Top 100 A Unicorn Quotes
#1. Advice to Young Poets
Never pretend
to be a unicorn
by sticking a plunger on your head.
Martin Espada
#2. What a magical place," she whispered in an awed voice. "I expect a unicorn or fairies to appear."
"What would the fairies be doing?" Shermont asked. "Waltzing with the butterflies," she answered before thinking.
Laurie Brown
#4. That boy is sprung on you and he is a nice guy. A superhot, supersexy nice guy. Do you know how rare that is? He's like a goddamn unicorn.
Jay Crownover
#5. Horse: Fuckin' knight in shining armor. Might wanna trade your bike in for a pretty pink unicorn to ride, seein' as you're such a special snowflake and all.
Joanna Wylde
#6. Of all the various unpleasant ways to be aroused from a sound sleep, one of the worst is the noise of a dragon and a unicorn playing tag. Myth Conceptions by Robert Asprin
Robert Asprin
#7. Mike Hawk!" Bennett practically yelled at me, dropping his hand. His eyes were red from laughing. "How am I supposed to keep it together over that? That's like meeting a fucking unicorn.
Christina Lauren
#8. The magician stood erect, menacing the attackers with demons, metamorphoses, paralyzing ailments, and secret judo holds. Molly picked up a rock.
Peter S. Beagle
#9. No place is more enchanted than where a unicorn has been born.
Peter S. Beagle
#10. I always tell girls who say they want to start a band but don't have any talent, 'Well, neither do I.' I mean, I can carry a tune, but anyone who picks up a bass can figure it out. You don't have to have magic unicorn powers.
Kathleen Hanna
#11. I had a naked incubus in my bedroom. With a frying pan of half-cooked bacon, and a hard-on. And a unicorn bite on his ass. Christ, this was turning out to be a weird morning.
Allison Pang
#12. I didn't love stickers and unicorns and stuff, but just if I were to ride on the back of a beast to work, I want it to be a frickin' unicorn.
Laura Benanti
#13. Leaving millions dead or dying in your wake." The Unicorn nodded. "Billions, if all goes well. The survivors will need a leader.
Bryan Fields
#14. I'm like a unicorn; I'm a midlist writer who hasn't done anything else but write. But because I wasn't amazingly famous, I didn't become Stephanie Meyer, or even a huge literary name like a Jonathan Franzen or a Joshua Ferris.
Gabrielle Zevin
#15. So... Italian gelato. Take the deliciousness of a regular ice-cream cone, times it by a million, then sprinkle it with crushed-up unicorn horns.
Jenna Evans Welch
#16. So quit looking for 'the one'. You have a better chance of finding an Oompa Loompa riding a unicorn, fighting Bigfoot.
Matt Chandler
#18. it is a monstrous thing, to slay a unicorn
J.K. Rowling
#19. Yep. His epic good looks without succumbing to the adorable label had made him a man-unicorn in my mind. Or a merman. Or a Loch Ness Monstman. He was a mystical creature.
Penny Reid
#20. It was a gorgeous day. A fucking gorgeous day. It was one of those bright, breezy, unicorn-and-puppy mornings. I mean, the unicorns weren't out yet. They tend to be more nocturnal to increase the odds of picking up virgins at nightclubs, but there were a couple pegasi kicking it overhead.
Kate Danley
#22. He is my unicorn, though ... That's how I felt falling in love with him, as if I'd found a creature of myth.
Rivka Galchen
#23. The rainbow in place of the unicorn? Why didn't God just restore the unicorn? We animals would have been happier with that, instead of a big hint in the sky about God's magnanimity every time it stopped raining.
Julian Barnes
#24. I'm saying let's go see if we can find some horses or zebras before we start a unicorn hunt.
James S.A. Corey
#25. They Call her the Devourer."
"I'm guessing she's not a unicorn princess.
Zoraida Cordova
#26. The unicorn : I'm not a chihuahua, you know.
Abby : You hump my leg like one.
Allison Pang
#27. The question of historicity and actuality with regard to gods and unicorns is a relatively trifling matter which may be left to antiquarians and biologists, for both the god and the unicorn had a business to perform greater than any mere existence in the flesh could explain or provide a basis for.
Odell Shepard
#28. The Prancer stepped back and studied her for a moment. Then, with a gleam in his eye, he said, 'All unicorns know the Land. Few humans do. But no unicorn knows how to brew ale.'
'I'm glad humans have some use.'
'Only those who can brew ale.
Chrys Cymri
#29. If you can make a mechanical horse, why wouldn't you make it a unicorn?
A.W. Exley
#30. So you can sense her aura and stuff, right?" Kail asked as he got to his feet. "So anything I say about her not being a unicorn--
Patrick Weekes
#32. The thing was, Colton was confident and self-assured, maybe even a little cocky, but he wasn't arrogant. He was like a unicorn.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#33. When someone told me I live in a fantasy land, I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Unknown
#34. I know, and I do trust you, but when you said it was a surprise I thought you meant 'Here, Luce. I got you a unicorn.' not 'Here, Luce, jump in the river.
Jay McLean
#35. All right, all right for you, you pretentious kneecap! How would you like a punch in the eye?
Peter S. Beagle
#36. Yes. The elven magi are very old, but not old enough to remember that all of this has happened before."
Parmida frowned. "Just how old are you?"
"I am older than a thousand of your suns," the unicorn answered.
". . . and that means?
Ash Gray
#37. You could make friends with a possessed unicorn, couldn't you?"
"Probably so. We both fart rainbows.
Jamie Farrell
#39. Would you believe it's harder to find a virgin than a unicorn in New York?
Naomi Novik
#40. Laughing, Bracken threw his sword aside and extended a hand towards the wizard. "To me," he said ... The unicorn horn lept from the wizard's hand and streaked to Bracken, who caught it effortlessly. In his grasp the horn immediately transformed into a sword ...
Brandon Mull
#41. It's mind-blowing and delicious and better
than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at
the end of a rainbow.
Tara Sivec
#42. from the poem Holographic Personality Disgrace:
Some people are such assholes that saying, "Look, again, I'm sorry I cut off my thumb and glued it to your baby's head because I thought you'd like him better as a unicorn" means nothing to them.
Sam Pink
#44. It is no shame to lose to me, mortal. Even among mythical creatures there are very few who can give a unicorn a good game.
Roger Zelazny
#45. When I was five, my mother and sister sat me up on the kitchen counter and explained the facts of life: the Easter Bunny didn't exist, Elijah was God's invisible friend, with any luck Nana would die soon and If I ever saw a unicorn, I should kill it or catch it for cash.
Sloane Crosley
#46. Mum shoots him a hard stare that could kill the happiest unicorn in the world stone dead with pure fear.
Sarah Dalton
#47. I'm a serious geek. I mean I seriously want to own a unicorn when I'm older ... or a Pegasus ... yeah Pegasus sounds better.
Henry Cavill
#48. The bottom line is: if you were a jerk in your original life, you're probably going to be a bigger undead jerk, If you were a decent person, say a juvenile-services librarian with a secret collection of unicorn figurines, you're probably going to be a kinder, gentler vampire.
Molly Harper
#49. She just shook her head and pulled out a small bottle of some random pop star's signature perfume, spritzing me with the sickly-sweet smell.
"Oh, come on Ash, that smells like a unicorn fart," I cried, recoiling at the overpowering, candylike smell.
Cara Lynn Shultz
#50. There are these mythic unicorn-y tales of method acting, but Marlon [Brando] wanted to have a good time.
Johnny Depp
#51. You're like a motherfucking unicorn. Do you know any other male slash writers who bang chicks??
Em Anthony
#52. There is never any certainty of the unseen. We hope. That's what we do as Christians, and that's what I do with unicorns. Maybe like C. S. Lewis's jewel, that glimpse of a unicorn I sometimes see is a glimpse of Jesus.
Colleen Coble
#53. All four of them looked at Diane as if she had said Kendel had just returned from her trip and had brought them a unicorn skeleton.
Beverly Connor
#54. He is a unicorn. I want to gently capture him and bring him back to my lab for research.
Amanda Mosher
#55. I smelled it before i saw it, and the same unicorn I'd met on a field trip with Jack pranced up, pleased as anyting to see me again. It wasn't mutual.
"It's so cute, isn't it?" Arianna said dreamily.
"Are we seeing the same creature? It's like a demented goat with a bone growth
Kiersten White
#56. Get the hell out of here. You're an accountant? You?" He must be joking . Beautiful and highly intelligent? I feel like I've found a unicorn.
Daniels, J. (2014-05-02). Sweet Addiction (Kindle Locations 280-281). . Kindle Edition.
J. Daniels
#57. So this is what it's about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s'mores with a gnome and a mountain man."
"Yep"
"What's your plan for tomorrow? Brunch with a unicorn?
Ilona Andrews
#59. That was like seeing a dodo and a unicorn all wrapped up in one
Rachel Maddow
#60. It soon transpired, however, that the unicorn only approached youthful maidens, paying absolutely no attention to older ones. Being a wise creature, the unicorn indubitably knows that remaining too long in the state of maidenhood is suspicious and counter to the natural order. Physiologus
Andrzej Sapkowski
#61. Gordian pays you to sleep with unicorn hunters. That's the definition of a whore.
Diana Peterfreund
#62. Everyone says social media is a unicorn, but maybe it's just a horse?
Jay Baer
#63. [He] was always here to offer cups of good clear Walden Pond, or shout down the deep well of Shakespeare and listen, with satisfaction, for echoes. Here the lion and the hartebeest lay together, here the jackass became a unicorn.
Ray Bradbury
#64. Not a unicorn's chance in Hell," Owen grunted.
"Now, what would a unicorn be doing in Hell?" Liam asked.
"You can ask him when you get there.
Abigail Roux
#65. If I'm talking to a guy who's straight and cute and single, I'm like 'are you a unicorn?'
Margaret Cho
#66. If she had touched me," he said very softly, "I would have been hers and not my own, not ever again. I wanted her to touch me but I could not let her. No cat will. We let human beings caress us because it is pleasant enough and calms them - but not her. The price is more than a cat can pay.
Peter S. Beagle
#67. Show me a writer that doesn't use their craft as a coping mechanism and I'll show you my unicorn.
Angelina Assanti
#68. The only thing that would make her jealous would be if I led a parade riding a unicorn while ballerinas sang love songs.
Brandon Mull
#69. Yancey crawled from her tangled bed one morning and assembled her long limbs and sharp bones into something as exotic and seductive to the eye as a peacock or a griffin or a unicorn.
Anne Rivers Siddons
#73. It's like finding a magical unicorn in a high school full of cattle.
Sara Farizan
#74. Just roll me in fairy dust and call me a unicorn.
Lita Burke
#75. The mist hung in the air like a prancing unicorn.
Graham Joyce
#76. Balance. It's like a unicorn; we've heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven't actually seen one. I'm beginning to think it isn't a thing.
Jen Hatmaker
#77. I had this dream about you. We went hunting up in the mountains and I caught a unicorn. You told me now I know how it feels to be you.
Crystal Woods
#78. With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.
Chuck Palahniuk
#79. You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.
Tucker Max
#80. the last time I saw commercial laying hens administered hormones, they were given by a unicorn, and brought onto the farm by one of the giant alligators from the sewers.
Marc Draco
#82. Let us only hate hatred; and once give love a play, we will fall in love with a unicorn.
Herman Melville
#83. Oh please," Scout said."Don't take that tone with me. You know you'd love to have a minion. Someone at your beck and call. Someone to do your bidding. How many times have you said to yourself," Self, I need a unicorn to run errands and such?
Chloe Neill
#84. I glanced back at my merry little band of travelers. A hornless gay unicorn. A half-giant. A knight who was a jerk but that I wanted to have for breakfast.
T.J. Klune
#85. It's like learning to ride a unicorn. You never forget.
Eoin Colfer
#86. He looked closely. It was very disconcerting to have your gay unicorn best friend studying your penis that intensely. Finally, he gave his verdict. "It's a very nice penis." "Thank
T.J. Klune
#87. Those were not vampires.
If sunlight makes you sparkle,
you're a unicorn.
Ryan Mecum
#88. Are you sure this is a good idea?' whispered the unicorn.
'No,' said Rupert. 'But it's our best chance to find a dragon.'
'Frankly, that doesn't strike me as such a hot idea either,' muttered the unicorn.
Simon R. Green
#89. Is there n-nothing you can do?" Parmida asked, wiping her tears away with the heel of her hand.
The unicorn laughed softly. "She asks for a boon after shooting me in the ass.
Ash Gray
#90. Another chunk of my childhood dreams had just run down the reality drain in the form of a horny unicorn, no less.
Allison Pang
#91. I really am a unicorn?' I asked again.
'You think Janis and I escaped from an asylum, don't you?' she teased.
'I hope you're not,' I said, horrified at the thought of being turned into a lunatic like them.
Deepika Kumaaraguru
#92. But this girl, she lived in a bubble, and seeing her out at a frat party was like spotting a unicorn.
Ilsa Madden-Mills
#93. Everything today has been heavy and brown. Bring me a Unicorn to ride about the town.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh
#94. I had to harden all of my soft edges if I was going to survive my new life as a tasty Nutella unicorn,
Jaymin Eve
#95. Float like a butterfly, sting like a unicorn ;)
T.J. Klune
#96. If your unicorn shifts disconcertingly between a goat, a horse, a rhinoceros, a marine mammal from the North Atlantic, assorted Tibetan ungulates and a six-eyed ass whose ears will terrify, the work of this book is almost done.
Chris Lavers
#97. I always thought unicorns were made from sunshine and rainbows and good feelings. Like you just appeared one day in a field filled with flowers and a big fat sunbeam falling all around you. And there'd be butterflies or something. That sounded way pretty. And realistic for unicorn creation.
T.J. Klune
#98. A unicorn is a donkey from the future
Joe Rogan
#99. A unicorn is nothing more than a big horse that comes to a point, anyway. Nothing to get so excited about.
Terry Pratchett
#100. Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then, always be a unicorn.
Jaime Murray
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