Top 100 Sarcasm Is Quotes
#1. Well, I'd certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death."
He blinked. "There is a fine line between sarcasm and outright hostility, and you seem to have crossed it. What's up?
Cassandra Clare
#2. I believe sarcasm is the passive form of rudeness and should not be tolerated in the Body of Christ.
Sean Feucht
#3. That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace.
J.D. Salinger
#4. I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.
Andrea Fay Friedman
#5. So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers ... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm?
Ellen DeGeneres
#6. Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.
Arthur Conan Doyle
#7. The Amulet of Samarkand. It was Simon Lovelace's. Now it is yours. Soon it will be Simon Lovelace's again. Take it and enjoy the consequences.
Jonathan Stroud
#8. Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference.
Bryant McGill
#9. Your sarcasm is unwelcome here, Horseman," the Crowfather rasped at him. "Pity. It seems determined to follow me everywhere.
Ari Marmell
#10. Your quick 'no' is because I refused to say 'yes' to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your -
Avery Aster
#11. Life has a whimsical way of kicking you in the throat. I find it to
be one huge cosmic joke at our expense, only nobody is laughing
but the forces that be - given that they are even a wee bit human.
Lori Goldson
#12. I don't want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.
Becca Fitzpatrick
#13. I admire all my three sons-in-law highly. Wickham, perhaps is my favourite; but I think I shall like your husband quite as well as Jane's.
Jane Austen
#14. Why can't these American women stay in their own country? They are always telling us that it is the paradise for women.
It is. That is the reason why, like Eve, they are so excessively anxious to get out of it.
Oscar Wilde
#15. Young people, nowadays, imagine that money is everything.
Yes, murmured Lord Henry, settling his button-hole in his coat; and when they grow older they know it.
Oscar Wilde
#16. I wanted to say, with as much sarcasm as I could put into my voice, "Sir, your poem is both original and interesting, but the part that is interesting is not original, and the part that is original is not interesting." But all I said was, "Not bad, you need to work on it some more.
Helon Habila
#17. Strange though it is,Sarov still cares about you. He told me to leave you alone. But I think, this time, I must disobey the general. You are mine! And I intend to make you suffer ... "
"Just talking to you makes me suffer," Alex said.
Anthony Horowitz
#18. Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary," Apollo remarked casually. I grinned at him. "I don't think 'assholeness' is a word.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#19. I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?"
"You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft.
Cecily White
#20. I don't know. Is that good-different, or I-should-come-with-a-warning-label-different?
Melissa A. Craven
#21. I've been a bad influence on you, Mr. Galloway. Less of the sarcasm, young man. Cynicism doesn't suit you," she said.
"I hardly think sarcasm is the worst thing you've brought into my life," he muttered.
Lauren James
#22. Kei: Is there anything else you need while I'm here, Your Highness?
Cabot: No, but you can leave the sarcasm in there.
Stefne Miller
#23. I'm so sick of sarcasm and irony, I could kill! Sincerely, the real root of things is love and sacrifice.
Ben Foster
#24. Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have been invented.
Stephen King
#25. Breslin gives me his wise-teacher smile, which is kind and crinkly and would make me feel warm all over if I was dumber than a bag of hair.
Tana French
#26. Are you insinuatin' that my daughter is a liar?"
"Oh, no, not at all. I'm saying your daughter is a liar. Surely you can appreciate the difference.
Kami Garcia
#27. I once saw you in a tuxedo and all I wanted to do is eat.
Pushpa Rana
#28. Sarcasm is weird. Even not in acting, in life I feel like 'sarcastic' is a word that people use to describe me sometimes so when I meet someone, it's almost like they feel like they have to also be sarcastic, but it can sometimes just come off as mean if it's not used in the right way.
Aubrey Plaza
#29. Im.' The monosyllable was heavy with contempt. 'E's a twat.'
'Is he?'
'Yeah, 'e is. Ask Kieran.'
She gave the impression that she and Kieran stood together, sane, dispassionate observers of the idiots populating Lula's world.
Robert Galbraith
#30. The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely a comma, it often occurs that an axiom appears a paradox, or that a sarcasm is converted into a sermonoid.
Edgar Allan Poe
#31. He did not joke, as the newspapers dared report, for sarcasm is bitter and conceals ferments of despair.
Jean Genet
#32. I don't know about your true form, but the weight of your ego sure is pushing the crust of the earth toward the breaking point.
Jim Butcher
#33. Creative semantics is the key to contemporary government; it consists of talking in strange tongues lest the public learn the inevitable inconveniently early.
George Will
#34. I don't know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it "so does cot death".
Tim Minchin
#35. Sarcasm all around the world is always against right wing and against people in power. That's the definition of political sarcasm.
Bassem Youssef
#37. Take her home."
Nick fake salutes. "Sir,yes sir."
"Sarcasm doesn't become you,Colt," Coach Walsh says,but he smiles when he says it, so obviously he is only mad at me,not superboy Nick Colt,beloved of coaches everywhere. If I were a guy he would let me run tomorrow.
Carrie Jones
#38. The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult.
Rowan Atkinson
#39. I also don't turn into a bat or sparkle in the sun. Hollywood's portrayal of vampires is almost as accurate as its portrayal of prostitution in Pretty Woman.
Kerry Allen
#40. If you are reading this, I'm dead. Don't celebrate too much. Jesus is watching.
Katie Graykowski
#41. Coming into your powers can be a very confusing time. Perhaps there is a book on the subject. If you like, we can go see Marian.
Yeah, right. Choices and Changes. A Modern Girl's Guide to Casting. My Mom Wants to Kill Me: A Self-Help Book For Teens.
Kami Garcia
#42. A whole castle full of damsels intent upon securing a husband?" Wesley mimicked in surprise. "Why, of course. What reasonable man would not be thrilled with such a prospect?"
-Wesley
Katharine Ashe
#43. Women do not lie about their age. In fact, no woman ever has, its just that memory is the first thing to go.
David C. Holley
#44. I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it), ...
Stephen King
#45. It is said that truth comes from the mouths of fools and children: I wish every good mind which feels an inclination for satire would reflect that the finest satirist always has something of both in him.
Georg C. Lichtenberg
#46. Give me a few minutes."
"You have time." He sat in the grass.
"Are you just going to sit there and watch me?"
"Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best."
"Peasant?"
He shrugged. "You started the name calling.
Ilona Andrews
#48. The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control.
Ann Coulter
#49. You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm.
It's really funny.
Brandon Sanderson
#50. Is my life, by any chance, about to take a new turn?
Jonas Jonasson
#51. Is this the baby?" I said.
Ma turned on me again.
"What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that can't talk?
George Saunders
#52. It must be nice to fly."
"Is that sarcasm?"
"No. If I could fly, I would live in tree. Stare down at everyone ... quietly hating them all.
G.A. Aiken
#53. Canada has a passive-aggressive culture, with a lot of sarcasm and righteousness. That went with my weird messianic complex. The ego is a fascinating monster. I was taught from a young age that I had to serve, so that turned into me thinking I had to save the planet.
Alanis Morissette
#54. I'm fully aware that some of the stuff I write is going to offend people or p*ss them off. They should be fully aware that I don't really care.
Briana Blair
#55. The building is a tumbling house of cards behind me. The bus bitches are paper cutouts.
Jolene Stockman
#56. Say this one time with me: "Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?" ... Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you're going to be able to get is selling SHOES!
George Huang
#57. I'd love to start some movements. What I'm tired of is irony, and sarcasm, and music/movies/what have you, not having the guts to mean anything.
Don Hertzfeldt
#59. An absence of antecedents and of relatives is sometimes an aid rather than an impediment to social advancement ...
Arthur Conan Doyle
#60. Mmm, being irresistibly likeable is such a trial,' she drawled in an impeccable aristocratic whine. 'One is constantly in demand, but one must do one's duty, mustn't one, dear chap? Noblesse oblige and all that ...
Susan Napier
#62. Sarcasm is a manifestation of anger, and anger can make you the puppet of your opponents.
Wayne Gerard Trotman
#63. You can't drive them around in the getaway van.' 'How about we don't call it the getaway van? People might get suspicious.' 'So what should we call it?' 'How about the van?' 'It doesn't change what it is and that it's a shitty thing to do. Someone might see them in it.
Cath Crowley
#64. What time is it?"
"One o'clock."
I nearly spit out some soda. "In the
afternoon?"
"No. In the morning. Don't let that damn
sunlight fool you. It lies.
Glenn Bullion
#65. The Death Mist is not for helping!" Akhlys shrieked. "It shrouds mortals in misery as their souls pass into the Underworld. It is the very breath of Tartarus, of death, of despair!"
"Awesome," Percy said. "Could we get two orders of that to go?
Rick Riordan
#66. Harsha Bhogle is always politically correct and keeps praising Indian players, but he doesn't extend the same courtesy to Ganguly. Sarcasm is Bhogle's favourite weapon.
Saptarshi Sarkar
#67. He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory?
John Green
#68. The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity ...
Arthur Conan Doyle
#69. The spirit of sarcasm lives and thrives in the midst of universal wreck; its balls are enchanted and itself invulnerable, and it braves retaliations and reprisals because itself is a mere flash, a bodiless and magical nothing.
Henri Frederic Amiel
#70. Truly," remarked Nandi as we entered a darkened tunnel, "it is amazing that you have not died yet, mistress." "Well, hang in there. The night is young.
Richelle Mead
#71. Marion: What is all this? What's going on?
Clint: The same thing that's always going on. The end of the world.
Rachel Pollack
#72. Forgive me, Your Grace. Are you suggesting a woman is some sort of ... piece of fruit to you? One squeeze, and you know if she's ripe?
Tessa Dare
#73. I turned to Dionysus. "You cured him?"
"Madness is my specialty. It was quite simple."
"But ... you did something nice. Why?"
He raised and eyebrow. "I am nice! I simple ooze niceness, Perry Johansson. Haven't you noticed?
Rick Riordan
#74. Right. That's twenty-two fifty."
"Twenty-two fifty?" We can't hide our exasperation.
"Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know."
"That's obvious - the service is incredible.
Markus Zusak
#75. Going beyond sarcasm straight to out-and-out insult is delicious, like wriggling out of a pair of Spanx.
Sarah Bird
#76. Success is the best revenge. I always feel women should answer back either with their sarcasm or success.
Kangana Ranaut
#77. What is your collective GPA for this year?"
"Not as high as I'd like it to be."
Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. "What about your parents?"
"I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while.
Nenia Campbell
#78. The problem is not that people make any bond of affection they like with people they like; the problem is calling that bond of affection "love.
Daya Kudari
#79. Simon: So were you following me? Or is it just an amazing coincidence that you happened to be on the roof of a building I was walking by when I got attacked?
Jace: I was following you.
Simon: Is this the part where you tell me you're secretly in love with me?
Cassandra Clare
#80. Sufficiently advanced political correctness is indistinguishable from sarcasm.
Erik Naggum
#81. I realize you're planning on fighting all the dragons single-handedly-"
"I'm going to protect you from John, dammit. Show him that he can't fucking mess with you. This is about territory."
Tom narrowed his eyes. "Are you going to piss a circle around me too?"
"If that's what it takes.
S.E. Jakes
#82. Sarcasm is wasted on those who haven't had a decent night's sleep, my darling.
Tracy Guzeman
#83. Critics are reprimanded when they get sarcastic. How absurd! Is the torch of criticism supposed to shine without burning?
Franz Grillparzer
#84. This is supposed to be a lighthearted session of symbolic document destruction, not a political debate.
Veronica Roth
#85. Dearest love, let me count the ways. Dismemberment, garroted, poisoned, drowned, named. I read that as soon as a species is named it begins its travels up the endangered list. Discovery meaning death.
Lindsay Hunter
#86. Then why are you here?" Emma demanded. "Oh, is this one of those missed-connections things? We met the other night, you felt a spark? Sorry, but I don't date trees."
"I am not a tree." Iarlath looked angry, his bark peeling slightly.
Cassandra Clare
#87. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Miss Steele.
E.L. James
#88. What's it like? Ballet school?"
"Harsh," he said. "Everyone dances until they collapse. We eat only raw-egg smoothies and wheat protein. Every Friday we have a dance-off and whoever is left standing gets a chocolate bar. Also we have to watch dance movies constantly.
Cassandra Clare
#89. My natural tendency toward sarcasm is still not appreciated.
Veronica Roth
#90. Crime is rampant. We even steal away from responsibility.
Andre Brie
#91. You see," I explained to Joshua, "what Joy is doing is ironic, yet that's not her intent. That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm."
"No kidding?" said Josh.
"Why do I waste my time with you?
Christopher Moore
#92. Remember sarcasm is forbidden and sincerity the order of the day. You are country folks now, and it will do you good to try their simple, honest ways for a few days.
Louisa May Alcott
#93. What I claim is to live to the full the contradiction of my time, which may well make sarcasm the condition of truth.
Roland Barthes
#94. I BELIEVE EVERYONE IS SPECIAL ...
BUT SOME PEOPLE THINK .
. IT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING NO-ONE IS
ASHISH RANJAN
#95. You like them," I realized.
Noah's eyebrows lifted in question.
"Like as people."
"As opposed to ... furniture?"
"They're my PARENTS."
"That is my understanding, yes.
Michelle Hodkin
#96. You'll pardon me," he finally said, "if the suggestion that the minuscule black turnip you call a heart is suddenly overflowing with generosity toward me leaves me wanting to arm myself and put my back against a wall.
Scott Lynch
#97. The words, I love you, are empty without clarification. Women prefer to be told what they can expect. It is measurable like a Weight Watcher's diet, with extra points at the end of the week if you don't cheat.
Shannon L. Alder
#100. He shook his head,'Fuck, you say such fucking weird things.'
'Is that still your favourite word?' asked Isola interestedly, 'I like "verisimilitude". Tolkein said the most beautiful English phrase is "cellar door",
Allyse Near
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