Quotes About Your Ex

#1. If you try to send a clear signal to and call your SoulMate into your life, having unfinished business with your ex is like static on the line.

Annette Vaillancourt

#2. I know you lost your partner in crime, but ... I want YOU to be MINE. Maybe WE should travel the world together, Camryn ... I know I can't replace your ex
"
"Andrew ... it was always you.

J.A. Redmerski

#3. There are a lot of things in the world that are unexplainable - love at first sight, vegetable pizza, and potpourri, for instance. But I doubt your ex's murder is one of them.

Stephanie Bond

#4. It's a mood record. Like one night you're going to be down in the dumps depressed because you're thinking about your ex-boyfriend and the next moment you're gonna be like screw him you know? And the next one you're saying to yourself 'God I'm in love.'

Willa Ford

#5. A relationship is NOT about your new partner to hear the things you didn't tell your ex's and for you to live on the fear of past relationship(s) ... BUT sometimes the person cannot love you as much as you appreciate yourself.

Coco Nicole Estef

#6. Personally, I think there's a lot to recommend being friends with your ex, and I'm glad to admit that I'm living proof of its possibility.

Mariella Frostrup

#7. What are you gonna say?" Emma asked. " 'I'm not sure I want you back, but I'm sure I don't want your ex-con ex-girlfriend to have you, either'? Yeah. That'll start this little triangle off on the right foot.

Rachel Vincent

#8. One of my mother's friends said to me, 'Your ex-boyfriends didn't stand a chance with you and your mother.' And I think I probably was unfair to them because she was the first person and the last person I called about every single thing. Sorry, ex-boyfriends.

Lily Rabe

#9. Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex's new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate's ex and any new mate that your new mate's ex has acquired.

Delia Ephron

#10. I'm going after your ex-husband," I heard him say softly. "And when I finish, there won't be enough left of him to fill a fucking matchbox.

Lisa Kleypas

#11. Do you or do you not like wearing earrings in your mouth that will one day smell like your ex-boyfriend's dick?

Carrie Fisher

#12. My ex-husband happens to be one of the most gifted moviemakers. And what is so bizarre about working with someone like that? I guess it is bizarre to be good friends with your ex-husband.

Ali MacGraw

#13. Being Puerto Rican, born and raised on the streets of New York, you go, 'Wow, you're still friends with your ex, man? Really? That's weird.' I don't play that.

Marc Anthony

#14. Most people just say 'sorry'. But handing over your ex for painful handling was so much better.

Suzanne Wright

#15. It turns out there is something worse than attending a wedding where you don't know anyone: attending a wedding where you know six people, and they are all your ex-husband's best friends.

Lauren F. Winner

#16. One of the benefits of being divorced is that you no longer need to listen to your ex's assessment of the appropriateness of your actions.

Amy Dickinson

#17. Like the locked room upstairs? Listen. I've read Jane Eyre. That better be a red room of pain up there, and not your ex-wife.

Kristan Higgins

#18. You don't particularly want to stay close to your ex-wife. Or why would she be your ex-wife?

Ian McShane

#19. I'm sensin' we're comin' to a positive end to this discussion so I don't wanna piss you off, but I'm not your counselor. I'm your ex-wife's man. You need to process shit, do it with one of your boys. I got shit to do.

Kristen Ashley

#20. In your ex-wife's stingy, slutty pussy, is the subtle point I'm trying to portray.

R.K. Lilley

#21. You can successfully take a jab at your ex without having everyone criticize you for it.

Selena Gomez

#22. It's been so many years since I actually had a date that I've forgotten how to act. You don't mention your ex when you've finished fucking your date; it's poor protocol

Scarlet Blackwell

#23. So are we stalking your ex-husband?"
"I'm a licensed private investigator," I said. "I'm licensed to stalk."
"Really?"
"In most cases."
"What about this case?"
"In this case," I said. "We're stalking the hell out of him.

J.R. Rain

#24. When your ex says "I miss you", that means the person they tried to replace you with has failed.

Manasa Rao

#25. So you're going shopping with your ex-boyfriend to find an outfit to snare your next boyfriend? Oh, what a tangled web you weave.

Jillian Dodd

#26. When you delete pictures of your ex off your phone, it feels lighter.

Dane Cook

#27. Divorce isn't the child's fault. Don't say anything unkind about your ex to the child, because you're really just hurting the child.

Valerie Bertinelli

#28. There will come a time in every girl's life when she realizes that your ex-girlfriend wasn't crazy. Actually, she was right (about you).

Nakia R. Laushaul

#29. You want to know what it feels like to be castrated? Try having your nine-year-old brother protect you from your ex-girlfriend after you've told her you're in love with a man.

T.J. Klune

#30. But if there was a protocol for how to say goodbye to your newly ex-boyfriend's brother, right after you kissed him and probably sent your ex into the arms of his willing ex-girlfriend, I didn't know what it was.

Rachel Vincent

#31. Your allegiance is with your spouse; you cannot break that by showing allegiance to your ex-spouse.

Connie Sellecca

#32. Badmouthing your ex-spouse rips the child apart

Dennis Prager

#33. ..reading your ex's horoscope every week isn't going to help you control his life. No, you need to hide in his bushes, break into his email, or kidnap his dog if you want to effect any real change.

Jenny Mollen

#34. If a tree falls in the forest and kills your ex-wife, what do you do with the lumber?

Neil S. Plakcy

#35. It has taken me a long time to work out the function of ex-boyfriends, at least for me: how they can help you work out what you want from life and from a partner by showing you what you don't. If a man is your ex, it's better all round if he was not Mr. Right.

Nicola Monaghan

#36. I said, "It seems like you have fond feelings towrd your ex-wife. Are you two still close?" "Nah," he said casually. "She thinks I changed my name to motherfucker.

Elizabeth Gilbert

#37. Darlin', you can't tell me your ex wasn't adventurous and not expect me to see it as a challenge.

Leah Braemel

#38. You don't bad-mouth your ex or anything like that. The key is your kid knowing that both parents still love him and are there for him.

Dennis Quaid

#39. Going back to your ex is like taking back your spit from the ground.

M.F. Moonzajer

#40. I'm in love with your ex-wife," ... "I've loved her since high school, man. She means everything to me. You gotta drag her down, that'll suck, but I'll pick her back up. You gotta rip her apart, I'll fuckin' hate watchin' it, but I'll put her back together.

Kristen Ashley

#41. The skanky vamp biting for bucks on the dark end of state street is your ex boyfriend? William asked. The look on William's face implied he hoped I washed after interacting with Parrish

Tate Hallaway

#42. Your extracurricular activities are definitely somewhat lackluster, Annie."
"What? Being the daughter of a celebrated criminal doesn't count as an extracurricular activity?"
"No," Scarlet said. "A case could be made for poisoning your ex-boyfriend however.

Gabrielle Zevin

#43. Friendship is one mind in two bodies."

Right. Until your BFF went out of her mind and after your ex-boyfriend's body.

Melissa Landers

#44. The Orwellian vision was about state-sponsored surveillance. Now it's not just the state, it's your nosy neighbor, your ex-spouse and people who want to spam you.

Howard Rheingold

#45. It's probably a bad indicator of your lifestyle when you miss your ex-boyfriend because he's absolutely lethal.

Charlaine Harris

#46. Why are you so petrified of silence, here can you handle this? Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines or when you think you're gonna die? Or did you long for the next distraction ...

Alanis Morissette

#47. President Obama is in China. Also in China is evil Russian dictator Vladimir Putin. They're both in China at the same time. It's like running into your ex-girlfriend on vacation.

David Letterman

#48. You say your ex-girlfriend left you for someone else. In other words, she found a brighter star in the sky.

Tony Sakalauskas

#49. You should not propose marriage until you have resolved your feelings about your ex.

Amy Dickinson

#50. Get Your Ex Back: The 4 Things Your Ex Needs You to Do Before You Get Back Together

Clay Andrews

#51. Politicians are really getting desperate. In fact, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid sent out a final fundraising email to Democrats with the subject line, 'I'm begging.' Because what better way to show you're a strong leader than acting like you're drunk and dialing your ex?

Jimmy Fallon

#52. Fletcher was always going to be your ex-boyfriend, from the moment you met him. He's just finally caught up with where he's supposed to be.

Derek Landy

#53. Sienna Rivers, ex-nerd, undisputed reigning chess champion of the class of 09 and the proverbial all round wise-ass degenerate pain in your backside.

Ali Harper

#54. Understanding the past requires pretending that you don't know the present. It requires feeling its own pressure on your pulses without any ex post facto illumination.

Paul Fussell

#55. Stop trying to make an X-men out of an Ex man. If he was meant to be super he would have been, leave the past in the past and look to your future. - AHC III

A.H. Carlisle III

#56. But think about it -what if there were a deus ex machina in real life? Everything would be so easy! If you felt stuck or trapped, some god would swing down from up there and solve all your problems. What could be easier than that?

Haruki Murakami

#57. First you have nothing, and then, astonishingly, after ripping out your brain and your heart and betraying your friends and ex-lovers and dreaming like a zombie over the page till you can't see or hear or smell or taste, you have something.

T.C. Boyle

#58. He laughed again. "Not boring and not dumb. That's so much better than your boyfriend who both bored me and was dumb. To be honest I don't
know what you saw in him."
"Ex. Ex-boyfriend " she said. "I swear to God I'm never going to live that down.

Thea Harrison

#59. I think when you get older, things come along that you know are a test in some way of your ability to stay with it. And when e-mail came along, I was just going to fall in love with it. And I did. I can't believe it now - it's like one of those ex-husbands that you think, 'What was I thinking?'

Nora Ephron

#60. Why can't the ex-Chemist have a second chance? I get that we're kids and he's an adult, but you don't learn everything before you grow up. You learn until grass grows on your grave.

Shelley Tougas

#61. You've got food stuck in your teeth," Vee told
Marcie. "In the crack between your two front teeth.
Looks like chocolate Ex-Lax ...

Becca Fitzpatrick

#62. I had a dog. Ex-wife took him, and the house."
Is that why you like country music?"
He eased himself our of the closet. "Huh?"
"Just a joke. Sorry about your dog.

Jeri Smith-Ready

#63. Violence is one way to silence people, to deny their voice and their credibility, to assert your right to control over their right to exist. About three women a day are murdered by spouses or ex-spouses in this country. It's one of the main causes of death for pregnant women in the United States. At

Rebecca Solnit

#64. I think that my regrets mostly have to do with my relationship with my ex-girlfriend. Every once in a while, you get those flashback memories of conversations you had with your exes, and you just, like, wince when you're walking down the street. Something occurs to you, 'Oh, no, I said that.'

Mike Birbiglia

#65. Does that new man in your life call his ex "a slut", "a whore", "a bitch", "psycho" , "crazy", "a nutter" etc etc. Chances are, whatever he's calling his ex right now, he'll be calling you when things don't go his way. Be warned.

Miya Yamanouchi

#66. Maybe she'd ended up going to Ireland because whilst visiting her father she'd bumped into an old love from her youth, perhaps even her ex? Such spontaneous acts really only worked with men left over from earlier in your life.

Eva Heller

#67. Boys say they don't mind how you get your hair done. But then they leave you for someone with really great standard girl hair and the next thing you know you're alone with a masculine crop crying into your granola.

Alexa Chung

#68. Ex-act-ly, pre-cisely: with your usual acuteness, you have hit the nail straight on the head.

Charlotte Bronte

#69. It turns out that there is nothing so 'ex' as an ex-politician, especially a defeated one. Your phone goes dead.

Michael Ignatieff

#70. Now how about you man the fuck up, put your big girl panties on and go get your fucking ex- girlfriend back.

Karina Halle

#71. If breakups are like deaths, then ex sightings are like seeing a ghost: you feel goose bumps, near loss of bladder control, and the sensation of your heart bursting in your throat. The distinction is that the ex is alive.

Daria Snadowsky

#72. You should change your Password"
"not exactly a priority so I haven't got'round to it"
"I'll do it for you"I offered.
His arms gave me a squeeze and he grinned.
"What'll you chose?"
before I could stop my mouth from forming the words, I said "Shebitchfromhell666

Kristen Ashley

#73. Which is where I met my my husband. Not currently my husband. My ex. Though he wasn't that then. I never know how to say that."
"Allow my copydesk expertise to intervene: your then-pre-husband, later-to-be-post-husband in his prior-to-ex-husband status.

Tom Rachman

#74. Not godlike at all, but more like a sociapathic, bipolar ex-girlfriend who loses her shit, burns all your jeans and then blames you for making her do it.

Heather McVea

#75. You actually fucked her? What, did her forked tongue feel exceptionally good on your dick or something? - Keely to Jack after meeting his ex-girlfriend.

Lorelei James

#76. When I'm ninety-five and it's 'This is Your Life' time, they'll still be referring to me as 'ex-Beatle' ... it does have it's advantages. It's still the best way to get a good table at a resturant.

Ringo Starr

#77. Gentlemen. You are looking at the true Abraham Lincoln of Arabia. And in order to end our internal bickering - our civil war, if you will - I have solicited your aid.

Leonard Leventon

#78. A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life.

Jim Samuels

#79. Got a long list of ex-lovers, they'll tell you I'm insane. But I got a blank space baby, and I'll write your name.

Taylor Swift

#80. Some ex-lovers you see from time to time, and it's great to run into them; and some you'd like to run into, but they seem to avoid the stretch of road you're on when you put your foot down...

Bronwyn Angela White

#81. He stepped on it. Squished it. Squashed it. Killed it. Cut it down in its prime. It kicked the bucket, turned up its toes, shuffled off this mortal coil. It was ... an ex-rabbit."
"He's a dangerous man, your father."
"The baby better learn to dodge.

Derek Landy

#82. Thank you so much for the rude know-it-all attitude while also having to look at your ridiculously colored hair and obnoxious facial and chest piercings. I am very fortunate to have just been schooled by someone who looks like they graduated from Care Bear Carnage University.

Heather Chapple

#83. I quickly learned that as the ex-whatever, you only get so many golden opportunities to keep your mouth shut, and you should take advantage of every single one.

Chris Hadfield

#84. It's like I'm married to the silencer,
Until I file for divorce and release my ex-calibers.
Do art with your arteries, place that for my adversaries,
Put your snap back cap back, cap your capillaries.

Pharoahe Monch

#85. I sent my ex-husband a bully card: You held hate in one heart and spoke niceties with the other, you laid warm hands upon me in public and wounded me in private, your noble face hid your filthy ways, and your sorrow was but laughter.

Jenny Jay

#86. When you gotta go out and make a movie to pay for the kid's private school and for the three ex-wives, don't talk to me about your artistry. It's their job. It's not my job. It's my calling.

Quentin Tarantino

#87. I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again," he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. "It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters

David Sedaris

#88. Let us end this farce, observer! Give me your final, most beloved act of "will"... The one you most wish to believe was your own idea!
"My own... will... I... I believe that this love for Yukiteru-kun... is real!

Sakae Esuno

#89. I was thinking about the cow thing. About how hanging on to an ex-boyfriend is like chewing your cud until somebody drops a fresh bale of hay in front of you. Or something like that.

Dandi Daley Mackall

#90. Every time you think about the ex, every time the loneliness rears up in you like a seething, burning continent, you tie on your shoes and hit the paths and that helps; it really does.

Junot Diaz

#91. *jerk'jrk 1 an ex-wife or ex-husband who continually annoys you with stupid, irrational, and immature behavior 2 one whose values differ so dramatically from yours that you wonder how you will ever make it through your child's lifetime

Julie A., M.A. Ross

#92. He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory?

John Green

#93. Some men get the world, some men get ex-hookers and a trip to Arizona. You're in with the former, but my God I don't envy the blood on your conscience.

James Ellroy

#94. Christiana as much as I still love you and never wished for our marriage to end, you were, you are and will always be a Barrington. Your father has seen to that her ex-husband bristled

Peggy Hattendorf

#95. If you have been harboring anger or bitterness or jealousy in your heart toward someone - a parent, an ex-spouse, a boss - hand it over to Christ, and ask Him to help you let it go.

Billy Graham

#96. It's amazing, the look in your eyes, like you could save me, but you won't even try

Matt Nathanson

#97. You mere device," he gnarled. "You platitude! Your Gollux ex machina!

James Thurber

#98. If you're walking down the street and you smell a scent, it can take you right back to a memorable time in your life, whether it's a moment with an ex-girlfriend or a childhood event.

Chris Evans

#99. Spirituality does not lie in meditating the body of an ex-master. Spirituality exists in mediating on your own inner body.

Amit Ray

#100. He will be sorry for the way he treated you,
Don't you worry about that. Focus on your growth and watch his eyes gaze in sorrow as he knows, he was the bastard that made you strong.

Nikki Rowe