Peter Kay Quotes

#1. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Peter Kay

#2. Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

Peter Kay

#3. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

Peter Kay

#4. I might be collecting wheely bins in 12 months time but at least they'll be wheely bins outside back gates that I know, in a part of the country that I love. There's no place like home!

Peter Kay

#5. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?

Peter Kay

#6. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

Peter Kay

#7. Garlic bread, it's the future, I've tasted it

Peter Kay

#8. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when your hand or head is stuck in something.

Peter Kay

#9. I'm not homophobic. I'm not scared of my house.

Peter Kay

#10. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

Peter Kay

#11. Amarillio, just turn to the left and 500 yards down

Peter Kay

#12. The most painful household accident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

Peter Kay

#13. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

Peter Kay

#14. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Peter Kay

#15. You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks? I swear now, you never get used to that.

Peter Kay

#16. You never know where to look when eating a banana.

Peter Kay

#17. The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.

Peter Kay

#18. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Peter Kay

#19. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Peter Kay

#20. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

Peter Kay

#21. Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

Peter Kay