Top 100 Quotes About Dark Humor
#1. I'm a pretty tenacious person; I get that from my mom. So sometimes, I use dark humor. I can't take myself too seriously.
Art Alexakis
#2. I like dark humor. My favorite movie of all time is 'Harold and Maude.'
Leslie Mann
#3. Most people don't understand what humor is. They think it's something lighthearted and cheerful. Like 'good humor.' But it isn't. It's looking into the darkness and spitting at it with a joke. Humor is dark. Humor is that we're all going to die.
B.G. Harlen
#4. I don't think it's ever easy to be funny. I find it easy to amuse myself with a certain sort of cynical dark humor that tends toward the meaner side, like my character in Happy Gilmore. Those kinds of characters come easily to me.
Ben Stiller
#6. That dark humor has always been a part of what I've done. It's always been somewhat tongue-in-cheek.
El-P
#7. I do dark [humor]. I like people who are silly and weird and people who are surprising and good at what they do.
Anthony Jeselnik
#8. I love dark humor. I love things that are so grounded in life, but just happen to be just a little bit twisted because my sense of humor is a little bit twisted. I love jokes that shouldn't be funny, but are. Those types of things just really make me laugh.
Rockmond Dunbar
#9. I love dark humor that crosses the line and makes you say, 'That's so wrong!' And that's 'Family Guy' to me.
Elena Satine
#10. Dark humor appealed to me because it was a bigger laugh than you could get with anything else. Seeing people laugh at something inappropriate with their whole bodies, a guttural, visceral laugh beyond a mere "hah."
Anthony Jeselnik
#11. Don't tell me it's going to fucking be okay! I am not okay with being that fucker's pinata!
Nenia Campbell
#12. If you have to explain your sense of humor, then you are performing for the wrong crowd.
Shannon L. Alder
#13. I think a sense of humor will help get a girl out of a dark place.
Twyla Tharp
#14. Dave walked closer to me, his dark eyes combing my every move. "Do you always hold your guitar like that?"
I dropped my pick. "Do you always shop at Hot Topic?
Tara Kelly
#15. It makes no difference what you wear, really. I'll put you in a dark grey. I believe I have some left over from a funeral. says the dressmaker.
Maryrose Wood
#16. You think this is funny?" I snorted. "You would. Your sense of humor is so dark, even the lesser demons don't get you.
Pippa DaCosta
#17. Well, fame is a drug and when you take it away from an addict, things can get ugly.
Melissa Jo Peltier
#18. Do I look like a shallow Summer girl to you?' She tossed her silver hair, offended. 'I'm a Winter Court royal. I kill silly Summer flowerlets with frost when I yawn.
Vicki Keire
#19. You have really nice teeth, Terry said and thought they could be excellent for his collection of human body parts.
Jonas Eriksson
#20. So what did you do, drug me, stuff me in the trunk, then dump me like a sacrificial offering into that vampire's coffin? - Shella
Krista Alasti
#21. Smoking is extremely hazardous to you and those around you it said on the label. He glanced around. The few termites that might thrive down here could probably handle it.
Jussi Adler-Olsen
#22. Skin color doesn't make you different,' Melody said. 'We're all the same on the inside.' 'The only people who ever say that,' Raymon replied, 'are white.
Jodi Picoult
#23. Terry loved candlelight dinners and red wine. It was a nice contrast from work.
And killing people.
Jonas Eriksson
#24. He was a strange mix of Heinrich Himmler and Barney the Dinosaur.
Jonas Eriksson
#25. I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.
Ron Swanson
#26. I like very dry humor. I don't like things that are over the top. I like subtlety. I like things that are nonchalant. I like characters that are sort of monotone and based in dark comedy.
Emily Rios
#27. Dennis, please. I don't know what-"
"Shut the fuck up, and stop playing me for an idiot. And secondly, and more importantly, I've unearthed some disturbing information about you which I want to discuss in more detail before I fill you with holes.
Simon Kernick
#28. You couldn't find your dick in the dark, you scheming, sleaze-mongering scumwad.
Nenia Campbell
#29. Got here half an hour ago and had a look, eyeballin' it," Sawyer said. "It's murder, all right. Tell you something else - the sun went down, and it's as dark as the inside of a horses's ass out here."
"You're sure?"
"Well, I've never actually been inside a horses's ass.
John Sandford
#30. It's perfectly okay to paraphrase Nietzche: if you keep your focus, eventually your focus will keep you. Sometimes without parole.
Stephen King
#31. All life is in vain, for Death makes a nonsense of pain.
Gasmaskman
#32. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
Groucho Marx
#33. Forget everything that surrounds you. Think that there's just you and me in this wide world.
Olga Goa
#34. The train hit her with the sound of a meat-filled hefty bag smacking the pavement, and the effect was much the same, I guess. (Dark City Lights)
Warren Moore
#35. He was an Atlantean ... older than dirt and dirt's great-grandfather.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#36. Wearing dark denim, he look more like one of those guys in GQ magazine than a soulless alien version of the goat-sucking chupacabra.
Jennifer L. Armentrout
#37. In order to avoid this bitter end, we would all have to be born again, and born with the knowledge of alternatives. Even then?
Maya Angelou
#38. Nothing shows you the straight line from here to death like a list.
Chuck Palahniuk
#39. Maybe tranquility is the dirt under my nails. I know it's there but I never feel like digging it out.
Casey Renee Kiser
#40. I'm afraid that if we move on to such topics, I won't be able to let you go safe and sound.
Olga Goa
#41. What happens when the hitcher and the driver are equally murderous?
Steve Aylett
#42. I undid the wrappings with great curiosity, for Holmes did not normally give gifts. I opened the dark velvet jewller's box and found inside a shiny new set of picklocks, a younger version of his own. Holmes, ever the romantic. Mrs. Hudson would be pleased.
Laurie R. King
#44. Perhaps naively I thought people understand what humor was, that it was invented by the human race to cope with the dark areas of life, problems and terrors.
Bill Forsyth
#45. Even in the dark, I see hints of a smile creep onto her face.
"Yeah. You are a smooth talker."
I give her a wounded frown."Sweetheart, would I ever lie to you?"
"Don't try. I'd see right through it." I give her a low laugh. "Fair enough.
Marie Lu
#46. She'd woken up with a receipt for condoms. That much she knew. But had she used them? Even if she had, a little voice in the back of her head yelled, "Glow-in-the-dark condoms from the Dollar Store, probably expired!
Samantha Bohrman
#47. There are fears that Britain could be facing a double-dip recession, or worse still, a double-dip with misery sprinkles and fuck-where's-my-job-sauce.
Frankie Boyle
#48. Sithaer's dark furies," Dakar swore. "Why do I stay with you?"
"For maudlin entertainment, no doubt.
Janny Wurts
#49. I swear I won't touch you even with a finger until you ask me yourself.
Olga Goa
#50. I make love like sausage is to bacon as brick is to blanket. Somebody get me some utensils. And some lubrication (not Castrol Motor Oil).
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#51. I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik's artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that's all fake heart and no brain is what's commonly called a "politician," and must be destroyed.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#52. Ariadne made an impression on you, and that's great. But life is not literature. Sooner or later, the spell wears off, the romantic feelings disappear, and you're left watching somebody's body disintegrate. You start with a love story, you end up manacled to an hourglass, watching the sands run out.
Paul Murray
#53. I have long admired Caroline Leavitt's probing insight into people, her wit and compassion, her ability to find humor in dark situations, and conversely, her tenderness towards characters.
Dan Chaon
#54. It is important to correct bad behavior one toe at a time.
Gasmaskman
#55. Walking away from her ... Now that was a whole different section of the bookstore.
-Markus, Dark Desires at Midnight
Jessica Lee
#56. ...I could feel her burrowing into my heart. I didn't know if the burrowing was like a kitten cuddling up to its mother or if it was like a chigger depositing its larvae underneath the skin of my ankles.
Jason Porter
#57. Roy Blount, who is the funniest person I know, journeys deep into the dark heart of humor and brings back a wonderfully insightful, superbly crafted song of the soul that had me laughing and crying too
Dave Barry
#58. Where d'you get the knife?" He wished he had one.
"He gave it to me." There was a crumpled shape in the shadows by the wall, the matting all around soaked with dark blood. "This way.
Joe Abercrombie
#59. I don't do vague. If I want to call you a coward, I will bock at you in no uncertain terms.
Sherrilyn Kenyon
#60. The price for using dark magic is death, so that goes a long way toward deterring users.
Devon Monk
#61. I used to have a big dog, a rottweiler, to guard the place. One night I was working late, and he was outside barking in the snow. He wouldn't stop. Then he stopped. I went out ten minutes later with a lamp, and there was a ring of wolves eating my dog.
Martin Cruz Smith
#62. Love is the point where Yes meets Yesterday, and that's why I put the No in Now.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#63. We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn't have enough time to have sex with me.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#64. I thought about getting out and looking for some kind of clue, until I realized how silly that was. Did I think I was Tonto, faithful Indian guide? I couldn't look at a bent twig and tell how many white men had been past in the last hour.
Jeff Lindsay
#65. The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them.
Rob Thurman
#66. How can we cash out-of-town checks when don't know whether a town's still there?
Pat Frank
#67. I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay.
Olga Goa
#68. The three women laughing over there? Dark wavy hair, coffee skin, and beautiful matching sets of big, lovely - "
I slapped him on the arm.
"Hey. Eyes. I was going to say eyes. What were you thinking?
Devon Monk
#69. He had to say that the thing he found most attractive about her was that she had tried to kill herself. Now that was interesting
sexy, almost, in a morbid kind of way.
Nick Hornby
#70. She told me she loved me. She told me a lot of things. Some of those things were true, and some of those may or may not have been true. It's kind of hard to tell, because to be honest, I wasn't listening.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#71. It's so hard being goth. You have to have a bad time everywhere.
Clint Catalyst
#72. Fear and anger, Yoda had often warned him, were slaves to the dark side. Vaguely, Luke wondered which side curiosity served.
Timothy Zahn
#73. I had aimed at Mars and was about to hit Venus; unquestionably the all-time cosmic record for poor shots.
Edgar Rice Burroughs
#74. Ever since I saw you" - she pulled me closer and draped both of my legs over her shoulders. Her eyes blazed with hunger - "I have just wanted to eat you up.
Elizabeth Morgan
#75. I love that she loves me a 10, on a 5-point scale. Well, I know it's a 5-point scale, though I asked her on a 1-100 scale.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#77. You're dealing with a character who is, at some points, quite insane. And I hope that any wicked, dark sense of humor Eric exhibits comes out of the fact that he'd been pushed to the point where it seems quite sensible to say some of the ridiculous things he says.
Brandon Lee
#78. People always say humour helps to avoid the dark things in life. I think it's the opposite. Humour helps us understand and partner with the sadness and beauty of life. And sometimes, because we're bathed in laughter, we are protected. Or at least, humour can help us see the world differently.
Bruce McCulloch
#79. There is no bottom to the cake. I'm digging through the kind of soil that supports rhododendrons: it's that dark.
Joanna Walsh
#80. I have a really dark, rich, thick sense of humor.
Inga Muscio
#81. Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed.
Gasmaskman
#82. He sits next to me, careful to avoid my hair that's splayed out around my head like blood. A bullet to the forehead, boom, blond waves everywhere.
Lauren DeStefano
#83. Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you'll never get your balls back. - Simon Hunt
Dannika Dark
#84. Short fiction is like low relief. And if your story has no humor in it, then you're trying to look at something in the pitch dark. With the light of humor, it throws what you're writing into relief so that you can actually see it.
Elizabeth McCracken
#85. A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.
P.G. Wodehouse
#86. I have a dark sense of humor,' Fanny explained.
'What's that supposed to mean?' asked Honor.
'It means I'm funny once you get to know me,' Fanny said.
Allegra Goodman
#87. A man's greatest treasures are his illusions - Durzo Blint
Brent Weeks
#88. I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.
Michael Buble
#89. Ian stepped out to where he knew I could clearly see and identify his tall, dark, and dangerous self.
Lisa Shearin
#90. Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.
Robert Bloch
#91. I unwrapped my love for her like one might unwrap leftovers. Gotta eat up the old stuff first, as a cannibal might say in a retirement home.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#92. Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#93. We made love like two people trying to make love like three people in the trunk of a car.
Dark Jar Tin Zoo
#94. Everyone's always interested in a dark theme, especially when there's humor connected to it. It seems like that helps, if that's an integral and organic part of the whole story.
Robert De Niro
#95. Arik didn't know how long he'd been in hell. Time was one never-ending, no-lube f&*k when you were in the dark and in agony.
Larissa Ione
#96. Kill them with kindness, slay them with a smile and murder them with a kiss. ~Caesar~ The Goodbye Man.
A. Giannoccaro
#97. But having people meet my family was a secret fear. It would be like taking someone to a dark room to show them my anal fissures, and you can't just go introducing everybody to your anal fissures. Only special people get to see such as that.
Harrison Scott Key
#98. Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren't about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that.
Ice Cube
#99. By the end, she cleaned the house so much that she had dust in her eyes and her throat, her knees were scrapped a little and her back ached while she suffered from weary arms. But after everything was done, the once dark, dingy and dirty house was shining bright and looked so alive!
Prerna Varma
#100. He comes.
And he comes
loaded
with noise pollution.
If I ever prayed for anything,
it was for a man
to shut up.
Casey Renee Kiser
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