Top 100 In Jokes Quotes

#1. I always like to think I build in historically accurate musical in-jokes that are so precise that like maybe there's 7 or 8 people in the world watching the show that will sit up and go, "Oh my God the music being played is the right kind of music!"

Bear McCreary

In Jokes Quotes #63143
#2. I still feel threatened by academics, but my books have a lot of academic in-jokes and everybody assumes I went to university and studied English.

Jasper Fforde

In Jokes Quotes #394005
#3. I really wouldn't censor myself. But because it was on such a slower scale, I would throw things out, and I indulged the personal stuff as little flashes of truth. Little in-jokes for anyone who was paying particular attention.

John Hodgman

In Jokes Quotes #540477
#4. I keep to a minimum dialect, in-jokes about football (soccer) teams and soap opera characters, so as not to lose North American readers.

Peter Robinson

In Jokes Quotes #847973
#5. A short cut to matrimonial unhappiness is not to have the same taste in jokes!

Margaret Deland

In Jokes Quotes #935227
#6. I love the idea that we put in jokes the kids don't get. And that later, when they grow up and read a few books and go to college and watch the show again, they can get it on a completely different level.

Matt Groening

In Jokes Quotes #1360164
#7. A difference of taste in jokes, is a great strain on the affections.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

In Jokes Quotes #1584028
#8. Standing as a witness in all things means all things - big things, little things, in all conversations, in jokes, in games played and books read and music listened to, in causes supported, in service rendered, in clothes worn, in friends made.

Margaret D. Nadauld

In Jokes Quotes #1646676
#9. What makes a good animated movie is being able to balance adult and knowing in-jokes and also just out and out funny things that make all people laugh. The idea that it's actually something that will appeal to a family, that's the trick.

Benedict Cumberbatch

In Jokes Quotes #1789849
#10. Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred 'Chuckles' Jenkins, Britain's oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred's jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

Ronnie Barker

In Jokes Quotes #4443
#11. There was a sea of change in comedy in the late 1950s and '60s. We were dealing with vignettes as opposed to jokes. We were more socially aware.

Bob Newhart

In Jokes Quotes #15040
#12. Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.

Jack Whitehall

In Jokes Quotes #19705
#13. Patriotism is a joke in the UK.

Matt Tong

In Jokes Quotes #30780
#14. I was never able to analyze my own performance that way I can now. I've realized why certain actors work. I think I'm very in control of what I do in there now. I know how to listen, how to make it real and how not to go to jokes, but to go for a sense of reality.

Steve Dildarian

In Jokes Quotes #34759
#15. Nurse: "You look like a pharmaceutical rep. you can leave samples in the closet."
Joe: "I'm actually a lawyer."
Nurse: "My condolences.

Jodi Picoult

In Jokes Quotes #38014
#16. There were some particular themes that I knew I wanted to hit, and when I got deeper into the project I found that it was becoming serious in and on its own. By the end, it's not very funny at all. I think, now, that part of the power of the book is that the jokes are kind of sparkly distractions.

Moshe Kasher

In Jokes Quotes #45471
#17. I certainly got the jokes within the joke, dressing up in a wet suit, sitting in a Twingo, scaling a rubber mountain, dressing up and stealing a diamond, of course. If not now, when?

Pierce Brosnan

In Jokes Quotes #46802
#18. Before doing my first open mic, I was sitting in the back watching all these comedians banter back and forth and fire jokes and up each other, and I thought, 'This is where I wanna be.'

Patton Oswalt

In Jokes Quotes #51581
#19. Arguing with a lawyer is not the hardest thing in the world; not arguing is.

Raheel Farooq

In Jokes Quotes #52739
#20. If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand my jokes.

Rebecca West

In Jokes Quotes #54435
#21. Vor stared for a moment at his own reflection in the familiar mirrored face, remembering some of the stupid jokes his friend had told and the innovative military games they had played together. Seurat had never harmed him in any way.

Brian Herbert

In Jokes Quotes #55357
#22. In Bengal, Hindus are known to crack jokes at the expense of their gods and goddesses and that's what I did.

Sunil Gangopadhyay

In Jokes Quotes #57047
#23. I grew up in the projects. You have no choice but to fight. My jokes used to get me in fights.

Marlon Wayans

In Jokes Quotes #57464
#24. Indeed, the first thing you might learn, in considering jokes, is that Marcel Duchamp's urinal was one - quite a good one the first time around, corny by mid-twentieth century, and downright stupid today.

Roger Scruton

In Jokes Quotes #58227
#25. Plato was only a Bernard Shaw who unfortunately made his jokes in Greek.

Gilbert K. Chesterton

In Jokes Quotes #59870
#26. I think I realized that Dave Barry was funnier than I'll ever be, and he made no attempt to make any actual points. He had a general libertarian point of view, but in general, he just liked to make jokes.

Joel Stein

In Jokes Quotes #85102
#27. In all the works on pedagogy that ever I read - and they have been many, big, and heavy - I don't remember that any one has advocated a system of teaching by practical jokes, mostly cruel. That, however, describes the method of our great teacher, Experience.

Charles Sanders Peirce

In Jokes Quotes #91322
#28. One of the great jokes of life is that by the time you're old enough to recognize how little you know, all you can do is mop up the aftermath, dump it in a giant personal hazmat container and move on.

Virginia DeBerry

In Jokes Quotes #98072
#29. Woody Allen - nobody has been a better joke teller than him - and even in his great films, it's always coming out of the character. If you don't have that, jokes are just empty and I think that people rely too much on jokes.

Brett Gelman

In Jokes Quotes #98669
#30. I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman ... come in the guise of a comic ... to heal perception by using ... 'jokes' ...

Bill Hicks

In Jokes Quotes #106587
#31. Everybody that's living in this earth is living in a situation. It's not narrow-minded to the point where everybody is serious and nobody has a personality. I think people die telling jokes.

Mike Epps

In Jokes Quotes #106989
#32. My locker room is serious. It is quiet. No one smiles. I don't like people telling jokes in my locker room. Now is not a time to tell jokes. From the minute we leave my hotel room, do not fuck around. The time for fucking around is over. Some serious shit is about to happen.

Ronda Rousey

In Jokes Quotes #108253
#33. We should have stories in common, I found myself thinking. We should have stories, and jokes no one understands, and memories that we know will stay alive because neither of us will let the other forget.

Kamila Shamsie

In Jokes Quotes #121796
#34. I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.

Jim Gaffigan

In Jokes Quotes #122366
#35. When I'm playing comedy, I never do 'jokes.' Sometimes I'll deliver a line in a way I think is more likely to get a laugh, but all the best comedy is played straight. What's funny is the way it hits the world around it or the way it hits the other characters.

Bruce McGill

In Jokes Quotes #123227
#36. Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humour is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

Frank Muir

In Jokes Quotes #123651
#37. They have what you call a black night where they have black people come in for just one night only to watch comedy, and you get all your local drug dealers, thugs, prostitutes, all of them come in, sit down, and listen to you tell jokes. They the hardest people to make laugh.

Mike Epps

In Jokes Quotes #126062
#38. I had some jokes that were dirty. And some of it is when I started making appearances on Conan and Letterman back in the late '90s, I think. You had to remove the curse words, or you couldn't do some of the more explicit jokes.

Jim Gaffigan

In Jokes Quotes #128220
#39. It wasn't that funny, but I laughed. There wouldn't be much laughter in the world if people didn't like each other, because there sure as shit aren't that many good jokes.

John Barnes

In Jokes Quotes #128696
#40. I might appear confident and chatty, but I spend most of my time laughing at jokes I don't find funny, saying things I don't really mean - because at the end of the day that's what we're all trying to do: fit in, one way or another, desperately trying to pretend we're all the same.

Tabitha Suzuma

In Jokes Quotes #129646
#41. It's mandatory in this day and age to be considered to have a sense of humor and to demonstrate it. You're not paying me for a joke, You're paying me for the right joke.

Robert Orben

In Jokes Quotes #131123
#42. The preacher who jests and jokes with his people all week will soon find that he cannot stand in his pulpit on Sunday with power to reprove, rebuke and exhort. He may be the life of the party but it will be the death of the prophet.

Vance Havner

In Jokes Quotes #135580
#43. I think I was a behavior problem, mostly, but in a fun way. I tried to tell jokes. I was the middle kid, so I was always looking for attention and trying to be the one that equalized everything.

Timothy Simons

In Jokes Quotes #136674
#44. No matter what you say while in the hospital, doctors won't laugh at your jokes.

Hope Jahren

In Jokes Quotes #136740
#45. Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get there. Not one comedian in the world ever really knows.

Emo Philips

In Jokes Quotes #149154
#46. Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives.

Robert Collier

In Jokes Quotes #154059
#47. I'm one of the most insecure people in the world, always have been, and when you're a fat kid, you try to make the fat jokes before other people make them.

Stephen Furst

In Jokes Quotes #155973
#48. I'm probably going to get in trouble for this but 'American Dad' is one of my favourite shows. It gets very dark in places but the jokes are there.

Donald Glover

In Jokes Quotes #162760
#49. Anybody can make jokes. But unless they come from conviction, and there's truth in them, you haven't nailed it. They aren't as funny as they could be, and they don't make a point.

Dan Jenkins

In Jokes Quotes #163843
#50. When you're an older woman [in a movie], you are the brunt of the joke.

Jane Fonda

In Jokes Quotes #167442
#51. I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they're really about me; they're my stories.

Louie Anderson

In Jokes Quotes #167873
#52. I'm always looking for what's something that Bradley Whitford's character can say that is completely outrageous and completely wrong, but in a double-reverse way is actually totally right. I don't really like where there's a story and you lay a few jokes on top of it.

Matt Nix

In Jokes Quotes #173595
#53. I seem to get into situations that make people laugh, but I don't consider myself that funny of a person. I'm not witty. I'm kind of slow in conversations. I'm not that articulate with jokes. The first time I made stuff and screened it for an audience, I was surprised what people were laughing at.

Nathan Fielder

In Jokes Quotes #183252
#54. I think my one of my strengths in standup is my ability to adlib. I do all my best writing on stage. I can sit down and write jokes, but I'd rather go on stage with a premise or an idea and let the jokes come that way. My creative juices are never flowing any better than when I'm onstage.

Henry Cho

In Jokes Quotes #190414
#55. I was one of those kids who liked a lot of attention. I was always the kid in class who'd be telling jokes and getting in trouble. Theater was a natural way for me to channel that and also become a productive member of society.

Lauren Worsham

In Jokes Quotes #193068
#56. I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families.

Maria Shriver

In Jokes Quotes #199063
#57. In my early writing, all of my characters were exactly the same person. They all spoke the same, made the same types of jokes, reacted the same, etc. I think they were all just me in disguise.

James Dashner

In Jokes Quotes #213368
#58. I write in reverse: Rather than come up with a narrative and write jokes for that narrative, I write jokes independently of the narrative, then I try to fit them in.

Jeff Kinney

In Jokes Quotes #221298
#59. I'm kind of a rebound junkie. So. when a relationship goes sour, I look at the sweetness in life elsewhere. So, I date a bit. The best catharsis is to write jokes and tell 4,000 people about it.

Vir Das

In Jokes Quotes #226226
#60. Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes.

Charles Bukowski

In Jokes Quotes #227996
#61. Everything we do means something, Ender realized. Them laughing. Me not laughing. He toyed with the idea of trying to be like the other boys. But he couldn't think of any jokes, and none of theirs seemed funny. Wherever their laughter came from, Ender couldn't find such a place in himself.

Orson Scott Card

In Jokes Quotes #231147
#62. You should put it on your business cards - Tom Paretski, the pocket-sized plumber. No job too small."
"Again with the height jokes. What do you have on yours? Phil Morrison, the muscle-bound moron?"
"Now, come on - that's poor effort. How about Private Dick - the biggest in the business?"

J.L. Merrow

In Jokes Quotes #243717
#63. If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in some ways. Writing and performing jokes that can come out of that brilliant delivery system he constructed: the friendly, avuncular truth-teller.

Val Kilmer

In Jokes Quotes #244300
#64. I had a dream about you last night... we tried to joke but neither could make any sense. We realized that puns are present in every language, though not shared by any of them.

Marshall Ramsay

In Jokes Quotes #247135
#65. That line again. For Ian, a joke was not a single-use item but something you brought out again and again until it fell apart in your hands like a cheap umbrella.

David Nicholls

In Jokes Quotes #256013
#66. Half of the time I don't know what they're talking about; their jokes seem to relate to a past that everyone but me has shared. I'm a foreigner in the world and I don't understand the language.

Jean Webster

In Jokes Quotes #263888
#67. Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large leather notebook and delighted in re-telling most of them to his friends.

Richard Overy

In Jokes Quotes #268237
#68. She knew far too much about him. She knew everything. Like how the royal ladies-in-waiting swapped bawdy jokes about the sad size of the duke's scepter.

Lauren Kate

In Jokes Quotes #279313
#69. Then Alec had smiled at one of Magnus's jokes, and the smile had lit a lamp in his solemn face, making his blue eyes brilliant, and briefly taking Magnus's breath away

Cassandra Clare

In Jokes Quotes #283259
#70. I have a lot of people in my life who are truly ridiculous characters, and they're very, very funny people, but they don't really try to be. They're not cracking jokes.

Emile Hirsch

In Jokes Quotes #289916
#71. Seinfeld has his way of telling jokes - and I'm not comparing myself to Seinfeld, his genius is observing the small details of everyday life and finding humor in it.

Nick Kroll

In Jokes Quotes #290801
#72. Pointing out the emotion in a scene is like laughing at your own jokes.

Diana Gabaldon

In Jokes Quotes #292401
#73. The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes in their repertoire have application.

Joseph Epstein

In Jokes Quotes #293143
#74. We've got people looking at our seamy side and our sad side a lot of the time because that's easier. It's much more difficult to make a film about happiness with lots of jokes in it.

Emma Thompson

In Jokes Quotes #299115
#75. And keep a sense of humor. It doesn't mean you have to tell jokes. If you can't think of anything else, when you're my age, take off your clothes and walk in front of a mirror. I guarantee you'll get a laugh.

Art Linkletter

In Jokes Quotes #299338
#76. Having less worries is what allows me to talk to beggars in the street or tell jokes at waitresses and try to make them smile. I couldn't do that before, when I had a job and was always worried about money.

Robin Sacredfire

In Jokes Quotes #300668
#77. Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's it.

Dustin Diamond

In Jokes Quotes #302076
#78. The most fun I ever have is sitting in with Rick writing, and we laugh at our own jokes.

Adrian Edmondson

In Jokes Quotes #303776
#79. I like to have my characters talking in an up-to-date way, and I like their essentially modern self-awareness, which means we can have lots of irony and jokes.

Jonathan Stroud

In Jokes Quotes #305675
#80. When he wasn't making quirky jokes about his mother like this - it happened more than once - he mainly spoke at me, about his job and about his band, Jettisoned Airplane, an electronic music duo, which had been formed in March, inspired by the plane that had gone missing and not yet been found.

Olivia Sudjic

In Jokes Quotes #307500
#81. There are passages of the Bible that are soiled forever by the touches of the hands of ministers who delight in the cheap jokes they have left behind them.

Phillips Brooks

In Jokes Quotes #309859
#82. Men propound mathematical theorems in besieged cities, conduct metaphysical arguments in condemned cells, make jokes on the scaffold, discuss a new poem while advancing to the walls of Quebec, and comb their hair at Thermopylae. This is not panache; it is our nature.

C.S. Lewis

In Jokes Quotes #317300
#83. My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.

Woody Allen

In Jokes Quotes #321839
#84. I'm sure we, the American people, are the butt of jokes by those in power.

Alice Walker

In Jokes Quotes #328453
#85. Magic is an exercise of a pattern of thought (sometimes represented by a gesture, ritual, or the calling of a true name) that results in manifestation/s. But these patterns of thought can have so much to do with whimsy that magic often is jokes.

Helen Oyeyemi

In Jokes Quotes #337184
#86. I used to have a group called Bad-Movie Saturday. Every Saturday, six of us would go see the worst movie that came out each weekend. It'd be noon in Burbank. It was just a running commentary. All executives - we would each talk through the movie and make jokes.

Jason Reitman

In Jokes Quotes #343592
#87. If you didn't believe in objective truth, arguments would be just toys, or games, or jokes.

Peter Kreeft

In Jokes Quotes #346599
#88. Why was the meeting between the Americans and the Russians so tensed?
Because nobody knows what Vladimir Put In Barbara's Bush!
From 'Walk On By II

Stephan Attia

In Jokes Quotes #351674
#89. I think I have a reputation for being really serious. In interviews I use big words, but I'm just an emotional goofball. I play practical jokes all the time.

Darren Hayes

In Jokes Quotes #353661
#90. Lori sat way back in her chair and gave him the once-over. What in the world's gotten into Ben Lawson? jokes? Flirting? Maybe I should sleep with Molly. I think she's got a magic hooha.

Victoria Dahl

In Jokes Quotes #354610
#91. Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.

Garrison Keillor

In Jokes Quotes #360429
#92. On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.'

Jimmy Fallon

In Jokes Quotes #361911
#93. Garry Shandling is someone I've publicly gone gay for, for jokes. Oh and anyone in the Twilight movies. I don't know any of their names, but all of them. The wolves, the vampires? They're all fantastic.

David Duchovny

In Jokes Quotes #364180
#94. As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking.

Mike Colter

In Jokes Quotes #371229
#95. He had a curiously stunted sense of humor and loved practical jokes that veered dangerously close to cruelty. Once on a hot day he filled a friend's water jug with kerosene and mirthfully stood by as the friend took a mighty swig. The friend ended up in the hospital.

Bill Bryson

In Jokes Quotes #372959
#96. One of the greatest gifts in this world is the ability to make others smile. - The Unauthorized Autobiography of Jonathan Fisher

J.E.B. Spredemann

In Jokes Quotes #382284
#97. I take a lot of pride in managing to be funny without having a victim at the end of my joke. I laugh at a really dark joke as much as the next person, but my jokes, I feel, don't have to hurt anybody to be really funny.

Ross Mathews

In Jokes Quotes #384317
#98. Believe it or not, I write on stage. I can't write anywhere else; I have to be in a moment. I also have to challenge myself to make something funny out of a premise. I never have my own jokes written. I have to change things as I go along, and I have to entertain myself.

J. B. Smoove

In Jokes Quotes #385146
#99. Not everyone gets jokes. But to many jokes in one time are never good idea!

Deyth Banger

In Jokes Quotes #388767
#100. I thought everybody was in on the joke. But I was the joke.

Billie Joe Armstrong

In Jokes Quotes #405314

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