Paul Rudnick Famous Quotes & Sayings

Browse top 24 famous quotes and sayings by Paul Rudnick. Read & share Paul Rudnick quotes pictures with friends. Free using on Facebook, Twitter, blogs.

Top 24 Paul Rudnick Quotes

#1. There was a cable-TV program that documented how Peeps are made, and it showed unlimited hordes of Peeps bouncing merrily down a conveyor belt, right toward the camera. I came. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#2. Rocher was on the floor, crawling on her stomach toward Jate's feet. "I love you ... ," she kept repeating, in a demonic whisper. "I have to show you ... my butt. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#3. My compulsive thoughts aren't even thoughts, they're absolute certainties and obeying them isn't a choice. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#4. If God didn't want you to have it, He would never have let you see it. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#5. Most gay bashers will be wearing what gay people had on four years earlier - only in polyester with a Penney's label. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#6. A person's bathroom, I believe, is the only three-dimensional expression of their soul. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#7. Does she really need that many pairs of kneesocks? Aren't kneesocks just chastity belts for your shins? - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#8. The only thing I have ever been asked [by a pollster] was the age at which I first indulged in oral sex (which, since it was a Yale Daily News poll, meant kissing). - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#9. I was once all by myself in a house on Fire Island. Where I compared the original cast recordings of two different versions of The Wild Party. A helicopter should have descended and taken me away to a gay penal colony. But of course, I was already there. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#10. State your name."
"Venice Huber."
"Occupation?"
"Well, it's hard to say. I don't model, land of the seventeen bimbos. I don't act - after all, isn't an actress just a model who won't shut up? Let's say, oh - homemaker. Could you die? - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#11. I am not! said the guy's girlfriend, who was wearing a very short skirt, very high heels and the kind of complicated hairstyle that looks like it needs blueprints and a construction crew. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#12. In so many YA books the heroine, who's just a regular girl, has to choose between two dreamboats who are both, for no particular reason, madly in love with her, which is probably why these books are labeled fiction. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#13. I never got that show - Les Miz. It's about the French guy, right, who steals a loaf of bread, and then he suffers for the rest of his life. For Toast. Get over it! - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#14. Oh my God. I love rich people. And royalty are the best because they're rich people who can't be fires. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#15. Most convicted felons are just people who were not taken to museums or Broadway musicals as children. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#16. Dysmorphia is when someone looks in the mirror, and sees something else. While I studied my own whatever I was, I decided that maybe everyone has at least a touch of dysmorphia; maybe it's impossible for anyone to ever truly know what they look like. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#17. Sometimes I think that we should send all of the Killer Mediums to Afghanistan because al-Qaeda wouldn't stand a chance. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#18. I love [my parents], but what if I could really talk to them? I mean, what if they had some answers? Or would that just be too weird? - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#19. I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people, as if even straight people are like that. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#20. I'm here," I continued, "to guide you into the light of truth, decency and perhaps pants. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#21. No one under the age of eighteen needs a cell phone unless they're a surgeon, a drug dealer, or a prostitute. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#22. I believe in a benevolent God not because He created the Grand Canyon or Michelangelo, but because He gave us snacks. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#23. There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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#24. Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. It's a matter of doing everything you can to avoid writing, until it is about four in the morning and you reach the point where you have to write. - Author: Paul Rudnick
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