Top 37 Say Cheese Funny Quotes
#1. You know what they say, Two pairs a company, cheese a croud
Annoying Orange
#2. Dear Fly,
I love you. If you are a mouse I am cheese. If you are a cat I am a mouse. You are a fly, so I want to be shit.
Casey Scieszka
#3. I have a bad feeling about this," she said.
"We'll fake it. And if push comes to shove, we can just sing Goober Peas and waltz around."
"Rebecca might not find that very funny."
"Rebecca is a Northerner. You can tell because there aren't any cheese straws on the snack table.
Mary Jane Hathaway
#4. Whoever invented spray cheese had to have been a Harvard guy.
Seth MacFarlane
#5. Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!
Dylan Moran
#6. Swiss cheese is the only cheese you can draw and people can identify. You can draw American cheese, but someone will think it's cheddar. It's the only cheese you can bite and miss. "Hey Mitch - does that sandwich have cheese on it?" "Every now and then!"
Mitch Hedberg
#7. Mama operated under the assumption that I was eight years old and incapable of feeding myself. It was physically impossible for her to cross my threshold without some form of nourishment. She once offered me cheese and crackers from her while we were standing in my kitchen.
Molly Harper
#8. When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.
Zach Galifianakis
#9. I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End ... '
Tim Vine
#10. You're not eating the cheese, Frank says accusingly. And you're fucking my mom, I want to say back.
Lauren Barnholdt
#11. But he saw a rare determination in Haley's eyes. I can trust Haley's judgement, he told himself, even as he remembered how Haley had eaten that cheddar with the mold growing on it two weeks before.
Cheese and people are not the same.
Kit Alloway
#12. I'm as poor as a church mouse, that's just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.
Rowan Atkinson
#13. I pondered what else I should take for him. Flowers seemed wrong; they're a love token, after all. I looked in the fridge, and popped a packet of cheese slices into the bag. All men like cheese.
Gail Honeyman
#14. If cheese was a woman, I'd marry her. I'd come home and eat her every night.
Solange Nicole
#15. I had a box of Ritz crackers, and on the back of the box, they had all these suggestions for what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with cheese. Try it with peanut butter. Come on, man, they're crackers, that's why I got them. I like crackers! I didn't buy them because they're little edible plates!
Mitch Hedberg
#16. when the cheese belongs to the mitten take the horns off the roller coaster
Zach Peterson
#17. You didn't take part, Benjamin?" Gunther asked, as he passed me a plate of cheese and cold meat.
"My brother doesn't play games," said Paul. "He's an aesthete. He sat by the window all afternoon with a funny look on his face: probably composing a tone poem.
Jonathan Coe
#18. With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'
Russell Howard
#19. When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'
George Lopez
#20. Whenever you go out to eat you gotta get the appetizer. 'Cause the appetizer's just an excuse for an extra meal. You're always like "Lets see, I will start with the 80 buffalo wings ... and do you have a low-cal blue cheese? 'Cause I don't wanna fill up too much."
Jim Gaffigan
#21. Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Do you expect to attend many balls, if I may ask?' and I said, 'Yes, when I am rich and famous.' and Aunt Elizabeth said, 'Yes, when the moon is made of green cheese.
L.M. Montgomery
#24. I like cottage cheese. That's why I want to try other dwelling cheeses, too. How about studio apartment cheese? Tent cheese? Mobile home cheese? Do not eat mobile home cheese in a tornado.
Mitch Hedberg
#25. I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm ... I'm hungry actually.
Kristen Schaal
#26. I feel cheesy when I see 'Silver Spoons.' Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe.
Ricky Schroder
#27. Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it's a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
Bill Bailey
#28. In Pizza Express you can get garlic bread with cheese and tomato. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's a pizza.
Jimmy Carr
#29. I'm an appalling cook. I can just about create a glass of orange juice and a ham-and-cheese sandwich.
Dara O Briain
#30. I have a cheese-shredder at home, which is its positive name. They don't call it by its negative name, which is sponge-ruiner. Because I wanted to clean it, but now I have little bits of sponge that would melt easily over tortilla chips.
Mitch Hedberg
#31. I think cheese smells funny, but I feel bananas 'are' funny. I'm assuming Swamp told the whole story of the executives seriously asking us to replace the banana with cheese because they thought it was funnier.
Joe Murray
#33. I was one of those. I meddled with dark powers. I
summoned demons. I ate the entire little cheese, including the rind.
Patrick Rothfuss
#34. The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit County Fair
Olive B. Persimmon
#35. Ish #1 It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles.
Regina Griffin
#36. I eat swiss cheese. But I only nibble on it. I make the holes bigger.
Steven Wright
#37. Orion nodded, then asked, "Dwarf cheese?"
"Cheese made by dwarfs."
"Oh," said Orion, relieved. "They make it. It's not actually ... "
"No. What a horrible thought."
"Exactly.
Eoin Colfer
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