Top 100 Quotes About Humor And Truth
#1. The thing that I fear discriminating against is humor and truth.
Charles Bukowski
#2. I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield
#3. Religions are strange. They seem to be caught in some dream which they won't give up and trying to convince others of the truth of their dream, when in fact each person is having their own dream. Take what you need from the religions and just leave the rest, and be all right with that.
Art Hochberg
#4. With true love, you can move mountains, make unusual sacrifices, live a life of deprivations and still be happy.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#5. I like Dancing of Indian girls more than my parents' prayers . Because they dance with love and passion . But my parents just say their prayers because they got used to it .
Ali Shariati
#6. Egg has the truth of it. Aerion's quite the monster. He thinks he's a dragon in human form, you know. That's why he was so wroth at that puppet show. A pity he wasn't born a Fossoway, then he'd think himself an apple and we'd all be a deal safer, but there you are.
George R R Martin
#7. Humor plays close to the big hot fire which is Truth, and sometimes the reader feels the heat.
E.B. White
#8. Feel these muscles and understand how they boast the truth!
Hiromu Arakawa
#9. In order to avoid this bitter end, we would all have to be born again, and born with the knowledge of alternatives. Even then?
Maya Angelou
#10. If humor and rumor are needed more than faith and truth,
then it tells me something about the kind of world we live today.
Toba Beta
#11. Well, it's not easy to find something that you do not know exists.
Patricia Nedelea
#12. I picked up the umeboshi from my tray and popped it into my mouth. I made a show of savoring the flavor. Truth be known, it was sour enough to twist my mouth as tight as a crab's ass at low tide, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction of seeing that.
Hiroshi Sakurazaka
#13. I use a lot of humor, and I follow the saying that if you want to tell people the truth, you better make them laugh first, otherwise, they will shoot you. So I can tell you a joke and maybe you will laugh at the beginning. But it's not about telling jokes.
Sayed Kashua
#14. Things will happen that you can't prevent, things will fall apart that you can't hold together, but ultimately you're shaping yourself and that final product speaks volumes about who you really are, not what people see you as or what you want to be.
Erik Tomblin
#15. Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth.
Lily Tomlin
#16. But a system made secure by the protective plating of humor and pretense always runs the risk of having its protection get out of hand. A relationship based on jokes invites jokes; jokes about anything
and jokes about anything are now and then bound to cut too close to the truth.
Ken Kesey
#17. The supernatural world was like an onion. You peel back the layers, only to find more layers, on and on, hopelessly trying to reach the mysterious core. Then you start crying.
Carrie Vaughn
#18. I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer, and pizza are all good enough reasons for living. But living an honest life - for that you need the truth.
Ricky Gervais
#19. She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It's kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn't listening.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#20. A women can run, hide, play and have fun but she will shine far better when she just smiles without none.
Santosh Kalwar
#21. I'm here," I continued, "to guide you into the light of truth, decency and perhaps pants.
Paul Rudnick
#22. A nationalist will blindly follow his country to his death out of love for it. A patriot will stand up for and even against his country to his death out of love for it.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#23. We need the wisdom to accept the fact that this world abounds with issues we cannot solve; and we need to part ways with those people, ideas and things that are a vexation to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#24. ...A canonical leader is someone whose exemplary rule might have appeared to be for the alleviation of the pains and miseries of a particular group, but which in reality is for the advancement of humanism...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#25. Milwaukee has more bars and more churches per capita than almost any other city in North America. I'm not sure if there's a relationship in that. Does too much prayer cause you to drink? Or vice versa?
Nanci Rathbun
#26. True heroes and ideas never fall in the final sense of the word. They can only encounter temporary setbacks in their difficult journey to progress and success,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#27. To tell you the truth. I am a wild and passionate novelist. I am therefore easily given over to telling wild and passionate lies.
Val Edward Simone
#28. In my fantasy world everyone has a happy ending. No one is told who they should be, how they should feel, who they are allowed to love, what they should believe and how they should look. Sadly, everyone in my world can't seem to get along with one another because everyone is so darn different.
Shannon L. Alder
#29. He comes.
And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up.
Casey Renee Kiser
#30. In life there are heads and there are tails however when one starts to excrete thoughts out of the latter and proceed to relieve yourself out of the former than you've become too full of yourself.
Ryan Cayne
#31. People were so scared of telling the truth because the truth was chaotic and complicated and decidedly uncool, but uncool was the way I rolled. Or it would be if I used tired old phrases like 'That's the way I roll', which I so don't.
Sarra Manning
#32. Remember these, Sons! Truth presented with tenderness enriches the soul of man and enhances humanity in the process. A Franco-Cameroonian relation based on truth and nurtured with tenderness will be to the benefit not only of Kamerun and France, but also of mankind as a whole.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#33. There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.
[Interview, The Paris Review, Summer 1956]
Dorothy Parker
#34. Hold onto your creativity, that idealism that is rooted in some degree of innocence and a firm belief in something finer than the things we already have.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#35. Huh! Mankind always comes up with ideas to make up for the follies of the status quo. But what happens if those ideas are inflexible and fail to respond to the changing times. They end up betraying the people who believed in them.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#36. A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and truth in front of patriotic passion.
H.L. Mencken
#37. It seems we would rather have a past filled with great scientists than just great artists and writers who could dream up these wonderful and awe-inspiring creations. It's a strange irony: we're spending our time trying to find the truth in our past, but creating myths of ourselves in the present.
Aditya Iyengar
#38. And make no mistake, my friend, your pointless life will end; but before you go, can you look at the truth?
Morrissey
#39. I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.
Jasper Fforde
#40. Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert. Those are the guys I look at who are telling me pretty much the truth. And they throw humor into it which makes it much more interesting to listen to.
Grace Slick
#41. Boys say they don't mind how you get your hair done. But then they leave you for someone with really great standard girl hair and the next thing you know you're alone with a masculine crop crying into your granola.
Alexa Chung
#42. Women exist to put right all the wrongs men do and to keep them from making a complete pig's ear of the world.
Jayne Fresina
#43. Two steps forward ... one step back ... I've always hated that old cliche too ... I believe that we should all be able to dance through life and only change the tempo now and then.
Isabelle Rowan
#44. People ... ladies, I mean ... they dye their hair sometimes," I explained to him. "So one day they have red hair and another day they have brown hair. It doesn't matter," I said. "They're still the same lady.
Diane Chamberlain
#45. A general truth is to have a good sense of humor. Roll with the punches of life's ups and downs. Laughing at yourself always helps.
Jill Abramson
#46. Something tells me you were never a Girl Scout.
Gwenda Bond
#47. Smartass Disciple: Master, how could I know that you've told me the whole truth?
Master of Stupidity: Someday. [Never on earth. Otherwise I'd lose you and my job]
Toba Beta
#48. ...only the dreamers of a dream are capable of translating their dreams into worthy practical endeavors that are devoid of haunting errors. After all, they are the ones who carefully observed the link between their dreams and reality; they are the ones who worked consciously to blend them into one.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#49. In truth, Freud sees nothing and understands nothing.
Gilles Deleuze
#50. Leigh did what any sane female faced with such an e-mail would do: deleted it to resist the temptation of replying, cleared her trash to resist the temptation of recalling it, and then called tech support to restore all her recently deleted e-mails. (Chasing Harry Winston)
Lauren Weisberger
#51. Do what? Come up with a clever pun referencing Jerome's demonic status? The truth is, I usually keep a stash of them on hand and -
Richelle Mead
#52. That's not a bad word ... hate and war are bad words, but fuck isn't.
Judy Blume
#53. The selfish and self-centered have a hard time being kind, even though you and I know that kindness is a source of relief to the soul.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#55. Deke: 'You know what I'm wonderin'?'
Malachi: 'No, and to tell the truth, I don't care'
Deke: 'I'm wonderin' how you've managed to live to the ripe old age of 36, when it's a known fact that you've been brain-dead since birth'
'Strength of will', was the flat reply
Lynn Turner
#56. Nanny Ogg had a pragmatic attitude to the truth; she told it if it was convenient and she couldn't be bothered to make up something more interesting.
Terry Pratchett
#57. Dad, is she serious?"
John shrugged. "I argue with your Mama, I sleep on the couch and she doesn't feed me. So i dont argue with your mama.
Molly McAdams
#58. ...True classical dropouts in society are those who avoid difficult challenges and cling to the first opportunity that comes their way. They never test their talents. These latent talents will only help to produce the next cycle of dropouts...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#59. Rumi and Shams bring to our lives the simple truth that we are not alone, that God really does care. And God's joyous love for each of us is rivaled only by Her divine sense of humor.
Jamila Hammad
#60. Humor is what happens when we're told the truth quicker and more directly than we're used to.
George Saunders
#61. I think great humor lies in playing the truth of a situation. I see myself as a performer and that applies to a Greek drama or a modern comedy.
Brendan Coyle
#62. Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.
David Sedaris
#63. [There's a] point where you have to leave the dough alone. It's silly to anthropomorphize bread, but I love the fact that it needs to sit quietly, to retreat from touch and noise and drama, in order to evolve.
I have to admit, I often feel that way myself.
Jodi Picoult
#64. The line between humor and bad taste is your audience, in which some people will find everything offensive, and some people will find nothing offensive, but the truth is that most humor originates in what would be called bad taste.
Robert Mankoff
#65. A woman has to be intelligent, have charm, a sense of humor, and be kind. It's the same qualities I require from a man.
Catherine Deneuve
#66. Dennis hit him with the [Sheri] Tepper. It was a hardback book, six hundred pages of wonder and adventure and a little preachiness mixed in.
Margaret Ball
#67. Perhaps fate has a way of turning things around and making something good out of the action of someone who failed humanity without meaning to.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#68. I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
Harry Truman
#69. You know what truth is? [ ... ] It's some crazy thing my neighbor believes. If I want to make friends with him, I ask him what he believes. He tells me, and I say, Yeah, yeah - ain't it the truth?
Kurt Vonnegut
#70. I know everybody wants humor to be subversive and speak truth to power. I don't think power's been listening, incidentally.
Robert Mankoff
#71. Why, my goodness, honey. After looking at all those pictures of seraphic and perspirationless babes for so long in the privacy of a foxhole, what is a poor doughfoot going to do when he comes home and discovers that American women are, after all, biological and given, under stress, to shiny noses?
Margaret Mitchell
#72. The true leaders of our time, the legends of this world or the movers of the movers are the towering figures that are blessed with beautiful minds, receptive ears and directing voices. They are the ones we should emulate in life.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#73. I really am happy for Kiley. And for you and every other happily married lady. Except for that I'm not happy for you. I kind of want you all to drop dead.
Rainbow Rowell
#74. Stephen King has inspired me with his humor and honesty, and his admonition that the author's job is to tell the truth.
Barry Eisler
#75. ...A legendary leader distinguishes himself as someone who gets ahead of his people from an impasse and futile general consensus, and then finds new grounds that constitute the base from which a unique course of his people's destiny is charted...
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#76. I hate when people say 'I see'. It doesn't mean anything and I think it's hostile. Whenever anyone tells me 'I see' I think they're really saying 'Fuck you'.
Peter Cameron
#77. The truth is, I feel myself being fascinated and repelled by her: She's both a mirror of myself and a door to part of this island that I'm not.
Maggie Stiefvater
#78. Societies and people that come close to being happy are those that do well in narrowing the disparity between their desires and their needs, especially the material things of life.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#79. The statement 'There is nothing more American than an Indian' happens to be a multidimensional paradox. Try and not say too many of those. That might open your mind to ideas that could cause sanity point loss.
Charles Slagle
#80. That was when I realised a sad but incontrovertible truth: I was a geek, and there was no getting around it. I could dress in Kate's clothes, but it didn't make me Kate.
Sharon Sant
#81. Sure, I am funny and have a good sense of humor. Mostly, though, I just tell the truth. The internal dialogue people have in their heads - I just write it.
Kara Swisher
#82. We are puzzle pieces, bragging about being puzzle pieces, rather than being the picture.
Tom Althouse
#83. I believe that ignorance is the root of all evil.
And that no one knows the truth.
Molly Ivins
#84. They deem him their worst enemy who tells them the truth. -Plato, philosopher (427-347 BCE)
Plato
#85. Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor.
Charles Willeford
#86. The truth is Canada is a cloud-cuckoo-land, an insufferably rich country governed by idiots, its self-made problems offering comic relief to the ills of the real world out there, where famine and racial strife and vandals in office are the unhappy rule.
Mordecai Richler
#87. Mostly you love them and you cherish their milestones but occasionally you do want to tape them to a chair. That would be child abuse, DO NOT TAPE YOUR CHILDREN TO CHAIRS. If you want to tape your baby dolls to chairs, be my guest. I am fairly certain that there isn't like a Cabbage Patch CPS.
E. A. Davis
#88. My father chose my name , and my last name was chosen by my ancestors . That's enough, I myself choose my way
Ali Shariati
#89. Temporis filia veritas; cui me obstetricari non pudet.
Truth is the daughter of time, and I feel no shame in being her midwife.
Johannes Kepler
#90. It's hard to believe that the truth lies within us. What about the churches, temples, mosques, bibles and scriptures? They offer comfort. If they cause you discomfort, toss them.
Art Hochberg
#91. Everyone seemed to be deliberately not looking at her, the way people did when you had food in your teeth and they didn't want to tell you, so they kept trying not to see.
Liane Moriarty
#92. The notion of whether there would be some kind of organization in this potluck deal? Shouldn't somebody get on the phone and call the guest list? What if they ended up with too many deviled eggs?
'There is no such thing as too many deviled eggs,' said Cynthia.
Jan Karon
#93. When somebody you love dies, a phase of life's innocence dies with that person, and a part of you dies as well.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#94. It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate.
Sloane Crosley
#95. If you tell me the truth, the truth I'll proclaim.
If you tell me a lie, you'll be fair game.
Belva Rae Staples
#96. Some of us go full circle. Some of us blindly go nowhere. The circle doesn't have to be very large to make a point, kick your ass and/or be entertaining. Remember that and stay light. Even the deaf know good music when they hear it.
Jason Mraz
#97. ...Never opt for war, no matter how simple it may seem, especially when you know that peace is achievable, even if achieving that peace entails going through a complicated and protracted process,
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#98. Some of what we learned early on turned out to be true (the earth is round; if you want a friend be a friend; cleanliness is next to impossible) and some of it turned out to be false (Santa Claus; the Tooth Fairy; Kansas is more fun than Oz).
Peter McWilliams
#99. A man can't talk of true happiness if he has never known true love - the trusting, selfless and unconditional love that I took for granted.
Janvier Chouteu-Chando
#100. I never talk back. I listen and always remember your every word, so come pen or mouse, never forget that I will treasure your thoughts forever. Yours truly, Paper.
L.M. Fields
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