Top 100 Quotes About Pissing
#1. On the most Scottish thing he'd ever seen: I was going through a town called Bathgate at around 11 o'clock at night. And there was a guy leaning and pissing against a front door. He then took out his keys and went inside.
Frankie Boyle
#2. His grin turns boyish. Assuming you don't clock an angel for pissing you off.
Susan Ee
#3. In most groups the craziest person is in control. It starts because no one wants the problems that come from pissing off a crazy person. It's just smarter and easier sometimes to let the crazy person have his or her way.
Scott Adams
#4. Lesson one, bitch. Don't start a pissing contest with someone who has the strength and temper to hurt you.
Anne Bishop
#5. Are you up? Dressing? (Astrid)
No. I'm pissing on your rug. What do you think I'm doing? (Zarek)
I'm blind. For all I know you really are peeing on my rug, which is a very nice rug incidentally, so I hope you're kidding. (Astrid)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#6. If the coyote's in your living room pissing on your couch, it's not the coyote's fault. It's your fault for not shooting him.
Ted Nugent
#7. Finn."
"Victor."
"Awkward." I looked at both their faces but neither seemed to really notice I was there. The second pissing for distance contest began.
You were going to ask him!
Michelle Flick
#8. That macho protective bullshit is just some asshat man pissing on his territory so the other dogs will stay away.
Tammara Webber
#9. Can it be out of discretion, and a reluctance to hurt, that they affect to be unaware of my existence? But this is a refinement of feeling which can hardly be attributed to the dogs that come pissing against my abode, apparently never doubting that it contains some flesh and bones.
Samuel Beckett
#10. When Anderson walks into a room, you can hear a rat pissing on cotton.
Chael Sonnen
#11. The majestic equality of the law forbids rich and poor alike from pissing in the streets, sleeping under bridges, and stealing bread.
Anatole France
#12. Socrates was likewise right that pissing people off is how we first, and maybe best, go about the business of provoking thought.
Mark Kingwell
#13. The guy I've never worked with that is pissing me off is Tom Hanks. I want to work with Tom Hanks more than anyone.
Peter Farrelly
#15. There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway.
Tammy Blackwell
#16. Crying was like pissing everything out on the ground.
Stephen King
#17. As accurate as a blind man pissing during an earthquake."
"Wow ... ," I breathed.
She frowned at me.
"That was a great metaphor," I said.
"Oh please."
"I need to write that down," I said, ignoring her complaints, fishing for my new mobile to type it out.
Brandon Sanderson
#18. God, she's beautiful. I mean, look at her. She's like a volcano going off - fierce and fiery and breathtaking. If she doesn't find a way to ugly herself down, I'm going to be spending an awful lot of time pissing her off. Which might not be such a bad thing in the end. Angry sex is awesome.
Emma Chase
#19. We want to get the hell over there. The quicker we clean up this Goddamned mess, the quicker we can take a little jaunt against the purple pissing Japs and clean out their nest, too. Before the Goddamned Marines get all of the credit.
George S. Patton
#20. In the interest of not pissing you off anymore tonight, let's not select that particular playlist.
Kiersten White
#21. I'm an individual. I do not want to get into a pissing match with an organization that is a de-facto gigadollar-turnover multinational!
Charles Stross
#22. Stop telling yourself you that you aren't lovable because it's pissing me off. I don't care if you aren't ready to admit how you really feel about me yet, but don't you dare dismiss how I feel about you. Because I love you.
Colleen Hoover
#24. I spent quite a lot of time pissing off my friends because I could get girls with a British accent, despite the fact that I was tubby and, like, not very cool.
Marcus Mumford
#25. I'm even going to electrolyze my urine. That'll make for a pleasant smell in the trailer.
If I survive this, I'll tell people I was pissing rocket fuel.
Andy Weir
#26. You're not in a pissing match with a seven-year-old, are you? Gunner called.
Lizzy Ford
#27. Y'all got to love something. Y'all got to hate something. Y'all got to want something. Pissing on other people's passion 'cause you trying to be cool just make you a coward - a
Christopher Moore
#28. Pissing off PETA is as easy as pie. Delicious kitten pie.
Stephen Colbert
#29. (Official Interdimensional Travel Observation #2: you'd think that meeting yourself in another dimension would cause a total freak-out of the infinite order, pants-pissing, screaming, etc. But it's the total opposite: weirdly calming. Like "Hey bro, I know you! Let's go get a beer.") But
Rob Dircks
#30. After they left the office, Peabody shoved her hands in her pockets. "These nicknames are pissing me off."
"But you're not I'm-Too-Good-to-Pee-Body. Harris is."
"It's my damn name. And now I have to pee. It's like my bladder has to prove something."
"Pee at the bank. Consider it a deposit.
J.D. Robb
#31. An old woman selling piglets from a basket stopped to stare at him, a knight with a half-familiar face went to one knee, and two men-at-arms pissing in a ditch turned and sprayed each other.
George R R Martin
#32. Just because you disagreed with the Poll Tax and detested Margaret Thatcher - "
"Detest is a little inappropriate," Parlabane said. "Maybe closer to say I spent the entire Eighties wishing I was pissing on her rotting corpse.
Christopher Brookmyre
#33. That thing about don't look up here, you're pissing on your shoes, for
instance, was that humor? Or a growl of rage?
All That You Love Will Be Carried Away.
Stephen King
#34. Remember what I used to tel you when you were a little girl? 'A fool and her money soon part.' Current-day translation? Stop pissing away your assets at Bloomingdale's.
Sophie Kinsella
#35. And you know," Jeanne said, looking down at Sylvia with her hands on her hips, "that's how I want to go. Taking my own way out ... and totally pissing everybody off at the end.
L.J.Smith
#36. David held the knife up with a shaky hand. "
"Get that damn thing out of my face, boy.
David shook his head. "No, you're going to hit me!"
"Of course I am and you're only pissing me off more with that damn knife!
R.L. Mathewson
#37. I'm nothing more than a talking urinal cake. The world is pissing on me.
Donald O'Donovan
#38. Hunter already had some baggage, add my baggage on top of that and it'd be a recipe for pissing off airport security.
Anonymous
#39. I'm polite. I guess that's the dichotomy within me. I don't like to piss people off just for the sake of pissing them off. I pick my battles.
Lucinda Williams
#40. Edgar Hoover? I'd rather have him inside the tent pissing out than outside pissing in.
Jeffrey Archer
#41. Yeah, the cut throats and the pigs. But who wants all that blood spilled, judge, huh? Isn't there a simpler way of not pissing off the big vipers?
Al Swearengen
#42. Now that we have the pissing contest out of the way, we need information. [Rayna]
M.R. Merrick
#43. For guys, life was nothing but one big pissing contest. It was a pure damn wonder women didn't take over the world while men were busy trying to prove who had the biggest dick.
Tami Hoag
#44. It's been raining outside and I feel like a sad poet, hating my imagination pissing on the roof.
Munia Khan
#45. Hey, I have a weird question," I said. "What does it mean if a guy calls you 'bang tidy'?"
Marna snorted. "Sounds like something a dirty wanker would say. Or someone pissing about."
Now it was my turn to snort, because she'd called Kai a wanker.
Wendy Higgins
#46. What are you doing with the child?" I inquired cautiously.
"I'm teachin' young James here the fine art of not pissing on his feet," he explained.
Diana Gabaldon
#47. Right at the flamingo orgy! Left at the multiethnic roof Santas! Straight past the pissing cherubs!
Ransom Riggs
#48. And you had to do that in a thunderstorm pissing down like a camel?
Poppet
#49. Talking to morons like that is like pissing in a urinal full of cigarette butts, like shitting in a toilet full of Tampax: nothing gets flushed, and everything starts to stink.
Michel Houellebecq
#50. One man wrote me, saying, 'You know who you are? You're nothing but a Captain Bly pissing up a drainpipe!'
Robert Bly
#51. Sometimes they just literally didn't know what we were talking about. Just as I was not familiar with the completely normal custom of pissing in jars, they had never been handed a fifteen-year-old Kotex product by the school nurse. But they
Tina Fey
#52. Whether your pleasing or pissing everybody off, your doing something wrong.
David Cook
#53. If you have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you're pissing all over today.
Michael J. Fox
#54. If America taught me anything, it's that quitting is right up there with pissing in the Girl Scouts' lemonade jar.
Khaled Hosseini
#55. I tried to gentle it. Are you two pissing on each other for my friendship? I don't deal with that. You both should know that.
Tijan
#56. If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on the present.
Malachy McCourt
#57. When Stephen comes into a room, the furnishings shrink from him. Chairs scuttle backwards. Joint-stools flatten themselves like pissing bitches. The woollen Bible figures in the king's tapestries lift their hands to cover their ears.
Hilary Mantel
#58. It occurred to him that he'd made a habit of pissing on the shoes of very powerful beings, but he'd never been a study in social graces. Why change now?
Kevin Lucia
#59. Told me that when you bury emotions like that, you're only pissing them off ... making them stronger, because you're burying them alive. They don't like that, and one day they'll make sure that you don't like it either.
Rob Thurman
#61. We survived the 1980's. Back then, the economic program was called 'trickle down.' That actually meant they were pissing on you. How the whole theory goes was this: 'We have all the money. If we drop some, it's yours. Go for it.'
Bill Maher
#62. You're walking around as though everyone is farting roses and pissing champagne. What's up?
Samantha Young
#63. This is one fucking morbid pissing contest. Can't you just compare dick sizes?
Kit Rocha
#64. I think the correct term for this was 'pissing contest', and though I was flattered, I didn't have time for it.
Kim Harrington
#65. Pissing off the hottie you're married to is far worse, 'cause she chose you over all of the other pathetic hopefuls, and expects more outta you because of it.
Daniel Kelley
#66. This is indeed a funny country. Yesterday, for example, we were in a cafe which is one of the best in Cairo, and there were, at the same time as ourselves, inside, a donkey shitting, and a gentleman who was pissing in a corner. No one finds that odd; no one says anything.
Gustave Flaubert
#67. Better to have your enemies inside your tent pissing out, then to have them outside your tent pissing in.
Doris Kearns Goodwin
#68. Marilyn Monroe is pissing me off, Charlie Chaplin owes me twenty bucks, that fucker Shrek tried to fuck my girlfriend at Baskin Robbins.
David Louden
#69. I remember another aphorism of my father's, one that he used to say whenever we passed someone pissing openly in the street: add color to life when you can.
Dinaw Mengestu
#70. There's nothing about the times when she wasn't funny or sexy, or when she talked too much or about her pissing or shitting. There's no way to really preserve a person when they're gone and that's because whatever you write down it's not the truth, it's just a story.
Steven Hall
#71. He said having a smoking section in a restaurant was just like having a pissing section in a swimming pool.
Ted Bell
#72. Writing history is like drinking an ocean and pissing a cupful.
Gustave Flaubert
#73. You write a book like that you're fond of over the years, then you see that happen to it, it's like pissing in your father's beer.
Ernest Hemingway,
#74. I look at what's going on in our society and what's pissing me off at the moment and I just get my basic gut reaction to that and that gut reaction usually becomes the title of the book.
Larry Winget
#75. Better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in.
Lyndon B. Johnson
#76. Sometimes being successful means pissing people off
Philip Loyd
#77. Pissing and thinking have a lot in common, he thought. You can put them both off. But not forever.
Stephen King
#78. Those pissing contests are how lords judge one another's strength, and woe to any man who shows his weakness. A woman must needs piss twice as hard, if she hopes to rule. And
George R R Martin
#79. Anyway, it's two in the morning and we're taking turns pissing off of the tower (rather than going at the same time, because we weren't raised by wolves).
David Wong
#80. The Beautiful Poem
I go to bed in Los Angeles thinking
about you.
Pissing a few moments ago
I looked down at my penis
affectionately.
Knowing it has been inside
you twice today makes me
feel beautiful.
Richard Brautigan
#81. Pissing people off doesn't mean you're doing the right things, but doing the right things will almost inevitably piss people off.
Colin Powell
#82. It was a lot easier to talk to her with my eyes closed, too. Not so much of a pissing contest.
Maggie Stiefvater
#83. If you're not pissing someone off on social media, you're not using it aggressively enough.
Guy Kawasaki
#84. My mother's psychologist says I have an overactive anger switch, but people just keep pissing me off.
Meg Cabot
#85. It's very important to know when you're in a pissing match. And it's very important to get out of it as quickly as possible.
Randy Pausch
#86. Kids are like pissing cats or burrowing moles, marking off land within land, each section with its own rules, beliefs, laws of engagement.
Zadie Smith
#87. Everyone in Arthur Anderson's life was fixated on happily-ever-after, and it was seriously pissing him off.
Anonymous
#88. Being responsible sometimes means pissing people off.
Colin Powell
#89. The fact that he got to save the Gwardian's mate and managed to piss him off at the same time, well that was just a bonus and pure luck of circumstance. After all, he had gypsy blood inside of him and could not stop the satisfaction he got from pissing people off.
Madison Thorne Grey
#90. The other man stood his ground, with an arrogant, insolent stance. Although it was hard to believe, clearly the idiot didn't have a clue either who he had ogled, or who he had engaged in a pissing contest. Had he been living under a rock?
Thea Harrison
#91. We like annoying people. It's a Manchester thing. It's a trait. We just like pissing people off.
Noel Gallagher
#92. I was so happy every morning when I woke up that I was pissing smiley faces.
Nikki Sixx
#93. They won't get you without getting us and believe me, we're not about to make our enemies happy and die here. (Nykyrian)
Damn straight. We have too many people to continue pissing off. (Syn)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#94. Give me my powers back, Artemis, or I'll take your daughter's life. (Sin)
Damn boy, you have an unholy gift for pissing off people. Why don't you tell her that dress makes her look fat while you're at it? (Kat)
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#95. You can try to please everyone and risk accomplishing nothing, or go for your dreams and risk pissing a few people off.
Lauren DeStefano
#96. There is really no polite way to put it: Now is not the time to be pissing away the nation's largest aquifer.
Julene Bair
#97. Quit it! Tate, enough of the taunts, and Bones, how old are you? Why don't I just give you a pair of my panties to hang around your neck? Then whenever you feel jealous, you can wave them at whoever's pissing you off."
"Like you wear panties," Tate muttered.
Jeaniene Frost
#98. Actually, I love pissing people off. Important people, rich people, dangerous people. I'm an equal-opportunity pisser-offer.
Jennifer Estep
#99. No, no, no!" said Albert. "You got to put a bit of life in it, sir, no offense intended. It's got to be a big fat laugh. You got to ... you got to sound like you're pissing brandy and crapping plum pudding, sir, excuse my Klatchian.
Terry Pratchett
#100. I'm a 20 year old white boy residing on the Eastside of Cleveland, OH, and I am loud and obnoxious troubled youth that spends weeknights pissing parents off by turning their daughter's room into a giant orgy-fest.
Machine Gun Kelly
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