Fred Reed Quotes

#1. Congress, 535 commoditized temple monkeys pawing through the ruins of America in search of bribes. The bicameral whorehouse on Capitol Hill works like a vending machine. You put coins in the slot, select your law, and the desired legislation slides out.

Fred Reed

#2. Voting in particular is an embarrassment, being a public display of weak character and low intelligence. Let us face the truth: Democracy, like spitting in public or the Roman games, is the proper activity of the lower intellectual and moral classes. It amounts to collusion in one's own suckering.

Fred Reed

#3. When someone tells me that 'the Almighty told me to do this', I want to see the transcript.

Fred Reed

#4. Though the Floundering Fathers didn't intend it, we now see that representative government quickly turns into the dictatorship of the proletariat. If you doubt this, I congratulate you on not having a television.

Fred Reed

#5. Kids esteem themselves when they have accomplished something worth esteeming.

Fred Reed

#6. Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.

Fred Reed

#7. In fact, the gravest obstacle to the restoration of civilization in North America is universal suffrage. Letting everybody vote makes no sense. Obviously they are no good at it. The whole idea smacks of the fumble-witted idealism of a high-school Marxist society.

Fred Reed

#8. A burro is an ass. A burrow is a hole in the ground. A reporter should know the difference.

Fred Reed

#9. Wars are the hobbies of half-informed children who have somehow come into possession of the levers of power.

Fred Reed

#10. The proper response toward what we occasionally imagine to be democracy, methinks, is to retain one's self-respect by not participating in it.

Fred Reed

#11. I don't think you lose anything by hallucinating. It's cheaper than airfare, the destinations more interesting, and I'd rather have a mutant squid on my window than the State Department trying to do foreign affairs.

Fred Reed

#12. Evolution writ large is the belief that a cloud of hydrogen will spontaneously invent extreme-ultraviolet lithography, perform Swan Lake, and write all the books in the British Museum.

Fred Reed

#13. Those who wash regularly should not stoop to democracy.

Fred Reed

#14. I may think that hornets do not have an ideal social organization. But I know better than to poke their nest.

Fred Reed