Top 100 Jasper Fforde Quotes
#1. Humans are the most gloriously bizarre creatures.
Jasper Fforde
#2. The government was to raise the duty on cheese to 83 percent, an unpopular move that would doubtless have the more militant citizens picketing cheese shops.
Jasper Fforde
#3. Try to be pleasant to one another, get plenty of fresh air, read a good book now and then, depose your government when it suspends the free press, try to use the mechanism of the state to adjudicate fairly and employ diplomatic means wherever possible to avoid armed conflict.
Jasper Fforde
#4. Believe me, you're going to have to do much worse than this
in the pursuit of freedom, the innocents will suffer
and at your hands.
Jasper Fforde
#5. Once we were on the high Plynlimon pass, we stopped to stretch our legs, change drivers, and make a short devotion to the shrine dedicated to the once-popular but now little-known Saint Aosbczkcs, the Patron Saint of Fading Relevance.
Jasper Fforde
#6. Do you want some advice? Go home. You're far too inquisitive, and here in East Carmine curiosity only ends one way."
"Death?"
"Worse - enlightenment.
Jasper Fforde
#7. Love and magic are like oil and water
they just don't mix.
Jasper Fforde
#8. Governments might come and go, wars will reshape the Ununited Kingdoms many times. But companies will stay, and flourish. Show me any major even on this planet and I will show you the economic reason behind it. Commerce is all powerful, Miss Strange. Commerce rules our lives.
Jasper Fforde
#9. I hate to admit it, but governmental deviousness is usually better explained by incompetence, vanity, and the need to protect one's job at all costs.
Jasper Fforde
#10. Information can liberate but also imprisonate.
Jasper Fforde
#11. Everything comes to an end. A good bottle of wine, a summer's day, a long-running sitcom, one's life, and eventually our species. The question for many of us is not that everything will come to an end but when. And can we do anything vaguely useful until it does?
Jasper Fforde
#13. Librarying is a harder profession than the public realizes, he said. People think it's all rubber stamps, knowing that Dewey 521 is celestial mechanics and saying 'Try looking under fiction' sixty eight times a day.
Jasper Fforde
#14. I think Wordsworth was as surprised to see me as I was him. It can't be usual to go to your favorite memory only to find someone already there, admiring the view ahead of you.
Jasper Fforde
#15. Writing needs to be practiced; there is a limit to how much can be gleaned from a teacher or a manual. The true essence of writing is out there, in the world, and inside, within yourself. To write, you have to give.
Jasper Fforde
#16. He spent his life immersed in books to the cost of everything else, even personal relationships. "Friends," he'd once said, "are probably great, but I have forty thousands friends of my own already, and each of them needs my attention.
Jasper Fforde
#17. We were developing a machine that used egg white, heat and sugar to synthesize methanol when a power surge caused an implosion. Owens was meringued. By the time we chipped him out the poor chap had expired.
Jasper Fforde
#18. Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.
Jasper Fforde
#19. You like economics, don't you?' I asked.
'Everyone should know the basics,' said the Princess. 'Lasting peace will only be brought about through economic means - we should be trading with the Trolls rather than fighting them.
Jasper Fforde
#20. According to naturalists, the dragon belonged to the animal kingdom for sure, almost definitely to the vertebrates, and was as likely as not a reptile. Other
Jasper Fforde
#21. I have a very varied taste in music. Everything from rap to classical to Latino to Rat Pack to jazz.
Jasper Fforde
#22. I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.
Jasper Fforde
#23. Any word with the our ending could be spelt or, don'tchaknow." "Like neighbor instead of neighbour?" "It's a good idea," put in Snell. "Labor, valor, flavor, harbor - there must be hundreds. If we confine it to one geographical area, we can claim it as a local spelling idiosyncrasy.
Jasper Fforde
#24. I am boring, but I'm ok with it. I'm the anchor, the shoulder ... I'm an average man ... with a truly extraordinary wife
Jasper Fforde
#25. It has been long proved that everyone needs a butler.
Jasper Fforde
#26. Have you ever wondered how nostalgia isnt what it used to be?
Jasper Fforde
#27. You are the best, most loving, supportive family anyone could ever have," I said through my sobs. "I'm so sorry if I'm a burden."
They all told me not to be so bloody silly, I told them not to swear, and Landen gave me a handkerchief for my tears.
Jasper Fforde
#28. Mr. McGregor's a nasty piece of work, isn't he? Quite the Darth Vader of children's literature.
Jasper Fforde
#29. Don't let anyone tell you the future is already written. The best any prophet can do is to give you the most likely version of future events. It is up to us to accept the future for what it is, or change it. It is easy to go with the flow; it takes a person of singular courage to go against it.
Jasper Fforde
#30. Truly competent Literary Detectives are as rare as truthful men, Mr. Tweed
you can see her potential as clearly as I can. Frightened of someone stealing your thunder, perhaps?
Jasper Fforde
#31. The fun one can have writing books about books is limitless, to be honest.
Jasper Fforde
#32. Were you listening to a word I said '
'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.
Jasper Fforde
#33. In fact, the room was so quiet you might have heard a drop of paint splash.
Jasper Fforde
#34. Scientific thought - indeed, any mode of thought, whether it be religious or philosophical or anything else - is just like the fashions that we wear - only much longer lived. It's a little like a boy band.
Jasper Fforde
#35. She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered just beneath the surface. More than anything, within her features, there was a streak of wild quirkiness that made her dazzlingly attractive.
Jasper Fforde
#36. Speak to any editor and ask them what they turned down, and they'll have long lists of books.
Jasper Fforde
#37. Writing is a subtle art that is reached mostly by self-discovery and experimentation.
Jasper Fforde
#38. I'm sure it's not all hot buttered crumpets out there in the breathing world of asphalt and heartbeats.
Jasper Fforde
#39. If you even think about asking Harry Potter for an autograph, your day ends right now.
Jasper Fforde
#40. So my humor, I'd say, comes from a mixture of lowbrow comedy shows and highbrow theater. It's an interesting mix.
Jasper Fforde
#41. Magic is the fifth fundamental force and is even more mysterious than gravity, which is really saying something.
Jasper Fforde
#43. He shook his head, looked around carefully and then lowered his voice. "Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then - and this is the important bit - do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies." "Thanks,
Jasper Fforde
#44. Keep people reading books, Mum; it helps to reinforce and strengthen the indefinable moments that anchor us in the here and now. Strive for the long now.
Jasper Fforde
#45. Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.
Jasper Fforde
#46. So you're going to have to ask yourselves on simple question: Which one of us is speaking now?
Jasper Fforde
#47. There's something rotten in the state of Denmark, and Hamlet says ... it's payback time!
Jasper Fforde
#49. Perhaps it was as well that she had been unconscious for four weeks. She had missed the aftermath, the SO-1 reports, the recriminations, Snood and Tamworth's funerals. She missed everything ... except the blame. It was waiting for her when she awoke ...
Jasper Fforde
#51. Always expect a kick in the teeth," said Millon, "so that when you get a slap in the chops, it seems like a triumph.
Jasper Fforde
#52. I loved him, officer. More than any woman ever loved an egg.
Jasper Fforde
#53. Working with those versed in the Mystical Arts was sometimes like trying to knit with wet spaghetti: just when you thought you'd gotten somewhere, it all came to pieces in your hands.
Jasper Fforde
#54. People don't change just because you know more about them.
Jasper Fforde
#55. The name is Schitt," he replied. "Jack Schitt.
Jasper Fforde
#56. What is without dispute ... is that the readers need [the BookWorld] just as much as we need them - to bring order to their apparent chaos, if nothing else.
Jasper Fforde
#57. Her areas of expertise are bar codes, book titles and maps - she has an original Parker Brothers map of the world.
Jasper Fforde
#58. Shall I kill him?" said the princess after a pause. "My father insisted that I be trained in the art of silent assassination just in case.
Jasper Fforde
#59. For an author just starting out, you've got to deliver the goods every year or sooner or people will forget you or you will lose momentum. There is a contract that exists between author and reader.
Jasper Fforde
#60. Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer then you are obviously asking the wrong question.
Jasper Fforde
#61. Curiosity is a descending stair ... that leads to only who-knows-where.
Jasper Fforde
#62. ...a standing ovation from five-year-olds is not to be sniffed at.
Jasper Fforde
#63. If we didn't execute bankers and rogue traders found guilty of financial mischief, it might give them the clear signal that it's actually okay, and then where would we be?
Jasper Fforde
#64. He had found that all snails have the capacity to do over one hundred miles per hour and find their way to a given location with pinpoint accuracy, but didn't because they were horribly lazy and couldn't be bothered.
Jasper Fforde
#66. Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.
Jasper Fforde
#67. What is there to forgive? ... Ignore forgive and concentrate on living. Life for you is short; far too short to allow small jealousies to infringe on the happiness which can be yours only for the briefest of times.
Jasper Fforde
#68. Sorry," [Hamlet] said, rubbing his temples. "I don't know what came over me. All of a sudden I had this overwhelming desire to talk for a very long time without actually doing anything.
Jasper Fforde
#69. I was in '78 recently," he announced. "I brought you this."
He handed me a single by the Beatles. I didn't recognize the title.
"Didn't they split in '70?"
"Not always. How are things?
Jasper Fforde
#70. Though his death would not fill me with any sense of sadness, I would probably feel the loss. Even enemies are part of one.
Jasper Fforde
#71. Sometimes choice is a luxury that fate does not afford us.
Jasper Fforde
#72. Death and the end of one's life are two very different things indeed.
Jasper Fforde
#73. There is no point in expending good money on the pursuit of an engine that can power aircraft without propellers. What is wrong with airships anyway? They have borne mankind aloft for over a hundred relatively accident-free years and I see no reason to impugn their popularity ...
Jasper Fforde
#74. I don't need you to agree with me," she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt. Doubt is good. It's an emotion we can build on. Perhaps if we feed it with curiosity it will blossom into something useful, like suspicion - and action.
Jasper Fforde
#75. Tangling with the Goliath Corporation generally left you in one of two places: inside a wooden box with a grieving family outside, or inside a wooden box under six foot of soil with family wondering where you were. The former was if they didn't hold a grudge.
Jasper Fforde
#76. The circumstances of confusion will be your path to enlightenment' - Thursday Next
Jasper Fforde
#77. My temper began to rise
always a bad sign. I would probably end up doing something stupid.
Jasper Fforde
#78. Perhaps fantasy offers imaginative escapism more than other genres.
Jasper Fforde
#79. You don't like me do you?'
'That would take effort,' she replied. 'Indifference is much, much easier.
Jasper Fforde
#80. Extraordinary; I could almost see the Cambrian Mountains
Jasper Fforde
#81. If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.
Jasper Fforde
#82. That's the thing about destiny: It can't be predicted, and it's usually pretty odd.
Jasper Fforde
#83. DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the better of you, stand up straight and say to yourself in an imperious air, 'I am the new Mrs. de Winter now!' You'll find it works wonders.
Jasper Fforde
#84. The trip back home was uneventful and over in only twelve words.
Jasper Fforde
#85. O brave new world, that has such stories in't!
Jasper Fforde
#86. Take no heed of her," explained Jones apologetically. "She reads a lot of books.
Jasper Fforde
#87. Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.
Jasper Fforde
#88. Anything devised by man has bureaucracy, corrpution and error hardwired at inception.
Jasper Fforde
#91. Never underestimate the capacity for romance, no matter what the circumstances.
Jasper Fforde
#92. If this were a novel, you'd have to start a new chapter as soon as I appeared.
Jasper Fforde
#93. I just write books, and I do it without any notion of what I should do or shouldn't do.
Jasper Fforde
#94. Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.
Jasper Fforde
#95. I had learned from my own father's death many years ago that the end of one's life and dying are two very different things indeed, and took solace in that.
Jasper Fforde
#96. The actor in with them was Graham Huxtable. He was putting on a felonious one-man performance of Twelfth Night. Persistent offender. He'll be fined and bound over. His Malvolio is truly frightful.
Jasper Fforde
#97. The Fringes are the place of the slack-willed, slack-jawed and slack-hued, remarked Floyd Pinken, who could comfortably boast all three of those attributes, if truth be known.
Jasper Fforde
#98. The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.
Jasper Fforde
#99. Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well ... they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones.
Jasper Fforde
#100. Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.
Jasper Fforde
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