Quotes About Humping

#1. Scientists have invented a new strain of cannabis without the high. They celebrated with non-alcoholic beer and furious dry-humping.

Stephen Colbert

#2. granny-humping butt sucker!

Annie Nicholas

#3. On her daughter's pet rabbit: I don't think he liked being in a cage and wouldn't stop masturbating and humping his bowl.

Kate Beckinsale

#4. Let us light up the fire, the wind is so calm and the night is falling - i see ur lips shiver and i can feel ur breath humping up.

Bobby Vj

#5. What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."

Robert Schimmel

#6. I was surprised to learn that doing household chores qualifies as romantic for most of you [women]. That's exactly why you should never hire a butler if you strike it rich - the minute that Jeeves starts unloading the dishwasher without being asked, your wife is going to start humping his leg.

Scott Adams

#7. Prostitution is the supreme triumph of capitalism. When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women, for the moral tarring and feathering they give indigenous women who have had the bad luck to live in what they make their humping ground.

Julie Burchill

#8. I call my wife and tell her I'm going to sleep at the lab. She reminds me that she left me a week ago. Louis tries to crack me up by pantomiming humping a chimp through the cage.

Noah Baumbach

#9. Humping my leg like a dog in heat every time I'm around you doesn't prove you like me, Daemon.' Daemon clamped his mouth shut, and I could tell he was fighting back laughter. 'Actually, that's how I show people I like them.

Jennifer L. Armentrout

#10. In order for American Pie to have worked, you have to have a character who, even while he is humping a pie, the audience still likes.

Jason Biggs

#11. Dry-humping, I believe it's called.

Michael Muhammad Knight

#12. At the end of the day, I was still a virgin, all alone in a dark room, humping a lubed-up robot.

Ernest Cline

#13. Still humping the American Dream

Hunter S. Thompson

#14. There have been plenty of very bare hotels with couples humping next door. I don't stay in very grand hotels.

Honor Blackman

#15. Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added pressure to perform. 'Cause it's kinda like you're not just humping for yourself. You're humping for your race. You got to represent your people.

Bill Burr

#16. I was minding my own buisness long before you and the princess started humping like rabbits.

Julie Kagawa

#17. Today, he was going to win the Big Humping Pussy award and go back to Poughkeepsie

Debra Anastasia

#18. Rache! Glad you're ... Tink loves a duck!" he said, wings clattering. "It stinks of sex in here. God, woman. I leave you alone for one night, and you're humping the ghost." - Jenks to Rachel

Kim Harrison

#19. Side effects from doggie joy may include face lube and leg-humping" ~ Oberon

Kevin Hearne

#20. That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!

Gemma Halliday

#21. But Rachel knows this isn't true. Nobody can stop anything. The people will always be humping next door. The burning cat will always be rocketing like a comet around every house in which they ever live. Nothing will ever be resolved.

Chuck Palahniuk

#22. How the fuck do you keep your hair like that? I look like a hedgehog's been humping my skull.

James S.A. Corey

#23. Not that I have anything against dancing. Some guys will tell you it's effeminate but I'm not one of them. Today's dancing is practically sex with your clothes on, dry humping in a room full of people. And I'm definitely into that.

Emma Chase

#24. Man, Fury was right. You should never trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. I should have listened to you. You told me Petra was a three-wolf-humping bitch, but did I listen? (Fang)

Sherrilyn Kenyon

#25. You'd be cute if you weren't such a little humping freak." Carter flattened the fur on the top of the dog's head. "Humperdinck." He met Faith's eyes. "I think I've just named your dog.

Kristin Miller

#26. Just because I'm not pushing you up against walls and humping you like a fucking animal doesn't mean I can't appreciate the view. You just haven't caught me looking.

Harper Sloan

#27. I felt like that character in Flowers for Algernon. Not Charlie, the lady teacher from the college who realizes, 'I've got to stop dry-humping this mentally challenged guy!

Tina Fey

#28. Look dude, no humping the redhead until we see if the rabbit dies.

Lynn Hagen

#29. From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

Russell Howard

#30. I flew out here on Southwest Airlines. Southwest has a plane that's painted like Shamu the whale from Sea World. Yeah, that'll be easy to find if that went down in the ocean. That'll be nice, when you're trying to get out and a real whale's humping your window.

Robert Schimmel

#31. Good sex is a mystery. Perhaps humping and pumping is not a mystery, but good sex is a mystery, and how human beings become truly intimate remains a mystery.

Erica Jong

#32. Because enough talking. It was time for the goddamned kissing, hard and fast and smooth and slow and any and every way in between, until Tommy was humping his thigh.

S.E. Jakes

#33. Every time I go out and do something, Hans panics and starts trying to beat me. He's like a dog humping your leg.

Dean Potter

#34. Nothing says awkward like coming in your pants while dry humping.

Jay McLean

#35. His look of confusion is so fucking hot I think I want to rape him. Yup. Going to stand up and just start humping his leg.

Jay McLean

#36. I looked around. Kale was glaring daggers at Alex, who was staring at me like I'd lost my mind. Jade was eye-humping Kale like a lovesick puppy while Kiernan looked ready to kick her ass.
Seriously. Worse-timed drama ever.

Jus Accardo

#37. There's a very fine line between giving someone the Heimlich maneuver and dry-humping a stranger.

Demetri Martin

#38. The best activities for your health are pumping and humping.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

#39. It. I don't mean to poke the bear, but I've got one nerve left, and Maddox is dry-humping it. So, could you all move it along?

Jamie McGuire

#40. Was it really called dry humping, if they did it underwater? Probably not. Crying shame that they both had their jeans on, because this was definitely one of those adrenaline-fuelled moments of passion with a total loss of inhibition, where need and desire trumped all reason.

Suzanne Brockmann