Top 100 Goats'll Quotes
#1. Goat tongue is a gift, you got it from the day you're borned or you ain't got it. If you got it, goats'll heed your say-so, if you ain't, they'll jus' trample you muddy an' stand there scornin'.
David Mitchell
#2. What kind of sigh was that? Peril wondered. Was it an "I wish I were alone with Peril" sigh? Or a "worried about my students" sigh? Knowing Clay, it could also be a "we're all out of goats and I really wanted one" sigh.
Tui T. Sutherland
#3. {She] ain't got the sense God gave a goat.
Pam Hillman
#4. Course, mountains serve as homes to mountain goats and mountain lions, who enjoy attacking helpless picnickers and eating sandwiches or children. So
Lemony Snicket
#5. The old fellow seemed to spot deceit as if it reeked like a goat.
Margery Allingham
#6. If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.
Dov Davidoff
#7. People here will date goats. But no one wants to date a goat wearing Google glass.
Kara Swisher
#9. Goats did have names for themselves, she well knew: there was 'goat who is my kid,' 'goat who is my mother,' 'goat who is herd leader,' and half a dozen other names not least of which was 'goat who is this goat.
Terry Pratchett
#10. The goat's business is none of the sheep's concern.
Edna Ferber
#11. I have been tight as a tick! Fried as a mink! Stiff as a goat!
Tallulah Bankhead
#12. There's a reason why movie theatres don't encourage people to bring their goats.
Kelly Link
#13. As he drank, little brown drops of coffee clung to his mustache like dew. Men will live like billy goats if they are let alone.
Charles Portis
#14. What is that mountain goat doing way up here in the clouds?
Gary Larson
#15. Pardon me, but my father says that it is a lie that Americans have everything. You have no sheep, no goats, no trees, no oil, no vines, no wine, not even chickens. He asks, 'What kind of life is that?' He says, 'No wonder you don't sing or dance or recite poetry very often.
Robert Fulghum
#16. When a goat likes a book, the whole book is gone,
and the meaning has to go find an author again.
- The Trouble With Reading
William Stafford
#17. You can't ride home on a bowl of goat.
Ron White
#18. Little redcape," he snarled, "when next you bare steel on Shagga son of Dolf, I will chop off your manhood and roast it in the fire."
"What, no goats?" Tyrion said, taking a bite of his cheese.
George R R Martin
#19. I'm for traditional marriage, mostly because I want to know how many goats I'm worth.
Sabrina Zbasnik
#20. Oh, just you wait. I'll have, like Great Danes and pygmy goats and maybe even a baby panda living with me. That is what panic does to people if the attacks get bad enough.
E. Lockhart
#21. Milk is for babies. Human beings are the only species that drinks milk into adulthood and besides that we prefer to drink the milk of another species (enslaved cows and goats), and we have come to consider it normal when, it is actually a pretty perverse form of sexual abuse!
Sharon Gannon
#22. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire'and the computer will say, 'Specify type of goat.'
Richard Jeni
#23. I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven.
Satchel Paige
#25. I don't need to kill goats to say things. I CAN talk.
L.J.Smith
#26. My goats are not contemplative, accepting, or introspective. They are the Greek chorus of my farm, sometimes of my life. They watch me closely and remind me that I am foolish.
Jon Katz
#27. Anne is quite the animal lover," Fang said to me as we followed Angel. "Horses, sheep, goats. Chickens. Pigs." "Yeah," I said. "I wonder who's for dinner?
James Patterson
#28. The pupil of a goat's eye is elongate like a cat's, but if you look closely you'll see that it's in the horizontal position, and if you look closer still you'll see that it's less gracefully shaped, more of a ragged slot, dirty yellow. And you'll see that the white of a goat's eye is all black.
Eugene Marten
#29. You three looking for something specific?" Her voice was surprisingly melodious.
"Any sacrificial knives?" Hi raised an index finger. "Nothing too fancy, and I'll need a no-slip grip. Me and the coven have some goats lined up for Saturday's bonfire."
I could've kicked him. I think I tried.
Kathy Reichs
#30. Throughout his twenty-eight years on the island, goats are as wild as it gets.
Richard T. Nash
#31. The e-reader certainly sorts out the sheep from the goats, and divides those who need to read from those who like to turn the pages.
Margaret Drabble
#32. I saw goats. A party can't be all bad when you have goats," Lucy said.
Mary Jane Hathaway
#34. Goats," said Maxwell Hyde, "are a special case. Mad as hatters, all of them.
Diana Wynne Jones
#35. The prime minister is 12 years old. She looks after 20 goats in the morning, but she's prime minister in the evening.
Bunker Roy
#36. Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?
L.J.Smith
#37. I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
Elton John
#39. On the hinder slope of the hill two little goatherds are tending a flock of goats; one of them is sitting on a rock whittling a crook out of ash, while the other is trying to coax a few tweets out of a reed flute.
Camilo Jose Cela
#40. One has fear in front of a goat, in back of a mule, and on every side of a fool
E.W. Howe
#41. Never before had she seen such creatures, though they looked much live very large, very shaggy white goats. Thin black horns punctuated the top of their long faces.
You look like a collection of grandfathers, she thought, amused.
Tamora Pierce
#42. Goat screaming videos are hilarious.
Miguel
#43. Shagga, cut off his manhood and feed it to the goats." Shagga hefted the huge double-bladed axe. "There are no goats, Halfman." "Make do.
George R R Martin
#44. We need our goats!" I yelled.
I waded through the crowd until I reached our chariot. I grabbed Otis's face and pressed my forehead against his.
"Testing," I whispered. "Is this goat on? Thor, can you hear me?"
"You have beautiful eyes," Otis told me.
Rick Riordan
#45. I'm tired and it's taking an increasing amount out of me, more than I have to give physically. And that's why I want to move to Sicily and buy that little farm and raise a flock of goats and geese. I find it peaceful ... and it would be a nice way to end life.
Tennessee Williams
#46. Dogs and other animals - goats, donkeys, cows, a grumpy rooster - continue to change my writing life.
Jon Katz
#47. So many have the same premise: once upon a time, there were three. Three of something: three pigs, three bears, three brothers, three soldiers, three billy goats. Three princesses.
E. Lockhart
#48. For one thing, everyone there is so clever. Do they think me dull?
Perhaps I should assure them that our goats enjoyed listening to me for hours on end. I am certain their bleats meant "Do go on, Miri, darling. You are immensely entertaining."
Your immensely entertaining sister,
Miri
Shannon Hale
#49. There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex
they should draw the line at goats.
Elton John
#50. There are times, Sember, when I could believe your mother had a secret lover. Looking at you makes me wonder if it was one of my goats.
David Gemmell
#51. If poisonous minerals, and if that tree, Whose fruit threw death on else immortal us, If lecherous goats, if serpents envious Cannot be damned; alas; why should I be?
John Donne
#52. It is safe to say that the majority of evangelical churches today are busy teaching their flock how to be better goats, but they are not preaching Bible-centered messages that grow religious affections.
Todd Friel
#53. You Liberals think that goats are just sheep from broken homes.
Malcolm Bradbury
#54. To you, being rich might mean owning a goat farm in South Carolina. For your best friend, it might mean being able to start her own business selling wine over the Internet. Whatever the case, youre probably not motivated by the money itself, but by what the money could let you be and do.
J.D. Roth
#55. Keep fighting, you daughters and sons of goats!" Birgitte yelled, loosing arrows at the mercenaries. "I might be dead, but I'm still your bloody commander, and you will obey orders!
Robert Jordan
#56. Goats are the cable talk show panelists of the animal world, ready at a moment's notice to interject, interrupt, and opine. They have something to say about everything, little of it complimentary. They are the most impertinent animals I have ever known.
Jon Katz
#57. It was a small farm in a little rural town by the Indiana state border. I lived there from ages 5 to 12, I would say, before we moved to Dallas. We had chickens and a vegetable garden, and I had to get up to milk the goats at seven in the morning or do it at seven at night.
Scott Michael Foster
#58. The only difference between Detroit and the Third World in terms of corruption is Detroit don't have no goats in the streets.
Charlie LeDuff
#59. Goats, to the left with you!' the Judge one day will ordain. 'And you, little sheep, stand quietly here on my right!' - Fair enough; but it is to be hoped he will say one thing more, namely: 'As for you, stand right opposite me, you men of sense!
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
#60. Just as a snowflake
went on to feed a puddle that filled a stream and then the river, the
pumpkin patch is a gathering of molecules from my old goats, chickens,
and cats, feeding the underworld of dirt creatures. And somewhere, my
father's ashes mingle with birds, air, and sea.
Katherine Dunn
#61. And when you're a weird and awkward and paranoid person at all times, CastieCon is the happiest place on the planet.
It's like, a baseline level of freakiness is expected here, right? So unless you're disemboweling goats in the vendor hall, no one gives a damn who you are or what you're doing.
J.C. Lillis
#62. This is a forsaken place ... I can think of no use for a place like this, except that you could say of it: I saw the heart of nothing, and survived.
Clive Barker
#63. My wife has a beastly habit of comparing poetry
all literature in fact
to the droppings of the goats among the rocks
mere excreta that fertilises the ground it falls on.
D.H. Lawrence
#64. I knew it!" He pumps a fist into the air. "You've fallen in love with me. You want to have my babies. We'll get a team of horses and a covered wagon and we'll journey to South America and raise goats.
Laurie Halse Anderson
#65. She did not look anything like a horned horse, as unicorns are often pictured, being smaller and cloven-hoofed, and possessing that oldest, wildest grace that horses have never had, that deer have only in a shy, thin imitation and goats in dancing mockery.
Peter S. Beagle
#66. Goats are naught but bones and bleating, and their hair was not warm nor their bodies soft. Of course, there was the smell, too, bitter as overripe vinegar, intrusive as bile.
Nancy E. Turner
#67. Esk wouldn't have known what a collective noun was if it had spat in her eye, but she knew there was a herd of goats and a coven of witches.
Terry Pratchett
#69. A close family member once offered his opinion that I exhibit the phone manners of a goat, then promptly withdrew the charge - out of fairness to goats.
Jeffrey Kluger
#70. You might think that climbing a mountain is half the battle, only to find out that the mountain goats who live at the top are vicious, and heavily armed.
Lemony Snicket
#71. When Jesus describes Judgment, the famous separation of the sheep from the goats, he does not mention religious affiliation or sexual orientation or family values. He says, "I was hungry, and ye fed me not" (Matthew 25:42).
Marilynne Robinson
#72. All furnished, all in arms;
All plum'd like estridges that with the wind
Bated like eagles having lately bathed;
Glittering in golden coats like images;
As full of spirit as the month of May
And gorgeous as the sun at midsummer;
Wanton as youthful goats, wild as young bulls.
William Shakespeare
#73. But as I remember it, he looked alternately bored and preoccupied throughout the meal, as if, while one part of him was drinking Bordeaux and cutting his food into bite-sized morsels, the other half was engaged with shepherding a herd of goats across a bone-dry plain.
Nicole Krauss
#74. A Myrddraal has less cunning than a woman, and a Trolloc fights with more honor. And a goat has more sense.
Robert Jordan
#76. Monstrous shiny black beetles the size of goats unfurled their wings, writhed and festered at the very top of the sharp rock formation.
Paul Ikin
#77. Lost rights are never regained by appeals to the conscience of the usurpers,
but by relentless struggle ... Goats are used for sacrificial offerings and not lions.
B.R. Ambedkar
#79. In Ethiopia ... you might find a seven-year-old expected to take 15 goats out into the fields for the whole day with only a chapati to eat and his whistle. Why are we so afraid to give our children responsibilities like this?
Joanna Lumley
#80. Normal people who weren't raised by mentally ill goats probably took the feeling of safety for granted. They only noticed when they suddenly felt unsafe. When the hands reach up for under the bed and grab their ankles, they scream, whereas I'm like Wait, can you scratch my knee before you kill me?
Augusten Burroughs
#81. Crawl 'til dawn on my hands and knees Goddamn these vampires for what they've done to me. ~Mountain Goats "Damn These Vampires
Autumn Doughton
#82. I make big shots everywhere. I get accustomed to it. I'm not afraid to be the goat. I don't worry about what you (reporters) say about me in the papers. In fact, I like it. It tickles me.
Sam Cassell
#83. We had five goats, two dogs, a cat and racks of commentaries on Shakespeare.
Charles Dance
#84. A good way to lose weight is to put salt on your ass and go to a petting zoo. But stay away from goats because I've seen them fornicate with a mail box.
Gary Busey
#85. What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes.
Buster Keaton
#86. I want to be able to run about like the goats do.
Johanna Spyri
#87. I want to find a way of speaking to fellow human beings that will be cool rather than heated, philosophical rather than polemical, that will bring enlightenment rather than seeking to divide us into the righteous and the sinners, the saved and the damned, the sheep and the goats.
J.M. Coetzee
#88. IQ's are a combination of eyes, and queues. Would you wait in line to see my goat show? Of course you wouldn't, because the line is invisible.
Will Advise
#89. Where I live, there's a lot of canyons. We're climbing constantly - we're like mountain goats. I'm just trying to get better at that.
Joey Santiago
#90. Fourteen-year-old, why must you giggle and dote,
Fourteen-year-old, why are you such a goat?
I'm fourteen years old, that is the reason,
I giggle and dote in season.
Stevie Smith
#91. It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom.
Trey Parker
#92. I looked up at this train car full of strangers, and my heart soared. In New Hampshire, I'd always felt like a goat among sheep; until I got to New York it had never occurred to me that there could be a place filled with other goats.
Sarah Silverman
#93. The chalks and slates fascinated them. They yearned to hold the white sticks in their hands, make little white squiggles like the other children, draw pictures of huts, cows, goats, and flowers. It was like magic, to make things appear out of nowhere.
Rohinton Mistry
#95. The music teacher thought I sang like a goat. It was kind of devastating. A few months after that, I participated in a music contest and won. I took my little trophy to school and rubbed it in his nose. I said to him, "What do you say now?"
Shakira
#96. I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually.
Kristen Schaal
#97. I will lose the habit of stars in the heavens, as frozen water loses the habit of snowflakes. I will take my frozen body, and give it to the young goats that they might graze it.
Nichita Stanescu
#98. One morning, I woke to find Chiron gone. This was not unusual. He often rose before we did, to milk the goats or pick fruits for breakfast. I left the cave so that Achilles
Madeline Miller
#99. Guys, there's only one thing I hate more than bloggers who start sentences with 'guys' - and it's those mealy-mouth hipsters who crochet codpieces and their ye-olde-sideburned friends who pickle stuff and slaughter their own gluten-free goats.
Jill Soloway
#100. Creeds are definitions of what it means to be a Christian. They are fences that, albeit imperfectly, seek to separate sheep from goats.
R.C. Sproul Jr.
