Top 46 Tracy Brogan Quotes
#2. She's buying sex toys now, you know. Sex toys for herself. Where the hell does that leave me? Have you ever seen a Vagazzler? That thing can give her an orgasm and then make her a Frappuccino. I can't compete with that. I don't know how to make a Frappuccino.
Tracy Brogan
#3. May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship, and your hearts joined forever in love. To the bride and groom.
Tracy Brogan
#4. Her life was more like a series of tattered Post-it notes with hastily scribbled goals written in dull pencil. Some of them stuck. Lots of them didn't.
Tracy Brogan
#5. It's nice to see you. Aimee calls you Bigfoot, by the way."
"Bigfoot?"
"Yeah, you know, like a mythical creature that people say they've seen in the wild but no one knows for sure if it's real. That's you ...
Tracy Brogan
#6. the news had spread like Nutella over a warm
Tracy Brogan
#7. Turns out you can't outswim a shark so your best bet is just to punch it right in the nose." The
Tracy Brogan
#9. He held up my most prized possession, a sweatshirt from spring break during my senior year of college. It was faded, tattered, and perfect for wearing while eating peanut butter with your fingers and crying about your incredibly shitty marriage.
Tracy Brogan
#10. We don't have to tell secrets. We don't have to talk at all. We could just, you know, kiss . . . and stuff.
Tracy Brogan
#11. Love is a grave mental disease." "Shakespeare?" Kyle shook his head. "Plato.
Tracy Brogan
#12. And our marriage dissolved, like margarita salt on the tongue, leaving behind the bitter aftertaste of something that started out sweet but ended sour.
Tracy Brogan
#13. Her head practically swiveled, and her laser-beam stare honed in on Ryan, thoroughly scrutinizing him. He'd felt less violated after a TSA strip search.
Tracy Brogan
#14. You're so worried about what everybody else thinks you can't decide what you want for yourself.
Tracy Brogan
#15. Life had a way of shifting under her feet like quicksand and she had learned to just make the best of it. Like Gigi always said, 'when God closes a door, he shoves you out the window.
Tracy Brogan
#16. No charge for my expert services," he said. "Strictly pro boner.
Tracy Brogan
#17. Oh, fine then. Let the Patron Saint of Desperate Housewives bestow upon us the blessings of his company.
Tracy Brogan
#18. Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties.
Tracy Brogan
#20. you can't fight against the universal balance. Without the despair of today we can't experience the joy of tomorrow.
Tracy Brogan
#21. There are no bears on the island."
"Really, are you sure because I was hiking with my Dad and I'm sure I saw one? Either that or it was a humongous man-eating badger, with fangs. It might have been frothing at the mouth."
"Man-eating, huh? No problem then. I'm a girl.
Tracy Brogan
#22. A disaster wrapped in a catastrophe sitting on a pile of misfortune.
Tracy Brogan
#24. But I promise, if you start looking for the best in people, you'll be very surprised at what you find.
Tracy Brogan
#25. Apparently while I was reading
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Dating, he'd read The Guide to Dating a Complete Idiot.
Tracy Brogan
#26. it's not the obstacles in our life that define us. It's the grace we display when overcoming them.
Tracy Brogan
#27. Private fireworks are far superior to public fireworks.
Tracy Brogan
#28. whatever life hands you, deal with it. You can't hide. Whoever you are, whatever you've done, whatever the circumstances, own it. Be yourself, don't try to hide, don't try to be someone or something you're not.
Tracy Brogan
#30. Can you think of anything that you might need?" I looked back over my shoulder at him. I was about to cross a boundary no woman ever wanted to cross. "There is, but I just can't ask you." His smile was patient. "Try me." "Tampons." He burst out laughing.
Tracy Brogan
#31. So, let me get this straight," she said. "You're not afraid to scale Mount McKinley or swim in shark-infested waters, but you're scared of getting another scolding from your mother?
Tracy Brogan
#32. Could be a cold night so I guess I'll start a fire."
"A fire? Have you got wood?"
A curve played at the corner of his mouth. "Oh, yeah. I got wood."
The door slammed before she realized what she'd said.
Tracy Brogan
#33. Calamity-ville horror plagued by mold and termites and a faulty foundation.
Tracy Brogan
#35. She felt his glances, like butterfly wings, resting and then fluttering away.
Tracy Brogan
#36. Little Junior Hampton was called Little Junior Hampton because his father was Big Junior Hampton, and his grandfather was Old Junior Hampton.
Tracy Brogan
#37. Being surrounded by the people you loved is what made life ... well, life.
Tracy Brogan
#38. He put me in charge of chopping vegetables. I considered cutting my finger so he'd have to hold my hand to examine it, but that seemed a little drastic. Maybe I could be captivating without resorting to self-mutilation.
Tracy Brogan
#40. Scolding had made an impact. She seemed resigned
Tracy Brogan
#41. He winked at me over her head, causing my bra to try and unclasp itself in sweet surrender.
Tracy Brogan
#42. And in this case, the devil didn't wear Prada so much as she wore a pink nylon tracksuit, polka-dotted bifocals, and answered to the name Gigi.
Tracy Brogan
#43. That place is turning into the Hotel California.
You know, you can check in, but you can never leave.
Tracy Brogan
#44. Sugar, you can't control what people think or what they do. You can only control how you react to it. Bottom line is you need to decide who it is you're living this life for. You or them?
Tracy Brogan
#45. Don't worry, darling. These things happen. Des will understand. Did you at least remember to stroke his eagle? "What?" I gasped. His eagle. You know how much men like to talk about themselves. "Ego", Fontaine said, interpreting.
Tracy Brogan
#46. Pheromones didn't care about tomorrow. They didn't care about education or employment or age.
Tracy Brogan
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