Top 86 Very Sarcastic Sayings
#1. I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires ...
Nicole Holofcener
#2. The sarcastic little know-it-all needs help, does he?
John Flanagan
#3. The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.
Ricky Gervais
#4. Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter.
Vann Chow
#5. You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.
Mark Twain
#7. Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.
John Cleese
#8. It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
Barack Obama
#9. We went to Mexico, had some tequlia, eloped with a pair of drug smugglers, and took part-time jobs as exotic dancers. You know, same old, same old.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
#10. EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
Ambrose Bierce
#11. His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison.
John Quincy Adams
#13. I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it.
M.L. LeGette
#14. CALVIN:
Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
Bill Watterson
#15. She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.
Robertson Davies
#16. She was a sarcastic bitch and when she was pissed off the sarcasm took on a life of it's own.
Suzanne Wrightt
#17. No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
#18. My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays.
Daphne Zuniga
#19. Everyone knows what a hypocrite is. That's the guy who gripes about the sex, violence and nudity on his VCR.
Zig Ziglar
#20. You're one of those people who fall off a tree and never quite reach the ground.
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
#21. Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic.
Jonathan Stroud
#22. I don't fancy myself as a very sarcastic person in real life.
Reggie Lee
#23. So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.
Lish McBride
#24. In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.
Lea Thompson
#25. I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
Jerry Seinfeld
#26. Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there.
Kira Peikoff
#27. It's a sort of piss-take on culture, because a drag queen is a clown - a parody of our society. It's a sarcastic spoof on culture, which allows us to laugh at ourselves - but in a way that is inclusive of everyone.
RuPaul
#28. No, and I don't like mornin' people... or mornin's... or people."
"Wow, I'm a lucky guy to have you, baby."
Sarcastic pig!
L.A. Casey
#29. ...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands.
K.R. Grace
#30. Yes, you'd make a great partner for him. What with the embezzling and the adultery and the drinking. That's what every man wants in a wife - a vaguely alcoholic, fornicating thief.
Eleanor Brown
#31. The cleanest civilization I've ever seen ... and the number one thing you pack for a wedding is a jar of dirt?
M.A. George
#32. I'm totally an East Coast person, energetic and sarcastic. I'm not a nice L.A. person.
Diane Warren
#33. You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.
P. J. O'Rourke
#34. So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
Alan Bennett
#36. We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.
Brendon Urie
#37. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
Russell Lynes
#38. It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.
Jess C. Scott
#39. There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.
Courtney Kirchoff
#40. It pains me to admit this, but Roger was a good sight less stupid than most children.
Heidi Schulz
#41. Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.
Sydney Smith
#42. He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
John Ruskin
#43. His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.
Charles Lamb
#44. A lot of people are alive because I shed too much hair to get away with murder.
Darynda Jones
#45. Don't get smart or sarcastic
He snaps back just like elastic
Spare us the theatrics and the verbal gymnastics
We break wise guys just like matchsticks
Elvis Costello
#47. She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.
Heinrich Heine
#48. The cat looked as if it were about to say something sarcastic. Then it flicked its whiskers and said, Challenge her. There's no guarantee she'll play fair, but her kind of thing loves games and challenges.
Neil Gaiman
#51. When did you last see her?" "Twenty-four hours ago." Kenny's pretend frown barely hid the beginning of a sarcastic grin. "That's a really long time." Jett knew
J.C. Reed
#52. I've got everything I need right here." That sentimental thought met a room full of cheesy and sarcastic "aw's" and an empty water bottle thrown at my head. No, stop guys, really. You're embarrassing me.
Rachel Higginson
#53. For hearts that are kindly, with virtue and peace, and not seeking blindly a hoard to increase; for those who are grieving o'er life's sordid plan; for souls still believing in heaven and man; for homes that are lowly with love at the board; for things th
Walter Mason Camp
#54. The waiter smiled a polite little waiter's smile. He had almost exhausted his polite little waiter repertoire and would soon be slipping into his role of a rather tight-lipped and sarcastic little waiter.
Douglas Adams
#55. The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.
Oscar Wilde
#56. As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.
John Knowles
#57. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.
Lorrie Moore
#58. I don't need a hero. I was blessed with a large amount of common sense, which is of infinitely more use than a man.
Karen Hawkins
#60. I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.
Otto Von Bismarck
#62. You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock."
"Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone.
Cassandra Clare
#63. I was never very good at being an unemployed actor. I always thought that I should have been doing something pro-active. I was never good at doing juvenile leads. I suppose it's because I have this big sarcastic head on me.
Deirdre O'Kane
#64. My whole family is very sarcastic and constantly making jokes.
Emily Deschanel
#65. If you are rude, cynical, habitually-sarcastic or pessimistic, your life options are going to be very limited.
Bryant McGill
#66. My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical.
Tim Heidecker
#67. I grew up as a very sarcastic person. I was always the class clown, and to date girls, I had to be really funny. I was really skinny growing up. I was so thin, I had to run around in the shower to get wet. That kind of thin. So I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm.
Kurt Fuller
#68. What you said hurt me very much. I cried all the way to the bank.
Liberace
#69. Musical people always want one to be perfectly dumb at the very moment when one is longing to be perfectly deaf.
Oscar Wilde
#71. I can be a very sarcastic person, and sometimes people take every word I say literally.
Sasha Grey
#72. He makes a very handsome corpse and becomes his coffin prodigiously.
Oliver Goldsmith
#73. I played a lot of sarcastic, wisecracking characters for a long time, and people would think that was me. And it's very much not me, and then people would think I was being sarcastic when I wasn't: 'Oh, you're making fun of me right now.' And I wasn't!
Zooey Deschanel
#74. You are, however, surprisingly light of touch."
"Pardon?"
"The way you're holding my hand. I always thought you'd be more of a mauler. Like a diseased wolf chewing the knuckles off me fist."
"That's very nice."
"Not really."
"I was being sarcastic."
"Oh. I see. Where are we?
G.A. Aiken
#75. In my work, and in my psyche, there's some very sentimental, traditional, conventional side that's always in argument with a more radical, sarcastic side. Some of my stories are really sentimental, but they're layered over with weird, satirical stuff.
George Saunders
#77. I grew up in a family of ten. You had to have, like, a burst appendix to get the floor ... My brothers and sisters are very quick, intense, brilliant, very sarcastic people. And they were always right there with you, right there, missing not one little throat clearing.
Mary Robison
#78. Tell the cook of this restaurant with my compliments that these are the very worst sandwiches in the whole world, and that, when I ask for a watercress sandwich, I do not mean a loaf with a field in the middle of it.
Oscar Wilde
#79. When I present those clip shows and movie mistakes and things, the persona the writers adopt for me is unimpressed, superior, very sarcastic - I'm not any of that. I can do it, but that's not what I'm like.
Robert Webb
#80. I'm very bubbly, so when people meet me, they sometimes think I'm fake. I'm excited to meet new people, but I guess I sound like I'm being sarcastic.
Lyndsy Fonseca
#81. All of your sarcastic - "
"Multilayered."
" - answers will not help your cause. You're very flippant about these proceedings.
Kresley Cole
#82. You have sensible women here [in England] but then, they are very devils
censorious, uncharitable, sarcastic
the women in Scotland have twice
thrice their freedom, with all their virtue
and are very conversable and agreeable
their educations are more finished.
Fanny Burney
#83. The Australian sense of humor is very dry, sarcastic, and very undercover. Like if I tell any jokes in America, people just think I'm serious! So I just quit telling any jokes whatsoever.
Heath Ledger
#85. My father was a very unhappy person, very sarcastic, and my mother was very nervous and worried about what people thought. They weren't monsters, but it wasn't a good childhood.
Paula Danziger
#86. I'm very used to playing the tomboy or the sarcastic cynic. That's my go-to. Playing the vulnerable of a real girl that's in real womanlike situations, where it's romanticized, I'm a little nervous about it.
Kristen Bell
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