Top 52 Boner Quotes: Famous Quotes & Sayings About Boner

#1. Look, I'm a guy. Your ass was touching my groin. Of course I'm going to pop a boner. It's a natural reaction.

Gwen Hayes

#2. I get a total lady boner. My lady bits are way too happy. So happy it's crying juicy tears.

Belle Aurora

#3. That pretty-boy king went down like a boner in church.

Laura Thalassa

#4. I'm getting a diamond-hard boner just thinking about it.

Tim Dorsey

#5. I became a diligent condom carrier and when most subsequent lovers had the good fortune to lie under my grunting, sweaty mass, they were always the grimacing recipient of an eager and rubber-sheathed penis boner.

Rob Delaney

#6. Holy shit, he was harder that a rod of steel, and as his leg ground out a torturous rhythm between my thighs, I realized I was hotter than spring in Seattle.
This was not a dream, this was real, and I had just fondled the boner of the Grim Reaper.

Tara West

#7. Life is like a boner: long and hard.

Jill Shalvis

#8. Thank you for all the birthday wishes, it's brought a tear to my eye, and a boner to my pants.

Jack Barakat

#9. Hydrogen, helium, lithium -"

She stared at him. "What are you doing now?"

"Listing the chemical elements so I can answer the door without a boner."

"And knowing my mother is on your porch isn't taking care of that?"

"Good point.

Jill Shalvis

#10. Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one's groin greets each day with such a gala spectacle of physical optimism?

C.D. Payne

#11. You got a boner over my little brother." I

T.J. Klune

#12. Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me omg boner.

Leah Raeder

#13. Dove hated that he knew way too much about her now. He knew she had a big girl boner for Johnson, he knew she'd tried to remove her crotch hair and had crapped her pants. It was Shameful with a capital Shit.

Debra Anastasia

#14. I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.

Doug Stanhope

#15. Ruger's in there too. Hands covered in blood so they arrested him. He had to tackle your girl to get the gun away from her. She'd gone all Pulp Fiction on us, ready to defend you by killing all of us if she had to. Crouched over your body like Wonder Woman. Gives me a boner just thinking about it.

Joanna Wylde

#16. I touched his hand, carefully. Not too intimate, but not some half-assed there-there pat, either. Would he understand? Usually the thought process for a seventeen-year-old boy went girl touching me>omg>boner.

Leah Raeder

#17. Suddenly he caught his reflection in the mirror behind her. His face was twisted into a dark scowl, and he was standing there naked, with a boner, and another man's business card in his hand.
He looked like a dick.

Sarah Mayberry

#18. His lap looked like it was already occupied
by a giant boner. It pressed against his pants like a circus tent pole. Elephants could fit under there. A lion tamer and some flying trapeze artists. A dancing bear, or five.

Juniper Bell

#19. I saw your foner." "Foner?" "Your female boner.

H.J. Bellus

#20. this siren totally popped a lady boner. Des

Laura Thalassa

#21. You're the one sitting there with a boner. You'll
terrify your charity guys, walking in with that thing pointing
at them.

Sherilee Gray

#22. I love blood and violence! I've got a boner for murder!

Sarge

#23. There was something about the man that was throwing her right off, and it had everything to do with the boner in his pants.

Rosanna Leo

#24. McCleary was an unpolished, semi attractive man in his late thirties or early forties. His hair was grey. His suit was cheap. His cologne was cheaper and his attitude was a hundred percent asshole. He have me an instant boner.

Dani Alexander

#25. Up to you if you want to go out with a
boner like some creepy old perv.

Sherilee Gray

#26. She was the Little Red Riding Hood in this situation and I was the Big Bad Wolf with a big bad boner.

Penelope Ward

#27. Dontcha mean you wanna get your eyes all over your girl, what's it been, an hour since ya seen her? Ah, can't beat young love, son. Enjoy it while it lasts, then they all turn into my old lady with the nagging. But..I still get a boner every time I see my Helen.

V. Theia

#28. You're one messed-up piece of work."
"Yeah, but you're starting to worry that you might like me," I say confidently. "Considering I also give you a boner, shit's gonna get reaaaaal complicated here in the next few months.

Lauren Layne

#29. Holy mother of whoring nuns she's hot. Fuck! I haven't just crossed the border into boner territory, Mr Happy's erected a tent from my jeans and is setting up camp there.

Carmen Jenner

#30. Holy crap, you are like a dog with a bone," I commented to Ryan.
"Or just one with a boner.

Stacey Marie Brown

#31. Apparently I had a boner in the acceptance video

Ashton Irwin

#32. Hey self, Stop having a lady boner moment!

Georgia Cates

#33. Get your fang boner under control. Your freaking out my person

Alanea Alder

#34. She kissed my cheek and pulled away quickly, heading off into the crowd of people, leaving me standing in the middle of the kitchen with a freaking boner as usual.

Kirsty Moseley

#35. You know Twilight?" He blinks. "Excuse me?" "Twilight. The vampire book." His wary eyes study my face. "What about it?" "Okay, so you know how Bella's blood is extra special? Like how it gives Edward a raging boner every time he's around her?

Elle Kennedy

#36. That's an interesting philosophical question. When your boner goes away, is that one gone ... forever?

Adam Carolla

#37. Remember the Wizard Archer's drill arrows that rescued the entombed miners? Well, we're drilling holes in your swiss cheese building to rescue you from a costly boner!

Robert Bernstein

#38. Letter to My Boner

January Nelson

#39. Did I arch my back when his gazes finally made it to my chest? Of course I did. And was rewarded with a nostril flare, the equivalent of a facial boner.

Alice Clayton

#40. Could you stand still please?' Sylvia says in an irritated voice. If she had sweaty balls and an almost-boner she wouldn't be so judgmental. Am I right, or am I right?

Tara Sivec

#41. Are you wearing the red heels? She asked.
Yes.
God, she replied, his boner is going to be ENORMOUS.

Christina Lauren

#42. But I don't follow Kate. And the reason is simple: Have you ever tried to run with a boner staring up at you?

No?

Well, it's damn near impossible.

Emma Chase

#43. No charge for my expert services," he said. "Strictly pro boner.

Tracy Brogan

#44. You know what's not sexy?" I pushed his hand away. "Barbies. Barbies are not sexy."
"But I bought condoms," he said. "I even practiced putting one on!"
The lost-puppy look on his face made me smile. "I'm proud of you, Boner Man, but that's not enough.

Laurie Halse Anderson

#45. Der, die, das, dem, den, des. German's six ways of saying 'the', like six sexual positions you never knew existed. Hey, I just sprung a boner.

Barry Webster

#46. You should approach each book
you should approach life
with the real possibility that you might get a metaphorical boner at any point.

Sherman Alexie

#47. Please. The boy gets a boner every time you walk into the room.
My eyes pop back open. Does she mean that figuratively or has she actually seen something? No. Focus, Anna.

Stephanie Perkins