Top 100 You Idiot Quotes

#1. You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot.

Sherwood Smith

#2. For someone who'e smarter than a supercomputer, sometimes you're a real idiot.

Gordon Korman

#3. If an idiot were to tell you the same story every day for a year, you would end by believing it.

Horace Mann

#4. When you know someone is keeping secrets from you it makes you feel like an idiot, and no one likes feeling like an idiot. Mum

Fredrik Backman

#5. You want me to marry Paul? But he is a moron and an idiot! He hasn't learned to fight properly, and he can't even read."
The king's smile widened. "I knew you'd like him.

Katharina Gerlach

#6. I think everybody's got their insecurities and hang-ups. Everybody! Unless you're an idiot.

Domhnall Gleeson

#7. Your friend the Turtle... He died a few years ago. The old idiot puked inside his shell and choked to death on a galaxy or two. Very sad, don't you think? But also quite bizarre.

Stephen King

#8. My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.

Anthony Jeselnik

#9. When you use sleep mask, no one's gonna recognize you. You're gonna look like an idiot, but it's so worth it.

Nikki Glaser

#10. Losing parts of your memory didn't make you an idiot.

James Dashner

#11. You idiot!" She spat, flattening her ears. "What are you doing in my territory?"
"Drowning?" Replied Graystripe.

Erin Hunter

#12. You could generally inform a real close friend: when you have manufactured a idiot of on your own he does not truly feel you've finished a long lasting job.

Laurence J. Peter

#13. I think I liked you better when you were a raging idiot.

Alethea Kontis

#14. -Do you think artists are supposed to be happy?
-Everyone is supposed to be. -I said staunchly,and I knew that I was indeed an idiot and that was my destiny and I didn't mind it

Elizabeth Kostova

#15. You're an idiot, Maxon Schreave. Your parents have completely sabotaged you. You could have a thousand girls set before you, and it wouldn't matter. You're too stupid to see love when it stands right in front of you.

Kiera Cass

#16. Love will make you weak and indecisive, remember?" she murmured.
What a fool he had been. For a journey like theirs, love was the only thing that would make him strong enough.
"Don't ever listen to an idiot like me," he answered.

Sherry Thomas

#17. Clearly, being in love makes you an idiot," he muttered...

Samantha Chase

#18. Are you afraid of falling, baby?
No, I'm afraid of landing.
[He's laughing, and I'm smiling.]
Stupid idiot smile, don't you know what comes next?

Ann Aguirre

#19. Clearly , you're an idiot but you're our kind of idiot

Markus Zusak

#20. The truth is that I'm an idiot. I am. I don't do things by the rules sometimes. I say things that I probably shouldn't say. I push buttons. I deserve to be made fun of. And I feel like, as soon as you can make fun of something, it instantly removes the fear.

Ashton Kutcher

#21. Any idiot can see that if you don't want to be fat, you shouldn't eat so much. You should move more.

Kelly Barson

#22. For you, you idiot! I love you!" I

Ransom Riggs

#23. Students out of bed! Students in the corridors!" "They're supposed to be, you blithering idiot!

J.K. Rowling

#24. You'd have to be an idiot to say no to 'Hunger Games.'

Natalie Dormer

#25. You're not an idiot. You're just eccentric. (Selena)
That's what they said about Mary Todd Lincoln. Until they locked her up. (Grace)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#26. My given name is James."
"James Moriarty."
...
"Really? Sherlock wishes to discuss odd names with me?"
"And a point to Miss Moriarty."
...
"You're an idiot. Truly.

Heather W. Petty

#27. When I become the village idiot, or at least, it starts to become a joke, you can't do that much longer.

Joan Van Ark

#28. Sometimes, Dan, friends have to take a stand and say:
Hey, idiot, we're here for you no matter what. We're not
going to disappear when you get grumpy or angry, we're in
this for the long haul. We're in this for each other.

Madeleine Roux

#29. He's an idiot for letting you walk away in that dress tonight.

Kelly Stevenson

#30. And when I pray, I shall ask the Lord in heaven whatever happened to my father's ethics - or did he never have any?"

Henry leapt to his feet and pounded both fists on his desk in rage.

"You little idiot!" he roared. "I never had any!

Elizabeth Gilbert

#31. Owen is Owen. No one gets to tell him how to live his life. Not you, not me, and not some author nobody. Owen gets to choose how his life story goes, and no one, let alone his idiot fictional self, gets to take that away from him.

James Riley

#32. James - "Are you paying attention or just trying to make me look like an idoit?"
Elizabeth - "Oh, I'm definately paying attention. If you look like an idiot it has nothing to do with me.

Julia Quinn

#33. Everyone thinks Goldman is so fucking smart," he railed. "Just because Goldman says this is the right valuation, you shouldn't assume it's correct just because Goldman said it. My brother works at Goldman, and he's an idiot!

Andrew Ross Sorkin

#34. Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.

Ann Coulter

#35. You make your son out to be to be almost an idiot; well let me tell you something, Mrs Loan, if he were a complete idiot, drooling at the mouth, he'd still be a better person then you.

Catherine Cookson

#36. I wish I could catch the words and reel them back in my mouth to safely store away in my Shut the Hell Up, You Idiot file.

Katie Kacvinsky

#37. You certainly can't tell anything from the microscopic structure of the brain whether the person was an idiot or a genius.

Ashley Montagu

#38. I'm mostly laughing, because you're such an idiot.

Jacqueline Wilson

#39. Anybody who doesn't think that Hong Kong has to depend on the PRC (China) must be the biggest idiot on earth because you are talking about getting access to a 1.3 billion people market.

Gordon Wu

#40. Everything is going to be fine.
I hate it when people say that, people who have absolutely no idea of what's coming next. They turn you into an idiot for even asking.

Jenny Valentine

#41. Max is an idiot," Ivy said, struggling to her feet and almost toppling over before Jack caught her. "Slow down, Speed Racer," he said. "You need to move slowly until your body adjusts to its new reality." "And what reality is that?" "The one where you're not super human.

Lily Harper Hart

#42. Better to keep quiet and let people think you're an idiot than speak up and confirm it.

Rodney Dangerfield

#43. It would make things easier for both of us, especially for you, if we could forgo the part of this conversation where you take me for a complete idiot...

Sylvain Neuvel

#44. I'm reasonably easygoing. Messing up my lines or making a fool of myself is where you find my fears. Like a lot of English people, I'm prey to embarrassment - the dread that everyone's sort of sniggering at you, that you're going to look like an idiot. I think that sort of halts us all.

Hugh Laurie

#45. I didn't need you, you idiot. I picked you. And then you picked me back.

John Green

#46. You don't want to miss out on something and feel like an idiot.

Kevin Connolly

#47. I don't think I will ever believe I deserve you, but I love you more than I can even describe. I don't know if I can ever ... be better for you, but it you're willing to keep forgiving me for being a complete idiot, I'm willing to keep trying.

Shay Savage

#48. The world, and therefore the workplace, is full of idiots. And the reality of life is that when you get rid of one idiot, another will show up to take his place. It's the curse of humanity.

Larry Winget

#49. Magicians are definitely more arrogant. They're kind of like "Abra Kadabra, you're an idiot," they don't let you in on the joke. Comedians, you're always in on the joke unless it's Andy Kaufman.

Jim Carrey

#50. A fan is someone who, if you have made an idiot of yourself on the pitch, doesn't think you've done a permanent job.

Jack Lynch

#51. I feared Sarah was one of those women who instead of laughing said, "That's funny," or instead of smiling said, "That's interesting," or instead of saying, "You are a stupid blithering idiot," said, "Well I think it's a little more complicated than that.

Lorrie Moore

#52. Get yourself into something that you don't have passion for and feel like an idiot always.

Ameya Agrawal

#53. You know what I hate?" I asked.
Trenton had desperation in his eyes. "Me. I know. I just ... I'm a selfish, insecure idiot."
"Yes.

Jamie McGuire

#54. No, you stupid idiot, there's nothing wrong with you. You're perfect.

Jeanne Birdsall

#55. We don't grow fangs, you idiot!

Darren Shan

#56. The problem with improv is that you're letting an idiot tell you what to do.

Dino Stamatopoulos

#57. He came for me. I couldn't believe it.
He came for me. Into a flying palace full of thousands of armed rakshasas in the middle of a magic jungle. Oh, you stupid, stupid idiot man. What was the God damn point of saving him only to watch him throw his life away?
Kate for Curran

Ilona Andrews

#58. What? What's so funny? Some idiot tried to put a stake through your heart, and he didn't even hit the darn thing!"
For which I am grateful. And I am even more grateful that you rescued me. I did not like being imprisoned and in such pain.

Christine Feehan

#59. Time to betray your mother, you idiot, I thought.

Anonymous

#60. Sunlight burns me," I say.
He shrugs. "Me, too."
"You're an idiot, Snow.

Rainbow Rowell

#61. Dante.Oh,Dante.Seal me!Seal me so hard!".He grabs my hips and
pumps his toward mine."Oh,Dante! You're so hot when you seal souls."
I shove my idiot-of-a-best-friend off me and laugh."What the hell was that?" I ask.
"My new move.

Victoria Scott

#62. they just had big bones rather than stand up an' say - I am what I am, an' I'm not ashamed. 'Never be ashamed,' my ol' dad used ter say, 'there's some who'll hold it against you, but they're not worth botherin' with.' An' he was right. I've bin an idiot. I'm not botherin' with

J.K. Rowling

#63. It's painful to believe that the would-be 'public servants' you're forced to choose between are all phonies whose only real concern is their own care and feeding and who will lie so outrageously and with such a straight face that you know they've just got to believe you're an idiot.

David Foster Wallace

#64. You must think I'm a complete idiot right? That I'm just some doormat who'll wait for you on the sidelines forever? That you can keep running back to her every time things get difficult and I'll just be okay with it?!

Stephanie Perkins

#65. Whether you are a genius or an idiot, a thief or, like me, a Zen priest who has cultivated the mind for 30 years - the mind anyway is subject to conditions.

Zoketsu Norman Fischer

#66. Any other iron on you?" he asked impatiently.
"Just my tongue stud."
His look was a mixture of curiosity and horror.
"I'm kidding, you idiot. Let's go.

Kiersten White

#67. I consider myself a pretty good conversationalist, but you wind up being downgraded to idiot status when you don't speak the language!

Alec Baldwin

#68. Four flips the gun in this hand, presses the barrel to Peter's forehead, and clicks a bullet into place. Peter freezes with his lips parted, the yawn dead in his mouth. "Wake. Up," Four snaps. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it.

Veronica Roth

#69. And you, sir, are an idiot.

Kiera Cass

#70. You cannot reason with an IDIOT!"--Tarzan's Greatest Adventure(1959)

Kruger

#71. When I started out in the duck-call business, my college buddies would come in and say, 'Robertson, you have a college degree. What are you doing?' Then they drove away saying, 'What an idiot!' Thirty-five years later, they're saying, 'The sucker's a genius!'

Si Robertson

#72. Hurt my fluffy bunny, will you? The following moments were a red-tinged blur as he took care of the humans who dared hurt his Miranda. The idiot with the flamethrower screamed the loudest when Chase yanked off his arm and beat him with it. When that stopped being fun, he tore out his throat.

Eve Langlais

#73. Missing out an apostrophe or two does not make you an idiot. But equating party allegiance with nationhood certainly makes you a thug. And thugs don't often notice that they're thugs, usually because they're also idiots.

Robert Webb

#74. They sold me a duvet cover, and I don't have a duvet, I don't think. Then, they started treating me like I'm the idiot. They're like, 'Do you have a comforter?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, you have to protect it!' I had no idea it was under attack.

Alonzo Bodden

#75. I don't think you can write an experience as you're having it without being an idiot.

Jessa Crispin

#76. Always put your cap on your lens, because you never know which idiot will bump into your camera. And eventually that idiot will be you.

Ben Tolosa

#77. You can learn a lot from criticism if you can take what's constructive out of it. If you read a review that starts with, 'This person is an idiot; who do they think they are?', you're not going to learn anything from that.

Blake Lively

#78. It's very hard not to be condescending when you're explaining something to an idiot.

Bill Maher

#79. I am not an idiot," I say. "Which is why I know that it's a little weird that, of all the girls you could have chosen, you chose me. So if you're just looking for ... um, you know ... that ... " "What? Sex?" He scowls at me.

Veronica Roth

#80. A stylist might say you look amazing in anything. Your family will always tell you if you look a complete idiot.

Mika.

#81. You can't make anything idiot proof because idiots are so ingenious.

Ron Burns

#82. I say on the air all time, "if you take what I say as gospel, you're an idiot."

Glenn Beck

#83. You're very lovely, gatita."
Her brows pulled together, and she gave him a skeptical stare.
"Do not look at your master as if he's an idiot.

Cherise Sinclair

#84. Yes, failure is part of the mix, he says, but it is a means, not an end. If you fail repeatedly, and in the same manner, you're an idiot, not a genius.

Eric Weiner

#85. My father said that love at first sight should send you running, if you know what's good for you. It's your dark pieces having instant recognition with their dark pieces, he says. You're an idiot if you think it means you've met your soul mate. So I was an idiot.

Deb Caletti

#86. You're like the cute version of the village idiot.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#87. Look at yourself, idiot. You reek like the slaughter-house. Plan your dastard's revenge as you like. But for those of us liking our company civilized, spare us the horror and bathe yourself first!

Janny Wurts

#88. Cheesy lines like that will get you nowhere with me, but, by all means, keep them coming. You're so much easier to ignore when you're being an idiot.

Kelly Oram

#89. It might make me selfish, and an idiot, but when you needed time to get your head together after you'd had your heart broken by a commando, hanging at a mountain hideaway with a biker was a good way to heal

Kristen Ashley

#90. Luke and his timing tapped me on the shoulder. What was I going to say to the best friend I ever had? Too bad you're an idiot and broke up with her, it's my turn. No, that wouldn't go over well.

Shannon Dermott

#91. Figures you'd be a fire demon."
"It's what makes me so hot." He arched a brow and she snorted.
"Idiot."

-Ysabel & Remy

Eve Langlais

#92. (Lucy to Isabeau)"
"Cool." She tilted her head. "You don't look crazy."
"You're like a runaway train," Logan groaned at her. "Can't you shut her up?" he asked his brother pleadingly.
"How?" Nicholas said somewhat helplessly.
"Kiss her, you idiot.

Alyxandra Harvey

#93. You can't really dance properly to James Brown. If you dance to James Brown, you look like an idiot. There's a lot of jerking.

Sandra Bullock

#94. Mahound comes to me for revelation, asking me to choose between monotheist and henotheist alternatives, and I'm just some idiot actor having a bhaenchud nightmare, what the fuck do I know, yaar, what to tell you, help. Help.

Salman Rushdie

#95. Are you telling me in your own gentle way to stop whining?"
"Yes."
"I don't feel like a hero. I feel like an idiot."
"I think heroes generally do, but those men believe in you."
"I did wait until I was outside before I threw up.

Megan Whalen Turner

#96. Why'd he pull you over, Duane?" This question came from Billy.
"He's an idiot. He said my tail light was out."
"Is your tail light out?"
"Yes. But he's still an idiot.

Penny Reid

#97. You're a fool, a damn fool, an awful fool, an idiot, an awful idiot, a damn idiot, and a fool, a damn fool

Ray Bradbury

#98. Menoeceus wants his father. (Astrid)
Bob is crying because he wants his mother to stop calling him that crap-ass name. It's all right, Bob. Daddy's got you now. I'm saving you from Mommy's bad naming taste. I'd be crying, too, if my mom named me after an idiot. (Zarek)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#99. What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking; if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.

Patton Oswalt

#100. I get the feeling," Alec said, and smiled, "she hasn't forgiven me for betraying you, as she sees it."
"Good girl," said Jace with appreciation.
"I didn't betray you, idiot."
"It's the thought that counts.

Cassandra Clare

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