Quotes About A Cactus

#1. Personally, I'd rather shove a cactus up my ass, but apparently that option isn't on the table, so I might as well just rip the Band-Aid off now and get it over with.

Katja Millay

#2. Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings

Tre Cool

#3. I want my body to help fertilize the growth of a cactus or cliff rose or sagebrush or tree.

Doug Peacock

#4. Hope is not a resting place but a starting point - a cactus, not a cushion.

H. Jackson Brown Jr.

#5. Go fuck a cactus, classless cunt.

H.M. Ward

#6. I'll save me money, thanks. Already diagnosed meself, anyway. I'm a cactus.'
'Cactus? Right. Great work, there, Doc. I'm glad you're not my bloody doctor.

Bill Condon

#7. A decent man would stand out like a cactus on an ice floe.

Timothy Egan

#8. People trample over flowers, yet only to embrace a cactus.

James Joyce

#9. I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige.

Ilona Andrews

#10. Mexican cars are just going to be lazy, feckless, flatulent, overweight, leaning against a fence asleep looking at a cactus with a blanket with a hole in the middle on as a coat.

Richard Hammond

#11. Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.

Joyce Meyer

#12. Who wants to become a writer? And why? ... It's the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower of life, even if it's a cactus.

Enid Bagnold

#13. Jealousy is like a cactus its respond and reaction is thorny

Kishore Bansal

#14. She was elusive. She was today. She was tomorrow. She was the faintest scent of a cactus flower, the flitting shadow of an elf owl. We did not know what to make of her. In our minds we tried to pin her to a cork board like a butterfly, but the pin merely went through and away she flew.

Jerry Spinelli

#15. There was a product on late night TV that you could attach to your garden hose - "You can water your hard-to-reach plants with this." Who would make their plants hard to reach? That seems so very mean. I know you need water, but I'm going to make you hard to reach. "Think like a cactus!"

Mitch Hedberg

#16. Neville had accidentally transplanted his own ears onto a cactus.

J.K. Rowling

#17. I have learned the difference between a cactus and a caucus. On a cactus, the pricks are on the outside.

Mo Udall

#18. That craptastical, gutless, son-of-a-cactus-humping butt monkey!!

Gemma Halliday

#19. What is the meaning of a cactus flower? It exists, that's all.

Marty Rubin

#20. A CACTUS DOESN'T LIVE in the desert because it likes the desert; it lives there because the desert hasn't killed it yet.

Hope Jahren

#21. My dad is like a cactus - introverted and tough. I'm a people person, like my mom, but I got my competitiveness from my dad. He came to this country from Belarus with nothing and built a real business. He's my hero for giving me that need to run a business and for having enormous confidence in me.

Gary Vaynerchuk

#22. I'm like the trunk of a cactus, I suppose." she told him. "I take in a dose of culture and time with friends, then I retreat and go live on it for a while until I get thirsty again.

Nancy Horan

#23. You're pretty low maintenance, as women go."
"I am, am I?" She sounded amused.
"Yeah. Like a cactus.

Roxanne Snopek

#24. So I came down here, to breathe dust and walk with the dogs-- to look at a rock or a cactus and know that I am the first person to see that cactus and that rock.

Douglas Coupland

#25. Anger was simple, self-sustaining as a cactus. You couldn't look too closely at it, lest the spines get you in the eye.

Rebecca Scherm

#26. The body can be a marvel of resiliency, a cactus when it comes to sleep - capable of surviving on mere drops.

Karen Russell

#27. It was the act of a gentleman, and Damian was as gentle as a cactus.

Aishabella Sheikh

#28. About a month ago I got a cactus. A week later, it died. I was really depressed because I was like, 'Damn! I am less nurturing than a desert.

Demetri Martin

#29. Professor Butts walks in his sleep, strolls through a cactus field in his bare feet, and screams out an idea for a self-operating napkin.

Rube Goldberg

#30. A whale is as unique as a cactus. But don't ask a whale to survive Death Valley. We all have special gifts. Where we use them and how determines whether we actually complete something.

Max De Pree

#31. He would take a cactus home if Jane recommended it as toilet paper. Soon

Trudy Wallis

#32. The one thing that seems to be consistent through all my work that I like, and I experimented a lot, is the viewer is allowed to meditate on something that normally we don't stop and stare at, whether it's people or a cactus.

Richard Misrach

#33. It was nice talking to her. Comfortable. Like an old pair of jeans -
"But I still have to arrest you."
- that had been rolled in a cactus plant.

Darynda Jones

#34. What a surprise. That boy doesn't have the sense God gave a cactus.

Kathleen Peacock

#35. Because you have been created by God as a unique person, his plan to grow you will not look the same as his plan to grow anyone else. What would grow an orchid would drown a cactus.

John Ortberg

#36. Very often, people are obsessed with what others think of them. It's like if a flower wants to be a cactus or a palm but it's not. A flower is a flower, and that's enough. That's all you have to do is be a flower.

Stjepan Hauser

#37. There is a great independence, and a confident immunity to risk, in all drinks made out of cactus.

Alan LeMay

#38. Texas is a hell hole, man. Dirt, cactus, lizards, dirt, cactus, the Bush family ...

Christopher Titus

#39. I blew the horn a few times, hoping to call up an iguana. Get the buggers moving. They were out there, I knew, in that goddamn sea of cactus
hunkered down, barely breathing, and every one of the stinking little bastards was loaded with deadly poison.

Hunter S. Thompson

#40. Take the rose - most people think it very beautiful: I don't care for It at all. I prefer the cactus, for the simple reason that it has a more interesting personality. It has wonderfully adapted itself to its surroundings! It is the best illustration of the theory of evolution in plant life.

Charles Proteus Steinmetz

#41. He loved politics in large part exactly because it meant time spent with men like Cactus Jack Garner(who would be remembered for observing that the vice presidency was not worth a pitcher of warm piss).

David McCullough

#42. John flung himself into a pseudo-karate stance, one hand poised behind him and one in front, posed like a cartoon cactus. I thought for an odd moment he had moved his limbs so fast they had made that whoosh sound through air but then I realized John was making that sound with his mouth.

David Wong

#43. I remember very clearly someone saying, 'Don't shake hands with the cactus,' and I thought, 'Well, why not? What could possibly go wrong?' Shaking hands is a friendly gesture.

Benedict Cumberbatch

#44. Juno MacGuff: Thanks a heap coyote ugly. This cactus-gram stings worse than your abandonment.

Diablo Cody

#45. In Mexico, when we want to speak deep secrets, we drink pulgue together. It is a drink made from the cactus plant, and when you take the bottle from your mouth, it leaves a string behind, between the mouth and the bottle, like a spider's web. It shows that the truth sticks inside.

Alejandro Jodorowsky

#46. The Vengeance's sides and bow were covered in metal spikes, making it resemble a large floating cactus.

Chris Colfer

#47. How dare you. Do you have any idea who I am?" Laurence whined.
"I'm no cactus expert, but I know a prick when I see one.

Mark A. Cooper

#48. A creative person has to create. It doesn't really matter what you create. If such a dancer wanted to go out and build the cactus gardens where he could, in Mexico, let him do that, but something that is creative has to go on.

Katherine Dunham

#49. My father was Abe Burrows, who was a Broadway legend. 'Guys and Dolls,' 'How to Succeed,' 'Cactus Flower,' '40 Karats,' 'Can-Can,' 'Happy Hunting,' 'Reclining Figure,' it goes on. He was a legend, and when I was growing up, I was Abe Burrows' kid. That was my self-esteem.

James Burrows

#50. Key West is the place where your sickly house plant back in New York grows to 10 ft. It's also the place where an 8-ft. cactus, the century plant, produces a huge yellow flower every great once in a while, like a robot proffering a bouquet. After the plant flowers, it dies.

Edmund White

#51. Lost Cactus is a cornucopia of sights, sounds and inhabitants completely foreign to a little squirrel like Sammy, but attempting to set him straight will only complicate matters.

John Hopkins

#52. On Monday, there was a new boy at Kizzy's school.
"Yum," said Evie weakly.
"Be praised, O Lords of boy flesh. We thank thee for they bounty," whispered Cactus.
"Amen," said Kizzy, staring.

Laini Taylor

#53. Focusing on the negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult

TobyMac

#54. Come on, Elmer," he said to his horse. "Let's find a nice prickly cactus you can toss me into.

Abigail Roux

#55. Anyone can win a slam-dunk contest. The real Superman is dead. He was assassinated by Pat Riley. I'm the Big Cactus now and ready to roll again.

Shaquille O'Neal

#56. I packed my stuff, left my cactus BILLY with the neighbors, and got a taxi to the bus station.

Gerry Alanguilan

#57. Part of her soul ... gloried in the sheer bodacious unnaturalness of it. Putting a great blue-green water park smack down in the red desert complete with cactus, trading posts, genuine Navajo Indians, and five kinds of rattlesnakes was theater of the absurd at its most outrageous.

Nevada Barr

#58. You can't see anything from a car; you've got to get out of the goddamn contraption and walk, better yet crawl, on hands and knees, over the sandstone and through the thornbrush and cactus. When traces of blood begin to mark your trail, you'll see something, maybe.

Edward Abbey

#59. It spread up the sides of the pit by the third or fourth day of our imprisonment, and its cactus-like branches formed a carmine fringe to the edges of our triangular window.

H.G.Wells

#60. You have a very prickly exterior that needs to be navigated very carefully. Kind of like a really sexy cactus.

Michelle Rowen

#61. My neighbor raised a shaking index finger to point at the saguaro. "That moving cactus ... and the big bug ... and you, you spooky bastard. What are you?
I stuffed my hands in my pockets and grinned winningly at him. "Why, I'm the Antichrist, of course.

Kevin Hearne

#62. You told us to leave you in the desert, because you planned to start a new life as cactus," Catarina said, her voice flat. "Then you conjured up tiny needles and threw them at us. With pinpoint accuracy.

Cassandra Clare

#63. Almost all traditions point a big finger in the same direction, no matter what our background, one must only look up and you will see it hanging over you, pointing you somewhere, and if that place terrifies you, than you know you are on the right path.

Robert Bonomo

#64. You could drop Tony Stark naked in the middle of the desert and he'd fly out in a jet made of sand and cactus needles. It's not his *stuff* that gives him power. It's his *brain*. Try using yours. You'll be amazed the difference it makes.

Charles Soule