her life.
Fannie Flagg
#47. Let us candidly admit that there are shameful blemishes on the American past, of which the worst by far is rum. Nevertheless, we have improved man's lot and enriched his civilization with rye, bourbon and the Martini cocktail. In all history has any other nation done so much?
Bernard DeVoto
#48. The three-martini lunch is the epitome of American efficiency. Where else can you get an earful, a bellyful and a snootful at the same time?
Gerald R. Ford
#49. Hazen had already begun to mix her a martini. She watched approvingly. "Martinis make everything worthwhile, don't they?" she said, smiling at Strand.
Irwin Shaw
#50. A Roman centurion walks into a bar and orders a martinus.
The bartender says, "Don't you mean a martini?"
The centurion answers, "If I wanted a double I would have ordered it.
Harlan Wolff
#51. as bitter and medicinal as the martini was, I set about drinking it as though each sip would make it more appetizing. Which proved to be true. Five
Camille Pagan
#52. Happiness is ... finding two olives in your martini when youre hungry.
Johnny Carson
#53. This is an excellent martini - sort of tastes like it isn't there at all, just a cold cloud.
Herman Wouk
#54. A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily.
Daniel Seligman
#55. I think I had it in the back of my mind that I wanted to sound like a dry martini.
Paul Desmond
#56. Kitty, do you have the bottle?"
"In my purse. Which is in my room. Not that I think I can find my room from here."
"I'll get it," Martini said. He stood up and disappeared. Ten seconds later he was back, bottle in hand.
"What kept you?"
"That purse gets worse every time I look inside.
Gini Koch
#57. Does my hair look alright? Of course, it looks alright. Why am I asking you for? ... We get lunch right? ... Can we get this thing going? I gotta meet my girlfriend for a martini.
Alex Riley
#58. She ordered a martini and encouraged me to, but said she couldn't drink it with her medication. She just liked seeing it in front of her, like the old days, all set to do its little magic.
Richard Ford
#59. Obinze's burger was served in four pieces, arranged in a large martini glass. When Georgina's order arrived, a pile of red raw beef, an egg sunnily splayed on top of it, Obinze tried not to look at it as he ate, otherwise he might be tempted to vomit.
Anonymous
#60. Worrying about parents is a waste of time. It's your life. Let's have a martini.
Megan Mayhew Bergman
#62. We have lived through the era when happiness was a warm puppy, and the era when happiness was a dry martini, and now we have come to the era when happiness is 'knowing what your uterus looks like'.
Nora Ephron
#63. The chromatic scale is what you use to give the effect of drinking a quinine martini and having an enema simultaneously.
Philip Larkin
#64. I never go jogging, it makes me spill my martini.
George Burns
#65. You are my Marilyn. You are my lake full of fishes. You are my sky set, my 'Hollywood in Miniature,' my pink Cadillac, my highway, my martini, the stage for my heart to rock and roll on, the screen where my movies light up.
Francesca Lia Block
#66. 'The tea is coming!' ... she may want a martini, but make her drink tea.
Alice Taylor
#67. A dry martini,' he said. 'One. In a deep champagne goblet.' ...
Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it?
Ian Fleming
#68. Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.
Douglas Coupland
#69. When I talk about my husband, I feel as if people roll their eyes. It's like when you're 16 and order a martini, and the waiter says, 'Do you think I'm stupid?'. They can't grasp that I'm old enough to be married.
Megan Fox
#70. I bought a piano once because I had the dream of playing As Time Goes By as some girl's leaning on it drinking a martini. Great image. But none of it worked out. I can't even play Chopsticks. But I've got a nice piano at my house!
George Clooney
#71. Why couldn't we put on a defense? I had seventeen witnesses standing outside the door. They just dropped the defense and went on to the penalty phase. Like everything was cut and dry before it went off to martini land.
Charles Manson
#72. I was on the floor. "Um, a little help?"
Christopher put his hand down. Martini cleared his throat and Christopher's hand retracted.
"I can handle it, thanks."
"There's nothing amorous about pulling someone off the floor," Christopher muttered.
"There is when I do it.
Gini Koch
#73. Suffering is as necessary to entertaining as vermouth is to a Martini - a small but vital ingredient.
Phyllis McGinley
#74. A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.
Noel Coward
#75. It was always fun to skate with Paul Wylie and Paul Martini.
Nancy Kerrigan
#76. A priest is sent to Alaska. A bishop goes up to visit one year later. The bishop asks, How do you like it up here? The priest says, If it wasn't for my Rosary, and 2 martinis a day, I'd be lost. Bishop, would you like a martini? Yes. Rosary, get the bishop a martini!
Henny Youngman
#77. Then Frank said, 'Have you ever heard that when five o'clock comes, it's martini time? We could be right in the middle of a scene, but it's over for me, because it's martini time. Did you ever hear that?
James Kaplan
#78. A well-made Martini or Gibson, correctly chilled and nicely served, has been more often my true friend than any two-legged creature.
M.F.K. Fisher
#79. If Plato is a fine red wine, then Aristotle is a dry martini.
Eric Stoltz
#80. With all respect to James Bond, a martini should be stirred, not shaken.
Kingsley Amis
#81. They say that a martini is like a woman's breast. One ain't enough and three is too many.
Chris Gayle
#82. It began to falter not when the book publishers who loved books gave way to those who preferred profits to reading. It happened when publishers and editors cut back on their drinking. If there is one national flower in book publishing, it is the martini.
Al Silverman
#83. You cook?" Alfred asked Martini, clearly shocked.
"I can dress myself, too. And sometimes I can handle all Field Operations for the entire Centaurion Division. Amazing, isn't it?
Gini Koch
#84. When I was a little kid, all I wanted to do was to escape what I thought was the country and get to a city. Probably film and television had influenced me so much, I really thought the key to happiness was living a very artificial life in a penthouse in New York with martini glasses.
Tom Ford
#85. Let's see, the last guy I dated - is there a word for someone who's sexually attracted to Muppets? Andrea's elegant persona was destroyed as she laughed so hard martini shot out of her nose.
Molly Harper
#86. Russians really needed a product that would be not as strong as vodka and not as feminine as cheap sparkling wine, so Martini was a good solution.
Roustam Tariko
#87. When I have one martini, I feel bigger, wiser, taller. When I have a second, I feel superlative. When I have more, there's no holding me.
William Faulkner
#88. After a match, my opponent goes to the hospital and gets an IV and I have a martini.
Tank Abbott
#89. I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.
Dorothy Parker
#90. I'll have a martini...two at the most. Three, I'm under the table...four, I'm under the host.
Dorothy Parker
#91. I just smiled and wished hard for the waitress to come back from Cancun or Mazatlan or wherever she was so I could order my martini.
Karen MacInerney
#92. You can no more keep a Martini in the refrigerator than you can keep a kiss there.
Bernard DeVoto
#93. Bonnie made a joke now as she served him his martini. She made the same joke every time she served anybody a martini. "Breakfast of Champions," she said.
Kurt Vonnegut
#94. When passerby's ignore homeless people, they don't know if that was a man or woman in uniform previously. They should not be invisible. They cannot be ignored.
Max Martini
#95. Martinis are like breasts, one isn't enough, and three is too many
Herb Caen
#96. But now, I am addicted to the peace and calm of being alone. There is something so soothing about solitude that I have no urgent wish to give it up and connect with people.
Kavipriya Moorthy
#97. Television was a great place for me to kind of fall on my face and make mistakes and be okay with it and move on.
Max Martini
#98. It's like getting the best Christmas gift ever, but Santa decided to kick the crap out of you before you unwrapped it.
Adrienne Martini
#99. They don't give blue ribbons to second-place beers.
Hosho McCreesh
#100. He lied with a smile that paralyzed reason." [Abby Chandlis - main character of The List]
Steve Martini
