Top 100 It Hilarious Quotes
#1. I find it hilarious that whenever I light up, Americans look at me like I'm going to urinate on their children.
Michelle Hodkin
#2. That sun is lookin' good ... and hot! Get it? Hilarious! My joke writers are awesome.
Tom Bergeron
#3. We now think it hilarious that medieval streets were used as open sewers. Equally, our descendants will say: 'You won't believe this, but people were once allowed to hurl a couple of tons of dangerous metal around smashing into each other.'
Norman Foster
#4. Funny how so many rookies out there still judge condition of the US economy on the rigged "stock market". I frankly find it hilarious.
Ziad K. Abdelnour
#5. And of course Marc Cherry heightens it and makes it hilarious. But there's so many universal themes in the show, and he made it so funny. We knew he was onto something if he could keep it up and, thankfully, he did.
James Denton
#6. I find it hilarious when I see 'not alive' fearing death
Mayank Sharma
#7. I find it hilarious that if we lie to the government, it's a crime. But if they lie to us its politics
Ziad K. Abdelnour
#8. I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you find it hilarious? Then should it not a protected freedom of speech?
Doug Stanhope
#9. [Hunt for the Wilderpeople] people seem to be just finding it hilarious in Sundance. I would think that judging on the feedback I get; it's a very warming film. It's not sentimental, but people are sort of heart warmed by a message that's pretty rare.
Sam Neill
#10. Lebanese freedom of speech : You get to say whatever you like as long as the authorities approve of it ... Hilarious.
Ziad K. Abdelnour
#11. There's been lots of theater that uses hip-hop in it, but more often than not, it's used as a joke - isn't it hilarious that these characters are rapping. I treat it as a musical form, and a musical form that allows you to pack in a ton of lyric.
Lin-Manuel Miranda
#12. I find it hilarious when Obama's hand gets caught in the cookie jar
Allen West
#13. I find it hilarious that there are academics who try to analyse chemical changes in the brains of students while exposing them to gags.
Arthur Smith
#14. I think when black performers performed in blackface, they were kind of taking back slave songs, but it was still a little bit iffy because they were performing, a lot of times, for white audiences who found it hilarious.
Cecile McLorin Salvant
#15. It's often hilarious to me that I'm writing about Tonga or some tropical place and there's a blizzard outside and the cows are on their backs with their hooves in the air.
Tim Cahill
#16. There are only so many hilarious actors so when they cross-pollinate, people assume it's always the same actors and directors.
Judd Apatow
#17. I was a huge fan of 'Arrested Development,' and there's just something it tickles in me and it's bright and it's hilarious.
Keri Russell
#18. Young love is so ridiculous, as is middle-aged and old love. And it's also hilarious. When have you ever felt so vulnerable and wonderful and terrible at the same time?
Grace Helbig
#19. Damn it! I knew she was a monster! John! Amy! Listen! Guard your buttholes.
David Wong
#20. It's hilarious a lot of times. You have a conversation with someone, and he's like, 'You speak so well!' I'm like, 'What do you mean? Do you understand that's an insult?
Jay-Z
#21. This Syrian circus/crisis we are going through is hilarious ... It's like watching some thug killing another person and asking him for his bullets but releasing him free.
Ziad K. Abdelnour
#22. We are saved gratis, by grace. We do nothing and we deserve nothing; it is all, absolutely and without qualification, one huge, hilarious gift.
Robert Farrar Capon
#23. My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious.
Bill Burr
#24. The heroines in 'That's What She Said' are flawed, messy, damaged, hilarious and culpable and not really concerned about being acceptable to the audience in any traditional sense, which for me is what makes them all the more gorgeous. And the fearless truth of that is what makes it funny.
Carrie Preston
#25. I don't know what to do about him, Sammy." (Jackie)
"It's not what you do about him. It's what you do with him. Grab him by those big, manly arms that I'm assuming he has, and show him what New York has to offer.
Ali Novak
#26. I really unfortunately don't have tons of hilarious Sundance stories, because really I am not the biggest fan of hanging out, but the reason why is because I never go see other people's movies and I think that's the way to do it.
Lizzy Caplan
#27. Why are babies allowed to cry when they wake up, but adults crying when they wake is frowned upon? Babies are permitted to act like assholes whenever they feel like it and no one blinks ...
Chelsea Handler
#28. Its just I fell into a bunch of movies that kind of fit in my life. It made sense to do them in the 80s. Folks who know me think its hilarious.
Rick Moranis
#29. I have always thought foreigners with their unusual skin colours, mad languages and ignorant customs absolutely hilarious, and I think it's a shame that in recent years its become unfashionable to poke fun at them. I certainly don't think they themselves ever minded it.
Arthur Mathews
#30. (On the book "Been Down So Long It Looks Like Up To Me") Coming on like the Hallelujah Chorus done by 200 kazoo players with perfect pitch. Hilarious, chilling, sexy, profound, maniacal, beautiful and outrageous all at the same time.
Thomas Pynchon
#31. Running with the bulls was one of my crazier judgments in life and one of those things I decided to do spur of the moment. It was pretty hilarious.
Heather Mitts
#32. A harem," she murmured into his neck and laughed at last at the notion. "I can't believe you had a harem. You are hilarious, Stuart." He laughed. At himself.
"I hated men. I loved women. I wanted them all. It seemed logical to start to accumulate them.
Judith Ivory
#33. Bryant Gumbel's ego has applied for statehood. And if it's accepted, it will be the fifth-largest.
Willard Scott
#34. My husband wasn't put off by it - he thought it was hilarious to see me dressed as Dylan! He didn't particularly want to kiss me with stubble all over my face - it felt a bit odd! But I think he's used to it [the make-up process].
Cate Blanchett
#35. I had to make water " I said. It was the classic female excuse and no male in recorded history had ever questioned it.
"I see " the Inspector said and left it at that.
Later I would have a quick piddle behind the caravan for insurance purposes. No one would be any the wiser.
Alan Bradley
#36. Depends on one's perspective whether my current state of affairs is considered hilarious. A stranger peering into my life would probably find it quite comical. I think it's tragically humiliating, to say the very least.
Sarah Noffke
#37. Honestly, my dating life according to the tabloids is very exciting, and the most hilarious thing is that it's nowhere near as exciting as the tabloids have ever made it out to be.
Margot Robbie
#38. I love the movie 'Taken,' but the dialogue in the beginning of that movie is hilarious. They're talking, these commando types, and there's dialogue like, 'Hopefully your daughter appreciates what you're doing for her. Does she know that you're doing it?' What guys talk like this?
Michael Jai White
#39. Just remember: when your nerd talks to someone about "man tar", it has nothing to do with the stickiness on your sheets.
Piper Vaughn Xara X Xanakas
#40. I've been going up and bombing everywhere. It's great. I love it. It's hilarious.
Hannibal Buress
#41. My wife gets mad because we'll be in the middle of something and I'll stop and say, 'No, I've got to write this down!' She'll say, 'No! We're in a discussion!' I say, 'I know, but it's hilarious!
Henry Cho
#42. It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner.
Ben Berger
#43. Is it just me or do they put the MORON in OXYMORON?
Melissa Cutler
#44. Zack?" Anthony's voice was suddenly serious. "You know, it's not a great idea to seduce a woman you're protecting. All kidding aside, do you want me to send Matthews over?"
"Who?"
"Junior."
"I will shoot him on sight," Zack said and hung up so he could follow Lucy into the kitchen.
Jennifer Crusie
#45. I wore white kabuki makeup, had blue-black hair. At one point, I shaved an inch and a half around my hairline and continued the white makeup up so it made my head look slightly deformed. I thought it was hilarious.
Melissa McCarthy
#46. Give it up, mister! No sex for you!" I yelled at the wall as my girls cackled maniacally.
"Tons of sex for me, sister. None for you!" he yelled all too clearly through the wall.
Alice Clayton
#47. Sexcastle is a perfect mix of homage and comedy, action and irony, loving tribute and hilarious send-up of the great, good, and ungodly-bad action movies of the '80s. I don't remember the last time a debut book hit me this hard. Literally, this book punched me in the face. It's THAT mean.
Matt Fraction
#48. Don't open the door to strangers," said her dad. "Unless they're selling something. Then open the door and see if I'd like it. If I'd like it, buy it for me. But nothing cheap. I have standards. Nothing too expensive, either. My standards aren't that high.
Derek Landy
#49. It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt," Aggie said.
"And then it's hilarious," Eric said.
Olivia Cunning
#50. The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Lex Martin
#51. Nerds get what they want when they want it, and they go psycho if it's not immediately available. Nerds overfocus. I guess that's the problem. But it's precisely this ability to narrow-focus that makes them so good at code writing ...
Douglas Coupland
#52. It made her want to have his babies and give him both her kidneys.
Rainbow Rowell
#53. I love 'Robot Chicken,' 'The Boondocks' and 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' Then there's this show called 'The First 48.' It's a documentary about killings where they try and find murderers. They interrogate people and they tell on each other - it's hilarious.
ASAP Rocky
#54. What are you doing?"
"I'm, uh, acting normal."
"No you're not. You're acting like someone pretending to be normal. Stop pretending and start acting, but don't act like you're not pretending, that'll make it worse.
Derek Landy
#55. Thats what happens to Snow in Texas, lady. It freaking MELTS!! Leo Valdez- The Lost Hero
Rick Riordan
#56. Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!
Doug Stanhope
#57. Come on," he said. "Bring the poker."
I brought the tongs as well. I felt like it.
P.G. Wodehouse
#58. I loved 'Pulling.' It was so original and hilarious. I remember being very sad when it finished. I'd love to start a campaign to bring it back, but if I did, the actors would probably say, 'We're fine. We're all really busy, thanks. Please don't!'
Sophie McShera
#59. While I'm trying to be a villain, Tyler Posey's just making me break character all the time. It's hilarious.
Colton Haynes
#60. Well, I would definitely give up performing ... But I would still sit down in an office and pretend to write with Dawn, even if we never produced anything, because it's just hilarious. I would miss that.
Jennifer Saunders
#61. It's the originality of Pauls Toutonghi's voice and vision that makes this such a remarkable novel. Toutonghi is a true daredevil of a writer, and this fantastically hilarious and affecting book will have you on the edge of your seat.
Skip Horack
#62. it funny how in school, the best grade is an A, but in the breast department, you never want an A? You want the breasts that get bad grades? The Breast School dropouts? The ones that get Ds and Fs? Hilarious.
Devon Hartford
#63. I find the female tragedy of insecurity to be hilarious. We get obsessed over issues like the tiny skin tags on our backs or that we're fat. You read one line in a magazine and it sends you into a tailspin.
Lake Bell
#65. It's hilarious to recognize how completely another person resembles your imperfect self.
Ian McEwan
#66. God will forgive me. It's his job. Heine said this on his deathbed (1856). Hilarious. He must have thought that up years before and counted the seconds to use it.
Heinrich Heine
#67. It was such a pleasure to work with Eugene Levy. What a treat. That's a guy I grew up watching as a kid. Guys like that, they were hilarious and didn't have to be super vile or X-rated.
Harland Williams
#68. There's comedy in tragedy, and tragedy in comedy. There's always light and dark in most jobs. Whether it's framed as a comedy, drama or tragedy, you try to mix it up within that. You can work on a comedy and it's not laugh-a-minute off set. You can work on a tragedy that's absolutely hilarious.
Harry Treadaway
#69. I think it's hilarious when people call Jessica Alba or Eva Longoria curvy. Come on. They're not curvy. They're small. I'm curvy.
America Ferrera
#70. If you play it straight it's funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious.
Tom Hiddleston
#71. I always enjoy conversation more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I was the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.'
Joss Whedon
#72. The point is, if we find out you've been horrible to Harry - "
" - and make no mistake, we'll hear about it.
"even if you won't let Harry use the fellytone - "
"Telephone
J.K. Rowling
#73. Mind is infinitely creative. And when it's not stuck, that's where the joy comes from. Something happens, and the way we think about it, understand it, see it, is actually hilarious, whereas before it used to depress us.
Byron Katie
#74. I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It's such a tricky thing; you don't want to make rules about it. There's nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he'd break every rule you set up. But he's funny.
Andy Kindler
#75. It's hilarious, because my guitar has what's known as a tremolo bar or a whammy bar. And the whammy bar is probably the most alien thing on my guitar that could possibly relate to a classical guitar.
Steve Vai
#76. Super Troopers is hilarious. Everybody always thought we somehow - we did Reno way, way before any of us had seen Super Troopers. It sat on the shelf for a couple years.
Thomas Lennon
#77. If the shoe fits, buy another one just like it.
George Carlin
#78. I sometimes have birthday parties for the kids in my neighborhood and then pretend to suggest that I am going to molest them to the parents. It's a hilarious prank even though I am not a paedophile.
Thom Yorke
#80. My nan used to look after me in the summer holidays and she had a cat with one eye. It used to walk into walls and tables. I used to think it was hilarious. It was a slapstick cat.
Noel Fielding
#81. I don't like days that end without answers. I'll just keep my eyes open and we'll see what happens. I look up. One of the streetlights fades, disappearing as quick as it shone, the light sucked out of it. Life can be so hilarious sometimes I don't have time to laugh.
Stacey Donovan
#82. Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly ...
Saket Assertive
#83. Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.
Mark Twain
#84. I moved to New York when I was 17 and I had no idea what I was doing. I really thought I was going to take that city by storm and it taught me a lot; it was like the school of life. For me, it was like a series of really hilarious experiences in New York with getting jobs and getting fired.
Dreama Walker
#85. My wife thinks I'm a narcissist, but I just think it's hilarious going on YouTube and seeing these covers. There are so many of them - literally hundreds! It's flattering.
Charles Kelley
#86. All I can say is I've been reading the lips of bleeped-out words, angry baseball players, and stoned-out rock stars on awards shows for years and it's been hilarious. Everyone is always asking me what the bleeped-out parts are saying.
Marlee Matlin
#87. I think our collective psychosis is hilarious. With the world moving as fast as it is, if we weren't dysfunctional, we couldn't function.
Christopher Titus
#88. I think there's something very lovely and hilarious about exploring the particular neuroses of the female mind. It's just not the same thing with men. I mean, there are exceptions, but for the most part, women beat themselves up in their heads more. They overanalyze stuff far more than men do.
Lizzy Caplan
#89. Working on 'Parks' was like heaven because everyone there was just intimidatingly intelligent and funny, and we would have these hilarious debates about really tangential things. It was inspiring because I felt really challenged to be my best.
Chelsea Peretti
#90. There are people who think the film 'This Is Spinal Tap' is simply a very funny 'mockumentary.' Well, with Yes, we lived it. Take the hilarious scene in the film in which the bass player is trapped in a giant pod - that actually happened to Alan one night.
Rick Wakeman
#91. I won't lie to you - it was hilarious. Yes, we were in trouble, yes, this was a disaster, and so one and so forth, but I have to say, seeing those upturned faces, the looks, was bout the best thing that happened to us since we'd come to New York.
James Patterson
#92. Life's funny that way, kind of like a dad who thinks it's hilarious to tie his kid up in a dark closet and leave him there for the weekend. Yeah,
Patrick Thomas
#93. I like L.A. It's like a mini break. For a writer, it's hilarious. Like the food. Where I come from, we eat chip sandwiches: white bread, butter, tomato catsup and big fat french fries. It's delicious. Here, you order a creme caramel and the waiter says, 'You know, that contains dairy.'
Helen Fielding
#94. It's funny to me because everyone says I'm injury prone. That's hilarious to me because I've never blown a hammy or a shoulder or anything like that, knock on wood.
Bryce Harper
#95. The notion that it's too late to do anything is comical. It's hilarious.
Marina Keegan
#96. It me birthday and nobody came ... Bigfoot decide do something nice for self for big day and sneak in they house at night and pick out own present and blow out flickering candle of life in they brains. Make a wish, jerks.
Graham Roumieu
#97. I want the 'Roots' biopic to be animated - I see Charles Schulz drawing us. I think it would be more hilarious with the voices of children.
Questlove
#98. It's always funny until someone gets hurt.
Then it's just hilarious.
Bill Hicks
#99. One of my favorite comedy performances of all time is Charles Grodin in 'Midnight Run,' and in a lot of things he's done. I think he's hilarious as the straight man, playing it real.
Andy Daly
#100. One lion thinks it's just hilarious to tackle us. He's very funny about it ... and we always know when it will happen.
Tippi Hedren
