Never Say Never Funny Famous Quotes & Sayings

List of top 45 famous quotes and sayings about never say never funny to read and share with friends on your Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 45 Never Say Never Funny Quotes

#1. You can teach taste, editorial sense, but the ability to say something funny is something I've never been able to teach anyone. - Author: Abe Burrows
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#2. One thing I will say, they often take it better than a man. Pain, that is. Probably the residue of tolerance from when they were all bloody witches and got stoned or burned or drowned for it, eh lad? Never tell your mother I said that, by the way. - Author: Sarah Hall
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#3. Eventual, as Pug used to say. When he wanted to say something was really good, he's never say it was awesome, like most people do; he'd say it was eventual. How funny is that? The old Pugmeister. I wonder how he's doing. - Author: Stephen King
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#4. I never say a funny thing intentionally. - Author: Jayne Meadows
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#5. David tells me that fairies never say 'We feel happy': what they say is, 'We feel dancey'. - Author: J.M. Barrie
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#6. I never looked at myself as the fat sister. Sometimes I would beat people to the punch and say, 'Oh I'm the fat, funny one,' because that's what people would say about me. But I never really thought that. - Author: Khloe Kardashian
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#7. I say that I'm not into you like that, Camryn, because..," he pauses, searching my face, looking at my lips for a moment as if deciding whether or not he should kiss them again, " ... because you're not the girl I could only sleep with once. - Author: J.A. Redmerski
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#8. I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When? - Author: Bill Hicks
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#9. That explains a lot,' he said. 'I suppose it's also why we've never glimpsed that giant compass in the corner of the Atlantic. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed. - Author: Gideon Defoe
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#10. I've never been to a dinner party where everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny. - Author: Lorrie Moore
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#11. What's funny about Jesus' Son is that I never even wrote that book, I just wrote it down. I would tell these stories and people would say, You should write these things down. - Author: Denis Johnson
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#12. When we criticize in Iran the actions of the government, the fundamentalists say that we and the Bush Administration are in the same camp. The funny thing is that human rights activists and Mr. Bush can never be situated in the same group. - Author: Shirin Ebadi
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#13. Is your blouse Azzedine Alaia?'
'No, you could say it's VERY authentic vintage.'
Lachlain didn't care what it was; she'd never wear that damned unfinished shirt in public again. - Author: Kresley Cole
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#14. It's because you aren't thinking very clearly tonight."
"I know. Being Drunk is weird."
"Oh my god. I love you so much. Especially when you say stuff like that."
"Like what?"
"Nothing. Never mind. Although I'm dying to know why your shoe is green. - Author: Jessica Sorensen
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#15. Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who say things funny. - Author: Ken Dodd
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#16. It's funny, in some of the interviews I've seen that were done for the film, some people say things like, 'Oh, I was never a very big Jim Woodring fan. I've never thought his work was that great.' - Author: Jim Woodring
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#17. Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but ... " I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican." - Author: Demetri Martin
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#18. Wait a second," Clary said.
"I never understand why people say that," Luke said, to no one in particular. "I wasn't going anywhere. - Author: Cassandra Clare
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#19. I've never heard a girl say a diamond was too big."
"I just think when they get too big they look fake."
He leans down. "I say the same thing about breasts. - Author: Allie Everhart
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#20. And I like to keep whatever is mine remaining that way. It's a funny little game to play and it's a slippery slope. I always say to myself I'm never going to give anything away because there's never any point or benefit for me. - Author: Kristen Stewart
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#21. You can never look that tough in glasses ... You never see somebody push up their glasses and say, "I'm gonna kick your ass." - Author: Jim Gaffigan
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#22. They say to think within the box, but it's funny how those in the box never go anywhere, where those outside it, get to see the world. - Author: Anthony Liccione
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#23. When I made a breakthrough as an actor, people started to say, 'Who's that bloke with the funny name?' They advised me to change it, saying it would never be put up in lights outside theaters because they couldn't afford the electricity. But I would never contemplate changing it. It's who I am. - Author: Pete Postlethwaite
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#24. My goal was to show that even if people work in a garage or a supermarket, they have very funny things to say. We never hear their voices. - Author: Michel Gondry
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#25. WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY: You wanna swing? Fine! See that tree branch? The one with the rope ... - Author: Robin Glasser
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#26. You know crazy straws - they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say, "we're going straight to the mouth. That guy who takes a while to get there? He's crazy." - Author: Mitch Hedberg
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#27. They say the path of true love never runs smooth. Well, Luke and my true love's path didn't run at all, it limped along in new boots that were chafing its heels. Blistered and cut, red and raw, every hopping, lopsided step, a little slice of agony. - Author: Marian Keyes
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#28. After reading some of my stories, I once had a friend say to me, "I'd love to spend five minutes in your head to see what's going on in there." I warned them, "If you spent five seconds in my mind you'd probably run out screaming and never speak to me again. - Author: Mark W. Boyer
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#29. WHAT A CONCUBINE SHOULD NEVER SAY:
In your case, ED is not a man's name. - Author: Robin Glasser
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#30. Bug spray." Mosquitoes never bother me, but apparently they eat Tucker alive if he forgets bug spray. So I wear it for solidarity. "All the kids wear
it," I explain to Mom. "They say the mosquito is the Wyoming state bird. - Author: Cynthia Hand
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#31. I happen to be a fantastic kisser. Sadly, you will never get to find out."
"Never say never," he answers in a singsong voice.
"Thanks for that, Justin Bieber. But yeah, not going to happen, dude. - Author: Elle Kennedy
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#32. When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get attention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.' - Author: Steven Wright
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#33. Poor, dear old Mack, he was ninety-eight per cent perfect. His two percent failing was that he had absolutely no idea of the value or the power of arbitration. He was the veteran of a hundred battles, and I never once could say to the other fellow, 'Your dog started it. - Author: William S. Hart
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#34. Good." He grinned.
"I was kind of worried you'd say no. It's like so against the rules it's not even funny."
I smiled. "Well. I have to say, Jack Diamond, you've demonstrated a deplorable lack of respect for all of my rules."
He chuckled. "Never met a rule I couldn't break. - Author: Audrey Bell
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#35. In high school, I got picked on. It's funny that I got tormented for what I'm doing now - the acting thing. People would see me in a Nickelodeon commercial, and I would hear about it the next day at school. Kids would say, 'Hi, TV Boy.' They heckled. I never got beat up. - Author: Jason Biggs
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#36. You know when you mix butt and Angel in the same sentence, it becomes an insult," I say and take a big gulp from the can. With his back to me, he says, "Trust me, I would never dream of insulting your butt. I'm sure it's better than anything I'm cooking out here. - Author: Rucy Ban
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#37. I never liked apples. In fact, when I was a little girl, my mom wanted to give me apples in my lunch box and I would ask for green peppers. So bizarre ... It's funny - I don't have an apple a day, but I can say that I have a few a week. - Author: Lana Parrilla
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#38. If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed. - Author: Jerome K. Jerome
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#39. My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. "You don't know their situation," my mom would say. I considered it such an impolite question that for years I didn't even ask myself. Thirty-five turned into forty faster than McDonald's food turns into cold nonfood. - Author: Tina Fey
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#40. What is it about hairdressers? You tell them 'not too short' and some part of their hairdresser brain hears this as 'whack the shit out of it.' If you never say, 'not too short,' everything is fine. You say it, & it's a guarantee you'll come out ready for the military> - Author: Deb Caletti
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#41. I never lie. I believe everything I say, so it's not a lie. - Author: Mark Wahlberg
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#42. I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but safety first! - Author: J.K. Rowling
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#43. I still get very excited when people say they fall in love. It doesn't matter how old you are, falling in love is a beautiful thing. And I still act like I did when I was a teenager. I get fluttery and tap dance around. I'm never afraid of making funny faces or being completely goofy. - Author: Cote De Pablo
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#44. Aren't men funny? When they want to pay you the greatest compliment in their power, they naively tell you that you have a masculine mind. There is one compliment, incidentally, that I shall never be paying him. I cannot honestly say that he has a quickness of perception almost feminine. - Author: Jean Webster
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#45. I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit' button and would say whatever came into my head. Most of the time, what came out of my mouth was the very thing everyone else was thinking - but too polite or afraid to verbalize. - Author: Judy Gold
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