Top 100 Screwed Quotes
#1. I think that if someone plays a video game, and then goes out and harms another human being, or themselves because of what they just saw in the video game, they were screwed up in the head long before they got their hands on a controller.
Tim Buckley
#2. What the hell? We're all screwed up some way. At least you bathe and I don't have to fight you for chicks. In my book, that makes you all right.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#3. As he was gasping for air he realized something. He was in deep shit. Haley was his life now. His woman. His heart.
He was so screwed.
R.L. Mathewson
#4. Everything I had read in the fields of fiction and science led me to a single, dark conclusion. Humans are screwed, and so is our planet.
Annalee Newitz
#5. I was unsettled at the thought of going the entire weekend without him. Worse, I hated the thought of him spending that amount of time away from me. He had a world of choices and possibilities out there, women who weren't so screwed up and difficult to be with.
Sylvia Day
#6. They're trying to say that greater federal authority would have made a difference, ... The reality is that the feds are the ones that screwed up in the first place. It's not about authority. It's about leadership ... They've got all the authority already.
George Haddow
#7. Stephen Hawking is getting a divorce. That's scary. If the smartest guy in the world can't figure out women, we're screwed.
Jay Leno
#8. As far as your personal goals are and what you actually want to do with your life, it should never have to do with the government. You should never depend on the government for your retirement, your financial security, for anything. If you do, you're screwed.
Drew Carey
#9. When a guy's getting screwed he's got a right to holler. And we've been damn well screwed.
Ken Kesey
#10. We have to laugh at how hard life can be and how screwed up we can be at times ... It's a really freeing process when you're not hitting the jokes too hard.
Brett Gelman
#11. I don't think people are going to come down to Texas and see every person riding in a candy car or every person sipping syrup. But, for the most part, people got a lot of the stuff right, talking about the screwed music scene.
Chamillionaire
#12. To possess one single thing (it is Louis now) must waver, like the light in and out of the beech leaves; and then words, moving darkly, in the depths of your mind will break up this knot of hardness, screwed in your pocket-handkerchief.
Virginia Woolf
#13. In the new style, homosexuals and heterosexuals could be equally unhappy, equally happy, and equally screwed up.
Christopher Bram
#14. For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.
Jim Bouton
#15. I'm a Cancer, which means I'm maternal and emotional. So in relationships I'm screwed.
Lindsay Lohan
#16. I'm a sucker for a screwed-up protagonist. We all have issues.
Chelsea Cain
#17. I went in with Jack and Leslie, into this room that was lined with brick, and there on the side I can remember very clearly was this small model with plates for the bases - the original model with everything screwed together.
Sydney Brenner
#18. I screwed the pooch with Kate - okay, you're right, where I pretty much fucked the whole kennel
Emma Chase
#19. By the way, you guys seriously screwed up just now. (Nero)
We know. (They said in unison.)
Yeah, well, what you don't know is how grateful your girl is to you. I just thought you should know that you guys are a hero to her ... and she thinks we're all idiots. (Nero)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#20. You know you're screwed when a Western doctor recommends acupuncture.
Heidi Julavits
#21. I think we're seriously screwed when the men with guns decided to help the bad guys.
Rick Yancey
#22. A person should not be too honest. Straight trees are cut first and honest people are screwed first.
Chanakya
#23. When in doubt, write it out. If that doesn't work, you're screwed.
Moniqua Sexton
#24. I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
Joan Rivers
#25. I see girls who haven't had a carbohydrate in three years. The second you go back to eating right, you're going to put that weight on. You eat one piece of bread and you are screwed, lady!
Ginnifer Goodwin
#26. I guess we all have a bad night now and then and really screw up. I listened to our earlier stuff and we screwed up a lot. But at least now that we are sober, when we screw up it's for real.
Joe Perry
#27. The shorter the time, the cooler you have got to be. If you've got only one shot, you've got to make it count. You can't afford to miss because you screwed up the planning.
Lee Child
#28. We put these things through their paces." He tensed suddenly. "Have you been using these the whole time we've been apart?" I knew what he was asking. "Only when I was by myself." I'd kept the sheets faithful to Tristan. Bully for me. We were so freaking screwed up. So freaking screwed.
R.K. Lilley
#29. But what about all those dead people we saw? Maybe they rescued us for real, got killed, and now we're screwed. Maybe we were supposed to do something, but now it's all been messed up and we've been left here to die.
James Dashner
#31. Your past doesn't define you. Only your present and your future. If your life is screwed up, stop making excuses. What are you going to do about it today?
Ingrid Weir
#33. You're both so screwed up alone that together you're like the perfect mess.
J. Sterling
#34. I've always been unhappy with my teeth. I've lost most of them from my bottom jaw, and those in the upper jaw have been screwed in or capped. As a result, I've got great hollows under my cheeks, and my bone structure seems accentuated.
Kate O'Mara
#35. No matter how screwed up life is today, today is just a collection of moments that stop and start where you want them to. And nothing upsetting matters when you know tomorrow's gonna be better than yesterday
Robyn Schneider
#36. She's way too old to be acting a fool because she has a screwed-up mommy." "Please. Just please with the blame-my-mommy-'cause-I'm-a-bitch crap,
P.C. Cast
#37. Truth I have no trouble with, it's the facts I get all screwed up.
Farley Mowat
#38. I am regularly asked what the average Internet user can do to ensure his security. My first answer is usually 'Nothing; you're screwed'.
Bruce Schneier
#39. In Los Angeles all the loose objects in the country were collected, as if America had been tilted and everything that wasn't tightly screwed down had slid into Southern California.
Saul Bellow
#40. If I start outsourcing all my navigation to a little talking box in my car, I'm sort of screwed. I'm going to lose my car in the parking lot every single time.
Ken Jennings
#41. Who would name their kid Jack with the last words 'off' at the end of the last name? No wonder that guy is screwed up.
George Clooney
#42. There's no winning for us. We're screwed. We were born into a system we don't agree with, and we got caught. Here, out there, it doesn't matter. There's nothing left for us.
Richelle Mead
#43. People who go into show business are screwed up.
Craig Kilborn
#44. No, I don't think 'The Wire' screwed up my career at all.
Dominic West
#45. That's his superpower. Invasion. The Invader and the Infiltrator. They pretty much have the same meaning, so I guess we make one screwed-up team.
Colleen Hoover
#46. If Castle Dracula screwed a hospital, this would be the bastard offspring.
Larissa Ione
#47. So long as there is gold underneath, who cares about the dust on top? Literature! That old whore! We must try to dose her with mercury and pills and clean her out from top to bottom, she has been so ultra-screwed by filthy pricks!
Gustave Flaubert
#48. One thing about prejudices
once you break one of them, you're screwed, because then they all have got to go.
Cher
#49. Families are the deepest, most screwed up relationships that we have.
Antony Starr
#50. What I could relate to was the common fear that you are secretly so uniquely screwed-up that there is no way anyone would like you if they really knew you.
Tim Kreider
#51. Oh, what am I going to do with this life I have been given." I said to myself as I sat and thought about life, and how screwed up mine really was. I was brought back into reality by Colin's answer.
Nicole Eglinger
#52. The establishment can accept being screwed, but not being laughed at
Saul Alinsky
#54. I just think that I screwed up what could have turned into a more significant relationship, or at least a lasting friendship.
Emily Giffin
#55. I'm a bad case of arrested development, stuck in early adolescence, more screwed-up-twisted-up-tangled-up than a couple earthworms makin' babies.
Dean Koontz
#56. There is not much mental distance between a feeling of having been screwed and the ethic of total retaliation, or at least the kind of random revenge that comes with outraging the public decency.
Hunter S. Thompson
#57. I'm aggressive, quite frankly, because Staten Island gets screwed all the time. And if I'm not aggressive, then I won't be successful. That's not being a bad boy. That's doing my job.
Michael Grimm
#58. This is what I do to keep my head screwed on semi-straight and keep my heart open. Whenever I sing, that's why I sing. Whether it's at the Grammys, whether it's in the bathroom, whether it's in front of 10,000 people or three people, by my guru's grace, my head stays in that place.
Krishna Das
#59. I wish we did have responsibility for the hair. I have been screwed up by the hair on many occasions.
Julie Harris
#60. Fate has a way of letting us know when we have screwed up by turning everything into an uphill battle.
Ronnie Schiller
#61. There's something in there," Matt said. "Something alive. It punched me."
"Punched you?" Baldwin's face screwed up. "Are you sure a bat didn't fly into you? I bet there are a few in there."
Matt rubbed his tender jaw. "Unless its name is Bruce Wayne, that wasn't a bat.
K.L. Armstrong
#62. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you're screwed because it's all fixed and rigged. There is a club and you ain't in it.
George Carlin
#63. Character is an essential tendency. It can be covered up, it can be messed with, it can be screwed around with, but it can't be ultimately changed. It's the structure of our bones, the blood that runs through our veins.
Sam Shepard
#64. I'm screwed up, mixed up, messed around, dive-bombing, crashing and burning.
Jaclyn Moriarty
#65. In the early 2000s, I was going through a lot. I didn't have my head screwed on right. Where I was at as a man, I was still growing up.
Raekwon
#66. If you keep your head screwed on right in so doing, then your experience thus gained is most valuable in enabling you to gauge human beings and their ways.
(Advice in letter from 8th Duke of Rutland, to his son later the 9th Duke.
Catherine Bailey
#67. I'm serious, Mar, I don't know how to act around him now. I can't be nice, because he'll hate that. But I can't be mean just to be nice."
"You really need medication."
"I'm in a quandary. A Catch-22. I'm screwed.
Kristin Walker
#68. Medical costs are soaring because our health-care system is totally screwed up. Doctors and hospitals have every incentive to spend on unnecessary tests, drugs, and procedures.
Robert Reich
#69. You know your life is completely screwed up when you have to look up the mythological figures who talk to you in the bathroom mirror.
Maurissa Guibord
#70. You have blundered into an adult existence you don't understand, and you can't tell whether you planned it this way or whether you screwed up big-time, though it's too late either way.
Rob Sheffield
#71. We're all flawed, but basically, effective managers are people whose flaws are not fatal under the circumstances. Maybe the best managers are simply ordinary, healthy people who aren't too screwed up.
Henry Mintzberg
#72. You know a shooter when you see it. At least the creative people do. If a picture isn't obvious in the first draft you're kind of screwed.
William Monahan
#74. Were really screwed up, aren't we?"
"In a very large way.
Janet Evanovich
#75. Those handsome ones, their heads just ain't screwed on right sometimes. They think the world revolves around them and them alone.
Christine Bush
#76. You have to find out who you are aside from what the media say you are. If you've become reliant on them for kind of a sense of self, then you're really screwed.
Daniel Radcliffe
#77. Yes, everything's just fine.
It's all perfectly fine.
Except for one thing: it's all screwed up.
Fernando Pessoa
#78. Ellie screwed a plaque into the back of one of the chairs: "His Royal Ass Was Here." Beside it, Marty scratched into the wood: "And it was fiiine." I
Emma Chase
#79. As soon as you start to talk about your own mannerisms, you are screwed. Because if you are aware of your own mannerisms, or beyond that even what makes any one thing funny to people, I really ascribe to that that if you start deconstructing it too much, it is immediately not funny.
Steve Carell
#80. Listen cousin, the way things are supposed to work out, one day the struggles of all you screwed up little underdogs will forge a permanent rainbow that'll encircle this entire earth, I should live so long.
John Nichols
#81. Something got screwed up in terms of your priorities if you think it's more important to get rid of the dividend tax than it is to take care of 11 million kids.
David Broder
#82. I believe all Americans need to start taking more responsibility for the kind of extreme rhetoric that is permeating our political culture; otherwise, quite frankly, as a country we're screwed.
Meghan McCain
#83. More has been screwed up on the battlefield and misunderstood in the Pentagon because of a lack of understanding of the English language than any other single factor.
John W. Vessey Jr.
#85. I plant a gentle parting kiss on his lips, our strategy is well and truly screwed at this stage anyway. We barely lasted a day.
Siobhan Davis
#86. Expect nothing from People with cheap thoughts. Because, You will end up screwed!
Mohith Agadi
#87. The fact is it didn't happen in the first month, the first six weeks, in a way that was at all acceptable. And since I'm in charge, obviously, we screwed it up.
Barack Obama
#88. When I tried to play something and screwed up, I'd hear some other note that would come into play. Then I started trying different things to find the beauty in it.
Dimebag Darrell
#89. If everyone does as I've instructed, then things should work out the way they're meant to. (Acheron)
And if we don't? (Talon)
We're all screwed. (Acheron)
Gee, Ash, you're just so damn comforting. (Nick)
I try to be anyway. (Acheron)
You fail admirably. (Nick)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#90. Cole Walker. Cole freaking Walker. All grown-up. And he was my new manager. I was so screwed.
Samantha Young
#91. everybody around here's such a major conservative till they get sick, get screwed over by their insurance company, their job goes over to China or whatever, then they're like, 'Oooooh, what happened?
Ben Fountain
#92. Why?" Eve asked between breathless pants. she wasn't much of a runner either.
"Someone's coming" Shane said. "Shhhh."
Eve choked and strangled on a cough, and muttered "got to cut down on the cigarettes."
"you don't smoke," Claire whispered.
"then i'm completely screwed.
Rachel Caine
#93. The world is totally screwed. I may have saved it, but nobody is going to thank me or reward me for that. I thought I'd feel some sense of satisfaction that I'd done the right thing. But I don't really. Being a hero is pretty damn stupid.
Charlie Human
#94. In my experience, what defines a crime depends on who's getting screwed.
Mark Frost
#95. Lucia opened the door. "They say not to discuss politics and religion on the first date."
"Well, then." I gave her a huge smile. "We're screwed.
Jennifer Lane
#96. I personally believe a crucial ingredient in rehabilitation is to admit that you completely screwed up.
Jonathan Aitken
#97. I couldn't help noticing how all the best Marxist analyses are always analyses of a failure ... Like, why did Paris Commune go wrong? Trotskyites. Why did the October Revolution go wrong? And so on ... OK, we screwed it up, but we can give the best theory why it had to happen.
Slavoj Zizek
#98. There are so few true villains, just other screwed-up people who pass the damage on.
Laurell K. Hamilton
#99. Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury.
Rodney Dangerfield
#100. Imagining you are going to die is all part of that third brain ... the neo-cortex. That's where the Landlord really screwed up.
Richard Finney
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