Top 100 Quotes About Joking
#1. My ideal type of women? A person who is completely into me. It's fine even if she's so into me that it's a bit strange. She doesn't spend time with friends, she doesn't go out, but instead is unconditionally attached to me. I'm not joking. I really want someone like that.
Lee Joon
#2. Joking and laughing as they headed off to their new life
Markee Anderson
#3. Why the hell are you wearing it on your left hand? I swear to God, if you're married I'm going to kick your ass. I'm not joking.
Abi Ketner
#4. When I was 5 years old, hanging out with my friends who were all older than me, like 8 or 9, I was joking around like, 'Yeah, when I'm 20 that's a perfect age to go pro.' That's what I had in my head. Then I turn pro at 13. It's all been a mystery and its all been awesome.
Ryan Sheckler
#5. I was joking with isabelle about vampires right before it happened. just trying to make her laugh, you know? what freaks out jewish vanpires? silver stars of david? chopped liver? check for eighteen dollars?
Cassandra Clare
#6. We ... joked a little about presidential portraits. He [Bill Clinton] told me that he and Harrison Ford had been joking recently about how chins drop with age, and he didn't want to look that way.
Nelson Shanks
#7. I never trained in any acting, other than just joking around and doing my own dinky little videos.
Dylan O'Brien
#8. I keep saying the sexy job in the next ten years will be statisticians. People think I'm joking, but who would've guessed that computer engineers would've been the sexy job of the 1990s?
Hal Varian
#9. I'm a jokester, so when I was joking on Twitter, it kinda rubbed people the wrong way. And I was like, I didn't make these up. I'm just letting you know they're there.
Gilbert Arenas
#10. I could be joking and smiling [with infidels] and then cutting their throats in the next second.
Tarik Shah
#11. It's true that what is morbid is highly valued today, and so you may think that I am only joking or that I've devised just one more means of praising Art with the help of irony.
Czeslaw Milosz
#12. I can't help feeling a little bit competitive and a little bit disappointed in myself that I'm already so far behind. After all, Yulikova thinks Barron has a real future with the Bureau. She told me so. I told her that sociopaths are relentlessly charming.
I think she figured I was joking.
Holly Black
#13. I read all the speeches of the pope, his commentaries, and if the pope continues this way, I will go back to praying and go back to the church, and I'm not joking,
Raul Castro
#14. The cybernetic operation?"
"No, the sex change."
The doctor's smile faltered.
"I'm joking.
Marissa Meyer
#15. Don't worry, Jet. Just as long as we don't get into any situations that require grenades, we'll be fine." Indy said this like she wasn't joking.
Kristen Ashley
#16. God is always joking. Look at your own life - it is a joke! Look at other people's lives, and you will find jokes and jokes and jokes. Seriousness is illness; seriousness has nothing spiritual about it. Spirituality is laughter, spirituality is joy, spirituality is fun.
Rajneesh
#17. Prestidigitation? You've got to be joking. No one says that.
Les Lynam
#18. It took me a moment to realize he was joking. He was very dry. He didn't even smile at his own jokes, let alone laugh at them. Didn't give you any clues he was being funny. Oh,
Joe Hill
#19. I'm not joking you. I never joke people. Joke people and you make enemies. That's what I always say.
Ernest Hemingway,
#21. My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
George Bernard Shaw
#22. I can't imagine not joking even at the worst of times. And for me, it's sort of automatic.
Elizabeth McCracken
#23. People don't think of writers as sex objects. The women who write to me and suggest that we ought to have sex usually turn out to be, like, eighty. And their letters always end with, "Just joking."
Dave Barry
#24. Scurrility has no object in view but incivility; if it is uttered from feelings of petulance, it is mere abuse; if it is spoken in a joking manner, it may be considered raillery.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
#25. I'm not one of those people who are, like, always joking in person.
Dave Franco
#26. It's okay," I said soothingly. "You're just getting your stride back. Once you're up to full power, I'll go crack a rib or something so we can test it."
She groaned. "The horrible part is that I don't think you're joking.
Richelle Mead
#27. Ain't no use jiving, ain't no use joking, everything is broken.
Bob Dylan
#28. Life can be a waste by jesting and joking away their time.
Sunday Adelaja
#29. Killing me still on the agenda, tough girl?"
I walked over to the desk. "Yup, right here next to buy Brendan a leash."
"Glad to know you have a sense of humour."
"I wasn't joking." I mumbled, knowing he would be able to hear me.
Elizabeth Morgan
#30. Ingra just kept a straight face he hoped Vilenthe was joking. "Anyway." Ingra tried to bring the topic full circle
Charon Lloyd-Roberts
#31. Would you think I was joking if I said that you can put a clock back, and that if the clock is wrong it is often a very sensible thing to do?
C.S. Lewis
#32. My joking answer to this question is that I leave a bowl of milk out on the back porch every night for the Idea Fairy. In the morning, the milk is gone and there's a brand-new shiny idea by the bowl.
Sarah Zettel
#33. The one thing I've found you really can't joke about - and people think it's death or something - is money. No one thinks it's funny, whether you have it or you don't. Money is just something no one seems to like joking about.
Anthony Jeselnik
#34. Fucked Up
Set up
Faced up
Jacked up
Sitting there in chokey
14 years old
No lock on the door
But no way out
No joking
No hoping
No nothing
Pinned Down.
Shane MacGowan
#35. Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'
Pat Paulsen
#36. Lee has surveillance on Fortnum's, cameras and bugs, twenty-four seven. He put it in when I was going through my drama and never took it out. The boys at the office watch for security purposes and ... um, for kicks." I stared at her.
"You're joking," I breathed.
Kristen Ashley
#37. I just want to make sure that he treats you right! I can't let my little girl get hurt!"
" ... I can't even tell if you're joking or not.
August Westman
#39. [To reporter who telephoned with news of her Oscar:] If you are joking me, I will get up immediately and kill you wherever you are.
Anna Magnani
#40. I love Sam Neill. The thing that I always say about him, and I think it's true, is he's so dry. When he's serious, I think he's joking; when he's joking, I think he's serious.
Willem Dafoe
#41. By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?'
'You can call me whatever you like.'
Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys.
Derek Landy
#42. I'm joking, I'm joking. Best decision I ever made.
Joe Biden
#43. Is there anything you can't do? I ask, only halfway joking. She considers. There are plenty of things I've never done. Fly a plane. Speak Chinese. But nothing I can think of that I couldn't learn or find a way around.
Amy Plum
#44. Stephen picks up on Armstrong's pier, and calls Kingstown pier "a disappointed bridge" (2.22). He's joking about the fact that Ireland wanted to be connected to continental Europe but ended up being extremely isolated.
James Joyce
#45. His joy was a release of Paul's conversion, not the heavy backslapping practical-joking humor of the Victorians, nor the cynical satire or the flippancy of the twenty first century mass media, just the gift of not taking himself or his adversaries too seriously.
John Charles Pollock
#46. I was joking the other day about how my real life feels like a TV show, and my TV life feels real - because, to be on Thursday nights on NBC, which is what I grew up with, has been such a big part of inspiring me. To be part of that tradition is really completely surreal, and I'm so grateful.
Whitney Cummings
#47. How do you know when a woman wants to kill you?" Rand mused. "When she knows your name?" Dobraine did not sound as if he were joking.
Robert Jordan
#48. Anyone willing to do what is required to become president of the United States is thereby barred from taking that office. I'm only half joking
Alan Greenspan
#49. I'm joking, it's not really hell," the voice went on. "It's worse than hell, not that I've ever actually been there. You're in Villete.
Paulo Coelho
#50. Senator Kerry recovering very nicely after having shoulder surgery. The doctors said the senator was fully awake, lucid and joking after the surgery was done, but cautioned that that was just the drug. He went back to his boring self soon afterward.
Jay Leno
#51. I might literally fall over dead if I meet Oprah Winfrey. I'm kind of joking, but I'm not confident that wouldn't happen.
Uzo Aduba
#52. How can [actors] learn their lines and be honest in front of 30 people and all the lights? It makes me cry sometimes. I can't understand how they can be joking with me 30 seconds before, and 40 seconds later they're giving me all this incredible feeling.
Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu
#53. Some of the key components, we wanted it to be so far into the future that you weren't talking about our time. I was joking that the AMC cinematic universe is after the zombie apocalypse by hundreds and hundreds of years.
Alfred Gough
#54. Ought a woman to disclose her frailties earlier than the wedding day? Few husbands, I assure you, make the discovery in such good season, and still fewer complain that these trifles are concealed too long. Well, what a strange man you are! Poh! you are joking.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
#55. You aren't angry "
"You must be joking " she said dryly. "I'm alive Nicholas. And I'm immortal like you. This rocks
Lynsay Sands
#56. I would play my Dungeons and Dragons songs and watch people's eyes glaze over, and then I would start joking around between songs, and all of a sudden people were lighting up and engaging.
J. Tillman
#57. I will see you again," Hades promised. "I will prepare a room for you at the palace in case you do not survive. Perhaps your chambers would look good decorated with the skulls of monks."
"Now I can't tell if you're joking.
Rick Riordan
#58. Of course, I'm only joking," he says, studying me. "The reason they're staring is because I am extraordinarily good looking.
Penelope King
#59. We walked for a long time. We kissed, we embraced on the Lungarno, I asked him, half serious, half joking, if he wanted to sneak into my room. He shook his head, he went back to kissing me passionately. There were entire libraries separating him and Antonio, but they were similar.
Elena Ferrante
#60. The director sets the tone, and if someone's ruling it with an iron fist, people are quiet and the days go long in my experience, when there's a very serious tone, the days just drag. When there's someone who, in between takes, is joking or laughing the days go quick.
Channing Tatum
#61. Immediately I give myself a little mental slap. Fishing for compliments is a cardinal sin. "Never mind, I was only joking.
Sally Thorne
#62. If I'd been joking I would have said, a blind guy walks into a bar. And a table. And a couple of chairs.
Anonymous
#63. Your 'Ideal Parallel World' must be so grand that if you told it to 99% of your friends, they would laugh - some because they would think you were joking and some because they would think the goal impossible.
Kevin Michel
#64. I'm not joking around when I've said occasionally, trying to learn how to play a D chord properly has been a very big thing for me.
Lou Reed
#65. Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine ...
Edgar Allan Poe
#66. He sounds like Jesus. Except rich and sexy."
"Watch it, Meg. In this town joking about Jesus could get you shot. You've never seen so many of the faithful who're armed.
Susan Elizabeth Phillips
#67. It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself.
Salvador Dali
#68. A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.
Eminem
#69. Well I'm a 5 year old at heart; I still think that there is a monster under my bed - and I'm not joking. It's pathetic, it's really not cute.
Eva Mendes
#70. Never call a girl fat, even if you're joking.
Demi Lovato
#71. So ... you don't like dismembering?"
"No."
"Evisceration?"
"Not so much." He laughed like he thought she was joking. "I'm a dull sorta guy."
"Yeah, kinda.
Dia Reeves
#72. Humor and absurdism are inevitable. If you look at our current massive flow of consumer products and digital communication and related media from a sort of astute perspective and carefully state what you see you can't help but sounding like you're joking.
Aaron Belz
#73. A good Catholic boy like myself? You must be joking. Anyway, it kind of changes things when your equipment's used for business instead of pleasure
Tabitha McGowan
#74. And Johnson, genuinely hated by his opponent and the crowd, still enjoying every minute of it. Smiling, joking, playing the whole fight. Why not? There's no value in any other reaction. Should he hate them for hating him? Bitterness was their burden and Johnson refused to pick it up.
Ryan Holiday
#75. I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping.
Red Buttons
#76. Andy [Hallett] was a real man - you can tell an adult by how they deal with pain or adversity. Andy's eyeballs gave him searing pain all day every day because of the contacts they used. He was every moment a gentlemen; laughing and joking, wiping the tears from his eyes.
James Marsters
#77. Then she smiled and told me I was cute, and that I should be careful, and I asked her why, then she said that she might fall for me, but I know she was joking, because who would want to fall for me? I'm a mess.
Abraham M. Alghanem
#78. Stepped out into the cold, collar high, under the slate gray sky. The air was smoking and the streets were dry, and I wasn't joking when I said goodbye.
Ani DiFranco
#79. Not all journalists are really journalists. They ask such stupid questions sometimes, especially the newer ones, and because ... these people can't tell if you're joking around, you just can't have any sense of humour; you really can't.
Ray Liotta
#80. Fred, you next," the plump woman said.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George," said the boy. "Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother? Can't you tell I'm George?"
"Sorry, George, dear."
"Only joking, I am Fred," said the boy and off he went.
J.K. Rowling
#81. Because friendship is about laughing when the other person is joking to make you feel better. Even if you don't find her joke all that funny.
Padma Venkatraman
#82. I have no desire to be a lead actor or anything. I was offered things and occasionally something comes along, but for the most part I'm pretty much, "You've got to be joking, right?"
Ian Astbury
#83. We would make songs, and the producers said we should play it for my dad. I was kind of scared, I didn't know what to think cuz we were just joking around.
Lil' Romeo
#85. I regularly comment on my desire to exploit my admirers or to kill babies and cute animals, and I don't even need to laugh or smile for people to think I am joking.
M.E. Thomas
#86. I give credence to the worst things somebody writes about me, and if somebody writes something nice, I think they're wrong or false or lying or joking.
Jesse Eisenberg
#87. My dad and I used to watch 'Ninja Warrior' all the time back when it was in Japan. I would always say, 'I could do that,' kind of joking, but obviously kind of serious.
Kacy Catanzaro
#88. When my turn came, I said I hoped one day to be the dictator of an Islamic republic with nuclear capability; the others appeared shocked, and I was forced to explain that I had been joking.
Mohsin Hamid
#89. I like working solo and it was a lot of fun joking around with the audience, saying things. I'm only just learning how to do certain things.
Art Garfunkel
#90. It is unpardonable conceit not to laugh at your own jokes. Joking is undignified; that is why it is so good for one's soul. Do not fancy you can be a detached wit and avoid being a buffoon; you cannot. If you are the Court Jester you must be the Court Fool.
Gilbert K. Chesterton
#91. When god made man, she was only joking.
Unknown
#92. I would always be the kid that got in trouble in school, that's for sure, for joking around.
Matthew Perry
#93. Excuse me?" Jess asked in disbelief. "This is Frozen Zarek I'm talking to, right? Not some weird pod person?"
He shook his head at Jess's joking. "It's me, dickless."
"Hey, now, that's way too personal. I don't need to know that much about you.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#94. Guess what, the cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college. You think, I'm joking, they're almost all gymnasts, the stuff they do on hard wood, it blows my mind.
Joe Biden
#95. Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.
Amy Sedaris
#96. You accused me of murder. Do you make a habit of bringing schoolgirls into an interview room with murder suspects?'
He waved his hand. 'Oh, I was only joking about that. I don't really think you murdered someone. Unless you did, in which case I reserve the right to say I knew it all along.
Derek Landy
#97. All joking aside, I'm a television watcher and I get frustrated with shows sometimes when they set up puzzles and then they don't give answers. It's just more questions and more questions.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
#98. They was always joking that Jonte fell in love with Farren's old ass but she really wasn't old to him; they were eight or nine years apart. But Farren was still childish. In his eyes, he felt way older than she was. Jonte
Nako
#99. One time I dropped a fly ball in Milwaukee and, after the game, the writers asked me what happened. I told them, 'Well, I was looking up and a UFO flew right across. It was weird. I never saw anything like that in my life.' Man, I was only joking and they wrote it up and put it in the paper.
Jesse Barfield
#100.
Even losing you (a joking voice, a gesture/ I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident/ the art of losing's not too hard to master/ though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
Elizabeth Bishop
