Exercise Humor Quotes

#1. There was practically one handwriting common to the whole school when it came to writing lines. It resembled the movements of a fly that had fallen into an ink-pot, and subsequently taken a little brisk exercise on a sheet of foolscap by way of restoring the circulation.

P.G. Wodehouse

#2. Erasing is exercise for the hands

Elizabeth Rawls

#3. You're getting into some kind of shape, cop."
Aw, come on, now." Butch grinned. "Don't let that shower we took go to your head."
Rhage fired a towel at the male. "Just pointing out your beer gut's gone."
It was a Scotch pot. And I don't miss it.

J.R. Ward

#4. If you find yourself debating whether or not you should go exercise, it means you have the time and the means, your're simply talking yourself out of doing something difficults

The Oatmeal

#5. I'm over the hill for come-on lines. On a quiet day, I can hear my liver rotting. For exercise, I fall down. ~ Clete

James Lee Burke

#6. Mother, of course, takes a lot of exercise, walks and so on. And every morning she puts on a pair of black silk drawers and a sweater and makes indelicate gestures on the lawn. That's called Building the Body Beautiful. She's mad about it.

Nancy Mitford

#7. Barry L. Jacobs and colleagues from the neuroscience program at Princeton University showed that when mice ran every day on an exercise wheel, they developed more brain cells and they learned faster than sedentary controls. I believe in mice.

Bernd Heinrich

#8. I take my only exercise acting as a pallbearer at the funerals of my friends who exercise regularly.

Mark Twain

#9. A bear, however hard he tries, grows tubby without exercise.

A.A. Milne

#10. Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which to exercise its edges, and Juan Borgia served admirably in place of drunken innkeepers and tavern cheats.

Kate Quinn

#11. What was significant about the laughter ... was not just the fact that it provides internal exercise for a person ... form of jogging for the innards, but that it creates a mood in which the other positive emotions can be put to work, too.

Norman Cousins

#12. It was a needless precaution, I felt sure, but men always enjoy marching around with weapons and flexing their figurative muscles, and I saw no reason to deny them this harmless exercise.

Elizabeth Peters

#13. I've spent the last fifteen years of my life railing against the game of soccer, an exercise that has been lauded as "the sport of the future" since 1977. Thankfully, that future dystopia has never come.

Chuck Klosterman

#14. What a cheek. I do live a healthy life style. I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don;t exercise, how much healthier can I be?

Lynda Renham

#15. I wasn't particularly worried; running is overrated anyway, and sport only makes you sweaty and smug and wears out the knees.

Jasper Fforde

#16. If you avoid the killer diseases and keep the degenerative ones under control with sensible diet and exercise and whatever chemotherapy you need to stay in balance, you can live nearly forever.

Wallace Stegner

#17. Wearing that personal trainer nametag doesn't make you right #AHOLE

A.O. Storm

#18. Mr. Darcy said very little, and Mr. Hurst nothing at all. The former was divided between admiration of the brilliancy which exercise had given to her complexion, and doubt as to the occasion's justifying her coming so far alone. The latter was thinking only of his breakfast.

Jane Austen

#19. Poirot," I said. "I have been thinking."
"An admirable exercise my friend. Continue it.

Agatha Christie

#20. I'm sure I've all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer's 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.

Dick Cavett

#21. The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.

Socrates

#22. Nothing sinister. Just getting exercise. Although some might consider that sinister.

Marian Keyes

#23. Exercise II.
Write a diary, imagining that you are trying to make an old person jealous. I have written an example to get you started:
Dear Diary,
I spent the morning admiring my skin elasticity.
God alive, I feel supple.

Joe Dunthorne

#24. A word says more than a thousand images. Exercises for the visually inclined: illustrate "appreciation", "humor", "software", "education", "inalienable rights", "elegance", "fact".

Erik Naggum

#25. I don't see the point of watching men exercise.

Natasha Leggero

#26. Torture at night, human sacrifice in the morning, healthy exercise at noon. What could possibly be on the schedule for the evening?

Sarah Rees Brennan

#27. Crunches are an exercise where you lie on your back and angrily try to head-butt your crotch.

Matthew Inman

#28. I ran three miles, staggered into the lobby, and took the elevator back to my apartment. No point to overdoing this exercise junk.
Stephanie Plum

Janet Evanovich

#29. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the heck she is.

Ellen DeGeneres

#30. Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.

P. J. O'Rourke

#31. Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

Paul Terry

#32. I don't care what Cosmo says about exercise improving sex. Some things aren't worth the cost.

Lois Greiman

#33. I do twenty jumping jacks a day. Well, half of that. I just clap.

Martha Bolton

#34. I don't like doing anything that makes you sweat if you don't come at the end of it.

Russell Brand

#35. You sound like a control freak." The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
"Oh, I exercise control in all things, Miss Steele," he says without a trace of humor in his smile.

E.L. James

#36. If I could get back my youth, I'd do anything in the world except get up early, take exercise or be respectable.

Oscar Wilde

#37. Exercise is for people who can't handle drugs or alcohol.

Lily Tomlin

#38. Do you remember a little phenom called step aerobics? If you do, then you know how crazy it was to take two ninety-minute classes in a row. It's incredible that I didn't die from a blunt injury to the back of my head from slipping on my own pool of sweat.

Kathy Griffin

#39. If it weren't for my imagination, I would weigh ten thousand pounds. This is because the only way I am able to exercise anymore is through a long and vivid revenge fantasy.

Mindy Kaling

#40. I rolled my eyes, finishing off the burger. Rummaging around in the bag, I pulled out an extra-large order of fries. With all the exercise I was getting, my escape would involve me rolling out of here.

Jennifer L. Armentrout