Top 100 Quotes About Toilets
#1. I must break out ...
... start a new life ...
been here for years ...
might be getting into a rut ...
something a bit more exciting ...
more adventurous ...
something with more of a challenge ...
There's not much opportunity for self-advancement in toilets ...
Raymond Briggs
#2. If I accepted, Edmund would be our vampire servant." "Come to think of it, that sounds all kinds-a classy. He could clean our toilets. See you soon, babe.
Faith Hunter
#3. When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.'
Dylan Moran
#4. (his house at Stowe, in Buckinghamshire, had nine of the first flush toilets in England),
Bill Bryson
#5. Growing up, I had a front row seat to seeing two people work really hard. My dad scrubbed toilets at a private Catholic school for a while, and that was to help me get through school.
Mia Love
#6. We have successfully achieved the target of building toilets in schools.
Narendra Modi
#7. When you say you're not a feminist, if feminism hadn't existed, and you didn't live in a feminist world, you wouldn't be saying that, because you'd be too busy scrubbing out the toilets in back while cooking up your husband's tea and dying in childbirth at the age of 34.
Caitlin Moran
#9. I was used to getting changed in pub toilets before going on set. Then suddenly I had studios in L.A. advising me on my hair.
Harry Treadaway
#10. So if he'd been a plumber, _ _ would've been about toilets?
Left blank to avoid spoilers but this is just too funny
Jeri Smith-Ready
#11. I talk about freedom from the Rat Race, and they focus on toilets. That is the thought pattern that keeps most people poor. They criticize instead of analyze.
Robert T. Kiyosaki
#12. And it makes you wonder - how can a people incapable of selecting their own lightbulbs and toilets possess enough competence to vote for their own rulers and fill out complicated tax returns?
Mark R. Levin
#13. You kids today don't understand. You go into the stalls, and you sit on the toilets, and you read your comic books. But you never think about the brave cleaning supplies that gave their lives so you could have a safe place to do your business.
Beth Labonte
#14. You can't tell what's aboard a container ship. We carried every kind of cargo, all of it on view: a police car, penicillin, Johnnie Walker Red, toilets, handguns, lumber, Ping-Pong balls, and IBM data cards.
Christopher Buckley
#15. Girl scrubs your toilets for twenty-three years, you begrudge her the life she had when you weren't around.
Lauren Groff
#16. I think women are really vicious in the work place, they're really jealous, really competitive. Women are emotional, they cry in toilets. The sisterhood only extends as far as the kitchen door. Men talk in logic and rational terms, they don't squark and make a noise.
Katie Hopkins
#17. Well, MacKenzie, YOU'RE the expert on toilets! It's only 8:00 a.m. and your BRAIN is completely CONSTIPATED while your MOUTH has a severe case of DIARRHEA! Please, go FLUSH!
Rachel Renee Russell
#18. I'm a girl who always looks at toilets and thinks Wow, how do we waste that much water when there are people who don't even have water?
Alysia Reiner
#19. We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success.
Mike Peters
#20. Trout said this about all the stories he had torn to pieces and flushed down toilets or tossed into trash-strewn vacant lots, or whatever: 'Easy come, easy go.
Kurt Vonnegut
#21. Tonight the city is full of morgues, and all the toilets are overflowing. There's shopping malls coming out of the walls, as we walk out among the manure. That's why I pay no mind.
Beck
#22. WHEN SHE RECOUNTED her dream for Percy, the ship's toilets exploded.
Rick Riordan
#23. My favorite affirmation when I feel stuck or out of sorts is: Whatever I need is already here, and it is all for my highest good. Jot this down and post it conspicuously throughout your home, on the dashboard of your car, at your office, on your microwave oven, and even in front of your toilets!
Wayne Dyer
#24. Nobody should have to clean up what goes on around the base of most toilets.
T. Cooper
#25. During the 1970s and 1980s, Congress distributed more than $60 billion to cities to make sure that what goes into toilets, industrial drains and street grates would not endanger human health.
Charles Duhigg
#26. All through life there were distinctions - toilets for men, toilets for women; clothes for men, clothes for women - then, at the end, the graves are identical.
Leila Aboulela
#27. I won't eat in a restaurant with filthy bathrooms. This isn't a hard call. They let you see the bathrooms. If the restaurant can't be bothered to replace the puck in the urinal or keep the toilets and floors clean, then just imagine what their refrigeration and work spaces look like.
Anthony Bourdain
#28. There is nothing like scrubbing toilets for a living to make you question the choices you have made in life.
Raegan Butcher
#29. My name is only an anagram of toilets.
T. S. Eliot
#30. If free trade can really turn all these Third World countries into thriving economies full of entrepreneurs and investors, who's gonna clean the fuckin' toilets around here?
George Carlin
#31. No organization works if the toilets don't work, but I don't believe that finding solutions to business problems is my job.
James G. March
#32. Whathat!" Tyson gasped. "Those are the stables for the pegasi," I replied, "You know, winged horses?" "Whasthat!" "Um ... those are the toilets.
Rick Riordan
#33. Nature's a funny old thing, it does whatever it pleases. He had always been a little afraid of it. He tiptoed into forests, speaking in a whisper, as though entering a church. Nature was mysterious, incomprehensible, impenetrable, off limits, like the ladies' toilets.
Pascal Garnier
#34. There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea, listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"
Dave Barry
#35. Writers often have the cleanest windows, floors, fridges and toilets, the most up-to-date filing system or the best record for returning calls or e-mails because, in the moment, just about any task seems more palatable than sitting down to write." (p.136)
Mark David Gerson
#36. There are some things people see in toilets that they wish they hadn't. What Trevor Hawkins sees might even cost him his life.
Rob Johnson
#37. The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
Ronnie Barker
#38. She's nothing more than a pathetic, little half-blood," the ancient woman had continued. "I say send her to the Masters. I'm in need of a little girl to clean my toilets."
Then she had twisted her fingers cruelly.
And I had kicked her shin.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#39. When I'm meant to be standing in the wings, the only way to go is the ladies' toilets. It's the only time I've ever acted in the toilets.
Patrick Stewart
#40. Unfortunately life has a way of sidetracking one's greatest ambitions. Painters, would-be artists, end up whitewashing walls. Sculptors are forced to design toilets. Writers become critics or publicists. Archaeologists, like myself, can become gravediggers.
Salman Rushdie
#41. Cleanliness and sanitation were closest to Gandhiji's heart. We will launch a 'Clean India' campaign and by Gandhiji's 150th birth anniversary, all schools in the country should have toilets with separate toilets for girls.
Narendra Modi
#42. When you look at the actual data on technological innovation, one thing you see is that what I call the 'low-hanging fruit' has been exhausted. So radio, flush toilets, electricity, and automobiles - a lot of very basic inventions - have spread to almost all households.
Tyler Cowen
#43. Let me speak frankly: separate but equal is a fraud. It is the language that tried to push Rosa Parks to the back of the bus. It is the motif that determined that black and white people could not possibly drink from the same water fountain, eat at the same table or use the same toilets.
David Lammy
#44. She remembered Scott saying that people shouldn't be allowed houses with more than two toilets to shit in, it gives them delusions of grandeur.
Stephen King
#46. An OBE is what you get if you clean the toilets well at King's Cross station.
Michael Winner
#47. Clean water is only as far away as the nearest tap, and there are taps everywhere. There's a faucet everywhere. But the reality is, the water in our toilets is cleaner than the water that most people are drinking.
Matt Damon
#48. Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.
Joey Bishop
#49. I'd made water shoot out of the bathroom fixtures. I didn't understand how. But the toilets responded to me. I had become one with the plumbing.
Rick Riordan
#50. I am a big fan of long drop, composting toilets - I like the cycle of using waste. When you have experienced one and seen what comes out of the bottom, it is amazing stuff. It's the most beautiful, driest, sweet-smelling compost.
Kevin McCloud
#51. We built everything - toilets included. I think those islands in the middle of nowhere are quite poetic. It's kind of an Oriental Atlantis.
Karl Lagerfeld
#52. I've found that it's actually more of a disability to be tall than short. I have no problem fitting into plane toilets etc, and the adaptations made for wheelchair users - such as the lowering of bank machines - work for me as well.
Warwick Davis
#53. The bearded creatures are quite as eager for praise, quite as finikin over their toilets, quite as proud of their personal advantages, quite as conscious of their powers of fascination, as any coquette in the world.
William Makepeace Thackeray
#54. I tell myself that's what you get when you put thirty-one toilets on the most popular girl's front yard. People tend to treat you a little differently than before.
Kathryn Stockett
#55. 2.6 billion people live without toilets, and 1.6 billion without electricity. How is this possible?, you might ask. And that is a very good question.
Neale Donald Walsch
#56. The train resembles the Soviet type and is quite comfortable, but all socialist structures I have ever encountered have toilets stemming from a single model engineered by the Orthodox Church in Tsarist Russia to ensure that man never be allowed to forget the corruption of the flesh.
Arthur Miller
#57. If life is a meal, then diaries are the toilets in which we shit out its vile remnants.
Sarah Silverman
#58. The Universe is picking us off one by one. Yesterday part of the poop deck went, and with it all the toilets.
Stanislaw Lem
#59. I'm here with Howard Millar and Michael Cawley, our two deputy chief executives. But they're presently making love in the gentleman's toilets, such is their excitement at today's results.
Michael O'Leary
#60. Public toilets have a duty to be accessible, poetry does not.
Geoffrey Hill
#61. I used to always sit in church looking out the windows at the boys, wondering if I could make an excuse to go out and, you know, go to the bathroom because all the outdoor toilets. But anyhow, I was only going out to see the boys.
Dolly Parton
#62. Why do I continue making movies? Making movies is better than cleaning toilets.
Klaus Kinski
#63. Where do you get lumpy tiles? Well, of course, you don't. But I get a lot of toilets, and so you just dispatch a toilet with a hammer, and then you have lumpy tiles.
Dan Phillips
#64. from the head honcho to the person who scraped shit from the toilets. He always saw the individual person rather than the job. There were only two types of people that mattered for Tom. Good guys and wanks. That was the only measure he took of anyone.
Mark Wilson
#65. There is something reassuring about the toilets. Bodily functions at least remain democratic. Everybody shits.
Margaret Atwood
#66. People can deal with almost anything when their toilets flush.
Lana Krumwiede
#67. The Australian backyard was once built for tradesmen and outdoor toilets. As suburbs spread, it became a playground and source of pride ...
Pete Munro
#69. The guy had literally been through hell and back. Even when he wasn't trying, he made the toilets explode. What would Percy be like if he wanted to act scary?
Rick Riordan
#70. I was a maid, so cleaning toilets wasn't my favorite thing, but honestly, standing outside all day in the cold was worse.
Kristin Bauer Van Straten
#71. But now that I'm scrubbing
toilets on my hands & knees,
with four degrees,
I realize that one escape route
leads to another
Phil Volatile
#72. I think toilets are more important than temples. No matter how many temples we go to, we are not going to get salvation. We need to give priority to toilets and cleanliness.
Jairam Ramesh
#73. Schools across India do not have teachers, libraries, playing grounds and even toilets. I do not want to see empty classrooms, empty libraries. I do not want to see cattle grazing on fields meant to be cricket or football grounds.
Sachin Tendulkar
#74. Why are there no windows in the toilets on aeroplanes? To protect you from the most dedicated perverts on the planet, hanging off the wing to get a peep?
Billy Connolly
#75. No matter how cultured or ancient the civilization, no average American is going to condone the absence of flush toilets. Not now, not ever.
T.R. Fehrenbach
#76. By contrast, no one in Alphinland ever demanded a blowjob. But then, no one in Alphinland had a toilet either. Toilets weren't necessary. Why waste time on that kind of routine bodily function when there were giant scorpions invading the castle?
Margaret Atwood
#77. When someone's rattling on about blocked toilets, collapsing marquees, and penis-shaped birthday cakes, it's hard to convince yourself that you're in a life-or-death situation.
Catherine Jinks
#78. I have requested the corporates to evolve plans under corporate social responsibility to build clean toilets specially for girl students in schools. India should learn from foreign countries, where people are disciplined and do not litter in public places.
Narendra Modi
#79. I understand toilets were not yet invented when you were born, but is it really so hard to put the seat down?
Christy Gissendaner
#80. To tell a group of adolescents who already know how to speak and write that that is the purpose of grammar is like telling someone that they need to read a history of toilets through the ages in order to pee and poop.
Muriel Barbery
#81. The games haven't even started yet and already there are people complaining about the horrible accommodations at the Sochi Olympic village. Toilets don't flush. The faucets spew discolored water. They say it's like being on a Royal Caribbean cruise.
Jay Leno
#82. I'm almost afraid to tell you. Let's put it this way: clean toilets are the least of your problems in this country.
Elle Lothlorien
#83. I've been on sets where the turnaround is so fast and the budget so small that the actors have been asked to speed things up and save money by changing in the public toilets. There's no room for vanity at times like that. It's the best way: get on with it!
Anna Friel
#84. I think up to a point people's characters depend on the toilets they have to shut themselves up in every day. You get home from the office and you find the toilet green with mould, marshy: so you smash a plate of peas in the passage and you shut yourself in your room and scream.
Italo Calvino
#85. I did an internship at the Ardent theatre company in Philly after dropping out of college. I was earning $165 a week building sets and cleaning the toilets. Cleaning toilets is a good way of getting in touch with your creativity. That's when you find out if you got anything going on in your head.
Jill Scott
#86. If they had told me I was the janitor and would have to mop up and clean the toilets after the show in order to play, I probably would have done it.
Bruce Springsteen
#87. As education and employment secretary in 1997, I inherited hundreds of schools where the roofs leaked, the windows rattled, and they relied entirely on outside toilets.
David Blunkett
#88. I'm cleaning toilets for $30 a day, because I needed that $30, and people are pointing at me, saying, Look at the big movie star. Look where he is now. I just said, I'm where God put me.
Willie Aames
#89. This. I live in this place, make porridge, scrub toilets, do laundry, and for days, weeks, I am brave and I do get out of bed and I think on this. I study this, the full life, the being fully ready for the end. I start to think that maybe there is a way out of nightmares to dreams? Maybe?
Ann Voskamp
#90. That's what I imagined, a giant game park with comfortable lodges and roads. At a minimum, roads. According to the website, there'd be "bush camping" involved, but I pictured lovely big tents with showers and flush toilets. I didn't think I'd be paying for the privilege of squatting in the bushes.
Tess Gerritsen
#91. He glanced over to the stage, where a nearly naked woman gyrated lifelessly around the pole. She could've been cleaning toilets for all the enthusiasm she showed.
Joanna Wylde
#92. When we got together we would start projects: an alarm clock torn apart and distributed over a wall, a stop-motion video of Lego people having sex, a Web site for pictures of toilets.
Ned Vizzini
#93. Almost 4.25 lakh toilets were built in 2.62 schools nationwide in one year; this gives self-confidence that we can do what we want.
Narendra Modi
#94. Like many toilets in Goa, it was nothing more than a smooth, steep slope behind the squatting keyhole. Waste matter rolled down the slope to a narrow lane. Wild, hairy, black Goan pigs roamed the lanes, eating the waste.
Gregory David Roberts
#95. She hated using airplane toilets. She was always afraid the plane would choose the exact moment she was most defenseless to crash, and she'd spend her final seconds of life spiraling toward earth with her bottom bare to the world.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
#96. Art is too popular. If plumbing was as popular as art is we would have amateur plumbers running around brandishing wrenches and Roto-Rooters, climbing in and out of sewers and writing gibberish about pipe systems. And none of our our toilets would work.
Walter Darby Bannard
#97. British flight attendants warn you not to tamper with the smoke detectors in the aircraft toilets, whereas American flight attendants warn you not to tamper with, disable or destroy them.
Terry Eagleton
#98. I can install toilets. I know all about the wax ring. I can tile floors. I'm learning how to do basic wiring.
Sandra Bullock
#99. Is it possible that my sons-in-law will do toilets? If we raise boys to know that diapers need to be changed and refrigerators need to be cleaned, there's hope for the next generation.
Anne Roiphe
#100. I never think about themes. I let the music create itself. I like it to be a potpourri of all kinds of sounds, all kinds of colors, something for everybody, from the farmer in Ireland to the lady who scrubs toilets in Harlem.
Michael Jackson
