Top 100 Warren Ellis Quotes
#1. constitute a horror story wherein the villains of the piece stole power from a stable governance system in order to cast the population of the world into an ongoing lab experiment with no plan or boundary. A dismal science.
Warren Ellis
#2. He is defining the immediate future as follows: old people huddling in big cities, afraid of the sky.
Warren Ellis
#3. What if I left my memory in the future and I have to catch up to it?
Warren Ellis
#4. Think about it; the quicktank is given a job most of us would laugh out of town. Build a sophisticated camera capable of full 3-D input and peripheral pickup, using only water and jelly.
Build an eye.
Warren Ellis
#5. Fuck you . . . you fucking body-dysmorphia porn-addict trust-fund-baby compulsive-masturbation motherfucker.
Warren Ellis
#6. I was having a mildly paranoid day, mostly due to the fact that the mad priest lady from over the river had taken to nailing weasels to my front door again.
Warren Ellis
#7. Prediction is the best circus act of all. But it is just an act. It's a carny turn. Stop doing it.
Warren Ellis
#8. Why do I even have to say this? Why do I have to say "Get off the unique and probably alien living plinth that zaps the unwary?" What is wrong with my life that I have to say these things out loud ... ?
Warren Ellis
#9. Ballardian banality comes from not getting the future that we were promised, or getting it too late to make the promised difference.
Warren Ellis
#10. Welcome to JG Ballard's future, fast becoming a consensus of its own, wherein the future is intrinsically banal. It is, essentially, the sensible position to take right now.
Warren Ellis
#11. She's really married?" Tallow said to Bat.
"Yeah. Talia's like this Scandinavian Amazon who can break rocks with her boobs. She could fit Scarly in her armpit. Sometimes I think she likes Scarly just because she was the most portable lesbian available.
Warren Ellis
#12. We may have been crazed, strange and entirely too eager to find new things to have sex with - but we went out to preserve great chunks of this planet's cultures and we damned well did it with some style
Warren Ellis
#13. Every law that curbs my basic human freedom; every lie about the things I care for; every crime committed against me by their politics; that what's makes me get up and hound these fuckers, and I'll do that until the day I die ... or until my brain dries up or something.
Warren Ellis
#14. I was originally going to train as a journalist, passing a series of exams that winnowed ten thousand applicants down to one hundred places on a National Union of Journalists course.
Warren Ellis
#15. Some asshole scraped the 'I' out of INVESTIGATOR with their keys six months ago. I simply can't be bothered to fix that one. For all the work I get, I may as well be an 'invest gator
Warren Ellis
#16. People. You're not crazy if there really are robot insects listening to every word you say."
Someone said, "I fucking told you
Warren Ellis
#17. The things I have sold to film, I've sold because I was happy to rent out the right to adapt those works. Some things, I haven't sold to film, because I was less interested in having no control over the adaptation.
Warren Ellis
#18. I'm sorry. Is that too harsh an observation for you? Does that sound too much like the Truth? Fuck you. If anyone in this shithole city gave two tugs of a dead dog's cock about Truth, this wouldn't be happening.
Warren Ellis
#19. - You know what this is?
- Nope
- It's a bowel disruptor. And you are just full of shit.
Warren Ellis
#20. My neck and shoulders are killing me. Hard to focus on writing about murder, doom, shagging, our hopeless future & other comedy etc etc.
Warren Ellis
#22. There ain't enough happens in soccer. It's like watching twenty-two hair models kick a ball around for what seems like six months and then one of them falls over and the ball goes in the goal.
Warren Ellis
#23. Comics is still my first love. But I always did other kinds of writing, too, so I think of myself as a writer first.
Warren Ellis
#24. I try not to get involved in the business of prediction. It's a quick way to look like an idiot.
Warren Ellis
#25. Time was this place didn't make sense and I could live with it. Either it's changed, or I have.
Warren Ellis
#26. Learning to write comics is, in fact, so bloody difficult because it's such a weird form that it does actually make you a bit more adaptable for other forms.
Warren Ellis
#27. That was a stupid idea I made up while drunk. Why did someone build that?
Warren Ellis
#28. Be authentic to your dreams. Be authentic to your own idea about yourself. Grind away at your own minds and bodies until you become your own invention. Be Mad Scientists.
Warren Ellis
#29. The elevator doors opened to reveal a very large man brandishing a bloodstained antique phone receiver in a plastic bag and proclaiming, "I found this up him!"
"You know," said Tallow, "I really have no response to that.
Warren Ellis
#30. Writer's block? I've heard of this. This is when a writer cannot write, yes? Then that person isn't a writer anymore. I'm sorry, but the job is getting up in the fucking morning and writing for a living.
Warren Ellis
#31. On the evidence I have on hand at home, social media isn't killing our children. It isn't killing families, either, because the constant long bloody phone calls that parents complained to their teenagers about in decades past are gone.
Warren Ellis
#32. Half the time he seems autistic, the rest of the time he's like a lizard jacked full of lithium and speed. These things do not promote love in most of us.
Warren Ellis
#33. You're miserable, edgy and tired. You're in the perfect mood for journalism.
Warren Ellis
#34. There was so much silence. The quiet felt like a huge new country that he could wander around inside for years without ever meeting its coastlines. A silence the size of the sky.
Warren Ellis
#35. This is the mainstream now, Mike. This is how life in America is. Moment by moment, our country has grown sicker. Our borders, Mike, have come to encompass the nine circles of Hell.
Warren Ellis
#36. Tradition:' one of those words conservative people use as a shortcut to thinking.
Warren Ellis
#37. But I am not a monster because I kill. Killing is easy. I am a monster because I accept the hard choices. (Frank Moses)
Warren Ellis
#38. Listen to the Chair Leg of Truth! It does not lie!
Warren Ellis
#39. The absolute best thing anyone can do is grab desperately at the throttle. But they don't. Because it's a speeding death kaleidoscope made out of tits. Adam
Warren Ellis
#40. I want something that'll give me the stamina of a young werewolf, the vision of a shaman, the thoughts of a serial killer and the gentleness of a hungry vampire bat.
Warren Ellis
#41. For me, the Internet's like music. I don't like working without it. I will tune it out for hours at a time, as I get lost in the work, but I'd know if it wasn't there. If that makes sense.
Warren Ellis
#42. And someone, somewhere, is saying What the fuck? Why not?
Warren Ellis
#43. Stephen King says that if you forget an idea, then it can't have been any good. He means he, not you. You are not Stephen King. Do not attempt to emulate Stephen King at home.
Warren Ellis
#44. It's a strange world. Let's keep it that way.
Warren Ellis
#47. Okay," I said. "Let's do something really goddamn stupid.
Warren Ellis
#48. Of course I don't care if you're bleeding! I'm fucking autistic!
Warren Ellis
#49. There are many good reasons for drinking, and one's just entered my head: If you don't drink when you're living, how the fuck can you drink when you're dead?
Warren Ellis
#50. You don't learn journalism in school, you learn it by WRITING FUCKING JOURNALISM. You teach yourself to wire up your own brain and gut and reproductive organs into one frightening machine that you aim at the planet like a meat gun.
Warren Ellis
#51. Writing is basically a job for people who like punching themselves in the face, I'm pretty sure.
Warren Ellis
#52. Come on," said the Director. "You are all completely mad people who mess around with technology and weird social theory for fun until your brains shit themselves and you fall over. Any of you could have done this.
Warren Ellis
#53. A Kenyan man once said to me, 'You can get used to anything when money's involved.' He used to stick mice up his ass for twenty bucks at a time. -Spider Jerusalem
Warren Ellis
#54. Read comics. All comics. And then cut them open to steal their power.
Warren Ellis
#55. Wolves ate even mighty hunters, for there was no honor or code among predators, and everyone's guts steam the same way when torn open on a cold night.
Warren Ellis
#56. By four o'clock, I've discounted suicide in favor of killing everyone else in the entire world instead.
Warren Ellis
#57. TRUTH comes easier when you're nine years old, too. Everything's a lot less complicated. This or that. Us or them. Truth or lie.
Warren Ellis
#58. Do you want to eat Peyotl and human flesh on the path to spiritual enlightenment? Or just for the hell of it? Join the ancient cult of Anasazi.
Warren Ellis
#59. That means that the universe is two-dimensional. Matter, energy, time, you, me and the floor are holograms.
Warren Ellis
#60. I want a tattoo over my heart that reads TRY HARDER YOU LAZY PARAMEDIC SHITBAG OR I WILL HAUNT YOUR BEDROOM FOREVER
Warren Ellis
#61. If contemporary literary fiction doesn't read a bit like science fiction then it's probably not all that contemporary, is it
Warren Ellis
#62. In his other hand is a spear made from duct tape, a smashed Nokia phone from 1998 and a selfie stick. Welcome to the future.
Warren Ellis
#63. Bloody Wolf Blitzer intoning that a weather bomb is going to detonate over America because the planet hates humans and time is a flat circle.
Warren Ellis
#64. The single simplest reason why human space flight is necessary is this, stated as plainly as possible: keeping all your breeding pairs in one place is a retarded way to run a species.
Warren Ellis
#65. I am a messiah. Ask anyone on the Internet.
Warren Ellis
#66. There was a time when I liked a good riot. Put on some heavy old street clothes that could stand a bit of sidewalk-scraping, infect myself with something good and contagious, then go out and stamp on some cops. It was great, being nine years old.
Warren Ellis
#67. Los Angeles had no culture of its own, just a large collection of misreadings of the artistic histories of other, proper cities.
Warren Ellis
#68. Science fiction is always about the time it's written in. 1984 was always about 1948. Science fiction is social fiction. I
Warren Ellis
#69. Detective John Tallow, 1st Precinct."
"You," said Scarly. "I hate you so much my dick is hard.
Warren Ellis
#70. These things are going to look primitive to you, but you have to remember that we're not stupid. We have the same intelligence as you. We simply don't have the same cumulative knowledge you do. So we apply our intelligence to what we have.
Warren Ellis
#71. Be exposed. Be open. Be who you want to be. It will never hurt as much as starving your own humanity of oxygen.
Warren Ellis
#72. Don't live with writers. Writers are bastards.
Warren Ellis
#73. Elijah Snow: 'Who have you pissed off this time, John?'
John Stone: 'Sumatran robot death sluts
Dammit, ONE of these buttons fires the atomic death biter
Warren Ellis
#74. I think one of the bigger lessons the Internet has taught us is that 'niche' or 'subculture' are a lot bigger than anyone ever thought.
Warren Ellis
#75. What? I bring joy to the world. I am filled with mirth and sunlight. Also, I am Batman.
Warren Ellis
#77. The two most dangerous things in the world are rich people and crazy people. The Roanokes are rich like pharoahs and crazier'n a snake-fucking baby.
Warren Ellis
#78. Mister Sun wondered if he really believed it was true that the heart is just a pump.
Warren Ellis
#79. I want vasopressin, washed caffeine, Jumpstart, ginkgo biloba, guarana, and any intelligence enhancer introduced in the last five years.
Warren Ellis
#80. I partnered you with Jim all those years ago because you were complimentary kinds of crazy. You kept each other in check. I need you to not crawl back inside your own skull and watch the world with binoculars from deep cover.
Warren Ellis
#81. Cheap! But not as cheap as your girlfriend.
Warren Ellis
#82. IT TOOK a conscious effort for Tallow to keep his hand off his gun as he walked up the apartment building's stairs. There was no threat here. He told himself that with every step. But every step held memory.
Warren Ellis
#83. I think the New Aesthetic is a series of observations. I think most of the trouble people have had with it comes from a misunderstanding of it as a movement.
Warren Ellis
#84. To be a futurist, in pursuit of improving reality, is not to have your face continually turned upstream, waiting for the future to come. To improve reality is to clearly see where you are, and then wonder how to make that better.
Warren Ellis
#85. There are people out there so heavily specialized in wearable technology that they call shirts with networked devices built into them "wearable shirts." They're so deep into their own silo of futurism that they've forgotten how shirts work.
Warren Ellis
#86. Bukkake," said a voice in my ear. "Multiple ejaculations onto the face. It's the new thing." It was the tattooed girl, crouched behind my chair. "This is the only genuine and authentic Godzilla Bukkake night in America.
Warren Ellis
#87. Dance like you're stamping on a human face forever, love like you've been in a serious car crash that minced the front of your brain, stab like no one can arrest you, and live like there's no such thing as God.
Warren Ellis
#88. Benighted infants," Strauss laughed, gesturing at Goldmark to get the coffees. "I'd be amazed if anything in here grew on or near an animal. It's all that printed meat, diddled with by needles.
Warren Ellis
#89. The point is, the only real tools we have are our eyes and our heads. It's not the act of seeing with our eyes alone; it's correctly comprehending what we see. Treating life as an autopsy.
Warren Ellis
#90. You people don't know what the truth is! It's there, just under their bullshit, but you never look! That's what I hate most about this fucking city
LIES ARE NEWS AND TRUTH IS OBSOLETE!
Warren Ellis
#91. In league with the fantastic. That's a thought to keep hold of.
Warren Ellis
#92. Adam knew it was childish, but he rationalized it in this way: carelessly harming other people was a decent stand-in for baseline human interaction.
Warren Ellis
#93. Here's the thing about Apple technology: once you own a piece, you want to use it.
Warren Ellis
#94. I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug. It was a huge brown bastard; had a body like a turd with legs and beady black eyes full of secret rat knowledge.
Warren Ellis
#95. That's what you should be worrying about. Idiots with all the money, plowing it into building a thing just because they can.
Warren Ellis
#96. How are we supposed to live in the future when the future just abandons us to the night?
Warren Ellis
#97. Santa Monica's only walkable if death is no hurdle. The air's the wrong colour. People put sunglasses on their dogs. It's a hideous place where humans are not welcome and those who stay suffer eight kinds of brain damage.
Warren Ellis
#98. I can be collaborative, for instance, in situations where I go and study the artist's work before I start writing. Then I can at least try to write towards their style.
Warren Ellis
#100. Here in Britain, of course, it's Thank Fuck We Got Those Weird Jesus Bastards On The Boat Day
Warren Ellis
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