Top 99 Doughnut Quotes
#1. Ranger sent us to check on you," Hal said. "We just got here, and we heard shots."
"Some moron ate my jelly doughnut," Lula said. "So I shot him.
Janet Evanovich
#3. I was let go after one of the doughnut girls caught me debating the varying merits of the free toys with a four-year-old. What can I say? She was a smart four-year-old. I also thought the Sleeping Beautys were sappy.
Jojo Moyes
#4. Percy!' Annabeth scolded. 'You just opened another Monster Doughnut shop somewhere!
Rick Riordan
#5. A gluten-free diet still allows you access to almost every fruit and vegetable, a variety of grains and legumes, your pick of dairy products, fresh meats and fish and a whole slew of special gluten-free delights to satisfy your pretzel-bagel-muffin-doughnut craving.
Daphne Oz
#6. The other day, a doughnut shop in Portland called Pip's Originals tweeted me telling me that they named a doughnut after me called the 'Dirty Wu.' It is a cinnamon sugar doughnut drizzled with honey and Nutella. It was so good. I just won the Oscar in the sci-fi world.
Reggie Lee
#7. Whether you take a doughnut hole as blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit. Sitting
Haruki Murakami
#8. I still take my own lunches to work. That way I can control what I'm eating, as opposed to another doughnut.
Marianne Jean-Baptiste
#9. The way I see it, life is a jelly doughnut. You don't really know what it's about until you bite into it. And then, just when you decided it's good, you drop a big glob of jelly on your best T-shirt.
Janet Evanovich
#10. I have the biggest sweet tooth, and just recently a doughnut shop in Portland called Pip's Original introduced a doughnut inspired by me called the 'Dirty Wu.' It is a cinnamon-sugar doughnut with sea salt, drizzled with honey and Nutella.
Reggie Lee
#11. This, said Mother, as she handed him a piece of dry, tasteless matzoh, is the bread of our affliction. Where, young Kugel wondered, is the seven-layer cake of our salvation? Where is the muffin of our mirth? Where is our no-longer-reduced-to-jelly doughnut?
Shalom Auslander
#12. They use the M as an anchor to get the doughnut and then there's an escalator to nowhere.
Gemma Burgess
#13. British scientists say they have developed a super broccoli that can help fight heart disease. You know, if you want to fight heart disease, why don't you come up with a food people will actually eat? Like a super glazed doughnut.
Jay Leno
#14. Caring about a person is like praying to a doughnut in the darkness.
Crispin Best
#15. There's always tomorrow."
"Exactly," she said, finishing off her first doughnut, selecting a second. Maybe she wouldn't starve to death, she decided. Maybe she'd eat herself into obesity and explode. Death by doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
#16. I am an unlikely guardian. A month ago I thought the Medicare doughnut hole was a breakfast special for seniors. I am a care inflictor.
George Hodgman
#17. Well fine, then. I could send you out to win my favor. Possibly on a quest involving bringing a large mug of coffee and a doughnut. Or the wholesale slaughter of all my enemies. I haven't decided which.
Holly Black
#18. There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
Roseanne Barr
#19. Pete roars with laughter and asks if Hodges knows what the blond said when she opened the box of Cheerios. Hodges says he does not. Pete makes big amazed eyes and says, Oh! Look at the cute little doughnut seeds!
Stephen King
#20. Likest thou jelly within thy doughnut?
Jim Butcher
#21. As you ramble on through life, Brother,
Whatever be your goal,
Keep your eye upon the doughnut,
And not upon the hole.
Margaret Atwood
#22. The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.
Dennis Miller
#23. There is no fountain of youth, What you put into your body is what you get out of it. You would not feed your dog a coffee and doughnut for breakfast followed by a cigarette. You will kill the damn dog.
Jack LaLanne
#24. According to a new poll, Republicans are more likely to have a doughnut for breakfast, while Democrats prefer to eat bagels and croissants. While Independents are that annoying friend who's still looking at the menu after 15 minutes.
Jimmy Fallon
#25. The optimist sees the doughnut but the pessimist see 452 calories and a shed load of sugar ...
James Minter
#26. I want a doughnut
Me
#27. And for those of you who watched the last programme, I hope all your doughnuts turn out like Fanny's.
David Coleman
#28. Whether you take a doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut in the slightest bit.
Haruki Murakami
#29. I take the no-doughnut pledge, and then I break it.
Lauren Graham
#30. She asked, "Was that really your dinner - two hot dogs and a Krispy Kreme doughnut?" "Four doughnuts." "What does your cholesterol look like?" "I guess it's white like what they show in the commercials.
Karin Slaughter
#31. I learned to bet the Red Sox, the Celtics, Suffolk Downs. I thought it was a glorious life - pull up to the doughnut shop, spread out, and plan your day.
Alex Rocco
#32. Rich people believe "You can have your cake and eat it too." Middle-class people believe "Cake is too rich, so I'll only have a little piece." Poor people don't believe they deserve cake, so they order a doughnut, focus on the hole, and wonder why they have "nothing."
T. Harv Eker
#33. Don't blow up the world till Sunday," Josh said through a mouthful of doughnut. "I've got to collect my paycheck first." Every
Robert McCammon
#34. Roll me in sugar and call me a fuckin jelly-doughnut!
Stephen King
#35. I was very good at sitting. But I just read so much research about how horrible sitting is for you. It's like, it's really bad. It's like Paula-Deen-glazed-bacon-doughnut bad. So I now move around as much as possible.
A. J. Jacobs
#36. If you really taste a doughnut, it's pretty disgusting. They taste of grease.
Ruth Reichl
#37. As I ramble through life, whatever be my goal, I will unfortunately always keep my eye upon the doughnut and not upon the whole.
Wendy Wasserstein
#38. A Paradox, the doughnut hole. Empty space, once, but now they've learned to market even that. A minus quantity; nothing, rendered edible. I wondered if they might be used-metaphorically, of course-to demonstrate the existence of God. Does naming a sphere of nothingness transmute it into being?
Margaret Atwood
#39. I hear Dylan rummaging around in the cupboards. "You want a jelly doughnut?It's the only breakfast food I've got."
"No time!I'll just snort the powdered sugar off the top."
"Bad joke, considering who I used to go out with.
Ann Redisch Stampler
#40. Give me a glazed doughnut, and a bottle of anything ... to go!
David Lee Roth
#41. Above the lot, the great pink hoop of the Ed's Doughnut House sign broadcasts its frigid synthetic light into the night,
Paul Murray
#42. Right then is when I realized Day Grissom had a chunk of a doughnut stuck in his beard. I figured it'd be rude to mention it, but I couldn't help but stare. A beard is a gnarly place for a pastry to reside.
Anonymous
#43. I was hiding out from the celebrity thing, I was smoking way too much dope, I was sitting on the couch, and just turning into a doughnut, and I really got irritated with myself.
Brad Pitt
#44. Hard to protect your food, with your ass anchored." He saluted me with the doughnut. "When you're ready to talk, call me. You know the number."
He walked out.
Ilona Andrews
#45. A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like a doughnut.
Roseanne Barr
#46. Okay, take a deep breath, I told myself. Don't go all hormonal. Get the facts straight. Have a mental doughnut.
Janet Evanovich
#47. Adult librarians are like lazy bakers: their patrons want a jelly doughnut, so they give them a jelly doughnut. Children's librarians are ambitious bakers: 'You like the jelly doughnut? I'll get you a jelly doughnut. But you should try my cruller, too. My cruller is gonna blow your mind, kid.
John Green
#48. I have, of all the inglorious things, a malignant hemorrhoid. What color bracelet does one wear for that? And where does one wear it? And what slogan is apropos? Perhaps that slogan can be sewn in needlepoint around the ruffle on a cover for my embarrassing little doughnut buttocks pillow.
P. J. O'Rourke
#50. A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
Roseanne Barr
#51. You never get used to being slotted into a giant doughnut's vagina.
Sara Wolf
#52. My porch feels as safe as a chocolate doughnut on an ant hill.
Daniel H. Wilson
#53. Between the optimist and the pessimist, the difference is droll. The optimist sees the doughnut; the pessimist the hole!
Oscar Wilde
#54. So why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the moooooooooooon?
Kurt Vonnegut
#55. I'm on my version of the protein diet, but there ain't no protein in it. It's a Krispy Kreme doughnut between two Cinnabons. And you soak it overnight in Red Bull. Then you chase it with a Snickers.
J. B. Smoove
#57. Think I'll go eat me a doughnut and take me a nap.
Ray Bradbury
#58. We're going to be in the wilderness in three days. There won't be doughnut stores.
Bill Bryson
#59. I secured a doughnut and coffee. I checked with Karrin and Valmont. Neither wanted to save the doughnuts from Nicodemus's corruptive influence. Not everyone can be a crusader like me.
Jim Butcher
#61. I'm still a doughnut, okay?" I said. "I want to be a bun. I really do. But I'm still a doughnut.
Jojo Moyes
#62. Don't look at the hole in the doughnut. Look at the whole doughnut.
Branch Rickey
#63. You wouldn't think you could get bored falling to your death ... But when it's a really, really long drop, there's a definite risk on ennui.
Tom Holt
#64. My advice: write down everything you eat. It's amazing what that "self honesty" can do for you. (Do you really want to have to confess that doughnut? I thought not.)
Alton Brown
#65. Never eat a heavily sugared doughnut before you go on TV.
John Cheever
#66. In spite of really intense competition for the job, I'm still my own worst enemy.
Tom Holt
#67. You go into any doughnut shop and look at three cops having coffee, I guarantee I look like one of them.
Dean Norris
#68. Why doesn't Prin go and get her own goddamn blistering bloody shitty jelly doughnuts?
Margaret Laurence
#69. If you keep your eye on the doughnut and do your work, that's all you can control. You can't control any of what's out there, outside yourself.
David Lynch
#70. Now, have I ever been tempted to break into a Krispy Kreme doughnut store in the middle of the night? Oh, yeah. God help us if I had a minibar stocked with cheesecake and chicken-fried steak.
Mike Huckabee
#72. People think that food cheers you up, that a doughnut cures all ills, but this only works for trivial complaints. When real disaster strikes, food chokes you.
Helena Dela
#73. I'll never forget my first time with you' Min said as she edged the doughnut off her finger. 'The earth moved, and then my mother asked my father who he was going down on at lunch.
Jennifer Crusie
#74. That's why when Peter started talking to me in homeroom this morning, i soaked up his attention like a doughnut dipped in coffee. The fact that his comments have left me soggy and wilted doesn't matter. That's the price you pay when you withdraw to the safety of anonymity
Randa Abdel-Fattah
#75. Keep your eye on the doughnut, not on the hole.
David Lynch
#76. It takes courage, of course, to step out of the fray, as it takes courage to do anything that's necessary, whether tending to a loved one on her deathbed or turning away from that sugarcoated doughnut.
Pico Iyer
#77. You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go.
Hillary Scott
#78. I bet you popped out of your momma with a gun in one hand and a doughnut in the other.
Rick Yancey
#79. If you mean doughnut when you say I'll give you the Big D, then yes. I'll take the D. If not then I'm not interested. -Lenore to a customer
Lani Lynn Vale
#80. Truthfully, everyone knows how to eat right. They know the difference between oatmeal and a jelly cream doughnut. They know how to walk. Everyone has this in their brain. When I started, we didn't have all this knowledge.
Richard Simmons
#81. What about reality, you ask? Well, as far as I'm concerned, reality can go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
Stephen King
#82. A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head and called it a night.
David Sedaris
#83. Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut," murmured Paul Lazzaro in his azure nest. "Go take a flying fuck at the moon
Kurt Vonnegut
#84. Discretion, like the hole in a doughnut, does not exist except as an area left open by a surrounding belt of restriction. It is therefore a relative concept. It always makes sense to ask, "Discretion under which standards?" or "Discretion as to which authority?
Ronald Dworkin
#85. The doughnut was definitely looking at him. Hello, sailor, it seemed to be saying.
Tom Holt
#86. As it turned out, everyone wanted a doughnut. Jace wanted two.
Cassandra Clare
#87. It's one thing, holding open the door for someone at a grocery store, or the library, or just about anyplace else. But the doughnut shop is a different thing altogether. This is a get-in-and-out-as-fast-as-you-can operation. There's no room for courtesy or chivalry here.
Linwood Barclay
#88. Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?
Kurt Vonnegut
#89. This is like a cookie, it tastes like a cookie having sex with a doughnut.
Daniel Handler
#90. She's my meal, but she no longer feeds from me." "Try it anyway. Maybe find her a doughnut or something,
Amelia Hutchins
#91. Even in the old days, we'd make an effort. When I'd go out to score on Eighth
Avenue, I'd get my junk and a chocolate doughnut. But I'd always also pick up one of
those pita-pocket health food sandwiches. You know, something really good for me.
Steven Tyler
#92. Whether you take the doughnut hole as a blank space or as an entity unto itself is a purely metaphysical question and does not affect the taste of the doughnut one bit.
Haruki Murakami
#93. Do you scent the same things I do?"
Ransom made a face when she described what she'd picked up from the passing vamp. "Yeah, except I don't say shit like 'cinnamon spice with a hint of burnt oak.' I say 'dude smells like an electrified tree with a side of doughnut topping.
Nalini Singh
#95. My dad thought I'd end up in the poorhouse or in doughnut shops with a bag full of reviews.
Henry Czerny
#96. When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you've been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you've got Type 2 Diabetes ... It's in bad taste if nothing else,
Anthony Bourdain
#97. Look not for too long into the doughnut, lest the doughnut look into you.
Tom Holt
#99. How you mean, 'doughnut hole'?" Ti-Jeanne had asked. "That's what they call it when an inner city collapses and people run to the suburbs," he'd answered.
Nalo Hopkinson
Famous Authors
Popular Topics
Scroll to Top
