Top 100 Valentine S Day Quotes
#1. I hate Valentine's day. It is a day for nothing but disappointment.
Larisa Oleynik
#2. I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day ... Chlamydia.
Frankie Boyle
#3. As the World Champion, every day is pretty much like Valentine's Day for me - as far as hooking up with the ladies.
Judah Friedlander
#4. Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a, well, it's a manufactured day that really doesn't mean anything.
Jon Stewart
#5. I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?
Jay Leno
#6. Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.
David Letterman
#7. When I got old enough to date, I realized that Valentine's Day is just a commercial marketing scam to make men feel bad. So I let my boyfriends off the hook.
Evangeline Lilly
#8. She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
Milton Berle
#9. Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time.
Emma McLaughlin
#11. A broke man's lover doesn't feel 'loved' on her Birthday, Christmas, and, on Valentine's Day.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
#12. May your Valentine's Day be filled with adoration, pampering, and a pair of gorgeous, tiny-heeled Jimmy Choo sandals that are completely useless in this weather. Just remember: You are totally worth it.
Cecily Von Ziegesar
#13. My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine's Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside Made in Taiwan!
Leopold Fechtner
#14. I like doing something romantic with a girl on Valentine's Day, like making her dinner and keeping it simple. The more quality time, the better.
Spencer Boldman
#15. The 99 Cent Only Store is calling itself your Valentine's Day headquarters. Guys, if that's your Valentine's Day headquarters, you can also call the garage your new home.
Jay Leno
#16. I think men and women will both agree that one of the perks of being single on Valentine's Day is that you get to keep your money in your pocket.
Sevyn Streeter
#17. Here's my problem. On Valentine's Day the flowers are wilting and so am I.
David Letterman
#18. You're going to make me dance to this, aren't you?" he asked.
"It's Valentine's Day, Finch. Pretend I'm a boy."
He laughed, pulling me into his arms. "It's hard to do that when you're wearing a short pink dress."
"Whatever. Like you've never seen a boy in a dress."
Finch shrugged. "True.
Jamie McGuire
#19. Valentine's Day itself, like most holidays in the modern era, has been heavily influenced by commercialism that focuses on the appeal of romantic fantasies.
Aberjhani
#20. I'm very Italian, so I love cooking for friends. Whether it's Valentine's Day and my boyfriend and girlfriends' boyfriends are away, or someone's in town, or someone had a baby, I cook.
Sofia Milos
#21. Valentine's day has gotten blown way out of proportion. Valentine's Day just used to be for your girlfriend or your wife but now everyone's like 'Oh, happy valentine's day!' I even got a Valentine's Day card from my grandmother. How ridiculous is that? We stopped having sex years ago!
Greg Giraldo
#22. I love Valentine's Day! I love it, I love it, I love it. I like having doors opened for me. My favorite romantic comedy is 'When Harry Met Sally.'
Ginnifer Goodwin
#23. On valentine's day every girl should deserve a rose rather than one
PureDragonWolf
#24. I wanted to do a set of love songs for Valentine's Day so I went through my old material. I found myself scraping around the edges of good taste.
Tom Rush
#25. I feel you not only on Valentine's day but with every breath of everyday.
Debasish Mridha
#26. Sure, okay, enjoy World Book Day but celebrating reading one day a year is like "getting some" only on Valentine's Day.
Harlan Coben
#27. I wouldn't cut you out of my life Clary, any more than I would cut off my right hand and give it to someone as a Valentine's Day gift."
Gross," said Clary. "Must you?"
Simon grinned. "I must.
Cassandra Clare
#28. Valentine's Day is an extraordinary moment for recalling the lasting power of a true love.
M.F. Moonzajer
#29. At times like these, size really does matter, I point out, at I extend my ginormous umbrella over her in a way that stops any rain droplets from falling on her.
My Best Valentine's Day Ever, A Short Story by Zack Love
Zack Love
#30. If you can believe it, Hollywood wanted to change my birthdate. I was born after Valentine's Day, so they wanted to change it to February 14. A Latin lover should be born on Valentine's Day. I said no.
Cesar Romero
#31. I don't celebrate Valentine's Day. It gets in the way of Black History Month. Cupid didn't free any slaves.
Damien Lemon
#32. I have a dream, and a plan, to combine the commercial possibilities of Valentine's Day with the substance and meaning of black history month. I call it: Blackentine's Day.
Mo Rocca
#33. Today's Valentine's Day. There's a whole day devoted solely to love. Does that make any sense? Nah. Love makes us all crazy. But it's fun too.
Lisa Greenwald
#34. Depressed people tended to end things on special occasions and party goers drank too much and then got behind the wheels of vehicles. But Valentine's Day wasn't too bad as far as suicides and car wrecks were concerned.
Abbi Glines
#35. In a recent Valentine's Day posting on her fan website, Britney Spears says that - oh, who cares?
Amy Poehler
#36. I hope what's different for not only the channel 'It's Grace' 2014, but for the brand overall, is I hope to continue to expand into other areas of creative content and original content. We have 'Camp Takota' coming out on Valentine's Day - we're all so pumped for it! It's so exciting!
Grace Helbig
#37. Do what you do. This Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, Twelfth Night, Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras, St. Paddy's Day, and every day henceforth. Just do what you do. Live out your life and your traditions on your own terms.
If it offends others, so be it. That's their problem.
Chris Rose
#38. Without Valentine's Day, February would be ... well, January.
Jim Gaffigan
#39. Valentine's Day is a day to be expressive and grateful to the one you love. - James Stuart Bell -
Gary Chapman
#40. Don't confuse [Father's Day] with Valentine's Day, and here's why. Boy, will you creep him out. I can just tell you from last year, uh, even if they do like chocolate, they don't want it from their son.
Jon Stewart
#41. On Valentine's Day, we are reminded what our relationships could be like the other 364.
Steve Maraboli
#42. It was V-day and I was stuck at home while the guy I was dating was at an Anti-Valentine's Day party. How wrong was that? It was one thing to be totally alone on V-day, but another to want to be with someone who would rather spend the evening protesting love instead of making it.
Kate Madison
#43. The park was littered with couples kissing behind trees and making out on park benches. And paper stars were everywhere; in trees, on the ground, above heads, inside mouths ...
It was like Valentine's Day.
On crack.
Chelsea Fine
#44. I'll know coffee works without cream and sugar when I see people buying unsweetened bakers chocolate for Valentine's Day.
Kevin Sinnott
#45. I have many valentines. My mom and my sister and my directors. I got calls from all of them. And my friends. I respect what Valentine's Day stands for because it is about love.
Michelle Trachtenberg
#46. our distinction from the apes has brought us TV, the police, and the rituals of Valentine's Day.
Steve W. Duck
#47. February is a month of months, and there is one special day: Valentine's Day on the 14th. I know it's still a ways off, but I just can't wait. Janice, if you're watching, will you make me the happiest man in the world and get out of my apartment?
Ed Helms
#48. People love in different ways. You may have a man who brings you flowers every Monday but doesn't give two hooty-hoots about Valentine's Day. Just because he doesn't give you a valentine doesn't mean he doesn't love you!
Jada Pinkett Smith
#49. So I'm delighted to open up a bit about these particular details, in honor of Valentine's Day (when every balding, chubby, and short actuary wants people - especially the babes out there - to know about his studly past"
From: "My Best Valentine's Day.Ever: a Short Story
Zack Love
#50. On this Valentine's Day I like to whisper in your ear the silent songs of my heart.
Debasish Mridha
#51. All of us, consciously or unconsciously, set out to have the best possible love life. Valentine's Day simply shines a light on the degree to which that didn't - or hasn't yet - materialized.
Tracy McMillan
#52. I'm anti-Valentine's Day. I don't believe - and this goes for anybody - your man shouldn't love you for one day out of 365. He should love you 365 days out of the year. I want Valentine's Day every day.
Carrie Underwood
#53. Valentine's Day is a disaster. Any day that is designed to perfectly encapsulate something as messy and personal as two people in a romantic relationship would have to be. But in Night Vale it also kills people. This is called satire.
Joseph Fink
#54. I just think Valentine's Day is a day to really appreciate the person you love, no matter who it is, and to spend time with them. I don't think it's all about fancy presents or whatever. I think it's about spending that quality time with that special person.
Prince Royce
#55. To the romantic soul, the rituals of Valentine's Day echo every day of the year.
Richelle E. Goodrich
#56. I'm a hopeless romantic. I love love. My middle name is Love. Valentine's Day is my favorite holiday. I want to have a family and children. I am a sucker for every romantic comedy that comes out.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
#57. The jewelry stores say, 'Tell your wife you love her with a diamond,' while wives tell you they love you with, 'Ok, but just because it's Valentine's Day.'
George Lopez
#58. I've realized that although Valentine's Day can be a cheesy money-making stint to most people, it's a day of expressing love across the world. It doesn't have to only be between lovers, but by telling a friend that you care, or even an old person that they are still appreciated.
Reeva Steenkamp
#60. I don't really care too much about Valentine's Day ... I've never had a valentine or anything. I've always just spent it with my friends, so I don't really have much expectation for Valentine's Day.
Emma Roberts
#61. People value Halloween, like Valentine's Day, because they can tell themselves that it's not merely secularized but actually secular, which is to say, not Christian, Jewish, Hindu or Muslim.
Amity Shlaes
#62. It's called Valentine's Day, you moron. If you're going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays.
Abbi Glines
#63. Happy Valentine's day sir! Next year, happy anniversary na yan ha.
Toni Gonzaga
#64. It's February, and the walls are halfheartedly hung with Valentine's Day decorations that are supposed to add a sense of festivity, but just seem sadistic, because in an all-boys' detention center, only a select few are finding romance this year.
Neal Shusterman
#65. I think they should create a holiday for friends-with-benefits relationships. Because I feel like Valentine's Day is, maybe it's a day to stay home and cry.
Elizabeth Meriwether
#66. Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
#67. My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.
Milton Berle
#68. New Rule: This Valentine's Day Americans must remember that politicians are like a box of chocolates. We bite into them to find out what's on the inside only to discover that Democrats are too often soft and gooey and Republicans are mostly nuts.
Bill Maher
#69. The door creaked and I lifted my eyes to see Gee stick
her head back inside. "It's cal ed Valentine's Day, you moron," she announced. "If you're going to date a human, Dankmar, you need to remember their holidays." Gee gave me an exasperated look before closing the door once more.
Abbi Glines
#70. Valentine's Day is the poet's holiday.
Ted Kooser
#71. Did you send candy and flowers on Valentine's Day, Wells? It's okay, you know. He was a saint.
Richard Kadrey
#72. What to do in St Valentine's Day? Must love and love and love! What to do in other days? Must love and love and love! Because love is the atmosphere you can breathe in and do all your other jobs! Wherever there is love there is oxygen to breathe, there is life!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#73. Since love is a magic, Valentine's Day is the day of magicians! Whoever loves creates a magic; whoever is loved, a magic is created!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#74. For the first sixteen years we were together, I'd give Hugh chocolates for Valentine's Day, and he'd give me a carton of cigarettes. Both of us got exactly what we wanted, and it couldn't have been easier.
David Sedaris
#75. Clouds never get tired of giving rain to us; and you, you must never get tired of giving your love! Valentine's Day is a day to remember to give more, to love more, it is a day to behave like a heavy rain!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#76. Any guy hates Valentine's Day. Even if you're in love, you can't win on Valentine's Day. If you're married, you can't win on Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is like the thing you want to avoid at all costs.
Vince Vaughn
#77. Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!
Jay Leno
#78. Recently my eight-year-old, Marre, asked, "What happened to my Valentine's Day candy?" Like a good parent, I lied: "I don't know." Not missing a beat, she responded, "Oh well, I'll just have some of my Easter candy." There
Jim Gaffigan
#79. Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet.
Santosh Kalwar
#80. She felt HORRIBLE. It was the greatest Valentine's Day gift I've ever received.
Aziz Ansari
#82. I think diamonds represent luxury, indulgence, and class. So any time you can incorporate a gift that is synonymous with all those attributes, you know the other person will love it. I would challenge someone to find something that better represents Valentine's Day more than diamonds!
Chris Evans
#83. You and Ethan had some kind of something?" "You're fishing. And we didn't have something or anything. We're just bummed it's Valentine's Day and I'm spending it with you guys." "Yeah, well, tone down the magic. You're giving me split ends.
Chloe Neill
#84. Valentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.
Lewis Black
#85. There were two main points I wanted to get across in Valentine, the first being that yes, Valentine's Day is an arbitrary day, but why would you not take that excuse to celebrate love? The second point ... since it is just an arbitrary day ... why not treat every day like Valentine's Day?
Kina Grannis
#86. When you wake up and see the whole creation is my valentine, the country is my valentine, the Divinity is my valentine, knowledge is my valentine then Valentine's Day will never end for you. All 365 days is Valentine's Day. That is how I feel - everyday is Valentine's Day
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
#87. When I was 19, I celebrated my first Valentine's Day while being in a relationship. I was so excited, but didn't know what the rules were. What should I get him, or was I even supposed to get him something?
Carly Craig
#88. New Year's Eve to Valentine's Day is our peak season, and in many ways, Valentine's Day is our Christmas. Everybody in the world makes the same three New Year's resolutions: health, career and money, and love.
Sam Yagan
#89. I hate Valentine's Day. I think every day should be a day of romance. Then, on Valentine's Day, you should get to tell whoever you hate that you cannot stand them. There would be one day of hating, and 364 days of love.
Ashton Kutcher
#90. I mean, there is a reason its initials are VD. I bet you more people contract syphilis on Valentine's Day than on any other day of the year. What a cause for celebration.
Kody Keplinger
#91. Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.
Jay Leno
#92. Oh God. valentine's Day tomorrow. Why? Why? Why is (the) entire world geared to make people not involved in romance feel stupid when everyone knows romance does not work anyway. Look at (the) royal family. Look at Mum and Dad.
Helen Fielding
#93. Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.
Joan Rivers
#94. I just filmed a movie with my boyfriend, an indie film called 'Conception.' And it's kind of like an R-rated version of 'Valentine's Day.' So it's like all about eight couples, and me and my boyfriend play one of them together. And that was a lot of fun.
Sarah Hyland
#95. Once, I was out of the house 93 days in a year. I was missing grandparents' days at schools and kids' birthdays and Valentine's Day, not to mention the fact that when you're on the road, you can't get anything done. I had to learn to say 'No,' cut back on travel.
Jerry Spinelli
#96. On Valentine's Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays-fear.
Dave Barry
#97. Every day in our house is like Valentine's Day. I've kept it traditional with what my dad has done with my mom. Every morning, I get up and I make coffee and I bring Giuliana coffee in bed.
Bill Rancic
#98. Be it Valentine's Day, Father's Day or Mother's Day, I feel all days are reminders of some feelings. February 14 doesn't hold any special relevance for me.
Randeep Hooda
#99. For me, one of the toughest things about Valentine's Day is that it gets geared up as the day to profess your love. See, T-E-S-T - that's a bad word that doesn't go with L-O-V-E.
Matthew McConaughey
#100. I'd never done Valentine's Day before. We didn't celebrate it in Catholic School. I understood Valentine's Day, as a concept. The naked baby shoots you with an arrow and you fall in love.
Trevor Noah
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