Christopher Brookmyre Quotes

#1. My reaction to your news is delighted astonishment that Lanark has been judged more popular than a book by Ian Rankin, and only regret that this wonderful honour had no money attached to it!

Christopher Brookmyre

#2. Just because you disagreed with the Poll Tax and detested Margaret Thatcher - "
"Detest is a little inappropriate," Parlabane said. "Maybe closer to say I spent the entire Eighties wishing I was pissing on her rotting corpse.

Christopher Brookmyre

#3. It's that ambient dance pish that Parlabane always hears at trendy gatherings but which no bastard would ever choose to listen to for their own entertainment. The

Christopher Brookmyre

#4. There can be only one

Christopher Brookmyre

#5. Stealing is the worst kind of cheating. It's cheating at life, son. It's for folk that arenae any good at life, so they have to cheat.

Christopher Brookmyre

#6. And what is it with these fucking people and teenage virgins anyway? Have they ever actually shagged one? I have, more than once, and none of the encounters would appear on my list of sexual highlights.

Christopher Brookmyre

#7. Art and savagery, aesthetics and violence. Were they contradictory or symbiotic?

Christopher Brookmyre

#8. When they hear hooves they look for zebras instead of horses

Christopher Brookmyre

#9. People didn't really like McDonald's, same as her mum didn't really like Catholicism, but when you were new in town, at least it was a known quantity. So that'll be a Quarter-Pounder and a Communion Wafer meal-deal to go.

Christopher Brookmyre

#10. Truth was, if you were going to believe something, it was best to believe in stuff that made the world seem a more interesting place.

Christopher Brookmyre

#11. They both looked younger than him, as well as taller, better built and undoubtedly more schooled in the noble art of punching fuck out of people. Nonetheless, younger doesn't necessarily mean faster or fitter, and Parlabane was highly schooled in the arguably less noble art of running away.

Christopher Brookmyre

#12. St Michael's RC secondary sat on a promontory overlooking the town of Auchenlea. The choice of site was an indirect consequence of a past mistake in vocational guidance, leading someone who had a pathological hatred of children into town planning, rather than the more traditional field of teaching.

Christopher Brookmyre

#13. Mairi stared at Parlabane with an expression he had seen too often down the years: that look of distress at having discovered precisely how deep the rabbit hole goes, and what darkness lay at its end.

Christopher Brookmyre

#14. Was there anything quite so under-rated in this shallow, plastic, global-corporate, tall-skinny-late, kiddy-meal-and-free-toy, united-colours-of-fuck-you-too world, than a good old-fashioned, no-frills, retail blow-job?

Christopher Brookmyre

#15. Is it colour?'
'Oh yes.'
'You don't let me down.You are my ambassador to pr0n, man.

Christopher Brookmyre

#16. Twenty-first century communications technology rendering the planet not so much global village as global schoolroom full of sniggering male virgins and bitchy female hypocrites.

Christopher Brookmyre

#17. Love Is: being able to keep your fucking mouth shut.

Christopher Brookmyre

#18. He felt water run down his back from the damp brickwork he was sitting against, and as he worried distantly about corrosion he realised you can always fall a little further. A moment ago he thought he'd bottomed out, but now he was concerned about personal rust. Mother of fuck.

Christopher Brookmyre