Top 99 Doughnut Quotes
#1. I'm still a doughnut, okay?" I said. "I want to be a bun. I really do. But I'm still a doughnut.
Jojo Moyes
#2. Keep your eye on the doughnut, not on the hole.
David Lynch
#3. That's why when Peter started talking to me in homeroom this morning, i soaked up his attention like a doughnut dipped in coffee. The fact that his comments have left me soggy and wilted doesn't matter. That's the price you pay when you withdraw to the safety of anonymity
Randa Abdel-Fattah
#4. I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.
Jennifer Crusie
#5. People think that food cheers you up, that a doughnut cures all ills, but this only works for trivial complaints. When real disaster strikes, food chokes you.
Helena Dela
#7. Now, have I ever been tempted to break into a Krispy Kreme doughnut store in the middle of the night? Oh, yeah. God help us if I had a minibar stocked with cheesecake and chicken-fried steak.
Mike Huckabee
#8. If you keep your eye on the doughnut and do your work, that's all you can control. You can't control any of what's out there, outside yourself.
David Lynch
#9. You go into any doughnut shop and look at three cops having coffee, I guarantee I look like one of them.
Dean Norris
#10. Never eat a heavily sugared doughnut before you go on TV.
John Cheever
#11. My advice: write down everything you eat. It's amazing what that "self honesty" can do for you. (Do you really want to have to confess that doughnut? I thought not.)
Alton Brown
#12. Don't look at the hole in the doughnut. Look at the whole doughnut.
Branch Rickey
#13. It takes courage, of course, to step out of the fray, as it takes courage to do anything that's necessary, whether tending to a loved one on her deathbed or turning away from that sugarcoated doughnut.
Pico Iyer
#15. I secured a doughnut and coffee. I checked with Karrin and Valmont. Neither wanted to save the doughnuts from Nicodemus's corruptive influence. Not everyone can be a crusader like me.
Jim Butcher
#16. We're going to be in the wilderness in three days. There won't be doughnut stores.
Bill Bryson
#17. Think I'll go eat me a doughnut and take me a nap.
Ray Bradbury
#19. I'm on my version of the protein diet, but there ain't no protein in it. It's a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers.
J. B. Smoove
#20. So why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooooooooooon?
Kurt Vonnegut
#21. Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
Oscar Wilde
#22. My porch feels as safe as a chocolate doughnut on an ant hill.
Daniel H. Wilson
#23. You never get used to being slotted into a giant doughnut's vagina.
Sara Wolf
#24. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
#25. Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?
Kurt Vonnegut
#26. How you mean, 'doughnut hole'?" Ti-Jeanne had asked. "That's what they call it when an inner city collapses and people run to the suburbs," he'd answered.
Nalo Hopkinson
#28. Look not for too long into the doughnut, lest the doughnut look into you.
Tom Holt
#29. When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you've been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you've got Type 2 Diabetes ... It's in bad taste if nothing else,
Anthony Bourdain
#30. My dad thought I'd end up in the poorhouse or in doughnut shops with a bag full of reviews.
Henry Czerny
#32. Do you scent the same things I do?"
Ransom made a face when she described what she'd picked up from the passing vamp. "Yeah, except I don't say shit like 'cinnamon spice with a hint of burnt oak.' I say 'dude smells like an electrified tree with a side of doughnut topping.
Nalini Singh
#33. Whether you take the doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit.
Haruki Murakami
#34. Even in the old days, we'd make an effort. When I'd go out to score on Eighth
Avenue, I'd get my junk and a chocolate doughnut. But I'd always also pick up one of
those pita-pocket health food sandwiches. You know, something really good for me.
Steven Tyler
#35. She's my meal, but she no longer feeds from me." "Try it anyway. Maybe find her a doughnut or something,
Amelia Hutchins
#36. This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
Daniel Handler
#38. It's one thing, holding open the door for someone at a grocery store, or the library, or just about anyplace else. But the doughnut shop is a different thing altogether. This is a get-in-and-out-as-fast-as-you-can operation. There's no room for courtesy or chivalry here.
Linwood Barclay
#39. As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two.
Cassandra Clare
#40. The doughnut was definitely looking at him. Hello, sailor, it seemed to be saying.
Tom Holt
#41. Discretion, like the hole in a doughnut, does not exist except as an area left open by a surrounding belt of restriction. It is therefore a relative concept. It always makes sense to ask, "Discretion under which standards?" or "Discretion as to which authority?
Ronald Dworkin
#42. Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut," murmured Paul Lazzaro in his azure nest. "Go take a flying fuck at the moon
Kurt Vonnegut
#43. A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head and called it a night.
David Sedaris
#44. What about reality, you ask? Well, as far as I'm concerned, reality can go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
Stephen King
#45. Truthfully, everyone knows how to eat right. They know the difference between oatmeal and a jelly cream doughnut. They know how to walk. Everyone has this in their brain. When I started, we didn't have all this knowledge.
Richard Simmons
#46. If you mean doughnut when you say I'll give you the Big D, then yes. I'll take the D. If not then I'm not interested. -Lenore to a customer
Lani Lynn Vale
#47. I bet you popped out of your momma with a gun in one hand and a doughnut in the other.
Rick Yancey
#48. You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go.
Hillary Scott
#49. British scientists say they have developed a super broccoli that can help fight heart disease. You know, if you want to fight heart disease, why don't you come up with a food people will actually eat? Like a super glazed doughnut.
Jay Leno
#50. According to a new poll, Republicans are more likely to have a doughnut for breakfast, while Democrats prefer to eat bagels and croissants. While Independents are that annoying friend who's still looking at the menu after 15 minutes.
Jimmy Fallon
#51. There is no fountain of youth, What you put into your body is what you get out of it. You would not feed your dog a coffee and doughnut for breakfast followed by a cigarette. You will kill the damn dog.
Jack LaLanne
#52. The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.
Dennis Miller
#53. As you ramble on through life, Brother,
Whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye upon the doughnut,
And not upon the hole.
Margaret Atwood
#54. Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?
Jim Butcher
#55. Pete roars with laughter and asks if Hodges knows what the blond said when she opened the box of Cheerios. Hodges says he does not. Pete makes big amazed eyes and says, Oh! Look at the cute little doughnut seeds!
Stephen King
#56. There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr
#57. Well fine, then. I could send you out to win my favor. Possibly on a quest involving bringing a large mug of coffee and a doughnut. Or the wholesale slaughter of all my enemies. I haven't decided which.
Holly Black
#58. I am an unlikely guardian. A month ago I thought the Medicare doughnut hole was a breakfast special for seniors. I am a care inflictor.
George Hodgman
#59. There's always tomorrow."
"Exactly," she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn't starve to death, she decided. Maybe she'd eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
#60. Caring about a person is like praying to a doughnut in the darkness.
Crispin Best
#61. I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
P. J. O'Rourke
#62. They use the M as an anchor to get the doughnut and then there's an escalator to nowhere.
Gemma Burgess
#63. This, said Mother, as she handed him a piece of dry, tasteless matzoh, is the bread of our affliction. Where, young Kugel wondered, is the seven-layer cake of our salvation? Where is the muffin of our mirth? Where is our no-longer-reduced-to-jelly doughnut?
Shalom Auslander
#64. I have the biggest sweet tooth, and just recently a doughnut shop in Portland called Pip's Original introduced a doughnut inspired by me called the 'Dirty Wu.' It is a cinnamon-sugar doughnut with sea salt, drizzled with honey and Nutella.
Reggie Lee
#65. The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.
Janet Evanovich
#66. I still take my own lunches to work. That way I can control what I'm eating, as opposed to another doughnut.
Marianne Jean-Baptiste
#67. Whether you take a doughnut hole as blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit. Sitting
Haruki Murakami
#68. The other day, a doughnut shop in Portland called Pip's Originals tweeted me telling me that they named a doughnut after me called the 'Dirty Wu.' It is a cinnamon sugar doughnut drizzled with honey and Nutella. It was so good. I just won the Oscar in the sci-fi world.
Reggie Lee
#69. A gluten-free diet still allows you access to almost every fruit and vegetable, a variety of grains and legumes, your pick of dairy products, fresh meats and fish and a whole slew of special gluten-free delights to satisfy your pretzel-bagel-muffin-doughnut craving.
Daphne Oz
#70. Percy!' Annabeth scolded. 'You just opened another Monster Doughnut shop somewhere!
Rick Riordan
#71. I was let go after one of the doughnut girls caught me debating the varying merits of the free toys with a four-year-old. What can I say? She was a smart four-year-old. I also thought the Sleeping Beautys were sappy.
Jojo Moyes
#72. Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots."
"Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.
Janet Evanovich
#73. I want a doughnut
Me
#75. Adult librarians are like lazy bakers: their patrons want a jelly doughnut, so they give them a jelly doughnut. Children's librarians are ambitious bakers: 'You like the jelly doughnut? I'll get you a jelly doughnut. But you should try my cruller, too. My cruller is gonna blow your mind, kid.
John Green
#76. Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
#77. A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut.
Roseanne Barr
#78. Hard to protect your food, with your ass anchored." He saluted me with the doughnut. "When you're ready to talk, call me. You know the number."
He walked out.
Ilona Andrews
#79. I was hiding out from the celebrity thing, I was smoking way too much dope, I was sitting on the couch, and just turning into a doughnut, and I really got irritated with myself.
Brad Pitt
#80. Right then is when I realized Day Grissom had a chunk of a doughnut stuck in his beard. I figured it'd be rude to mention it, but I couldn't help but stare. A beard is a gnarly place for a pastry to reside.
Anonymous
#81. Above the lot, the great pink hoop of the Ed's Doughnut House sign broadcasts its frigid synthetic light into the night,
Paul Murray
#82. Give me a glazed doughnut, and a bottle of anything ... to go!
David Lee Roth
#83. I hear Dylan rummaging around in the cupboards. "You want a jelly doughnut?It's the only breakfast food I've got."
"No time!I'll just snort the powdered sugar off the top."
"Bad joke, considering who I used to go out with.
Ann Redisch Stampler
#84. A Paradox, the doughnut hole. Empty space, once, but now they've learned to market even that. A minus quantity; nothing, rendered edible. I wondered if they might be used-metaphorically, of course-to demonstrate the existence of God. Does naming a sphere of nothingness transmute it into being?
Margaret Atwood
#85. As I ramble through life, whatever be my goal, I will unfortunately always keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the whole.
Wendy Wasserstein
#86. If you really taste a doughnut, it's pretty disgusting. They taste of grease.
Ruth Reichl
#87. I was very good at sitting. But I just read so much research about how horrible sitting is for you. It's like, it's really bad. It's like Paula-Deen-glazed-bacon-doughnut bad. So I now move around as much as possible.
A. J. Jacobs
#88. Roll me in sugar and call me a fuckin jelly-doughnut!
Stephen King
#89. Don't blow up the world till Sunday," Josh said through a mouthful of doughnut. "I've got to collect my paycheck first." Every
Robert McCammon
#90. Rich people believe "You can have your cake and eat it too." Middle-class people believe "Cake is too rich, so I'll only have a little piece." Poor people don't believe they deserve cake, so they order a doughnut, focus on the hole, and wonder why they have "nothing."
T. Harv Eker
#91. I learned to bet the Red Sox, the Celtics, Suffolk Downs. I thought it was a glorious life - pull up to the doughnut shop, spread out, and plan your day.
Alex Rocco
#92. She asked, "Was that really your dinner - two hot dogs and a Krispy Kreme doughnut?" "Four doughnuts." "What does your cholesterol look like?" "I guess it's white like what they show in the commercials.
Karin Slaughter
#93. I take the no-doughnut pledge, and then I break it.
Lauren Graham
#94. Whether you take a doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut in the slightest bit.
Haruki Murakami
#95. The optimist sees the doughnut but the pessimist see 452 calories and a shed load of sugar ...
James Minter
#96. And for those of you who watched the last programme, I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's.
David Coleman
#97. You wouldn't think you could get bored falling to your death ... But when it's a really, really long drop, there's a definite risk on ennui.
Tom Holt
#98. In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.
Tom Holt
#99. Why doesn't Prin go and get her own goddamn blistering bloody shitty jelly doughnuts?
Margaret Laurence
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