J.R. Rain Quotes

#1. He was about an inch shorter than me, about half the width of me, and certainly not as good looking. Not everyone can be me. Who

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#2. You're very attractive," I said, certain I would have been blushing had I the blood to do so. "That is, for someone who is encased in flesh." Nice pink envelope you have there, I thought. She

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#3. Once I study up on them and the case, I always feel closer to the victims. That closeness drives me to find them or their killers. As if the dead speak to me from within the pages of the case files.

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#4. I was unlovable in his eyes and so therefore I was unlovable in my own eyes.

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#5. The dude who didn't seem to care that he smelled like wide-open ass.

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#6. Perhaps he'd been in heaven. Perhaps he'd been playing on streets paved with gold. Or, more likely, playing Xbox with Jesus. Only

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#7. If I hear any more loud voices, you will both be auctioned off on eBay. I could use the extra money.

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#8. I believe spirituality is a very personal and individual experience that varies from one person to the next.

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#9. Hell hath no fury like a man embarrassed by a woman

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#10. Silence speaks louder than words.

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#11. I try not to think that death might really just be losing one's mind forever. So scattered that it never comes back.

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#12. You're never alone, Sam. Ever. As hard as life might seem, there's always hope. There's always a way, and there's always love. Always.

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#13. Sure," said my sister. "I mean you can't go to hell, because you don't die. You can be as evil as you want. I think I would probably kill off most men." "Most?" "I would leave the pretty ones." "Oh, brother," I said.

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#14. I opened the bag of Oreos and commenced my training, bulking up with one Oreo after another. I washed them down with swigs from the bottle of scotch, as a real man should. When I was tired of the Oreos, after about the thirtieth, I took out a cigarette and tried like hell to give myself lung cancer.

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#15. His domed head was perfectly buffed and polished, cleanly reflecting the halogen lighting above.

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#16. I have fourteen black wives an' one white, de chiefest one. I would sure enough shoo her away dis minute if you tek her place in my bed tonight, Mama Sam Moon.
Was sex all these people ever thought about? I guess life was short back then, and nobody had much time to waste on anything else.

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#17. These days, I do not have the strength or energy to even be negative. These days, I just am.

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#18. She unconsciously pulled her sticky shirt away from her skin and grimaced, as if sweating through her clothes was distasteful.

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#19. I was dressed in khaki shorts, a surfing T-shirt and white Vans. Coupled with my amazing tan and disarming smile, I was surprised I wasn't more often confused with Jimmy Buffet. If Jimmy Buffet stood six foot four and weighed two hundred and twenty. "You

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#20. What the fuck is a scone?
It's Irish, I think, for stale bread.

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#21. Are you ready, baby?" I asked her. "I'm ready, daddy." "Follow my lead," I said. "Like old times." "Like old times," she said. The

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#22. A marriage shouldn't have to be so much work. Love shouldn't crush your soul. A relationship should add to your life, not take away from it.

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#23. So are we stalking your ex-husband?"
"I'm a licensed private investigator," I said. "I'm licensed to stalk."
"Really?"
"In most cases."
"What about this case?"
"In this case," I said. "We're stalking the hell out of him.

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#24. For a friendship to work, both people have to want the same thing. Both people have to want to be friends.

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#25. I put the carpetbag on a ledge, and then, hanging upside down by my razor-clawed feet, slept until sunset. A first for me, and actually quite comfortable.
Lord help me.

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#26. My first thought was that a tornado had somehow picked me up and carried me off, like in the Wizard of Oz. No old witches pedaled by, and I didn't see any flying farm animals or chicken coops, and after a few agonizing minutes, I fell deep into unconsciousness again.

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#27. Yeah, he fought like a crazy man. His face twisted. And, no, he didn't hit her. At least, not in the memories I saw. But he was verbally abusive.

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#28. It is on those mist-filled nights, when the wind is strong and curious, when the air is alive with something unseen but felt, that you finally believe ... oh, yes, you finally believe what your heart has always known: magic is real and it is everywhere. - Diary of a Pagan

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#29. Men tend to think all of their points were good, and they sure as hell didn't need me to boost their already inflated egos.

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#30. If the listener is not ready for the truth, it will fall upon deaf ears.

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#31. reached down through the closed wooden lid and struck a key. A minor key, I think.

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#32. I had been a happy normal wife and mother in Orange County until ten years ago, when I was attacked by an evil vampire ... and turned into one myself. It's made my life since gross and scary and, let's face it, weird.

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#33. So what would happen if I broke in? Would a wart appear on my nose? Would a she-devil manifest in a swirl of black smoke to drag me down to hell? Would Lady Gaga apparate and give me a make-over?

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#34. All of it gleamed in haphazard array, and most was covered by cobwebs from centuries past, along with layers of dust and grime.

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#35. You only come when you're working on a case?" "Something like that," I said. "You would prefer I came more often?" He looked at me from over his non-steaming cup of coffee. "Yes," he said simply, and I found his answer oddly touching. "So am I to assume you are working on a case now?" "You

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#36. I'm not half vampire. I'm just strong like a vampire. Like Mom." "That's the half part, buttface." "You're the buttface, buttface." "You can't say buttface twice, buttface." "You just did!" I rolled my eyes and checked my watch. They had gotten along for all of two hours. Better than nothing.

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#37. But dogs are going to be dogs, ya know? You can't get mad at them for being dogs. I

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#38. Sleep is a blessing.

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#39. Again, I didn't blame her. I was a big man. A big handsome, athletic and sensitive man. Have

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#40. She wasn't always a demon," he finished. "She was my mother once.

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#41. Reminder: Dump Brains and Bowels in Hazmat Bin!

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#42. She stared at me. "I'm sure there's more to it than that, Ms. Moon." I was fairly certain that if she had a ruler, she would have rapped my knuckles with it. "Why

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#43. Life on earth is our chance to grow, to learn, to observe, to interact, to trust, to give and to receive.

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#44. I guess us folks in California are kind of straitlaced and old-fashioned.
Hahaha, I thought on the way downstairs. I never thought I'd say those words with a straight face ...

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#45. Well, not anymore, I said, and shot Lady Goo-Goo Eyes another hard stare,

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#46. Was I altering the 'space-time continuum' or whatever they called it in time travel movies, just by existing right now? Perhaps I'd accidentally kill a mosquito that might have given some famous person a disease that killed them?

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#47. You'll be in good hands with the colonel, you'll see.
The colonel? Okay, I was obviously stuck in a Gone With the Wind theme park. Or maybe a Kentucky Fried Chicken farm.
Or I was simply hallucinating ...

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#48. We all know more than we give ourselves credit for. The problem is, there's too much surface shit that gets in the way, too many clouds obscuring our thoughts, filling us with worry and doubt and fear. It stops us from tapping deeper within ourselves.

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#49. Dedication This book is dedicated to mothers everywhere: Our amazing, selfless, unsung heroes. Love you, ma.

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#50. My philosophy is this: Life is too short to work another minute at a job you don't love.

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#51. All that Anne Rice crap is true, I thought on my way out the door; New Orleans really does have a vampire problem.
Besides me, of course.

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#52. Tell me, Mrs. Moon, will your need for sustenance trouble you on this excursion? How often do you need to feed? I couldn't tell whether his interest was scientific, or whether he was afraid I might plunge my teeth into his throat at any moment.

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#53. Do you drink blood?" His tone was challenging. I felt like a daughter confronted by her father about smoking weed or drinking booze. "I

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#54. And I can't wait to see what your mother thinks about all of this, too." I paused, shaking my head. "No one stops to consider their mothers. It's a pity." "You

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#55. Am I right in thinkin' you've maybe been" - he dropped his voice - "the victim of an infamous outrage by the darkies?

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#56. We knoooooow," said Anthony, laying his head on the table. "You told us like a Brazilian times." "Bazillion," Tammy corrected. "Brazil is a state." "Country," I said. "Whatever,

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