Top 100 The Monkeys Quotes
#1. Instead of politicians, let the monkeys govern the countries; at least they will steal only the bananas!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#2. I am not going to spend any time whatsoever in attacking the Foreign Secretary. If we complain about the tune, there is no reason to attack the monkey when the organ grinder is present.
Aneurin Bevan
#3. I would love to work with Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits, B.B. King. I'd love to do something with Arctic Monkeys, Miles Kane, and The Last Shadow Puppets. If I got a call from Juliette Lewis or PJ Harvey, or Chrissie Hynde, that'd be a thrill.
Imelda May
#4. Congress, 535 commoditized temple monkeys pawing through the ruins of America in search of bribes. The bicameral whorehouse on Capitol Hill works like a vending machine. You put coins in the slot, select your law, and the desired legislation slides out.
Fred Reed
#5. I can train a monkey to wave an American flag. That does not make the monkey patriotic.
Scott Ritter
#6. How was your day?" Morelli asked me. "Oh, you know, the usual. Stole a truck. Blew up a building, and brought seven monkeys home with me.
Janet Evanovich
#7. A few months ago, I had the pleasure of actually visiting the Playboy Mansion. I saw the peacocks, fed grapes to the monkeys, and even braved the fabled Grotto. After seeing the estate, I understood why anyone would be reluctant to leave.
Diablo Cody
#8. With the exception of the New York Times, Fox news, and Lou Dobbs of CNN, and talk radio, the rest of the mainstream media has basically been silenced like a bunch of dumb monkeys.
Curt Weldon
#9. The onus of Connecting rightly, Conceiving brightly, Conveying quietly, and Concluding wisely are the capatencies (capacity and competence) of man
Priyavrat Thareja
#10. Football is a game for trained apes. That, in fact, is what most of the players are
retarded gorillas wearing helmets and uniforms. The only thing more debased is the surrounding mob of drunken monkeys howling the gorillas on.
Edward Abbey
#11. The brown monkey's instinct to kill is correct; such men are dangerous to all monkey customs.
Robert A. Heinlein
#12. But then, after all, we are all alike, for we are all derived from the monkey.
Albert Einstein
#13. We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
Robert Wilensky
#14. Oh, dear God, you don't actually have a brain, do you, it's more a filigreed spiderweb, with little chambers in it where trained monkeys play the pipe organ.
Glen David Gold
#15. Oh, there ain't no love, no Montagues or Capulets
Just banging tunes and DJ sets
And dirty dancefloors and dreams of naughtiness
I Bet that You Look Good on the Dancefloor
Arctic Monkeys
#16. Where a pack of monkeys had traveled over the road, the smell of them lingered for a long time in the air, a dry and stale, mousy smell.
Isak Dinesen
#17. But the physical danger was judged to be less important than the psychological stresses. Eight humans, crowded together like monkeys for almost three Terran years, had better get along much better than humans usually did.
Robert A. Heinlein
#18. They lived like monkeys still, while their new god powers lay around them in the weeds.
Kim Stanley Robinson
#19. Some in management positions operate as if they are in a tree of monkeys. They make sure that everyone at the top of the tree looking down sees only smiles. But all too often, those at the bottom looking up see only asses.
Simon Sinek
#20. The resources of the Deity cannot be so meagre, that, in order to create a human being endowed with reason, he must change a monkey into a man.
Louis Agassiz
#21. Monkeys
What! His partner said.
Monkeys are funny, said Peabody.'So why didn't we we pick monkeys.
His partner sighed and shook his head with sad dismay.
Monkeys? Jesus.
Monkeys' idea of fun is throwing their shit at you. Monkeys always take the joke a step too far.
Toby Barlow
#22. Unlike some of the time-travel movies I love, like 'Primer' or '12 Monkeys,' 'Looper' is not about time travel. It's about this situation that time travel creates and the people dealing with that situation. So narratively, the big challenge was to have time travel get out of the way.
Rian Johnson
#23. I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.
Zach Braff
#24. If you look at the monkeys, you can learn many things about the men; if you look at the men, you can learn many things about the madness!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#25. Many people, meeting Aziraphale for the first time, formed three impressions: that he was English, that he was intelligent, and that he was gayer than a treeful of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
Terry Pratchett
#26. The despicable crone known as Mombi stands accused of high witchery, gross dishonesty, untold crimes against monkeys, outrageous trespassing, and general unpleasantness. Also, she is extremely unattractive. Miss Amy, do you speak for the witch?
Danielle Paige
#27. In a world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, but the monkey will spank us
Francesco Totti
#28. There is no need to upset about the fact that our ancestors were monkeys, because they are capable chaps! Don't be sad about the truth, just understand the truth!
Mehmet Murat Ildan
#29. In arguing that machines think, we are in the same fix as Darwin when he argued that man shares common ancestors with monkeys, or Galileo when he argued that the Earth spins on its axis.
Herbert A. Simon
#30. So what if man's body evolved from the monkeys? Whether he came from monkeys or fish is unimportant. The important idea is that when the body became "human" enough, the first human soul slipped into it.
Garth Stein
#31. A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost. She should go far. The sooner she starts, the better. The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of its behind.
Joseph Stilwell
#32. Best day of my life was January 9, 1997. I was eight years old and my mom and I went to the zoo on a class trip. I liked the bears. She liked the monkeys. Best day ever. End of story.
John Green
#33. No!" Leo yelled.
"Uhhh," Nico groaned from the floor.
"Piper!" Jason cried.
"Monkey!" Frank yelled.
"Not monkeys," Hazel grumbled. "I think those are dwarfs."
"Stealing my stuff!" Leo yelled, and ran for the stairs.
Rick Riordan
#34. Theory of Evolution (Summary)
First, there were some amoebas. Deviant amoebas adapted better to the environment, thus becoming monkeys. Then came Total Quality Management.
Scott Adams
#35. Perfect! Now we're being chased by hoards of monkeys! Perhaps you would care to name their species as we're attacked, just so I can appreciate the special traits of said monkey as it kills me!"
"At least when the monkeys are harassing you, you dont have any time to harass me!
Colleen Houck
#36. There are one hundred and ninety-three living species of monkeys and apes. One hundred and ninety-two of them are covered with hair. The exception is a naked ape self-named Homo sapiens. The zoologist now has to start making comparisons. Where else is nudity at a premium.
Desmond Morris
#37. With the tiger you're always on edge, and you always have to keep your distance. The monkey is far less threatening so you're more relaxed around the monkey, and I think that's actually hazardous.
Ed Helms
#38. We never change. Neither our socks nor our masters nor our opinions, or we're so slow about it that it's no use. We were born loyal and that's what killed us! Soldiers free of charge, heroes for everyone else, talking monkeys, tortured words, we are the minions of King Misery ... It's not a life.
Louis-Ferdinand Celine
#39. Mother Nature is always speaking. She speaks in a language understood within the peaceful mind of the sincere observer. Leopards, cobras, monkeys, rivers and trees; they all served as my teachers when I lived as a wanderer in the Himalayan foothills.
Radhanath Swami
#40. I rather wonder what I am doing here. I enjoy city life, you know. The glittering lights, the constant companionship, the liquid entertainment. The lack of sudden monkeys.
Cassandra Clare
#41. He was enchanted by the architecture of the city. Merry amoretti wove garlands above windows. Roguish fauns and naked nymphs peeked down at Billy from festooned cornices. Stone monkeys frisked among scrolls and seashells and bamboo.
Kurt Vonnegut
#42. Whether he came from monkeys or fish is unimportant. The important idea is that when the body became "human" enough, the first human soul slipped into it. I
Garth Stein
#43. Civilization today reminds me of an ape with a blowtorch playing in a room full of dynamite. It looks like the monkeys are about to operate the zoo, and the inmates are taking over the asylum.
Vance Havner
#44. Somebody must take a chance. There are monkeys who became men, and the monkeys who didn't are still jumping around in trees making faces at the monkeys who did.
Lincoln Steffens
#45. "Face the brutes." That is a lesson for all life-face the terrible, face it boldly. Like the monkeys, the hardships of life fall back when we cease to flee before them.
Swami Vivekananda
#46. The puma is, with the exception of some monkeys, the most playful animal in existence.
William Henry Hudson
#47. We find ourselves more taken with the running up and down, the games, and puerile simplicities of our children, than we do, afterward, with their most complete actions; as if we had loved them for our sport, like monkeys, and not as men.
Michel De Montaigne
#48. You know, if you have a zoo you don't want the other creatures to see you. You want them to hang out and act properly and, you know, when the monkeys will come and ask for the bananas, they won't act like monkeys. If you want them to act on what their true nature is, you've got to leave them alone.
Tarsem Singh
#49. I am sorry. It is hard to convey five-dimensional ideas in a language evolved to scream defiance at the monkeys in the next tree
Terry Pratchett
#50. Nature exists for man no more than she does for monkeys, and is as regardless of his life or pleasure or success as she is of the fleas. Her waves will drown him, her fire burn him, and her earth devour him, her storms and lightning smite him, as if he were only a dog.
John Burroughs
#51. It will not be a surprise to you to learn I'm more interested in the future of the Arctic Circle than the future of the Arctic Monkeys.
Gordon Brown
#52. Sex makes monkeys out of all of us. If you don't give in to it, you wind up a cold, unfeeling bastard. If you do, you spend the rest of your life picking up the pieces ...
Rita Mae Brown
#53. I bet it breaks your heart to have two of your friends pine for me the way they do," he said proudly. "Luna ... and now Scarlet. They can't keep their hands off of me."
"It's just because you are foreign to them. It's like if they went to the zoo and stared at the monkeys. You are the monkey.
Ellen Schreiber
#54. She thinks most people fail to reason at all. The way she describes the world today, most people are monkeys who happen to wear clothes. On occasion.
Sylvain Reynard
#55. It is no loss to mankind when one writer decides to call it a day. When a
tree falls in the forest, who cares but the monkeys?
Richard Ford
#56. She casts her eyes to the floor and nods slowly. I reach forward, instinctively and tip her chin up to face me. "I'm sure she's very pretty." I tell her.
Inside, I'm not sure of any such thing. In my mind, the woman flies around on a broom, has pet monkeys and is deathly afraid of water.
Lori L. Clark
#58. A century ago, people laughed at the notion that we were descended from monkeys. Today, the individuals most offended by that claim are the monkeys.
Jacob M. Appel
#59. If you ask me who the members of the Rolling Stones or Led Zep or the Clash were, I'd be able to tell you every member. But I couldn't name a single member of Arctic Monkeys.
Dave Gahan
#60. Female monkeys, unaware that they are slaves to cultural stereotypes, like things with faces. Male monkeys, unaware that they are doing the bidding of human sexists, like things with moving parts.
Matt Ridley
#61. We all go through life as puzzled monkeys. The minute we think we're any more than that, we've made a grave mistake. We're just trying to gain some meaning of it all, some understanding. The only thing we can do is buy the ticket, take the ride. And offer our barbaric yawps to the world...
Nate Jordon
#62. God cursed those who are the sons of Israel, through David and Jesus, the son of Mary. Those people, God made monkeys and pigs.
Sami Al-Arian
#63. It's your call, but just because you got three monkeys off your back doesn't mean the simians have left the island.
Charles Locks
#64. I love the Arctic Monkeys . Who doesn't? I'd love to see them live, but haven't got round to it yet. I never get to see bands because I'm never in the same town for more than two seconds.
Jack White
#65. An infinite number of monkeys have said an infinite number of things about the Hugos this year. People on all sides have said intelligent and insightful things, and people on all sides have said asinine things. The amount of words spent on this makes the Wheel of Time saga look like flash fiction.
Jim C. Hines
#66. The fact that ACPI was designed by a group of monkeys high on LSD, and is some of the worst designs in the industry obviously makes running it at any point pretty damn ugly.
Linus Torvalds
#67. If you give people peanuts, you get monkeys. So if you want good people that are highly qualified, make the amount of money available for them to go out and do the job.
Lindsay Fox
#68. I swear," Hal said, "this place is like the Bermuda Triangle. It's friggin' spooky. I went out to feed the monkeys last night, and I saw the Easter Bunny walking down the road with Sasquatch. And now there are rockets shooting into the sky from nowhere.
Janet Evanovich
#69. Let's face it, the average computer user has the brain of a Spider Monkey.
Bill Gates
#70. We are creatures of information and the imagination. The monkey we are already beginning to transform and shed. We don't look like the other monkeys, and we look less like them all the time.
Terence McKenna
#71. I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"
Robin Williams
#72. If Sun were to hand the management of Java over to a committee of monkeys, would it be more successful?
Eric Sink
#73. 'Jane's World' has pushed the boundaries for mainstream comic strips: girls have kissed, punched each other, have been abducted by aliens, taken steamy showers together and turned into monkeys. Jane has been through a lot and I love her for it.
Paige Braddock
#74. North Korea is the country that the monkeys in the Wizard of Oz came from.
Lewis Black
#75. Lex's jaw dropped. She started to object, but the look Zara shot her could have silenced a pack of screech monkeys.
Gina Damico
#76. For God's sake, let us be men
not monkeys minding machines
or sitting with our tails curled
while the machine amuses us, the radio or film or gramophone.
Monkeys with a bland grin on our faces.
D.H. Lawrence
#77. I'll direct any movie starring a monkey or the Olsen Twins. Preferably both.
Eli Roth
#78. The phrase 'I just turn on my monkey and it makes me feel good' sounds very dirty, but I can't explain why. It's great to try to use expressions like that on the comics page. People want to complain but they can't, because they can't figure out quite what they should be complaining about.
Stephan Pastis
#79. I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's.
Mark Twain
#80. The monkeys seized all the cocoanuts within their reach and sent them down upon us
Johann David Wyss
#81. As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney.
Tad Williams
#82. You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your nightdress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness ...
... Remeber when the boys were all electric?
Arctic Monkeys
#84. People are like, 'Oh, you can't take humans out of the loop, I'm a human and I'm an awesome driver.' And I'm like, no, man, you're not an awesome driver. You're a monkey, and monkeys suck at making decisions.
Tim Cannon
#85. Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.
Tracy Morgan
#86. Strong suit, even when he had two sound legs. But it's all right, he's moving, the monkeys are holding their positions. He's just five yards from the beach when he senses them. His eyes only dart up for a second, but it's as if he's triggered a bomb. The monkeys explode into
Suzanne Collins
#87. You know, that stuff about pink elephants, that's the bunk. It's little animals. Little tiny turkeys in straw hats. Midget monkeys coming through the keyholes.
Billy Wilder
#89. A lot of my dreams have to do with animals I think because I'm such a huge animal lover. I have so many pets. I always have crazy dreams where I'm like riding an elephant through the jungle or hanging out with a bunch of monkeys.
Paris Hilton
#90. There's a statistical theory that if you gave a million monkeys typewriters and set them to work, they'd eventually come up with the complete works of Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we now know this isn't true.
Ian Hart
#91. Soon the maroon-throated howls would echo back from the other trees, father down the beach, until the whole jungle filled with roaring trees. As it was in the beginning, so it is every morning of the world.
Barbara Kingsolver
#92. Monkeys offer an unadulterated demonstration of the power of hormones, as the females are not concerned about pregnancy or what their friends will think.
Mary Roach
#93. I think probably the scariest thing, as weird as it sounds, was 'The Wizard of Oz' and the flying monkeys with the witch. I remember seeing that - it still seems freaky.
Rob Zombie
#94. When I pointed out this fallacy in her thought process, however, all she said was, "Just do it," only not the way they say it in Nike ads. She said it the way the Wicked Witch of the West said it to the winged monkeys when she sent them out to kill Dorothy and her little dog, too.
Jenny Carroll
#96. In Mozambique, the story goes, monkeys do not talk, because they know if they utter even a single word some man will come and put them to work.
Carl Sagan
#97. My mother went to a school called 'The Club of the Three Wise Monkeys'. And my grandmother, my father's mother, had a gold charm for her made with the speak no, see no, hear no evil monkeys. And I was fascinated by that charm. I'd sit in my mother's lap and play with it all the time.
Mackenzie Phillips
#98. Nick and I, we sometimes laugh, laugh out loud, at the horrible things women make their husbands do to prove their love. The pointless tasks, the myriad sacrifices, the endless small surrenders. We call these men the dancing monkeys.
Gillian Flynn
#99. Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, 'The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind'.
Donald Rumsfeld
#100. Scientists have reported that elephants grieve their dead, monkeys perceive injustice and cockatoos like to dance to the music of the Backstreet Boys.
Hal Herzog
