Top 68 Funny City Sayings
#1. The way I survived growing up in Jersey City was by being funny. It wasn't by being tough. Nobody thought of me as a tough kid, except for the kids I beat up.
Michelle Rodriguez
#3. I do have very deep, fond memories of my family in Mexico City, but I also remember feeling funny for not speaking English - I was basically an immigrant. But I picked up the language fast and soon I knew that I wanted to be a writer.
Louis C.K.
#4. How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running for this Olympics. But here's what happened. We got outbribed.
David Letterman
#5. Someone did a study of the three most-often-heard phrases in New York City. One is "Hey taxi." Two is "What train do I take to get to Bloomingdales?" And three is "Don't worry, it's only a flesh wound.
David Letterman
#6. Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it!
Ilona Andrews
#7. It's funny because I think it also goes very well with the show. It has this reputation as being this love city where everyone goes to get married, but when you get there, it's very corny and tacky.
Caroline Dhavernas
#8. This is so funny," said Ellen, noticing the seating arrangement. "Isn't this funny? Tom, come sit next to Robin. Griffin, sit next to Laura."
I stood up and sat next to Robin while Griffin brought his chair over to Laura.
"That's better," said Ellen. "Isn't that better?
Daniel Amory
#9. When you go back to 'Friends,' and you look at that as New York, there's no black people. That's not real. You're in New York City, and there's no black people at all. That's a little funny.
Terry Crews
#10. In this city, we've got a saying: once is coincidence, twice is a booking offense!
-Judge Dredd
John Wagner
#11. San Francisco has a flowers-in-your-hair kind of vibe, while Chicago's got this very funny, big-city/small-town coolness to it.
Dave Matthews
#12. How come they don't think you can handle a new story out of the blue on the TV news? They gotta make a little lame segue. "Hey, that's a big lotto jackpot! Speaking of lotto, there was a lot o' crime in the city today."
Brian Regan
#13. The funny thing about mundies is how obsessed with magic they are for a bunch of people who don't even know what the word means.
Cassandra Clare
#14. Another funny thing about living in this city is how easy it can be to lose track of people. We're all so busy, always rushing around, so wrapped up in our own stuff. It stops occurring to us to check in with friends. I mean REALLY check in with them.
Ryan Kelly
#15. Every city I go to is an opportunity to paint, whether it's Omaha or Hawaii.
Tony Bennett
#16. Stuffing one muffin in his mouth and a second in his pocket, Auguste slipped into a side passage and away. He'd just take a wander 'round the city and hope some assassin made a merciful move.
Rachel Heffington
#17. The dimple in his left cheek was ironic-it gave the impression that he was sweet as a cupcake. (Dark City Lights)
Elaine Kagan
#18. Being a pumpkinhead is great."
"Your HEAD is a PUMPKIN.
Justin Robinson
#19. Was it just her, or did lovers look more adoringly at each other in this city? Especially in the springtime.
'Die, bastards.'
She sighed. It wasn't their fault that they were bastards who should die.
Kresley Cole
#20. And Kansas City is at Chicago tonight, or is it Chicago at Kansas City? Well, no matter as Kansas City leads in the eighth 4 to 4.
Jerry Coleman
#21. Through a veil of tears I watched the city get smaller and smaller. It was funny, because it sort of felt as if my heart was doing the same thing.
E.M. Denning
#22. Aline!" Isabelle looked appalled. "You can't just go around asking people what it's like to be a vampire.
Cassandra Clare
#23. Then you get these articles about how unhealthy life is in the city. You know; mobile phone tumours - far more likely in the city; Well you know what, so is everything else! Including sex, coffee and conversation.
Dylan Moran
#24. Funny thing about love, ain't it? Sometimes it saves you and sometimes, like right then, even love isn't enough.
Eden Butler
#25. That's your truck parked up by the factory isn't it?" Magnus pointed. "It's awfully butch for a bookseller.
Cassandra Clare
#26. It's not funny, Jace," Alec interrupted, starting to his feet. "Are you just going to let her stand there and call me names?"
"Yes," Jace said kindly. "It'll do you good
try to think of it as endurance training.
Cassandra Clare
#27. And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum.
Cassandra Clare
#28. This is the most exciting place in the world to live. Oh yeah! There are so many ways to die in New York City! Race riots, drive by shootings, subway crashes, construction cranes collapsing on the sidewalks, manhole covers blowing up and asbestos shooting into the sky.
Denis Leary
#29. It was very hard to make 'Funny Face' in Paris because making movies is difficult and making a movie in a city that was glorious, that was unique and surprising, to get it, to put it on film you have to make choices and reject a lot of things so you're always wondering: 'Am I doing it right?'
Stanley Donen
#30. Killing demons is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Annr, guard, Zearlach city.
Taylor Grace
#31. Let every man shovel out his own snow, and the whole city will be passable," said Gamache. Seeing Beauvoir's puzzled expression he added, "Emerson."
"Lake and Palmer?"
"Ralph and Waldo.
Louise Penny
#32. Richard Pryor introduced me to the world of the inner city, and the urban world, and did it hysterically. My favorite comedian, even though we work 180 degrees differently, but funny is funny is funny.
Bob Newhart
#33. [Reviewing the New York City Telephone Directory] But it is the opinion of the present reviewer that the weakness of plot is due to the great number of characters which clutter up the pages. The Russian school is responsible for this.
Robert Benchley
#34. The whole city gives you the impression of impermanence. You have the feeling that one day someone is going to yell, "Cut! Strike it!" and then the stagehands will scurry out and remove the mountains, the movie-star homes, the Hollywood Bowl
everything.
Allan Sherman
#35. Never mind gas masks and fallout shelters in the event of biological warfare. Many New Yorkers move from place to place equipped with the essentials of vermin assault weaponry: mouse traps, roach spray, and sticky tapes. In some neighborhoods, it's a must.
Isabel Lopez
#36. A peacock escaped from the Central Park Zoo and wandered around the city. Either that or I just saw a pigeon on his way to a gay pride parade.
Jimmy Fallon
#37. So I'm delighted to open up a bit about these particular details, in honor of Valentine's Day (when every balding, chubby, and short actuary wants people - especially the babes out there - to know about his studly past"
From: "My Best Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story
Zack Love
#38. Aren't you, uh ... reproducing?
sure, we love reproducing it's one of our favorite things.
Cassandra Clare
#39. My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.
Cassandra Clare
#40. You know what's funny is that I have this ongoing relationship with the city of Washington D.C. I went to George Washington University, and my nickname was K-Dub - based on G-Dub - and I'm now on the board of trustees at George Washington University.
Kerry Washington
#41. A funny thing happened post-diagnosis. They put him on drugs, things went up and down, but he lived. He lived. It was like a waiting room where they kept not calling your name.
Garth Risk Hallberg
#42. Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights)
Jane Dentinger
#43. I'm a bug on acting, which distinguishes Second City from a lot of other revues. It comes from the character, the behavior, and not from the jokes. I don't think jokes are funny. Humor comes out of character and out of situations the character is in.
Bernard Sahlins
#44. When we get the remote Russian village online, what will get people to the Internet is not going to be reports from Human Rights Watch. It's going to be pornography, 'Sex and the City,' or maybe funny videos of cats.
Evgeny Morozov
#45. Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city.
Woody Allen
#46. The Rusty Ruins were the remains of an old city, a hulking reminder of back when there'd been way too many people, and everyone was incredibly stupid. And ugly.
Scott Westerfeld
#47. So? I know lots of beautiful women. Nova wanted to chase ... I merely obliged her by running.
D.D. Chant
#48. August in Kansas City is hotter than two rats f**king in a sock.
Ichiro Suzuki
#49. It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story.
Agatha Christie
#50. A fine city with too many socialists and mosquitoes. At least you can spray the mosquitoes.
Ralph Klein
#51. I had a dream about you last night.
We moved into a cabin in the countryside.
I couldn't handle the spiders.
You couldn't handle my drama.
I moved back to the city.
Michael Summers
#52. Don't get me wrong, I think "Portlandia" is really funny, and quite brilliant, but I like to be in a city where I can hang out in Powell's Bookstore most nights and go out with my friends in a liberal, relaxed atmosphere. I wish more cities were like that.
Johnny Marr
#53. No matter where he went in the City, there was an odoriferous mix of food and vehicles, like the alchemic concoctions of some mad gourmet mechanic: Kung Pao Saab Turbo, Buick Skylark Carbonara, Sweet-and-Sour Metro Bus, Honda Bolognese with Burning Clutch Sauce.
Christopher Moore
#55. When you live in a city, as I do, where violence is really in the streets, and people die every day, there's nothing funny about it.
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
#56. Never follow the crowd ...
Until and unless you're crossing the road ...
Sanhita Baruah
#57. He looked longingly out the window at the towering skyline of New York City and thought about jumping. It would hurt less than following orders.
Kelly Moran
#58. The funny thing is, London is an incredibly interesting city. It's very sexy and it's very different, with the Thames winding through it like a snake.
Mel Smith
#59. I love humor in writing, so I've written to the thing that's funny, there's the joke, but then I just kept going. I started thinking about all the bikes I've had stolen, and that got me thinking about crime, and that got me thinking about the city I'm in.
Jess Walter
#60. They drove towards the city and Dan handed Lyssa a loose Hermes scarf.
'Yours?' she teased.
'Mum's,' he answered as Lyssa tied it over her eyes. 'You look very sexy like that.'
'And you sound really creepy right now,' Lyssa said, laughing.
Kate Forster
#61. The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city.
Vance Bourjaily
#62. Well, the bad news," Swedish said from the wheel, "is that Chess still thinks he's funny."
"What's the good news?" Loretta asked, leaning on our little copper-tubed harpoon. "That Kodoc dropped a bomb on the city?
Joel N. Ross
#63. This city has so many beautiful women. I fall in love like every ten minutes, I'm sitting on the subway, I'm like, "There's my wife ... there she is - oh, she's getting off. All right, there's the woman - all right, that's a man."
Jim Gaffigan
#64. Lvov is a city like New York City in America. New York City, in truth, was designed on the model of Lvov.
Jonathan Safran Foer
#65. No matter how many times I visit New York City, I am always struck by the same thing - a yellow taxicab.
Scott Adams
#66. We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white people use it.
Hannibal Buress
#67. Wait a second," Clary said.
"I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere.
Cassandra Clare
#68. That was 1993 grunge in suburbia. This was 2003 hell in Harlem. (Dark City Lights)
Eve Kagan
