Your Grandmother Quotes

#1. I can't cook! It's genetic. My grandmother can't cook, my mother can't cook. I was raised to believe you eat because your body needs fuel for energy, so I eat super foods.

Jada Pinkett Smith

#2. My grandmother died from Alzheimer's, and it was a big shock. For the families left behind, it is not an easy closure. It's not a gradual fading. The person is losing so much of their humanity as they're dying. Losing your memories, you lose so much of who you are as a person.

Rosecrans Baldwin

#3. In some circles, admitting you love Top 40 radio is tantamount to bragging you gave your grandmother the clap, in church, in the front row at your aunt's funeral, but those are the circles I avoid like the plague or, for that matter, the clap.

Rob Sheffield

#4. She'd read once that if you ran into a bear in the woods you should avoid eye contact and you shouldn't run away, but all she knew about wolves is that you should never tell them how to find your grandmother's house.

Anne Ursu

#5. You must torment people with your artistic delight, scaring mother and grandmother in the middle of the night.

Sergei Parajanov

#6. I love being a grandmother. That feeling you have for your own child - you don't ever think it will be replicated, and I did wonder if I would have to 'pretend' with my grandchildren. But my heart was taken on day one.

Joanna Lumley

#7. Well, Chrissy, I'm afraid your grandmother's Irish Alzheimer's has gotten quite advanced - she's forgotten everything but her grudges.

J. Courtney Sullivan

#8. When you a ghetto star, when you a hood star, you gonna take care of your grandmother, your mother. When you on that next level, you gotta take care of the city, the streets.

Young Jeezy

#9. But when my grandmother saw me plucking [my eyebrows] she said: 'Don't. You will regret it. One day you will wake up with no eyebrows and think how stupid you were. Your eyebrows are the most beautiful thing about you.'

Natalia Vodianova

#10. If you're really hard up, I can introduce you to my grandmother. She's a fan." Adam blinked. "She doesn't typically sleep with pretty young things, but she would make an exception in your case. You might even learn a trick or two.

Ilona Andrews

#11. My grandmother always used to say, "If you know your past and you know where you have to go, why do you rehearse?" I always remember this and it's true. You have to start each day again-you can't repeat what you did.

Marian Seldes

#12. He looked as if he'd got a lot of pleasure out of going ten rounds with your grandmother and making sure she went the whole distance.

Richard Brautigan

#13. You, your grandmother, the chairman----YOU'RE ALL ABUNCH OF FRIGGIN' IDIOTS!!!"

~Haruhi

Bisco Hatori

#14. The corners of her mouth turned up in a wry smile. Better and better. Your grandmother's looks and your grandfather's brains. A deadly combination, I must say.

Angela Misri

#15. Conner hadn't liked leaving the gravesite with his father still not buried. But he'd learned from his grandmother's funeral that you have to go. It's expected. Nobody hangs around the cemetary. Grief - a little or a lot - is tucked into your pocket and carried away.

Kathleen Jeffrie Johnson

#16. Om Namah Shivaya.
I honor the divinity that resides within me.
... I repeat it again. Again. And again. It's not so much that I'm meditating as unpacking the mantra carefully, the way you would unpack your grandmother's best china if it had been stored in a box for a long time, unused.

Elizabeth Gilbert

#17. Eating meat is the most disgusting thing I can think of. It's like biting into your grandmother.

Steven Morrissey

#18. Picture your grandmother in Hell, baking pies ... without an oven.

George Carlin

#19. The great thing about civility is that it does not require you to agree with or approve of anything. You don't even have to love your neighbor to be civil. You just have to treat your neighbor the same way you would like your neighbor to treat your grandmother, or your child.

Barbara Brown Taylor

#20. No Hello.
No Hi, Pierce. Nice right hook you have there.
No It's lovely to see you. Sorry about your counselor being killed last night. Yes, I see your grandmother is a Fury even though I told you none was after you. I guess I was wrong about that.
Just Let's go.

Meg Cabot

#21. Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!

Greg Giraldo

#22. Are you sure you don't have a crazy hairy grandmother in your family?

Vivi Anna

#23. I thought your mother liked me." "My grandmother likes you. My mother worries that you might be related to Satan.

Janet Evanovich

#24. You might be a redneck if your grandmother has ever been asked to leave a bingo game because of her language.

Jeff Foxworthy

#25. Why doesn't the CIA hire your grandmother to interrogate terror suspects? She does a much better job than they do of getting classified information.

Meg Cabot

#26. Write letters to your grandmother. She will love it. And leave you money in her will.

Philip Gulley

#27. Conservatism is the policy of make no change and consult your grandmother when in doubt.

Woodrow Wilson

#28. It's high time your grandmother learned to be proud of the grandson she's got, rather than the one she thinks she ought to have -

J.K. Rowling

#29. I used to love to play dress-up, where you get your mother's or your grandmother's dresses and high heels.

Suzanne Farrell

#30. No matter where you live, you have the memory of something you used to eat that is no longer a part of your diet - something your grandmother used to make, something a small shop used to carry. Something we have lost. This extinction is a process; it happens one meal at a time.

Preeti Simran Sethi

#31. Cookbooks bear the same relation to real books that microwave food bears to your grandmother?s.

Andrei Codrescu

#32. My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn."
"She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action."
-Ranger and Stephanie

Janet Evanovich

#33. But after a while you learn to cope with things like seeing your dead grandmother crawling up your leg with a knife in her teeth. Most acid fanciers can handle this sort of thing.

Hunter S. Thompson

#34. Whenever I would get too nosy as a child, my grandmother would say, When you learn someone else's secret, your own secrets aren't safe. Dig up one, release them all.

Sarah Addison Allen

#35. One of the interesting things I discovered, talking about your grandmother, is I did a search of my uses of the word "elderly" in my copy over the years, and you will not be surprised to hear that the older I got the less often I used the word elderly in print.

Anna Quindlen

#36. Your grandmother once told me that the problems we face in life are windows, from which we can view the beauty of the solutions that await our discovery.

Peggy M. McAloon

#37. It's a sword made out of your grandmother's bones, Kate.

Ilona Andrews

#38. My view is that good community management is like having good municipal government: You should be able to have dissenting opinions and so on, freedom of speech, but your grandmother should also be able to walk down the street at night without having to worry about getting mugged.

Jimmy Wales

#39. Not your girlfriend?" Grandmother guessed. "Well, she should be, you dolt! Don't let her get away. You need strong women in your life, if you haven't noticed. Now, to business.

Rick Riordan

#40. One of the great tragedies I see is people not putting every effort into the foundation of their marriage. My grandmother told me that it's one man and one woman for life and that your marriage is worth fighting for.

Kay Robertson

#41. You're dropping the bow hand as you release," he called, although Halt certainly wasn't.
His mentor looked around, saw him, and replied pithily, "I believe your grandmother needs lessons in sucking eggs.

John Flanagan

#42. I knew."
"What?"
"I knew what you were then, Sophie. Your dad told me before the betrothal. And you told me about your grandmother, and what happened to your grandfather."
I shook my head. "Then, why?"
Cal took his time before answering.

Rachel Hawkins

#43. February your grandmother!

George Orwell

#44. Don't sell your land, don't sell Grandmother Earth to the strip-mining outfits and the uranium companies. Don't sell your water." That kind of advice is a threat to the system and gets you into the penitentiary.

Mary Crow Dog

#45. The Earth is your Mother and Grandmother. When you walk on the Earth, you are making a prayer to her.

Burleigh Muten

#46. Why is your grandmother such a bitch to me?"

"Did you just call my ancient, wrinkly, half-crazy grandmother a bitch?" Ian laughs.

"Well, that's what she is!"

Ian shakes his head with another laugh. "Yeah, she is

Keary Taylor

#47. I'm a man with many defects. I love. I sing. I dream. I was born in the poor countryside. I was raised in the countryside, planting corn and selling sweets made by my grandmother. My children, my two daughters are with me and I want a better world for my grandchildren, for your grandchildren.

Hugo Chavez

#48. I'll accompany you too, fair lady," said Reven. "I would fain meet your grandmother."
"You would what?" said Elfwyn.
"He means he'd like to," said Jinx. Some of the books in Simon's house used old-fashioned words like that.

Sage Blackwood

#49. I'd RKO my own grandmother if it meant keeping this title. Then I'd RKO your grandmother just to see the look on her face.

Randy Orton

#50. You idiot! You misbegotten son of a jinn's meeting with a jackass, may the grave of your maternal grandmother be defiled by the dung of ten thousand syphilitic she-camels!

Anne McCaffrey

#51. It's possible to love your grandmother for years and years without really knowing anything about her.

Fredrik Backman

#52. Do not be proud of the fact that your grandmother was shocked at something which your are accustomed to seeing or hearing without being shocked ... It may be that your grandmother was an extremely lively and vital animal and that you are a paralytic.

G.K. Chesterton

#53. A flower is your cousin ... Sometimes a person has got to take a life, like a chicken's or a hog's when you need it ... But nobody is so hungry they need to kill a flower. Cherokee great-grandmother

Barbara Kingsolver

#54. Unfortunately I don't have my grandparents, but Mum and I are working quite well together. That's candid, that's frank. Your grandmother is never going to lie to you.

Rose Leslie

#55. In almost the same way you know what your grandmother looks and sounds like, you know what Bruce Willis looks and sounds like.

Rian Johnson

#56. Most fathers and ... Mothers. Only your grandmother and Ghengis Khan know how to do it.

Bill Cosby

#57. The schools can't cover all the values that go along with how you handle your money. For example, a financial literacy class might not teach me to hate debt the way my grandmother, Big Mama did.

Michelle Singletary

#58. If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.

George Brett

#59. There is more sexy-stuff a coming in this book, though ... This ain't your grandmother's Dirk Gently.

Arvind Ethan David

#60. Margaery, you're clever, be a dear and tell your poor old half-daft grandmother the name of that queer fish from the Summer Isles that puffs up to ten times its own size when you poke it."
"They call them puff fish, Grandmother."
"Of course they do. Summer Islanders have no imagination.

George R R Martin

#61. Cam laughed. "You know, my grandmother always said no woman with a decent vocabulary would resort to profanity."
Kori huffed. "My grandmother said, 'Get the hell out of my house, bitch, before I throw you out on your ass.

Rachel Vincent

#62. My grandmother always told me you must keep to your old roads and stick to your original friends and just go through smooth, be careful and stay positive.

Wayne Wonder

#63. Do good though, will you?" She blinked brightly at the green girl. "If not for your parents or your grandmother, then for me?

Gregory Maguire

#64. And as I remember your grandmother and I were already casting eyes at each other more than we were casting for fish

Brian Doyle

#65. Animals are nicer than humans and they're conscious beings. If you stick your grandmother in an oven, she will probably be tasty. But is that any reason to eat your grandmother?

Steven Morrissey

#66. No matter what you do, your grandmother thinks it's wonderful.

Judith Ellen Levy

#67. My hair, your eyes, Eli's smile, her great-grandmother's name . . ."
"And Tag's charm. Let's hope she has Tag's charm.

Amy Harmon

#68. Consider your second attention as a spiritual perceiver. Consider how you use it. You may plead innocence. You're not doing anything wrong. Don't feel that you've sinned. You have done what you had to do to survive, as did your mother, as did your grandmother.

Frederick Lenz

#69. My grandmother was a kind of Scarsdale, New York, society woman, best known in her day as the author of the 1959 book 'Growing Your Own Way: An Informal Guide for Teen-Agers' - this despite being a person whose parenting style made Joan Crawford's wire hangers look like pool noodles.

Sloane Crosley

#70. I'm not drunk onstage, although I've done that a couple of times when I was younger. It's partly just the way I talk - I talk like somebody in a rocking chair. I'm your 150-year-old grandmother.

Dylan Moran

#71. As I learned from growing up, you don't mess with your grandmother.

Prince William

#72. You say to yourself, 'How can a little girl be a grandmother.' It takes some little time to accept and realize the fact that while you have been growing old, your friends have not been standing still, in that matter.

Mark Twain

#73. You're going to be my grandmother."
"You silly child. In my heart, I've been your grandmother for years. I've just been waiting for you to make it official.

Julia Quinn

#74. NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Ambrose Bierce

#75. There are worse things than being robbed ... " I could smell the sick old-meat stench on his breath, like he really had eaten my grandmother. " ... worse things than dyin' even. You be a good boy, Little Red, and maybe you'll get to live awhile. Maybe you'll get to die in your own natural time.

Neal Shusterman

#76. Wear a towel instead of a coat, it's very chic. Or your husband's boxer shorts with a belt, or something from your grandmother. It's all about do-it-yourself at the moment.

Vivienne Westwood

#77. You don't care what anyone thinks about you,' he said.

'That's crazy,' she said. 'I care what everyone thinks about me.'

'I can't tell,' he said. 'You just seem like yourself, no matter what's happening around you. My grandmother would say you're comfortable in your own skin.

Rainbow Rowell

#78. I don't think any of us are careful enough about emails. When you are writing an email, you should imagine yourself in an auditorium speaking to 5,000 people, with your mother and grandmother in the audience, and it is being broadcast on CNN.

Toby Emmerich

#79. Flustered, she replied, "You're not my - my - grandmother, or something."
"You'd talk about this with your grandmother? I can't possibly imagine discussing my dating life with mine. She's a lovely woman, I suppose. If you like them bald and racist.

Maggie Stiefvater

#80. Like my grandmother always said, Your opinions are valid and important. Unless it's some stupid bullshit you're being shitty about, in which case you can just go fuck yourself.

Jenny Lawson

#81. Really,Mia,"she said. "You know I don't like to contradict your grandmother ... "
This was the biggest lie I'd heard since the Prince of Liechtenstein told me I waltzed divinely,but I let it slide,on account of Mom's condition.

Meg Cabot

#82. Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

Jeff Foxworthy

#83. They did the best they could. Besides I was hardly a stranger. I had known your grandmother. We were like this. She twined her second and third fingers together as if they might strangle each other.

Gregory Maguire

#84. Don't like when sports interviewers force answers: Are you dedicating this game to your sick grandmother? What's the guy supposed to say?

Brian Regan

#85. We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss that imprisons your grandmother," Thanatos said.
"That creature is me." Aurox stepped forward.
"Oh, for shit's sake! We are absolutely fucked!" Aphrodite said.
Sadly I had to agree with her.

P.C. Cast

#86. I think it's important to recall ... what you remember your grandmother making, where you're from and the foods you enjoyed as a child yourself, and pass that information off to your kids.

Tyler Florence

#87. We have all felt those emotions in these last few days. So what I say to you now, as your queen and as a grandmother, I say from my heart.

Queen Elizabeth II

#88. Don't eat anything your great-great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. There are a great many food-like items in the supermarket your ancestors wouldn't recognize as food.. stay away from these

Michael Pollan

#89. Theodore- Hello, Grandmother. You're looking more beautiful than ever.
His grandma- You did have to inherit your looks from someone.

Jen Turano

#90. with a woman's life expectancy at eighty-four years, it is reasonable to expect that she will not only live thirty to forty years beyond menopause, but be vibrant, sharp, and influential as well. The menopause you will experience is not your mother's (or grandmother's) menopause.

Christiane Northrup

#91. One woman and one man might have been OK in your grandmother's day, but who wants to marry your grandmother? Not even your grandfather!

Groucho Marx

#92. Rube, this is me you're talking to, Clancy Crew, remember? Your best buddy? And I hate to break it to you this way but your grandmother on your mother's side, she isn't sick - she's dead!

Lauren Child

#93. I am a woman phenomenally, phenomenal woman that is your grandmother, that is your mother, that is your sister, that is you and that is me.

Maya Angelou

#94. You make all your mistakes with your own children so by the time your grandchildren arrive, you know how to get it right. Plus, once you turn fifty, you kind of stop giving a shit what others think.

Liz Fenton

#95. I always remember your own grandmother, she continued, nodding her head, old Mrs. Taylor. She died on a Christmas Night.
Oh, I said shivering. I wouldn't like to die on a Christmas Night.
A good night to die, she smiled; they say that the gates of heaven are open on Christmas Night.

Alice Taylor

#96. Is it necessary, do you think,' he began, leaning in so close behind me that I could smell his breath, 'for the purpose of visiting your grandmother's childhood home, to dress like a kindergarten whore?

Danielle Wood

#97. When I was small your grandmother used to say that if you become a police officer, you can't choose who to protect. You have to try to protect everyone.

Fredrik Backman

#98. Happiness is the twinkle in your grandmother's eye as you reverse the tractor off her legs.

Hugh Laurie

#99. 'Grandmother' doesn't mean that you have gray hair and you retire and stay home cooking cakes for your grandchildren.

Carine Roitfeld

#100. Grandmothers are to life what the Ph.D. is to education. There is nothing you can feel, taste, expect, predict, or want that the grandmothers in your family do not know about in detail.

Lois Wyse