Top 100 Quotes About Sarcastic
#1. I thought I could make a sarcastic joke about it. But it's based on my own struggle with how much to give, how much it's really helping or not, and how foolish or not I feel. Giving sometimes backfires ...
Nicole Holofcener
#2. The sarcastic little know-it-all needs help, does he?
John Flanagan
#3. The service in L.A. is the best. You don't get sarcastic, surly, fed-up waiters and waitresses like you do in England. They're good at their job and they're there for the customer. The only depressing thing is a lot of them have written more screenplays than me.
Ricky Gervais
#4. Some of us are looking at the stars, but all of us are living in the gutter.
Vann Chow
#5. You take the lies out of him, and he'll shrink to the size of your hat; you take the malice out of him, and he'll disappear.
Mark Twain
#7. Manuel will show you to your rooms - if you're lucky.
John Cleese
#8. It's not because John McCain doesn't care. It's because John McCain doesn't get it.
Barack Obama
#9. We went to Mexico, had some tequlia, eloped with a pair of drug smugglers, and took part-time jobs as exotic dancers. You know, same old, same old.
Jennifer Lynn Barnes
#10. EVANGELIST, n. A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.
Ambrose Bierce
#11. His face is livid, gaunt his whole body, his breath is green with gall; his tongue drips poison.
John Quincy Adams
#13. I appreciate thieves who do their research, but at least you recognize worth when you see it.
M.L. LeGette
#14. CALVIN:
Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.
Bill Watterson
#15. She has been kissed as often as a police-court Bible, and by much the same class of people.
Robertson Davies
#16. She was a sarcastic bitch and when she was pissed off the sarcasm took on a life of it's own.
Suzanne Wrightt
#17. No, Groucho is not my real name. I am breaking it in for a friend.
Groucho Marx
#18. My mom was sarcastic about men. She would tell me Adam was the rough draft and Eve was the final product. She was a feminist minister, an earth mom who wore a bra only on Sundays.
Daphne Zuniga
#19. Everyone knows what a hypocrite is. That's the guy who gripes about the sex, violence and nudity on his VCR.
Zig Ziglar
#20. You're one of those people who fall off a tree and never quite reach the ground.
Carlos Ruiz Zafon
#21. Really?"
"No. I'm being ironic. Or is it sarcastic? I can never remember."
"Irony's cleverer, so you're probably being sarcastic.
Jonathan Stroud
#22. I don't fancy myself as a very sarcastic person in real life.
Reggie Lee
#23. So, you're telling me the zoo commissioned you to make a zombie panda in order to avoid a potential international incident.
Lish McBride
#24. In my deepest parts of sadness, I'm always making a joke or being sarcastic.
Lea Thompson
#25. I can't go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
Jerry Seinfeld
#26. Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there.
Kira Peikoff
#27. It's a sort of piss-take on culture, because a drag queen is a clown - a parody of our society. It's a sarcastic spoof on culture, which allows us to laugh at ourselves - but in a way that is inclusive of everyone.
RuPaul
#28. No, and I don't like mornin' people... or mornin's... or people."
"Wow, I'm a lucky guy to have you, baby."
Sarcastic pig!
L.A. Casey
#29. ...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands.
K.R. Grace
#30. Yes, you'd make a great partner for him. What with the embezzling and the adultery and the drinking. That's what every man wants in a wife - a vaguely alcoholic, fornicating thief.
Eleanor Brown
#31. The cleanest civilization I've ever seen ... and the number one thing you pack for a wedding is a jar of dirt?
M.A. George
#32. I'm totally an East Coast person, energetic and sarcastic. I'm not a nice L.A. person.
Diane Warren
#33. You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.
P. J. O'Rourke
#34. So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name.
Alan Bennett
#36. We're weird guys. I don't know if a lot of people get our humor. A lot of people probably think we're jerks. We're real sarcastic. Really ironic and stuff. We mean well, but we joke around probably a lot more than we should.
Brendon Urie
#37. Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?
Russell Lynes
#38. It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half.
Jess C. Scott
#39. There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden's brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.
Courtney Kirchoff
#40. It pains me to admit this, but Roger was a good sight less stupid than most children.
Heidi Schulz
#41. Scotland: That garret of the earth - that knuckle-end of England - that land of Calvin, oatcakes, and sulfur.
Sydney Smith
#42. He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
John Ruskin
#43. His voice was the most obnoxious squeak I ever was tormented with.
Charles Lamb
#44. A lot of people are alive because I shed too much hair to get away with murder.
Darynda Jones
#45. Don't get smart or sarcastic
He snaps back just like elastic
Spare us the theatrics and the verbal gymnastics
We break wise guys just like matchsticks
Elvis Costello
#47. She resembles the Venus de Milo: she is very old, has no teeth, and has white spots on her yellow skin.
Heinrich Heine
#48. The cat looked as if it were about to say something sarcastic. Then it flicked its whiskers and said, Challenge her. There's no guarantee she'll play fair, but her kind of thing loves games and challenges.
Neil Gaiman
#51. When did you last see her?" "Twenty-four hours ago." Kenny's pretend frown barely hid the beginning of a sarcastic grin. "That's a really long time." Jett knew
J.C. Reed
#52. I've got everything I need right here." That sentimental thought met a room full of cheesy and sarcastic "aw's" and an empty water bottle thrown at my head. No, stop guys, really. You're embarrassing me.
Rachel Higginson
#53. For hearts that are kindly, with virtue and peace, and not seeking blindly a hoard to increase; for those who are grieving o'er life's sordid plan; for souls still believing in heaven and man; for homes that are lowly with love at the board; for things th
Walter Mason Camp
#54. The waiter smiled a polite little waiter's smile. He had almost exhausted his polite little waiter repertoire and would soon be slipping into his role of a rather tight-lipped and sarcastic little waiter.
Douglas Adams
#55. The English have a miraculous power of turning wine into water.
Oscar Wilde
#56. As I said, this was my sarcastic summer. It was only long after that I recognized sarcasm as the protest of people who are weak.
John Knowles
#57. This is what happened in love. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.
Lorrie Moore
#58. I don't need a hero. I was blessed with a large amount of common sense, which is of infinitely more use than a man.
Karen Hawkins
#60. I have only one ambition left: I should like to have a good epitaph.
Otto Von Bismarck
#61. It's not that we have more patience as we grow older, it's just that we're too tired to care about all the pointless drama
Karen Gibbs
#62. If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor.
Julie Kagawa
#63. The world is cynical and sarcastic, but that doesn't mean that that's always the truth.
Patrick Ness
#64. He must have had a magnificent build before his stomach went in for a career of its own.
Margaret Halsey
#65. Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship.
Christine Warren
#66. [Albert] Schweitzer thus carved out his own path through the first half of this century, a lonely and learned giant amidst the hordes of noisy and shallow theological pygmies.
N. T. Wright
#70. Why do people who so obviously hate children have so many of them? Audrey asked...Because they hate everyone else more. Their bratty kids are their revenge on a society that has denied them the riches they so rightly deserve.
Shaun David Hutchinson
#71. I paused for a moment, debating whether to turn and look what was happening. My senses told me Obo's presence was still at my side, and turning my face into the barrel of a gun seemed like an ill-advised way to cap off this day of monumentally stupid decisions.
M.A. George
#72. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Or, as it's known to Native Americans - Sarcastic You're Welcomesgiving.
Stephen Colbert
#73. The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples.
Valerie Solanas
#74. Perfect! Now we're being chased by hoards of monkeys! Perhaps you would care to name their species as we're attacked, just so I can appreciate the special traits of said monkey as it kills me!"
"At least when the monkeys are harassing you, you dont have any time to harass me!
Colleen Houck
#75. She spends her day powdering her face till she looks like a bled pig.
Margot Asquith
#76. He has such a patronizing tone and manner, and such a sarcastic sense of humor. I found him rather brutal, a kind of elegant brutality which appealed. No, I think he came pretty much off the page.
Jeremy Northam
#77. I'm fine, considering I can't walk anymore," Pam replied, a sarcastic edge in her voice. "You look like your bringing news. What is it this time, I'm blind?
C.B. Cook
#78. Aw, now look at that, you're being sarcastic, aren't you?
Alyson Noel
#80. Just because the kid's cute, doesn't mean you're not the father.
Will Smith
#81. If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.
Meghan Apriceno Carr
#82. Is it really you this time, Kells?"
"Well, I'm no maggoty corpse, if that's what you mean."
He grinned. "That's a relief. No maggoty corpse would be that sarcastic.
Colleen Houck
#83. You flunked out of Being a Human 101 but aced Assholery III? The sarcastic sneer on her lovely lips was sexy as fuck and I couldn't help laughing at the witty comeback.
Raine Miller
#84. Character is what someone does, much more than who they are. I can be sarcastic or I can be fearful, but it doesn't really matter until there's a story - until someone comes in and holds us hostage.
Mitchell Hurwitz
#85. So what's it to be, Bear?"
Dev lifted his leg and gave a sarcastic slap to his thigh.
"By golly, I'll take door number two, Bob. You know the one that calls for straight suicide with a side of mutilation and pain? Sign my hairy ass up for that and don't be late.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#87. Oscar Wilde always makes me smile - with respect and admiration. His short stories prove that it is possible to be both sarcastic, even cynical, but deeply compassionate. Just seeing the cover of one of Wilde's books in a bookshop makes me smile.
Orhan Pamuk
#88. Yes.' He drank it all down and then casually threw the glass at the fireplace. I stared at the fragments. 'You don't mind, do you?' He gestured to the broken glass with a sarcastic smile. 'I surely hope you don't, because there's nothing much you can do about it if you do mind.
Anne Rice
#90. Trying to make her angry is like trying to find a corner on a bowling ball.
Craig McLay
#91. The lyrics were my sarcastic way of realizing you can't be the king of the hill all the time.
Hayley Williams
#92. You know, when most girls say they want a big rock, they don't mean, you know, literally a big rock."
"Very amusing, my sarcastic friend. It's not a rock, precisely. All Shadowhunters have a witchlight rune-stone.
Cassandra Clare
#93. I suppose there are a lot of reasons to be jaded or sarcastic or bitter in life, but I hang on to the reasons why life is beautiful.
Kelli O'Hara
#94. I was never very good at being an unemployed actor. I always thought that I should have been doing something pro-active. I was never good at doing juvenile leads. I suppose it's because I have this big sarcastic head on me.
Deirdre O'Kane
#95. However, it is always nice to be expected, and not to arrive.
Oscar Wilde
#96. I know that there are several people in my life that I love that probably have no idea, but there are plenty of people I love that have been the subject of a "well-placed" sarcastic comment.
Will Walker
#97. Wow, he's alive." I wasn't being sarcastic. I truly was surprised that the girls hadn't turned Dalmai into angelic hamburger. "We figured you might want to interrogate him then throw him into Hel with the other one.
Debra Dunbar
#98. Too young,too young,she chanted to herself.
Wrong,of course.
I was older than her grandfather but according to my driver's license,she was right.
Stephenie Meyer
#99. Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.
Alan Bennett
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