Top 47 Funny Pants Sayings
#1. Like, I'm lazy, but I'm also good at not-doing things I'm not supposed to do ... Being funny is a way of not-doing. Sit around and make jokes and be Mr. Funny pants and just make fun of everyone else's attempts to do something.
John Green
#2. I'd shake his hand, but I think that's what's holding up his pants.
George Lopez
#3. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Winston S. Churchill
#4. You know what my drink is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, that is a wild man drink. That should come with bail money, you know what I'm saying? Because on Jack, you don't know where you're going to end up, but you know when you get there, you won't be wearing any pants.
Dave Attell
#5. Shamu and I have arrived safely in Costa Rica. He was stopped by airport security because he carries enough artillery in his pants pockets to construct a sawed-off shotgun. Evidently, he thought we were headed to Iraq.
Chelsea Handler
#6. I don't mean like balls-in-your-face or gifts of pornography and butt plugs romantic, just cute, over-the-pants, PG-13 movie stuff.
Frances Winkler
#7. Carma,
Here are the Pants and a little sketch I made of Leo. From memory, not from life. (And no, I'm not thinging of him day and night. God.)
Funny hair, huh?
He did not realize I was in his class. I think I'm making a big impression around here.
Love you,
Len
Ann Brashares
#8. Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
Diane Arbus
#9. A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."
Tommy Cooper
#10. You hate birthdays yet pee your pants over presents. There is clearly something wrong with you, Garrett joked.
Tara Sivec
#11. So none of the young men we encountered during our season gave you hot pants for them?
Belinda! Your language.
I've been mingling with Americans. Such fun. So Naughty.
Rhys Bowen
#12. Part of her wanted to comfort him, to tell him everything was going to be okay. But the rest of her just wanted to throw him to the ground and rip those jeans off him. Funny how she could be so jealous of a pair of pants. They covered the sinfully male body she longed to explore.
Rosalie Lario
#13. If I don't have anything to do all day, I might not even put my pants on.
Jennifer Lawrence
#14. I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.
Tim Vine
#15. I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it.
Meg Cabot
#16. I supposed images of an evil god who wanted to break free of his mythological prison and enslave the whole world
weren't any scarier than a guy wearing big red shoes,yellow plaid pants,and white face paint.Clowns had always creeped me out. They were so not funny.
Jennifer Estep
#18. He's also taller than I thought, maybe six feet, with a slim but athletic build. His pants hug his hips just enough to outline a bit of a visible bulge. Or maybe it's just the lighting in here. Or maybe I'm just a pervert.
Karina Halle
#19. What can I say? I'm like a playground water fountain, I live to wet people's pants.
Frances Winkler
#20. For a long time, I refused to wear jeans. I liked high-waisted pants, but jeans made me feel like I wasn't being unique. Even now, I won't wear the skinny-jeans style, because most people wear those - they have to be baggier, boyfriend-looking, or sort of like a mom jean. I'm real funny that way.
Elle Fanning
#21. Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth.
Jon Foreman
#22. I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!
Mike Birbiglia
#23. You've got the fountain of youth hidden in your pants."
"What the fuck does that even mean?" Hook demanded, then held up a hand. "Never mind, I don't want to know."
"Means fucking keeps you young.
S.E. Jakes
#24. I had a fucking standing ovation going on in my goddamn pants, and it was demanding an encore.
Nenia Campbell
#25. She wore a fitted white scoop neck shirt under a thin jacket, slim brown pants and tennis shoes. He bet she looked hot in four-inch heels. He wondered how long she'd last in this town, and he decided he wanted to sleep with her before she left.
Tami Lund
#26. When I go to the bathrooms, I cannot take off my pants as before; because there is a light continuously blinking like a camera, everyone says it is just an environmental friendly lighting. Well, I cannot really trust it and I am not taking the risk of circulating my naked photos around.
M.F. Moonzajer
#27. I miss being able to wake up when I want and go on stage when I want and pull down my pants when I want.
Mark Wahlberg
#28. An hour later, a nameless, cold-faced man returned with a tray of fresh pasta, warm bread, and a few bags of brand new comfort clothes: yoga pants, tees, a few sports bras, and ... pink thong underwear? Well, of course. Wouldn't want to be held prisoner and have panty lines.
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
#29. Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.
Molly Harper
#30. Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.
Jay McLean
#31. It's funny - more people talk about my 'babe-dom' now than they did before I had a child. Whatever. I guess I'm a role model in hot pants now. That's cool!
Lauryn Hill
#32. Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask.
Tim Heaton
#33. I never leave my house. Then I don't have to put a bra on, and I don't have to change my pants.
Jennifer Lawrence
#34. I don't think I'd volunteer to have a dick that big. How the hell did he get it to fit in his pants?
[ ... ]
Yeah, and here I thought he was figuratively a horse's ass. Who would have ever thought he actually had anatomical similarities?
Adrienne Wilder
#35. She's also wearing pants now.
Because I'm a dick.
Ashley Jade
#36. SHUT UP. Both of you. You're coming with me." To me he said, "Put some pants on."
"Fuck you. This is my house. I make the rules. You take your clothes off. John, get the Twister mat.
David Wong
#37. But as an escort it's our duty to hold their attention and play with their heads. The one between their ears and the one in their pants.
S.K. Logsdon
#38. Oh don't be such a fuss pot," said the fairy, "or I'll call you Fussy Pants, instead of Silly Pants!
Julie B. Campbell
#40. My mama never wore a pair of pants when I was growing up, and now that's all she wears. It was so funny for me when I first started seeing Mama wear pants. It was like it wasn't Mama. Now I've bought her many a pantsuit because she just lives in them.
Dolly Parton
#41. You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.
Jon Stewart
#42. Because you've been on dates where y'know, you forget to open your eyes and wear pants and speak English.
David Cross
#43. Perhaps I should have pointed out more often that without her (mother's) guidance and example I might have gone straight from short pants to Long Bay Gaol, which in those days was still in use and heavily populated by larcenous young men who had chosen their parents less wisely.
Clive James
#44. Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.
D.J. MacHale
#45. Bigots are actually funny to me in the way that people who still wear parachute pants give me a chuckle.
John Ridley
#46. I had a dream about you. You were wearing Sylvester Stallone's sneer as pants, but his lips were saggy on your legs, so you had to wear a mustache as a belt.
Dora J. Arod
#47. The Side Effects of Dying in Your Pants isn't really funny ... Alright, it's a little funny.
John Green
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