Quotes About Underpants

#1. What's the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see 'em?

Bill Watterson

#2. Working with Dav Pilkey was a dream come true. Dav is incredibly funny, and he's been a hero of mine for a long time. It was great bringing the 'Wimpy Kid' and 'Captain Underpants' worlds together!

Jeff Kinney

#3. I mean, if you were born with a Rubik's Cube in your underpants, you'd sure as hell figure out how to master it over time.

Ali Adler

#4. That she cried over the loss of a dog whose big claim to fame was that he could eat the crotch out of a pair of clean underpants in less than a minute?

Sarah-Kate Lynch

#5. About every six to eight months, I run into a man who astounds me sexually, but between escapades, I'm celibate, which I don't think is any big deal. After two unsuccessful marriages, I find myself keeping my guard up, along with my underpants.

Sue Grafton

#6. Darlin', he is so damn sexy that my underpants crawled all the way to my ankles.

Carolyn Brown

#7. You can always trust a man who tucks his shirt inside his underpants.

Bill Tidy

#8. And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head.

Terry Pratchett

#9. Let's not mince words: the inside of the Sydney casino looks as if Vegas had an illegitimate child with Liberace's underpants, and that child fell down a staircase and hit its head on the edge of a spade.

Steve Toltz

#10. By the power bestowed in me by the Ministry of Silly Underpants ...

Graham Chapman

#11. You should get those stretchy underpants all the gay porn stars are wearing these days and wear them instead of those blue Lycra-looking ones. They make all their dicks look huge."
"Because all their dicks are huge," I said. "They're called trophy briefs for a reason.

N.R. Walker

#12. Until Eve gave him the apple, Adam didn't even know he wasn't wearing underpants.

Paula Yates

#13. Life without sports is like life without underpants

Billy Bowden

#14. Mr. Blank's old friend is acting up again, and because our hero is no longer wearing the cotton trousers and underpants and is quite naked under the pajama bottoms, there is no barrier to prevent Mr. Bigshot from bounding out through the slit and poking his head into the light of day.

Paul Auster

#15. When an attractive but ALOOF ("cool") man comes along, there are some of us who offer to shine his shoes with our underpants. There are thousands of scientific concepts as to why this is so, and yes, yes, it's very sick but none of this helps.

Lynda Barry

#16. Poseidon's underpants! You can't be serious.

Rick Riordan

#17. In his work shirt and underpants, he looked powerful but also cartoonish, like a bear dressed up for a job interview.

David Sedaris

#18. I got dressed. You can't be Midnight Mayor in your underpants.

Kate Griffin

#19. The terrifying fear of a crash had triggered the fight-or-flight response in the child, making him burn a mule, but only he knew about it - thanks to his tight and reliable underpants.

Pawan Mishra

#20. It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific.

Tina Fey

#21. Thank God she wasn't still hanging out in her underpants.

Julie James

#22. I am a huge fan of big cotton underpants; they're comfortable. I wear them every day.

Gisele Bundchen

#23. Thus, hanging around in our towels (and those weird disposable underpants) was no big deal.

Ann Benjamin

#24. Susan was already rehearsing excuses in case she was caught: I just got my period and I was looking for a tissue to stuff in my underpants. Men didn't question menstruation stories. Ever. You could probably get into the White House if you said you needed a tampon ASAP.

Chelsea Cain

#25. The smell from the kitchen was getting stronger: It was something like burning underpants.

J.K. Rowling

#26. I went and met with Tim Burton for the role of Batman. But I just couldn't really take it seriously; any man who wears his underpants outside his pants just cannot be taken seriously.

Pierce Brosnan

#27. I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants

Chris Farley

#28. There's still a part of me that believes what was great about 'Doctor Who' in the early days was that you had a superhero who didn't wear his underpants on the outside of his trousers, who used his brain rather than his brawn.

Sylvester McCoy

#29. Calvin: ME TARZAN! KING OF JUNGLE!
Suzy: Nice underpants. Does your mom know you're over here like this?
Calvin: ... I don't think Jane EVER said that to Tarzan.

Bill Watterson

#30. People say, 'All my son will read is 'Captain Underpants,' or 'My son is crazy about shark books, is that O.K.?' I want to be the person to say, 'Yeah, that's really O.K., as long as he's motivated to want to read.'

Jon Scieszka

#31. Sex is one of the most interesting things we as humans have to play with, and we've reduced it to polyester underpants and implants. We are selling ourselves unbelievably short.

Ariel Levy

#32. It's a bad dream: my English teacher is standing naked at the foot of this slightly lumpy bed, clutching a pair of not-quite-white underpants in his hand, studying me with this creepy look on his face, the one he gets when he's reading aloud in class and wants us to think he's moved by the passage.

Tom Perrotta

#33. When you're dealing with someone who only has a pair of underpants on, if you take his underpants off, he has nothing left - he's naked. You're better off trying to find him a pair of trousers to complement him rather than change him.

Arsene Wenger

#34. She went at him like a nun briskly rubbing a pair of underpants against a washboard, full of pure vim and gusto. But no matter how sexless she tried to be, sex kept slipping in there anyway.

Charlotte Stein

#35. We are a breathtakingly alienated people ... One of my props is the world's largest underpants. I've had the president of Costa Rica in my underpants with me.

Patch Adams

#36. I created 'Captain Underpants' when I was in the second grade. I was constantly getting in trouble for being the class clown, so my teacher sent me out into the hallway to punish me. It was there in the hall that I began drawing 'Captain Underpants'. Soon I was making my own comic books about him.

Dav Pilkey

#37. We were running all over the front lawn and under the rainspouts, barefooted, in our underpants, with the rain pelting down, straight cold gray rain of Delta summers, wonderful rain. -Mexico

Ellen Gilchrist

#38. There is something very sad about an empty dressing room. It's like a discarded pair of underpants, which it resembles in a number of respects. It's seen a lot of activity. It may even have witnessed excitement and a whole gamut of human passions. And now there's nothing much left but a faint smell.

Terry Pratchett

#39. So now we can build an unselfish society by devoting to unselfishness the frenzy we once devoted to gold and to underpants.

Kurt Vonnegut

#40. It's like the Fouth of July in my underpants.

Adam Carolla

#41. He's getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I'm wearing Spider-Man underpants!

Cuthbert Soup

#42. Kudra was amused by Alobar's tentative polka until her eyes fell upon the tumescent protrusion dancing with him. Disgusting she thought. An erection is just inappropriate. Then she realized with a shock that she was so wet that children could have sailed toy boats in her underpants.

Tom Robbins

#43. Stirred with passion, laced with fun, spiked with laughter & served with a smile. On the road. No sugar, no milk. Horn OK Please. Buy my books or may the wrath of a thousand locusts infest your underpants *Smack!!*

Kartik Iyengar

#44. It has been a good while since 12:00 a.m. held much attraction for me beyond being a perfectly lovely time to be ensconced in the comfort of my own home, sitting in my underpants, contentedly worrying about something.

David Rakoff

#45. What sort of person," said Salzella patiently, "sits down and writes a maniacal laugh? And all those exclamation marks, you notice? Five? A sure sign of someone who wears his underpants on his head. Opera can do that to a man.

Terry Pratchett

#46. Underpants! Underpants!

Sophie Kinsella

#47. The way of the truthful-by-nature is as a bicycle race in a pair of sandpaper underpants, but William clung to an indisputable fact.

Terry Pratchett

#48. So what if she had to wear another woman's underpants. She'd live and the sun wouldn't stop coming up in the morning.

Carolyn Brown

#49. You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person's nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: "No, I'm a person. You can't fix my underpants on the subway."

Tina Fey

#50. We have $70 and a pair of girl's underpants. We're safe as kittens.

Anthony Michael Hall

#51. Randalf the Wise indeed!I've worn wiser pairs of underpants!

Paul Stewart

#52. Stoicism sure comes in handy when they take away your underpants.

Piper Kerman

#53. I am the boss of my underpants. You can be the boss of yours.

Ragen Chastain

#54. You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

Bill Watterson

#55. THERE ARE MEN OUT THERE HAVING SEX WITH BICYCLES. Men don't remotely care if you're wearing sexy underpants or not.

Caitlin Moran

#56. Have you read your UNDERPANTS today?

Dav Pilkey

#57. I'd practically groped her under the guise of helping her get out a stain, but still, she looked like she found me about as appealing as second-hand underpants.

L. H. Cosway

#58. There's something very comforting about watching a Hugh Grant movie. You know no one's head will be blown off in the first three minutes, no one will be tortured, and the worst thing that might happen is seeing a lanky Welshman eating mayonnaise in his underpants

Ali McNamara

#59. And it's bad enough to be caught in your underpants but even worse to be caught in your underpants scratching out a valium prescription on someone else's pad.

David Sedaris

#60. Lord of My Underpants," Liam Quinn.

Leisa Rayven

#61. Some men send me condoms and underpants. I'm not sure what they want.

Martine McCutcheon

#62. I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicrats for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

Matt Groening

#63. Another day, another pair of underpants.

Jo Huxster

#64. An eye-jangling assortment of spurious clan tartans, adorning every conceivable object made of fabric, from caps, neckties, and serviettes down to a particularly horrid yellow "Buchanan" sett used to make men's nylon Y-front underpants.

Diana Gabaldon

#65. It's important for a dancer to wear very tight underpants. I used to feel a bit exposed if I wasn't being held up in the right place.

Bruce Forsyth

#66. The full moon cast an eerie glow through thick ancient dark woods. In the shadows around a tree, the serial killer ran his knife lovingly over Chelsea's trussed dead body. She lay, as if posed for a photo, wearing only bloody pink underpants.

H. Raven Rose

#67. It used to take me forever to read and comprehend stuff, so I decided not to make the 'Captain Underpants' books too challenging. Don't get me wrong - the humor and ideas are often sophisticated - but the books aren't hard to read. I wanted kids who hate reading to find these books irresistible.

Dav Pilkey

#68. As you may well know by now, the Givers are mysterious, and love to speak in riddles. It's more annoying than having sand in your underpants ...

James Dashner

#69. It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers.

David Sedaris

#70. Be sure to leave your underpants with someone you can trust.

Jethro Tull

#71. Insanity depended on your point of view, he always said, and if it was the view through your own underpants then everything looked fine

Terry Pratchett

#72. Here's to our enduring sisterhood. May it bind us together more tightly that the Lycra in my Spanx underpants.

Susan McBride

#73. [Chucky] Ya peanut headed suckerfool!
Take me on!
Ya ugly knuckle butted dogface underpants!
You think I'm playin'?

Lynda Barry

#74. My big move was to get out of my underpants without snagging my foot and falling on my face.

Janet Evanovich

#75. Where's Vivian?" someone called from the hallway. I was pushed closer to the edge, almost caught with my underpants in my mouth and a finger in my ass. Fear buzzed and amplified the pleasure.

C.D. Reiss

#76. I see England,
I see France;
I see a little girl's
Underpants!

Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

#77. Yes I remember my sixteenth." Vitellius said "Wonderful omen! Happily chicken in my underpants."
"Excuse me.

Rick Riordan

#78. Bursar?"
"Yes, Archchancellor?"
"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"
"Me? No, Archchancellor."
"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.

Terry Pratchett

#79. Music is the shaman of my underpants.

A.J. Kaufmann

#80. When I went into the computer shop to change my last laptop, the 19-year-old kid behind the counter looked at my six-year-old model and described it as 'vintage.' 'Vintage?' I wanted to scream. 'Son, I've got shirts older than you! I own underpants that have seen more of the world!'

John Niven

#81. Your precious dirty underpants and scores of blades are untouched by me. But I'm not thick. I can actually see something dangerous and not poke myself in the eye with it.

Lauren Dane

#82. Has it ever struck you as odd that humans are the only creatures on the planet who wear clothes? Everything else, from aardvarks to zebras, is running around in its birthday suit, blissfully unclear of the concept of underpants. Why don't people do the same?

Linda Bender

#83. You wouldn't walk with your underpants stuck in your bottom, you'd adjust them. So don't treat life like ill-fitting wondering underpants, adjust it to be comfortable again

E.E.D. Horton

#84. People like you end up dead. One day they are roaming about in their underpants pretending to be Superman and the next day they are killed because they jump off their roof thinking that they can fly!

Abhik Chatterjee

#85. I started a band because I actually thought I could be Bon Jovi, and now here I am, sitting in a puddle of sludge in an abandoned car park with a bloody nose and soggy underpants, covered in sick.

Christopher Russell

#86. You may have even commented on the surprising inappropriateness of such a murderous and bloody scene appearing in a children's book. It's fun to feel offended, isn't it?

Dav Pilkey

#87. Batman doesn't have to put up with this shit
why should we?

Caitlin Moran