Top 100 Your Grandmother Quotes
#1. In some circles, admitting you love Top 40 radio is tantamount to bragging you gave your grandmother the clap, in church, in the front row at your aunt's funeral, but those are the circles I avoid like the plague or, for that matter, the clap.
Rob Sheffield
#2. She'd read once that if you ran into a bear in the woods you should avoid eye contact and you shouldn't run away, but all she knew about wolves is that you should never tell them how to find your grandmother's house.
Anne Ursu
#3. Well, Chrissy, I'm afraid your grandmother's Irish Alzheimer's has gotten quite advanced - she's forgotten everything but her grudges.
J. Courtney Sullivan
#4. When you a ghetto star, when you a hood star, you gonna take care of your grandmother, your mother. When you on that next level, you gotta take care of the city, the streets.
Young Jeezy
#5. He looked as if he'd got a lot of pleasure out of going ten rounds with your grandmother and making sure she went the whole distance.
Richard Brautigan
#6. You, your grandmother, the chairman----YOU'RE ALL ABUNCH OF FRIGGIN' IDIOTS!!!"
~Haruhi
Bisco Hatori
#7. The corners of her mouth turned up in a wry smile. Better and better. Your grandmother's looks and your grandfather's brains. A deadly combination, I must say.
Angela Misri
#8. Om Namah Shivaya.
I honor the divinity that resides within me.
... I repeat it again. Again. And again. It's not so much that I'm meditating as unpacking the mantra carefully, the way you would unpack your grandmother's best china if it had been stored in a box for a long time, unused.
Elizabeth Gilbert
#9. Eating meat is the most disgusting thing I can think of. It's like biting into your grandmother.
Steven Morrissey
#10. Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies ... without an oven.
George Carlin
#11. The great thing about civility is that it does not require you to agree with or approve of anything. You don't even have to love your neighbor to be civil. You just have to treat your neighbor the same way you would like your neighbor to treat your grandmother, or your child.
Barbara Brown Taylor
#12. No Hello.
No Hi, Pierce. Nice right hook you have there.
No It's lovely to see you. Sorry about your counselor being killed last night. Yes, I see your grandmother is a Fury even though I told you none was after you. I guess I was wrong about that.
Just Let's go.
Meg Cabot
#13. You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.
Jeff Foxworthy
#14. Why doesn't the CIA hire your grandmother to interrogate terror suspects? She does a much better job than they do of getting classified information.
Meg Cabot
#15. Write letters to your grandmother. She will love it. And leave you money in her will.
Philip Gulley
#16. Conservatism is the policy of make no change and consult your grandmother when in doubt.
Woodrow Wilson
#17. It's high time your grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she's got, rather than the one she thinks she ought to have -
J.K. Rowling
#18. I used to love to play dress-up, where you get your mother's or your grandmother's dresses and high heels.
Suzanne Farrell
#19. No matter where you live, you have the memory of something you used to eat that is no longer a part of your diet - something your grandmother used to make, something a small shop used to carry. Something we have lost. This extinction is a process; it happens one meal at a time.
Preeti Simran Sethi
#20. Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother?s.
Andrei Codrescu
#21. My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie
Janet Evanovich
#22. One of the interesting things I discovered, talking about your grandmother, is I did a search of my uses of the word "elderly" in my copy over the years, and you will not be surprised to hear that the older I got the less often I used the word elderly in print.
Anna Quindlen
#23. Your grandmother once told me that the problems we face in life are windows, from which we can view the beauty of the solutions that await our discovery.
Peggy M. McAloon
#24. It's a sword made out of your grandmother's bones, Kate.
Ilona Andrews
#25. My view is that good community management is like having good municipal government: You should be able to have dissenting opinions and so on, freedom of speech, but your grandmother should also be able to walk down the street at night without having to worry about getting mugged.
Jimmy Wales
#26. You're dropping the bow hand as you release," he called, although Halt certainly wasn't.
His mentor looked around, saw him, and replied pithily, "I believe your grandmother needs lessons in sucking eggs.
John Flanagan
#27. I knew."
"What?"
"I knew what you were then, Sophie. Your dad told me before the betrothal. And you told me about your grandmother, and what happened to your grandfather."
I shook my head. "Then, why?"
Cal took his time before answering.
Rachel Hawkins
#29. Why is your grandmother such a bitch to me?"
"Did you just call my ancient, wrinkly, half-crazy grandmother a bitch?" Ian laughs.
"Well, that's what she is!"
Ian shakes his head with another laugh. "Yeah, she is
Keary Taylor
#30. I'll accompany you too, fair lady," said Reven. "I would fain meet your grandmother."
"You would what?" said Elfwyn.
"He means he'd like to," said Jinx. Some of the books in Simon's house used old-fashioned words like that.
Sage Blackwood
#31. I'd RKO my own grandmother if it meant keeping this title. Then I'd RKO your grandmother just to see the look on her face.
Randy Orton
#32. It's possible to love your grandmother for years and years without really knowing anything about her.
Fredrik Backman
#33. Do not be proud of the fact that your grandmother was shocked at something which your are accustomed to seeing or hearing without being shocked ... It may be that your grandmother was an extremely lively and vital animal and that you are a paralytic.
G.K. Chesterton
#34. Unfortunately I don't have my grandparents, but Mum and I are working quite well together. That's candid, that's frank. Your grandmother is never going to lie to you.
Rose Leslie
#35. In almost the same way you know what your grandmother looks and sounds like, you know what Bruce Willis looks and sounds like.
Rian Johnson
#36. Most fathers and ... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.
Bill Cosby
#37. If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.
George Brett
#38. There is more sexy-stuff a coming in this book, though ... This ain't your grandmother's Dirk Gently.
Arvind Ethan David
#39. Do good though, will you?" She blinked brightly at the green girl. "If not for your parents or your grandmother, then for me?
Gregory Maguire
#40. And as I remember your grandmother and I were already casting eyes at each other more than we were casting for fish
Brian Doyle
#41. Animals are nicer than humans and they're conscious beings. If you stick your grandmother in an oven, she will probably be tasty. But is that any reason to eat your grandmother?
Steven Morrissey
#42. No matter what you do, your grandmother thinks it's wonderful.
Judith Ellen Levy
#43. Consider your second attention as a spiritual perceiver. Consider how you use it. You may plead innocence. You're not doing anything wrong. Don't feel that you've sinned. You have done what you had to do to survive, as did your mother, as did your grandmother.
Frederick Lenz
#44. As I learned from growing up, you don't mess with your grandmother.
Prince William
#45. You're going to be my grandmother."
"You silly child. In my heart, I've been your grandmother for years. I've just been waiting for you to make it official.
Julia Quinn
#46. NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.
Ambrose Bierce
#47. Wear a towel instead of a coat, it's very chic. Or your husband's boxer shorts with a belt, or something from your grandmother. It's all about do-it-yourself at the moment.
Vivienne Westwood
#48. Flustered, she replied, "You're not my - my - grandmother, or something."
"You'd talk about this with your grandmother? I can't possibly imagine discussing my dating life with mine. She's a lovely woman, I suppose. If you like them bald and racist.
Maggie Stiefvater
#49. Really,Mia,"she said. "You know I don't like to contradict your grandmother ... "
This was the biggest lie I'd heard since the Prince of Liechtenstein told me I waltzed divinely,but I let it slide,on account of Mom's condition.
Meg Cabot
#50. Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.
Jeff Foxworthy
#51. They did the best they could. Besides I was hardly a stranger. I had known your grandmother. We were like this. She twined her second and third fingers together as if they might strangle each other.
Gregory Maguire
#52. We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss that imprisons your grandmother," Thanatos said.
"That creature is me." Aurox stepped forward.
"Oh, for shit's sake! We are absolutely fucked!" Aphrodite said.
Sadly I had to agree with her.
P.C. Cast
#53. I think it's important to recall ... what you remember your grandmother making, where you're from and the foods you enjoyed as a child yourself, and pass that information off to your kids.
Tyler Florence
#54. One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!
Groucho Marx
#55. Rube, this is me you're talking to, Clancy Crew, remember? Your best buddy? And I hate to break it to you this way but your grandmother on your mother's side, she isn't sick - she's dead!
Lauren Child
#56. I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman that is your grandmother, that is your mother, that is your sister, that is you and that is me.
Maya Angelou
#57. Is it necessary, do you think,' he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, 'for the purpose of visiting your grandmother's childhood home, to dress like a kindergarten whore?
Danielle Wood
#58. When I was small your grandmother used to say that if you become a police officer, you can't choose who to protect. You have to try to protect everyone.
Fredrik Backman
#59. Happiness is the twinkle in your grandmother's eye as you reverse the tractor off her legs.
Hugh Laurie
#60. You need to understand this. We did not think we owned the land. The land was part of us. We didn't even know about owning the land. It is like talking about owning your grandmother - you can't own your grandmother. She just is your grandmother. Why would you talk about owning her?
Kent Nerburn
#61. I don't see what the big deal is."
"It's a sword made out of your grandmother's bones, Kate."
I shrugged.
Ilona Andrews
#62. Do all romantic notions and inclinations wither, sag and die as you grew older into the body of a woman who begins to resemble your mother's and then your grandmother's?
Abigail George
#63. I like the way you fight."
Was that a compliment?
"It's very efficient. Who taught you?"
"Your grandmother."...
"That seems unlikely. My grandmother preferred sewing to fighting.
Jodi Meadows
#64. It's still the best game in town because you don't have to be big to play, and everybody plays. Even your grandmother probably played baseball.
Tommy Lasorda
#65. Harder! Harder! Strike at it, for the gods' sake! It's a Parthian, not your grandmother! I swear if you don't put some effort into - What?
M.C. Scott
#66. She smiles at me as if forced at knifepoint, the kind of smile that comes purely from manners, like the smile you give your grandmother when she gives you the rotten-cabbage-colored sweater she's been knitting.
Anna Banks
#67. These yanks into someone's personal past, that's the kind of history I like. Not wars, but who was your grandmother and what did she dream of? Did she walk up stairs to where she lived and what did it smell like and what was she wearing and who were her neighbors?
Elizabeth Berg
#68. See there," she said, pointing to my eyes. "Not the same color, but the same determination. And your lips, they have the same hopeful smile. I know you have your grandmother's coloring, but you're your mother's daughter, through and through.
Kiera Cass
#69. Don't say that as a boy your grandmother used to read to you, unless at that stage of her life she really was a boy, in which case you have probably thrown away a better intro.
Christopher Hitchens
#70. Eating cookies that you bake with your grandmother is one of the greatest social steps one must experience in order to grow up into a decent world citizen, in my opinion.
Roseanne Barr
#71. There was something wolfish about him. Not in the sexy Twilight New Moon way, but in the I'll-eat-your-grandmother way.
Victoria Kahler
#72. Reminds me of something my grandfather would say. He'd say, "I'm goin' upstairs to fuck your grandmother." He was an honest man, and he wasn't going to bullshit a four-year-old.
George Carlin
#73. Your sword is made out of your grandmother's bones?"
"Okay, I see how it sounds weird when you say it in that tone of voice
Ilona Andrews
#75. If you know somebody very well, like your grandmother or your baby sister, you will know when they are real and when they are fake.
Lemony Snicket
#76. Your grandmother used to say that you were two souls separated in heaven. She mainly meant you were both trouble and deserved each other.
Kristen Ashley
#77. Think she needs to have an adventure once in a while. And she's overly curious." "You get that from her," my mother said. "You're a lot like your grandmother." Sort of a scary thought, but I knew it was true. Even at this moment, I had a horse in my kitchen.
Janet Evanovich
#78. In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and ... mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.
Bill Cosby
#79. If you go to Atlanta, the first question people ask you is, "What's your business?" In Macon they ask, "Where do you go to church?" In Augusta they ask your grandmother's maiden name. But in Savannah the first question people ask you is "What would you like to drink?
John Berendt
#80. Oh, better I like to work out-of-doors than in a house!' she used to sing joyfully. 'I not care that your grandmother say it makes me like a man. I like to be like a man.
Willa Cather
#81. If TV seems improved, I think it's been enhanced by violence and sex permissible on cable, as well as better cinematography, but in the end it's really only soap operas like your grandmother's afternoon "stories" and that's all it wants to be or has to be.
William Monahan
#82. Nonsense. Your grandmother was headstrong and brilliant and took the ton by storm. I'm told she spent her first season breaking a score of hearts and boldly inserting her opinion where it wasn't desired. Frankly you remind me entirely of her, and she would be proud of you tonight as I am.
Sarah MacLean
#83. You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother.
Albert Einstein
#84. Are you sure? What about your grandmother?"
He shrugged as though it didn't matter, and a beaming smile splayed across his mouth. "I'll be out here with you when I come out.
Shaye Evans
#85. I can't cook! It's genetic. My grandmother can't cook, my mother can't cook. I was raised to believe you eat because your body needs fuel for energy, so I eat super foods.
Jada Pinkett Smith
#86. My grandmother died from Alzheimer's, and it was a big shock. For the families left behind, it is not an easy closure. It's not a gradual fading. The person is losing so much of their humanity as they're dying. Losing your memories, you lose so much of who you are as a person.
Rosecrans Baldwin
#87. You must torment people with your artistic delight, scaring mother and grandmother in the middle of the night.
Sergei Parajanov
#88. I love being a grandmother. That feeling you have for your own child - you don't ever think it will be replicated, and I did wonder if I would have to 'pretend' with my grandchildren. But my heart was taken on day one.
Joanna Lumley
#89. But when my grandmother saw me plucking [my eyebrows] she said: 'Don't. You will regret it. One day you will wake up with no eyebrows and think how stupid you were. Your eyebrows are the most beautiful thing about you.'
Natalia Vodianova
#90. If you're really hard up, I can introduce you to my grandmother. She's a fan." Adam blinked. "She doesn't typically sleep with pretty young things, but she would make an exception in your case. You might even learn a trick or two.
Ilona Andrews
#91. My grandmother always used to say, "If you know your past and you know where you have to go, why do you rehearse?" I always remember this and it's true. You have to start each day again-you can't repeat what you did.
Marian Seldes
#92. Conner hadn't liked leaving the gravesite with his father still not buried. But he'd learned from his grandmother's funeral that you have to go. It's expected. Nobody hangs around the cemetary. Grief - a little or a lot - is tucked into your pocket and carried away.
Kathleen Jeffrie Johnson
#93. Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
Greg Giraldo
#94. Are you sure you don't have a crazy hairy grandmother in your family?
Vivi Anna
#95. I thought your mother liked me." "My grandmother likes you. My mother worries that you might be related to Satan.
Janet Evanovich
#96. But after a while you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing.
Hunter S. Thompson
#97. Whenever I would get too nosy as a child, my grandmother would say, When you learn someone else's secret, your own secrets aren't safe. Dig up one, release them all.
Sarah Addison Allen
#98. Not your girlfriend?" Grandmother guessed. "Well, she should be, you dolt! Don't let her get away. You need strong women in your life, if you haven't noticed. Now, to business.
Rick Riordan
#99. One of the great tragedies I see is people not putting every effort into the foundation of their marriage. My grandmother told me that it's one man and one woman for life and that your marriage is worth fighting for.
Kay Robertson
#100. Don't sell your land, don't sell Grandmother Earth to the strip-mining outfits and the uranium companies. Don't sell your water." That kind of advice is a threat to the system and gets you into the penitentiary.
Mary Crow Dog
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