Top 100 Quotes About Vodka
#1. Things on the essential list: vodka, Nine Inch Nails, a steady supply of mortal men, and an all-purpose bitchy attitude.
Richelle Mead
#2. Drinks were a lot like books, really: it didn't matter where you were, the contents of a vodka tonic were always more or less the same, and you could count on them to take you away to somewhere better or at least make your present arrangements seem more manageable.
Lev Grossman
#3. Are you really speechless or has the vodka finally impaired your ability to function like a normal human?
Heidi McLaughlin
#4. When life gives you lemons, add vodka.
Denise B.
#5. I don't like people who drink decaf coffee it's like what. Why you drinking it? Like it taste so good? That's like drinking non alcoholic vodka.
Chelsea Handler
#6. Eat anything before you started drinking?" Xander asked.
"Fuck off."
"I can tell that vodka is helping you make great decisions."
Javier glared. "Fuck off."
"Has your vocabulary been reduced to two words now?"
"No. Please fuck off.
Shayla Black
#7. It sucks, but no Long Islands or margaritas when you drink. It has to be straight vodka.
Nicole Polizzi
#8. Considering that Americans are now moving away from whiskey, moving away from brown spirits in general, I believe that they will all join Russians who drink vodka straight. They will sip it like cognac.
Roustam Tariko
#9. It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.
Zlatan Ibrahimovic
#10. I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.
Mitch Hedberg
#11. This book could not have been written without the people of Mongolia, who allowed me to live among them for a time and who taught me their history over salted tea and vodka while the winter eased into spring.
Conn Iggulden
#12. Martinis are glamorous but also so simple because they only have a few ingredients, and you can really taste the vodka.
Stephanie Sigman
#13. I'm a hypochondriac. Yesterday it was brain damage from the vodka the night before. Today, heart attack - my arm and chest started hurting at the same time.
Lisa Marie Presley
#14. Vodka was one of the three things the Soviet Union made that were suitable for export, not counting political exiles; the other two were weapons and novels.
Viet Thanh Nguyen
#15. My selective memory of what drinking was like told me that standing at the bar in a pub, on a summer's evening with a long, tall glass of lager and lime was heaven, and I chose not to remember the nights on which I had sat with a bottle of vodka, a gram of coke and a shotgun, contemplating suicide.
Eric Clapton
#16. Of course we got drunk!" Semyon said. "It's okay to get drunk, Anton. If you need to real bad. Only you have to get drunk on vodka. Cognac and wine - that's all for the heart."
"So what's vodka for?"
"For the soul. If it's hurting real bad
Sergei Lukyanenko
#17. Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.
Garrison Keillor
#18. There's no absolutes in life - only vodka.
Mick Jagger
#19. Are you mad that he's here?" Marie whispered in my ear.
I shook my head while I prepared two vodka tonics.
"Well, you look mad." She laughed at me. "What's wrong?"
"I'm allergic to whores," I said under my breath.
Tina Reber
#20. No, tequila makes me throw up. Vodka makes my clothes fall off." I grin and sip my water. "You might want to take notes.
Kristen Proby
#21. Who keeps the tavern and serves up the drinks? The peasant. Who squanders and drinks up money belonging to the peasant commune, the school, the church? The peasant. Who would steal from his neighbor, commit arson, and falsely denounce another for a bottle of vodka? The peasant.
Anton Chekhov
#22. your girls are made by sugar and spice my girls are made by vodka and ice
Me
#23. Vodka was evil; pure liquid evil. She needed to learn to keep her mouth shut. She needed to learn that vodka was not her friend. Much like Alex wasn't likely to be if she couldn't extricate herself from this.
Erin Lawless
#24. If you want me to be a teenager, don't send me to Support Group. Buy me a fake ID so I can go to clubs, drink vodka, and take pot.
John Green
#25. Jazz and vodka, the fuel of resistance.
Rawi Hage
#26. Happy hour is slightly different in the Soviet Union. There are no ice cubes or orange-peel twists in the vodka. Also, it lasts all day.
P. J. O'Rourke
#27. My whole persona is vodka bottles and marijuana The hope in Nana was rockin', inspired from my Mama
Vinnie Paz
#28. Don't you want to find your purpose?'
Lara glared at her. 'Right now my purpose is to get the hell out of here and then I'll figure the rest of it out the normal way; by drinking vodka. Or maybe I'll read Eat, Pray, Love all the way through ...
Lola Salt
#29. Death was a cold and endless place. At least life served vodka.
Sonja Yoerg
#30. Useless Facts About Vodka (How dare you, there's nothing useless about vodka) Vodka does have an expiration date and will most likely go bad after 12 months. Sad but true. No matter, the stuff is usually gone in 12 hours anyways. Until
Daniel Ganninger
#31. I was a drinker, so I went through the scotches. Before single malts hit, there were really cheap scotches, because nobody was paying attention to them. Then by the time they started jacking those prices up, I moved on to vodka.
Lewis Black
#32. I've learned 2 things about tv. It's always easier with vodka & SOME OF THE BEST SINGERS ARE FROM THE PHILIPPINES
Ellen DeGeneres
#33. Now, I was a fan of the simple pleasures in life: grilled cheese sandwiches without black flecks on the crust, jeans that didn't pinch the better parts of me, an inch of vodka, ten to twelve hours of sleep. - Cole St Clair, Forever.
Maggie Stiefvater
#34. I'm partial to a nice cup of vodka. I normally just drink it really simple with a little bit of lemon.
Cate Blanchett
#36. Even when I was dizzy with vodka, that smile never failed to make my heart speed up.
Richelle Mead
#37. Oh I bet you're sweet as under all that posh.'
And he looked at her in a way that left her in no doubt that he wasn't talking about the way she might move on the dance floor. If he mentioned honey pots she was going to pour her vodka shot over him. 'You'll never know,
Amy Andrews
#38. Thunder gods don't hide."
The Russian shrugged. "I am not like Thor. I have Russian depth of character. And I like to help people, not hurt them. Usually I help with vodka. You want some?
Kevin Hearne
#39. As the Siberian saying goes: One hundred versts (roughly a hundred miles) is no distance. A hundred rubles isn't worthwhile money. And a hundred grams of vodka just makes you thirsty.
Farley Mowat
#40. The best thing to do, if you really want to be good, is drink vodka all day, from the second you get up to the second they say, "Cut!"
Kurt Fuller
#41. Nyx had finished off a fifth of vodka for breakfast, since she'd sworn off whiskey.
Kameron Hurley
#42. Most Russians don't care whether they are ruled by fascists or communists or even Martians as long as they can buy six kinds of sausage in the store and lots of cheap vodka.
Alexander Lebed
#43. It's your life, quite possibly your only one. Still you find yourself having a vodka at three a.m., waiting for your pill to kick in, with time ticking through you and your own ghost already wandering among your rooms.
Michael Cunningham
#44. Vodka does not ease back pain. But it does get your mind off it.
Fuzzy Zoeller
#45. Vodka is like water, but with consequences.
Tom Rachman
#46. In the old days in San Francisco there was a famous drink called Pisco Punch, made from Pisco, a Peruvian brandy pisco punch used to taste like lemonade but had a kick like vodka, or worse.
Harold Ross
#47. I love the Swedish people for their detective novels, their archipelago, their sense of humor, their carbonated vodka, and most especially, for their wonderful hospitality.
Michael Levitt
#49. Neither poems nor prose just a length of rope just the wet earth
that's the way home. neither vodka nor bread just bursts of rage just more new graves
that's youth and that's love. neither sleep nor waking neither joy nor laughter just tears in the night
so the rope, paper, knife.
Tadeusz Borowski
#50. When I sit in my bedroom with a book and a bottle of vodka, I do it because I'm sad, not because I think it's cool. I do it because I want to forget what I am thinking about.
Richey Edwards
#51. We used to get published a lot. And there was this vodka advertisement ... it embarrassed me a lot afterwards.
Robin Day
#52. Drinking goes with everything, there's always an excuse to drink. We sell beer and liquor 24/7/365 everywhere, you can buy a 5th of vodka at 3am on Easter Sunday if you want.
Kirk Windstein
#53. In the former Soviet republics, there are three staples of life: vodka, chocolate, and corruption. I know someone who once survived in Uzbekistan for two weeks solely on these three items.
Eric Weiner
#54. I'll bring you a special tea ... to soothe your nerves, my dear. Is that fine?" Nyx spoke softly to Andy.
Andy nodded, "Yes, thank you."
Galen handed Andy a box of tissues. "I think she needs something stronger; vodka, perhaps?
Nely Cab
#55. One night, I drink too many toasts with vodka, and once in my blameless, virtuous life, I wind up getting sick in a decorative urn. The price? My sister's eternal condemnation." "Not condemnation. But eternal teasing? Definitely.
Claudia Gray
#56. Without Mona, Hanna felt like a great outfit without matching accessories, a screw-driver that was all orange juice and no vodka, and an iPod without headphones. She just felt wrong.
Sara Shepard
#57. It's super cloudy right now but I think I can see the northern lights from my room. Another observation: Every light is a strobe light, if you just blink fast enough, and drink enough vodka.
-Karen Quan and Jarod Kintz
Karen Quan
#58. Squeeze some lemon on it, a dab of hot sauce, throw the oyster down the back of your throat, take a shot of vodka, and try to forget you just ate snot from a rock.
Jim Gaffigan
#59. That's what best friends did for each other. No coddling, just straight talk, mockery, and having each other's back. And providing vodka when necessary and not pregnant.
L.B. Gregg
#60. I need a lot of black on my eyes and a little shot of vodka to be brave, because you're beautiful when you relax.
Carine Roitfeld
#61. It'll take you a couple of vodka and tonics to set you on your feet again.
Elton John
#62. Beer does not satisfy magic, however. So the magic ordered a round of Harvey Wallbangers. But it takes more than vodka to fuel magic. It takes risks. It takes EXTREMES.
Tom Robbins
#63. Those Yalta nights, with extraordinary women who could drink vodka without swooning until six in the morning and sweaty young people from the Association of Proletarian Writers of Crimea who came to ask for literary advice at four in the afternoon.
Roberto Bolano
#64. But Pavlov purely for a good purpose. Pavlov for friendliness and trust and compassion. Whereas you prefer to use Pavlov for brainwashing, Pavlov for selling cigarettes and vodka and patriotism. Pavlov for the benefit of dictators, generals and tycoons.
Aldous Huxley
#65. Hey you know what they say you should do when life gives you lemons?"
The sudden change in topic made my head spin, "Make lemonade?" I answered weakly.
"Lemonade? Who the fuck do you hang out with, Girl Scouts? No, when life gives you lemons, you add vodka and make a lemon drop.
Cardeno C.
#66. Russians really needed a product that would be not as strong as vodka and not as feminine as cheap sparkling wine, so Martini was a good solution.
Roustam Tariko
#67. Could still taste the sweet mint and vodka in his kiss.
Michelle Hughes
#68. Russian vodka is OK if you need to clean the oven. For drinking, it must henceforth be Polish.
Hugh Laurie
#69. There's a trade show going on this week for Russian vodka," Ranger said. "This consulate will be hosting a meet-and-greet party at five o'clock. That would be a good time for us to slip in.
Janet Evanovich
#70. Money, like vodka, turns a person into an eccentric.
Anton Chekhov
#71. The hedonistic lifestyle is difficult to achieve when you're still carrying your own gear. Trust me that you don't feel glamorous with a 60-pound amp in your arms; it's a lot less sexy than toting a vodka gimlet and impossible to do in heels.
Carrie Brownstein
#72. it is true that both the Red Army and the secret police traditionally gave vodka to soldiers who were being asked to do dirty work: empty bottles are almost always found inside mass graves.
Anne Applebaum
#73. Strike One!"
"You never even saw it did you? She wolf with shoulders like man?"
"He is so fast that one. But not in bed. There he takes time. Like good vodka take to develop
Shelly Laurenston
#74. George Jessel's newest pick-me-up which is receiving attention from the town's paragraphers is called a Bloody Mary: half tomato juice, half vodka.
Lucius Beebe
#76. Sex without smiling is as sickly and as base as vodka and tonic without ice.
Stephen Fry
#77. Back on the ferry, I sip some vodka on the rocks and have a chat with God.
Me: (desperately) What the *&%$# am I going to do?
God:
Me: (surprised) Really? After all those Sundays of being a back up singer for Jesus, you got nothing to say?
God:
Me: (humbly) Help me out here.
Lexis De Rothschild
#78. If life gives you lemons, find someone who's life gives them vodka and throw a party.
Kevin Ward
#79. I like vodka tonics and gin & tonics. I also like gimlets. I like things that have sweetness with a bit of a kick.
Lea Salonga
#80. I still drink vodka; I'm not an advocate of drinking, but I'm no angel. I don't like grass, because it just makes me hungry.
Calvin Klein
#81. [on having to lose weight] I thought I'll drink vodka instead of wine because it's less calories!
Sienna Miller
#82. Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate.
Gina Barreca
#83. Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.
P.G. Wodehouse
#84. A dry martini,' he said. 'One. In a deep champagne goblet.' ...
Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon-peel. Got it?
Ian Fleming
#85. Vodka goes well with a wintery perspective. Nothing else provokes such presentiments of falling snow except, for some, the communist seizure of the state.
Michele Bernstein
#86. Nah, Dad, I'm good. Please leave me in this hotel bedroom with my handsome boyfriend. And several of his relatives, and a very sharp weapon."
"Clearly I went badly wrong somewhere when raising you," said Dad. "Well, best to do down before Tomo gets into the vodka.
Sarah Rees Brennan
#87. Russia tried to introduce beer as kind of the new vodka - and it's working with younger people in major cities - but you can have ten shots of vodka and be perfectly okay. If I had ten beers, I would be liquidated.
Gary Shteyngart
#88. You cutting the lawn, fixing the machines,
all this leprous day and then more vodka,
more soda and the pond forgiving our bodies,
the pond sucking out the throb.
Anne Sexton
#89. A good sense of humour combined with
self-distance always make the world a better place. And my hundred-year-old, Allan Karlsson, would probably add a bottle of vodka to complete the picture.
Jonas Jonasson
#90. The key factor in the vodka category is smoothness, and smoothness is what our vodka has.
Fuzzy Zoeller
#91. That's right: Duff McKagan, king of beers, viscount of vodka, count of coke. Champion of the world. Asshole.
Duff McKagan
#92. I blew the lot on vodka and tonic, gambling and fags. Looking back, I think I overdid it on the tonic.
Stan Bowles
#93. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, she guzzled down the vodka in hopes that Hef would feel that urge to rescue her or care for her.
Holly Madison
#94. A hand of smoke took his hand, started him downward, if it was downward, showed him a centre, if it was a centre, put it in his stomach, where the vodka was softly making crystal bubbles, some sort of infinitely beautiful and desperate illusion which some time back he had called immortality.
Julio Cortazar
#95. If I had to think of what I would do different in my whole career, it's that I never would have picked up a beer, bottle of vodka. That definitely changed my life. That is an Achilles' heel for me.
Jayson Williams
#96. Vladimir leaned forward. Never dilute vodka. Is sin.
Jennifer Lane
#97. That's what my perfume would smell like, margarita and vodka.
Chelsea Handler
#100. Economists believe there are three reasons why the Russian economy is doing so poorly. One, economic sanctions are working. Number two, low-price oil. And number three, Lindsay Lohan has quit drinking vodka.
David Letterman
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