Being A Joke Quotes

#1. You cannot be a powerful and life-changing presence to some people without being a joke or an embarrassment to others.

Mark Manson

#2. I can take a joke," she tells me, sounding insulted.
"Yeah? When?"
"When it's not being delivered by a childish jackass who thinks he's God's gift to women."
"I am not childish." God's gift on the other hand? My record speaks for itself.
"Oh, bite me."
I wish.

Emma Chase

#3. One of my favorite things on the show was just getting to do my own monologue and talking about someone who killed themselves, or making a joke about some horrible tragedy - I love being able to fight for and get on TV. I just think it's so different.

Anthony Jeselnik

#4. All producers encourage you, whatever it is, to make it more-so. If you've got a joke, can it be funnier? If you've got an action sequence, can it be more exciting? That's the nature of being a producer.

Walter Hill

#5. People do kill themselves, you know, Miranda, when they think their whole reason for living is being taken away from them. Even the fact that other people think their suffering is a joke isn't enough to shake them out of it.

Robert Galbraith

#6. I am, I believe, a young man on whom a grand joke is being played, fated to live one century, perhaps a second, perhaps a third, only to be scrubbed and rescrubbed from the record, to exit, if I ever do, as if I'd never existed at all.

Daniel Kraus

#7. And she realized that she still wanted Jared when all thoughts of passion were dead, when other consolation seemed like a cruel joke - that she wanted to be with him when the thought of being with anyone else was unbearable, when the thought of someone else touching her made her want to scream.

Sarah Rees Brennan

#8. Every particle being connected with every other; you can't fart without changing the balance in the universe. It makes living a funny joke with nobody around to laugh.

Philip K. Dick

#9. Okay, brace yourselves for a really hilarious joke here: Being a vampire sucks.

Tamara Summers

#10. Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect it has on the audience. No one wants to see someone talk who takes themselves too seriously.

Billy Gardell

#11. I've never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career I'd be so happy to do until I die. I always joke to myself that I want to have a postmortem Academy Award Nomination.

Ansel Elgort

#12. Being broke is a joke, I never found it funny / That's why I count my blessings / As much as I count my money ...

Fabolous

#13. Senator John Kerry is in trouble for making a joke about soldiers being uneducated. As a result, Kerry promised to stop making jokes and stick to boring people.

Conan O'Brien

#14. Is that another sort of joke?" asked the old man. "You've no excuse for being bored anywhere. When I was your age I had never heard of such a thing.

Henry James

#15. What is the universe? Is it a great 3D movie in which we are the unwilling actors? Is it a cosmic joke, a giant computer, a work of art by a Supreme Being or simply an experiment? The problem in trying to understand the universe is that we have nothing to compare it to.

Heinz Pagels

#16. I joke that being a university president is akin to being a pinata. But there are also notions of redemption.

Gordon Gee

#17. I am one of those guys who could do the most emotional scene and crack a joke instantly. I'm lucky. I'm just like an idiot savant. I have one enormously enjoyable, pleasurable - for me - talent, which is being able to act.

James Woods

#18. The sad thing is, I was discovering that you almost have to make a joke of being good to strangers. Up and down the country, these people doing their good deeds were doubtless being seen as slightly eccentric, when in reality and in an ideal world they should be deemed the most normal people of all.

Danny Wallace

#19. I have been trying for a long time to understand God. Now I have made friends with him. To love him truly you must love change, and you must love a joke, these being the true inclinations of his own heart.

Isak Dinesen

#20. I would like to see all this as a big joke that is being played upon us, but I have seen what was wrought in the past
the men who were destroyed without their being lifted from the dungheap of poverty, without recourse to justice.

F. Sionil Jose

#21. I typically start out almost every speech I give making some kind of joke about me being in a wheelchair.

Greg Abbott

#22. There are precedents for what happens when societies allow the divide between rich and poor to get so huge that it stops being funny and starts becoming a sick, blood-boiling joke. If you had a Tardis, you could go back to 1917 and ask the Russian royal family how it was all going.

John Niven

#23. Etgar means "challenge." And my family name is Keret, which means "urban." So my name is "urban challenge." My joke is, it's a good description of a birth but a strange name for a human being.

Etgar Keret

#24. Instead of being a well-known painter, I became everybody's favorite dirty joke. Come to think of it, teaching masturbation skills is pretty weird.

Betty Dodson

#25. Hour-long TV is no joke. It tests you as a human being. It makes you a stronger person, but it's really crazy.

Rebecca Romijn

#26. It strikes fear to my heart when Peter talks of later being a criminal, or of gambling; although it's meant as a joke, of course, it gives me the feeling that he's afraid of his own weakness.

Anne Frank

#27. He wrote, You're being crazy. You're going to catch a cold.
I already have a cold.
You are going to catch a colder.
I could not believe he was making a joke. And I could not believe I laughed.

Jonathan Safran Foer

#28. I don't mind being the brunt of a joke, so long as it's a good one.

Joey McIntyre

#29. Why would you want to work for a living if you could just joke around? Being a celebrity expands your commercial possibilities.

Jerry Seinfeld

#30. Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it's got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can't just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it's got to be funny.

Betty White

#31. I was really gifted at being able to construct a joke, but it's like they weren't even memorable, my first jokes, because they were so about nothing.

Wanda Sykes

#32. I am so pathetic with machines in real life, it's not a joke. I'd rather walk, or even run, than take the car out myself. I like to be driven around. Yes, I like fancy cars, and fancy bikes, too. It's my dream to learn how to ride one myself, but for now, I am content being driven around.

Bipasha Basu

#33. I don't want people to leave the show being upset. So if I am trying to do a new joke, and sometimes I will talk about things like gun control or hostile massacre and I notice people being upset I will change the direction.

Jim Jefferies

#34. In a perfect
world I would be taller, you would be alive,
and chickens could cross the road without
being the subject of a joke.

Suzanne Wrightt

#35. Once you realize what a joke everything is, being the Comedian is the only thing that makes sense.

Alan Moore

#36. I've always been a jokester. The things I got in trouble for, when I was little, was always about making a joke or setting up a prank or being silly when I should be paying attention.

Will Smith

#37. It's unpleasantly like being drunk."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"You ask a glass of water.

Douglas Adams

#38. Being an author sucks, doesn't it? It's like telling a joke and nobody laughs for two years.

Scott Westerfeld

#39. Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it.

Jim Gaffigan

#40. But if you were Charlotte, and you had been feeling that life was some cosmic joke that had no punchline, and in the space of a moment you had gone from being Charlotte-without-a-kitten to being Charlotte-with-a-kitten, you too would have found it nothing short of remarkable.

Anne Ursu

#41. All the time the joke is that the word "mine" in its fully possessive sense cannot be uttered by a human being about anything. In the long run either [Satan] or God will say "mine" of each thing that exists, and specially of each man.

C.S. Lewis

#42. New York was at the forefront of rap, so because of all the great people who have gone before me, being a rapper from Queens, I have to live up to those standards. I'm basically just a regular guy who says what he feels and likes to joke. I like long walks on the beach ... and I love rap.

Action Bronson

#43. Their nasty whispering made me angry. They had a neat way of tucking their point inside something softseeming and neighborly. The cutting edge was hidden in a joke or a piece of advice. It was like being sliced by a tiny blade hidden in a goose feather; it took a moment to realize the wound.

Ananda Braxton-Smith

#44. A sense of humor is rare. It isn't telling a joke about how there are three ways to get to heaven. It's being in a restaurant and hearing someone say, Everyone's got their tale of woe, and then turning around and saying, Unfortunately, in life, there's more woe than tail.

Rodney Dangerfield

#45. I'm about being funny. If I can make a joke using profanity, I will. But for the most part, that can get awfully old and boring.

Howard Stern

#46. I think when the joke comes from the situation in a horror film, it's really great. I don't like jokey horror films like where people are cracking a joke or being post-modern about it.

Guillermo Del Toro

#47. I forgot, being too interested myself, that he's a king, and does not see things rationally, but as a king. All I've told him means to him simply that his power is threatened, his kingdom is a dust mote in space, his kingship is a joke to men who rule a hundred worlds.

Ursula K. Le Guin

#48. On a spiritual level, on a place where you want to be a better human being and listen more, I try. I joke, but it has. I mean, I don't consider myself a card-carrying Buddhist, you know. But I do believe deeply in the ideas, and I think anytime you have interest in anything, it somehow humbles you.

Jake Gyllenhaal

#49. The stuff about film being a collaborative medium is no joke.

Alex Gibney

#50. I will do almost anything for the sake of a joke or for the sake of someone's real belief in something to help tell a story. I will not do something shocking for the sake of being nasty. If it's not hurting anyone's feelings, I'm in on the joke.

Selma Blair

#51. I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show.

Michael Phelps

#52. We have a new joke on the reservation: 'What is cultural deprivation?' Answer: 'Being an upper-middle class white kid living in a split-level suburban home with a color TV.'

John Fire Lame Deer

#53. If somebody accuses you in a story of being a crook, you can demand that they prove it. But if a comic says it and you protest, people say, 'What's the matter, you can't take a joke?

Robert Orben

#54. In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.

Lea Thompson

#55. Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they're down, and when they're having a good time, I can carry on the joke.

John Krasinski

#56. Being raised Catholic myself, I think people who are Catholic tend to carry a lot of guilt. It's almost a joke.

Linda Cardellini

#57. Being a parent is not for the faint of heart. I may joke about knowing fear, but the fact is, the first time I ever knew real fear was the day Charlotte, my first child, was born. Suddenly there is someone in the world you care about more than anything.

Harlan Coben

#58. I love people with strong convictions, because we are living in a very PC world. You can't crack a joke without it being in the headlines.

Imelda May

#59. Few years ago [Donald] Trump was being roasted by Comedy Central. They always have rules about things that you can't joke about. Donald Trump's rule at that time, the only thing that you couldn't joke about was a suggestion that he has less money that he claimed to.

Ben Domenech

#60. A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own.

Paul Feig

#61. And I know I'm sarcastic and defensive and I make a joke out of everything and am highly resistant to anything that reeks of sentimental corniness, but I'm giving you my heart anyway because being with you feels like home, and I know you won't break it.

Shauna Cross

#62. I always joke that my kids' favorite holiday is Father's Day. They love the way I celebrate the occasion by writing each of them a thank-you letter and a generous check. It's my way of letting them know how much I appreciate the great pleasure and privilege of being their dad.

Wayne Dyer

#63. Wouldn't it be a helluva joke if all this were really burnt cork and you people were being tolerant for nuthin'?

Dick Gregory

#64. I hadn't endured being the butt of a joke in a long time,

Tijan

#65. It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.

Karl Pilkington

#66. That was part of being a girl--you were resigned to whatever feedback you'd get. If you got mad, you were crazy, and if you didn't react, you were a bitch. The only thing you could do was smile from the corner they'd backed you into. Implicate yourself in the joke even if the joke was always on you.

Emma Cline

#67. The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to provoke to get a reaction.

Robin Williams

#68. I love New Zealand. Every time I'm in New Zealand someone makes a joke about it being mostly sheep, which I think is unfair, because it's mostly nice people. It's mostly nice people and really wonderful scenery.

Patrick Stump

#69. In Japan, you have no idea what they are saying, and they can't help you either. Nothing makes any sense. They're very polite, but you feel like a joke is being played on you the entire time you're there.

Bill Murray

#70. Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke ... She will need her sisterhood.

Gloria Steinem

#71. When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my siblings and me (in addition to being all the other things a mom is), and I was always grateful for that because I knew she was someone I could talk to and joke with, and argue with and that nothing would ever harm that friendship.

Marlo Thomas

#72. No matter where they are or who they're with, dogs are incapable of being anything but themselves. Show me a dog that puts on airs or laughs politely at an unfunny joke and I'll show you a human in a dog costume, possibly one owned and licensed by the Walt Disney Company.

Meghan Daum

#73. Actually, being married to me probably would be something of a joke ... but yeah, I mean it. What do you think?

Danielle Steel

#74. I find it deeply upsetting when I see justice not being served. How do we as human beings deal with the unknown? The West Memphis Three trial is a joke on so many different levels.

Atom Egoyan

#75. Jack throws his hands up. Okay, is this some kind of a joke? Seriously, you are being the voice of reason here? I can't handle this. Please start freaking out.

Elizabeth Eulberg