Top 100 Waitress's Quotes
#1. I've always been melancholic. At a party, everyone would be looking at the glittering chandeliers and I'd be looking at the waitress's cracked shoes.
Marian Keyes
#2. The only honourable work my parents knew was blue-collar. But while my father Robert ran a pawnbroker's shop, and my mother was a waitress, I moved into a middle-class world with a level of security they never knew.
Norman Foster
#3. You can't come out of drama school and think, 'It's all going to be amazing.' You have to expect to work in a bar for at least five years and be a waitress for maybe two!
Emilia Clarke
#4. When I was about 17, I had a row with my mother and left home for six months, renting a flat and working as a waitress for a while. I learnt you could double your earnings if you gave good, cheerful service. It taught me that in any job you can improve your lot.
Anne Robinson
#5. I have been waiting on her all my life. I was the waitress. Waiting on her and waiting for her. What was I waiting for? Waiting for her to step into her self or step out of her invalid self. Waiting for her to take the voyage out of her gloom, to buy a ticket to a vital life.
Deborah Levy
#6. I think I'm a kind of a person who works hard at whatever I do, literally from being a waitress to being on television. I always try to give 110 percent to whatever it is I'm doing.
Teri Hatcher
#7. Where, incidentally, a holiday meal was not being served. My mother worked as a waitress at Palmer's Supper
Larry Watson
#8. If home is to have a greater lure than a tavern the wife must be at least as cheerful as the waitress.
Phyllis Schlafly
#9. My mother was a waitress in a Lyons Corner House, but she married up. She was keen on bettering herself. She taught me how to use the right knives and forks and behave properly.
Charles Dance
#10. If the waitress comes, order me a coffee and something that involves bacon.
Maggie Stiefvater
#11. The waitress, a plain brunette disguised as a pretty brunette...
Gillian Flynn
#12. I never pictured myself in California. I just thought I would be a character actress in New York on the stage. I never really had that stardom goal; I just wanted to be able to work as an actress and not as a waitress.
Rhea Perlman
#13. I'll bet I'm as old as you are."
"I'm older than Sanskrit."
"Well, I was waitress at the Last Supper."
"I'm so old I remember when McDonald's had only sold a hundred burgers."
"You win.
Tom Robbins
#14. Enchantment can be done with writing but I think enchantment is basically a prospective or an operating system for life. That you can enchant a person who is assigning your airplane seat, your hotel room, your waiter, your waitress.
Guy Kawasaki
#15. A petite, absolutely delightful waitress who, like everyone else, doesn't speak one word of English. But her smile is multilingual.
John Cameron Smith
#16. I was raised by my grandparents, and they always made sure that I had a pencil and some paper, whether we were in the car or at a restaurant. While they were enjoying a nice meal, I would be sitting there drawing funny pictures of the waitress.
Jarrett J. Krosoczka
#17. I got lost a lot, and I was a really bad waitress ... I got lost on the subway.
Piper Perabo
#18. I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. "Hey, enjoy your meal."
"You, too. But you don't have one, do ya? I'm a dufus. If you do eat enjoy it when you eat it if you have a break or something, later. If you get an opportunity." That's all I'm trying to say.
Brian Regan
#19. If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.
Jay Mohr
#20. I'd much rather have sat there and just been a fly on the wall, instead of having to smile at people. I'd rather have been a waitress. Just gone round and stared at people.
Jennifer Saunders
#21. How a person treats their waitress is a great indication of their character.
Amy Poehler
#22. "You don't have to be in shape to bowl. It's the only sport where there's a way to signal for a cocktail waitress."
Robin Roberts
#23. The waitress brought a fresh pot of tea, and Marty refilled his father's cup and poured a cup for Samantha. Henry in turn filled Marty's. It was a tradition Henry cherished - never filling your own cup, always filling that of someone else, who would return the favor.
Jamie Ford
#26. Last time I was down South I walked into this restaurant, and this white waitress came up to me and said: 'We don't serve colored people here.' I said: 'that's all right, I don't eat colored people. Bring me a whole fried chicken.
Dick Gregory
#27. Look, I realize both of you could happily strangle each other across the table, but I don't think that's the most effective use of our time, and frankly, I don't think I have enough money to tip the waitress for that kind of clean-up. And look, here's lunch. Let's eat that instead of eachother.
Maggie Stiefvater
#28. It's just that I'm curious, that's all. He usually walks alone" "Yeah, he's a loner, all right," the waitress murmured. "Even when he's with someone, he's alone.
David Goodis
#29. Waitress!" Hedge called. "Six double espressos, and whatever these guys want. Put it on the girl's tab.
Rick Riordan
#30. I've always had this American-pie face that would get work in commercials ... I'd say things like, 'Hi, Marge, how's your laundry?' and 'Hi, I'm a real nice Georgia peach.' Sometimes this work is one step above being a cocktail waitress.
Teri Garr
#31. Stepping inside Daisy's Diner, I was greeted by Rachel, the evening waitress, who side-eyed me as I walked in with Jeremiah. A cautious smile tugged at the corners of her mouth when she saw us. She winked at me as she grabbed the menus,
Sky Shifter
#32. [A]pparently, it's okay to WORK as a waitress but not to BE a waitress.
Deb Caletti
#33. The woman set Sig's chocolate orgy out in front of her and deposited my steak on the table.
"Y'all must work out," the waitress observed a little sourly. She apparently did not.
"I'm going to throw this up later," Sig said expressionlessly.
"I have a tapeworm," I said cheerfully.
Elliott James
#34. I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."
Frank Carson
#35. "You're an old man who dresses like a Hooter's waitress."
Greg Giraldo
#36. I get tired of hearing it's a crummy world and that people are no damned good. What kind of talk is that? I know a place in Payette, Idaho, where a cook and a waitress and a manager put everything they've got into laying a chicken-fried steak on you.
Robert Fulghum
#37. A movie of mine is going to be released in Japan next year. I play a waitress who's a really regular girl in this movie. The English title isn't decided yet, but in Japanese it's I'll Get on the A Train Sometime.
Chiaki Kuriyama
#38. I've never been a waitress, hostess, bartender or any of the typical side jobs you'd expect an actor to have. This is partly because I've always been afraid of dropping plates on customer's heads.
Candace Kita
#39. Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious.
Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed a passing waitress by the arm and berated her.
"Why's this fish so bloody good?" he demanded, angrily.
Douglas Adams
#40. I was never a nightclub manager or a hostess. I want to make that very clear. I was an executive at my club. I was a director of VIP operations, that's much different than a manager, that's much different than a waitress, it's different than, you know, a host - I was like an executive-level position
Rachel Uchitel
#41. Then she smiled as if the woman had already helped her. If there was one thing Blue had learned while being a waitress and dog walker and Maura Sargent's daughter, it was that people generally became the kind of person you expected them to be.
Maggie Stiefvater
#42. As a coping mechanism, or as a way to make a little hard count by shilling demons in the shadows, I try not to belittle the thought process of the conspiracy theorists. As a cocktail waitress in Vegas once schooled me: never get down on anybody else's hustle.
John Ridley
#43. Patrick Kenzie asking a bemused waitress for a newspaper in smalltown USA. 'It's like a homepage without a scroll button?
Dennis Lehane
#44. I spent a lot of time listening to people. But it's also true that I liked details and listening to people when I was a bartender and when I was a waitress and probably when I was a babysitter as well. I suspect that's part of what drew me to psychotherapy rather than the other way around.
Amy Bloom
#45. There will always be ways to pay my rent, whether I wind up having to be a waitress on the side or whatever it is, but I think it's so important for me to do things that I'm passionate about.
Juno Temple
#46. I don't love comedy but I can watch someone who's kind of interesting forever. I think a waitress who's having a bad day is a lot more fun than Robin Williams doing forty minutes of material.
Bruce McCulloch
#47. A waitress, bringing Finkler more hot water, interrupted Treslove's answer. Finkler always asked for more hot water no matter how much hot water had already been brought. It was his way of asserting power, Treslove thought. No doubt Nietzsche, too, ordered more hot water than he needed.
Howard Jacobson
#48. The waitress had the appearance of a very old hooker who had finally found her place in life
Hunter S. Thompson
#49. I wasn't a very good waitress, always spilling things on people and forgetting things. I once spilled ashes all over Mike Wallace's table.
Tracy Pollan
#50. I kind of wanted to be a waitress in New York City. I thought it was fun and glamorous in its own way. Like in the movie 'Beaches,' when Bette Midler is banging on the radiator, and it's cold, and she's poor. I kind of thought that would be fun to be, like, a poor, struggling actor.
Kether Donohue
#51. I was very poor and I was a waitress, and it's hard to be a poor waitress in New York.
Kristin Davis
#52. Women were beyond me.
they saw something
depraved.
there was one waitress
a little older than
I, she rather smiled,
lingered when she
brought my
coffee.
that was plenty for
me, that was
enough.
- Young in New Orleans
Charles Bukowski
#53. I feel so fortunate and lucky I don't have to be a waitress or a bartender or a personal trainer.
Abbie Cobb
#54. Little closer, as if I hadn't quite heard him. I leaned at an angle five degrees less acute than the waitress had. - What's that? - I was wondering if there's a melody in there. - It just went out for a smoke. It'll be back in a minute. But I take it that you don't
Amor Towles
#55. Kelsey was jealous of the waitress. I almost laughed. This beautiful girl was absolutely perfect for me. How could I look at another?#Ren
Colleen Houck
#56. Aunt Bette." I started squirming toward her voice. "Are you okay?" "No, I'm not okay. We've been kidnapped and Marsh is drinking martinis and probably flirting with the waitress!" she snapped, and it sounded like she too was moving but not in my direction.
Kristen Ashley
#57. I wanted to be a landscape architect, but I trained as a teacher; I worked in publishing; I was a waitress.
Deborah Moggach
#58. Who's to say I'm not an entirely different person? Because I am. You have to understand, five years ago I was a waitress.
Lady Gaga
#59. I got an emergency leave. I visited my dad on his deathbed. His last words to me: "Try to pick up every waitress who serves you.
James Ellroy
#60. I love people and want to be good to people. If I'm in restaurant and somebody doesn't treat a waitress right, I literally will leave. I will unfriend you. You are not my friend anymore.
Kristen Stewart
#61. You better get used to touchy-feely around here, sweetie
Alex Rosa
#62. If I only did theatre I would have had to waitress, and I didn't want to waitress.
Kim Cattrall
#63. My first waitress job was at Johnny Rockets in New Jersey, and then I waited tables at a sports bar.
Melissa Rauch
#64. We settled in a booth at Bishop's 4th Street Diner, an aging silver zeppelin on the rotary outside the naval base, grungy and stuffed with Betty Boop tchotchkes in the windows. The waitress greeted Abbass familiarly and promptly took her order: a hamburger, rare, and fries.
Marilyn Johnson
#65. I was working as a cocktail waitress in a heavy metal bar. Then, my manager said I should try some acting, which led to an audition Satisfaction, where I played a musician in an all-girl band. That movie is where I met my future ex-husband Jody Porter.
Britta Phillips
#66. Along the way, I've worked as a waitress, I've done phone surveys, and worked as a receptionist, and for the last twenty years I've taught. When I was an actor, the key was to find a job that kept your days free to audition.
Debra Dean
#67. A sacred picture of Saint Anthony alone is one vertical, unwavering band of light. If a cockroach were near him, or a cocktail waitress, the picture would be two such bands of light. Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is just dead machinery.
Kurt Vonnegut
#68. Refills are free, the waitress tells us with a frown, like she's hoping we're not the kind of people who ask for endless refills. I am already pretty sure we are exactly those people.
Holly Black
#69. And can you get this girl something with a laxative effect?" I add to the waitress, refusing to spare Sophie a glance as I slide my menu back into place. "My treat. I just can't stand to see someone so full of shit, you know? Especially when her boyfriend keeps feeding her more of it.
Dahlia Adler
#70. Working for several years as a waitress, you learn really quickly a couple of default scripts, so you know exactly what the interaction is going to be when the person sits down at the table.
Ann Leckie
#71. When my parents met, my mother was a waitress and my father was a dockyard worker. They were part of that post-war better-yourself generation, so they both went to night school.
Alison Owen
#72. I've worked since it was basically legal to work. I was a waitress on and off for eight years. I worked at Sears; I worked at Abercrombie folding clothes. My dad really instilled good money management habits, and I've saved 10 percent of my paycheck, every paycheck, since I was 15.
Rosanna Pansino
#73. I'm sorry. I can't serve him that item," the waitress said, only somewhat surprising her since she had a pretty good idea why.
"Why not?" she found herself asking anyway out of curiosity to see if she was right.
***
"Because he's a Bradford," the woman explained with a shrug.
R.L. Mathewson
#74. For the rest of my life I'll be thinking about that hamburger. I'll be sitting there at the counter, holding it in my hands with tears streaming down my cheeks. The waitress will be looking away because she doesn't like to see kids crying when they are eating hamburgers ...
Richard Brautigan
#75. Teddy Roosevelt supported a progressive income tax. If I am sitting pretty and you've got a waitress who is making minimum wage plus tips, and I can afford it and she can't, what's the big deal for me to say, 'I'm going to pay a little bit more'? That is neighborliness.
Barack Obama
#76. Auditioning for television shows - to find a guy who has a lot of experience as a laborer is a bit of an anomaly. We do exist.I know several other actors who have made their living, instead of a waitress job, framing houses or blacktopping roads.
Nick Offerman
#77. For seven years after college, I was a waitress at the Buttercup Bakery in Berkeley, and from there I got a job at Merrill Lynch as an account executive, from where I went to vice president of investments for Prudential-Bache Securities. I started my own firm in 1987.
Suze Orman
#78. My stand-up has always been very character-based. I'm not really the kind of person that's like, 'Hey, here's what's on my mind! Tip your waitress!' I would create the jokes based on the character I was playing. It was always a performance-based thing for me.
Mary Lynn Rajskub
#79. She is a waitress at his lordships club.
My God! The Proletariat!
The lower middle classes, sir.
Well, yes, by stretching it a bit, perhaps.
P.G. Wodehouse
#80. As a former waitress myself, I know firsthand how a simple smile from someone can improve your day and how a single harsh word can destroy it. Being courteous and thoughtful costs you nothing and can sometimes pay you dividends in unexpected ways.
Susanna Kearsley
#81. Yogi ordered a pizza. The waitress asked How many pieces do you want your pie cut? Yogi responded, Four. I don't think I could eat eight.
Yogi Berra
#82. I'd played dumbasses a lot. On Mad About You, I played a very dumb waitress and they saw me.
Lisa Kudrow
#83. If the waitress has dirty ankles, the chili is good.
Al McGuire
#84. My mother, who was a waitress, gave me white wedgies and a fresh uniform in a plain wrapper. "You'll never make it as a waitress," she said, "but I'll stake you anyway." It was her way of showing her support.
Patti Smith
#85. I own the restaurant. There are a lot of cooks, waiters and waitresses in this restaurant. They worry about their problems. I worry about all the problems.
Mack Brown
#86. I can not love you until you can love our beautiful waitress in the simple way that I do.
Derrick Brown
#87. Far as I can see, we mostly exist as *ideas* in each other's heads. The way *you* see me. The way my *boss* sees me. The way the *waitress* at Lindy's sees me.
Mike Carey
#88. We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, 'I have a problem with procrastination, too.' I said 'Really? ... Get my sandwich.'
Ellen DeGeneres
#89. Inside Metro Diner, we grab a table near the back. A waitress who clearly ate a water buffalo for breakfast waddles to our table.
Victoria Scott
#90. Flappers sounds like where waitresses go after they're too old to work at Hooters.
Ray Romano
#91. I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need a Screaming Orgasm". At the time this was the last thing on my mind ...
Terry Pratchett
#92. The postman wants an autograph. The cab driver wants a picture. The waitress wants a handshake. Everyone wants a piece of you.
John Lennon
#93. I'd probably be famous now if I wasn't such a good waitress.
Jane Siberry
#94. I couldn't stand was Buddy's pretending I was so sexy and he was so pure, when all the time he'd been having an affair with that tarty waitress and must have felt like laughing in my face.
Sylvia Plath
#95. Television, I love it, everything that happened before television lumped together, never caused folks to turn on a street to stare at me, or waitresses to ask for autographs.
Bennett Cerf
#96. I'm probably a lot closer than perhaps the contents of my early fiction suggest to a jaded Denny's waitress with smoker's-lung-black humor than a ghost hunter.
Karen Russell
#97. The waitress looked a little awkward. "Is all that for both you and your sister?
J.R. Ward
#98. My mother and father had so many ups and downs and stayed with each other and helped each other. My mother took in ironing and she was a waitress. My father was working in the factory and he did people's tax returns.
Patti Smith
#99. I don't have a lot of skills, but one thing I can do is, I can compartmentalize. I can make that a little world that I can go back to, so I can be a waitress, or I can be a teacher, and then go and work on my book.
Dana Spiotta
#100. To quote Shirley Polanski, head waitress at the Humdinger Diner: "Beware of a big man whose stomach doesn't move when he laughs."
I think a Chinese philosopher said it first, but these things trickle down to the food service community.
Joan Bauer
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