Top 33 Drew Magary Quotes
#1. Take any two-year-old through a car wash and their skulls are blown. FLAPS! FOAM! ROLLING THINGS! It's the closest they'll ever get to being inside a working spaceship.
Drew Magary
#2. Once they've borne children, mothers can construct virtually any costume using scissors, felt, Elmer's glue, and a leftover pen spring. They're like the Special Forces of crafts.
Drew Magary
#3. I think it's the next thing, getting out of the comfort-zone readership, that at some point you have to try and break out of that and see if you can go in new directions. I wanted to do something that felt a lot bigger than a book that's going to sit on a toilet.
Drew Magary
#4. This future you live in . . . would I like it?" "Honestly, it's probably not that different from the world you know. Some people are happy. Some people are angry. There are wars. I don't know if time makes much of a difference. The world changes, but people act the way people always do.
Drew Magary
#5. You'll paint some nursery and the kid will want to sleep in a drawer.
Drew Magary
#6. I don't know how a culture is going to evolve, but I think the way the Internet works now is, people go to the Internet to laugh and have a good time. That's why Tumblr feeds and I Can Has Cheezburger and memes get thrown into the blender with real news and sports news and politics and that stuff.
Drew Magary
#7. Death is the only thing keeping us in line.
Drew Magary
#8. With toilet books, people don't review them that much. They don't really pay much attention to them. It's just like, "Oh, okay. I'll put this in your stocking."
Drew Magary
#9. She kept silent for fifty miles as he looked out his window at the last gasps of fall in the distant hills - pretty red and yellow swaths of foliage surrounded by sad patches of gray, like an unfinished oil painting.
Drew Magary
#10. It's a fact that every minute you hold a child, it triples in mass.
Drew Magary
#11. I think I liked writing a novel better. Obviously, it's more rewarding. It's that marathon thing where it sucks when you're doing it, but you're proud of yourself at the end, and you've done it, and at the very least, nobody can take that away from you.
Drew Magary
#12. You need to be funny in a way that people feel like you're trying to make a deeper connection. So that's what I try to do.
Drew Magary
#13. Most of us are good. Most of us mean well. But we somehow manage to hurt each other anyway. Don't ask me why.
Drew Magary
#15. I occasionally get glimpses, but I have to reprioritize, because that's how it naturally progresses - things like family, responsibilities, and your job all take precedent.
Drew Magary
#16. We talked, and I ate, and for the first time, Katy's death moved to the back of my consciousness, if only for a moment. This is bereavement: the slow, eventual reassertion of your own meaningless preoccupations. As
Drew Magary
#17. When you're 18, when you're at college, sports can be your life. You can watch every baseball game, every college basketball game, every football game. Once you have a family and kids, you can't do that anymore.
Drew Magary
#18. This is your life and the afterlife merged together in one perfect, endless existence.
Drew Magary
#19. We now live in a world where I think many people walk around asking themselves , do other people matter? Does the rest of the world mean anything to me? Or is all that matters this very small world of friends and family and colleagues that I've constructed for myself?
Drew Magary
#20. Go to sleep, Crab."
"I don't sleep. I'm a crab. I only lie dormant."
"Why don't you sleep?"
"Because things will kill me if I do. I need to be in a state of constant awareness. Even if you think I'm sleeping, I'm not. I'm saving my energy so that I can fuck you up. Heads up 24/7.
Drew Magary
#21. She crossed her legs and kicked out her feet, clad in thick wool socks and boots big enough to house a little old lady.
Drew Magary
#22. For every hour a mother gets to herself, a father will demand five times that amount for drinking with friends and acting like an immature dipshit.
Drew Magary
#23. My favorite part of the party is when the party is over. When I don't feel obligated to have a good time, and I can just sit and chill with whoever's left to chill with, you know?
Drew Magary
#24. I've hated cockroaches my entire life.Tweeting jokes about it helps me cope, in a way. I'm not as jumpy killing cave crickets as I used to be. I still jump plenty though.
Drew Magary
#25. At 1 A.M. a parking garage feels like a crime scene in waiting.
Drew Magary
#26. You always worry and you always fear what's next. But you eventually just push forward knowing you can't really do much about getting rid of the anxiety. You see people get pets after their kids leave the house because they're so used to having something around to dote on and worry about.
Drew Magary
#27. I wanted to write a book that maybe had the potential to go beyond the Deadspin and KSK [Kissing Suzy Kolber] readership.
Drew Magary
#28. I took time in the day to write as much of the book as I possibly could. I didn't write too much at night, because I don't like to - I'd rather watch TV.
Drew Magary
#29. When a teacher is paying extra attention to your child, you believe that it's because you raised such an exceptional kid, one that stands out head and shoulders above the rest of her booger-eating friends.
Drew Magary
#30. Every book was a door; every page a new place to hide.
Drew Magary
#31. I know I still had to take money from my parents, because no one can afford to live in Manhattan, not even the rich people.
Drew Magary
#32. I've always found that the best things I've ever written, or the things I like the most that I've written, are things where it's a pure idea, and you just follow it and put it down and see if it works.
Drew Magary
#33. But everything's always been fucked up. Since the dawn of time. That's why people find each other. For comfort. For shelter. They find their own little crevice in the world, shielded from all the horror.
Drew Magary
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