Top 100 Punch Quotes
#1. You've got to face facts and the fact is life is a joke, a fucking bad joke, or, no, a bad fucking joke. There's no point taking it seriously because whatever happens, and I mean whatever the fuck, the punch line is the same: you go out horizontally. You see the point? No fucking point.
Jeet Thayil
#2. Women are heavyweight boxers; only, they punch with words, not fists.
Matshona Dhliwayo
#3. It is with a company as it is with a punch, everything depends upon the ingredients of which it in composed.
Christian Nestell Bovee
#4. If you tell me I'm sensible in addition to normal and wise, I'm going to punch you in the stomach.
J.D. Robb
#5. In actuality, there's nothing to do about a useless, recurring depression. A person could become disconsolate or angry. Even if they're enraged enough to punch something, they won't find a target. A huge organization... they wish that some huge, evil organization existed. That becomes our dream...
Tatsuhiko Takimoto
#6. She makes for the closest training building, and I take my time following, watching the way she moves: angry, favoring her right leg, must have bruised the left in practice, keeps clenching that right fist - probably because she wants to punch me with it.
Sabaa Tahir
#7. It has been said that the Fed's job is to take the punch bowl away just as the party gets going, raising interest rates when the economy is growing too fast and inflation threatens.
Alex Berenson
#8. I hope I can improve. I'm far from perfect. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if I fought myself. I think it would be a one-round KO. But if I was fighting myself, I know I could take my best punch. No, make that two rounds. I would knock myself out in two rounds.
Mike Tyson
#9. We need to punch back against the extremes of both the left and the right and define the terms of the debate ourselves.
John Avlon
#10. Golfers don't fist fight. They cuss a bit. But they wouldn't punch anything or anybody. They might hurt their hands and have to change their grip.
Dan Jenkins
#11. I'm still not a very good white wine, but I'm drinkable - you could put me in a punch, anyway.
Nick Hornby
#12. Shane Mosley is a dangerous fighter. He is bigger than Manny, strong and he still has his speed. He has never been stopped. He can take anyone's best punch and come back as strong as ever. He's so resilient. You can't hurt him.
Bob Arum
#13. You're fucking special and if I want to act all possessive over you when some stupid art guy hits on you right in front of me, I'm going to. Either that or I'm going to have Ethan chase him down right now so I can punch him in the face.
Jessica Sorensen
#14. Ronan and Gansey were laughing, he thought, at a joke where the rest of the world was the punch line.
Maggie Stiefvater
#15. Punch me." "Don't be absurd." "Come on, punch me, Barrons." "I'm not punching you." "I said, punch
OW!" He decked me.
Karen Marie Moning
#16. Say you can't put one foot in front of the other, you punch like a child, and you're not flexible at all. We'll show you some aikido, some ground jujitsu, some gun stuff, some knife moves. We can make a pretty good-size dent with that.
Chad Stahelski
#17. Didn't you have one when you were little? What was his name, Hopper?" "Yeah," I said, resisting the urge to punch him on the arm. Hopper? Really? "Best rabbit ever.
Richelle Mead
#18. I turn away, tempted to punch the glass. I'm in the gratest danger of my life, and I'm playing with my hair and wondering if the boy I can't have-and refuse to let myself want-thinks I'm pretty.
Shannon Messenger
#19. Just looking at him made Andrew feel tense and irritated. It was wonder perfect strangers didn't go up to the guy and punch him in the face.
Jane Davitt
#20. Power is more than the punch. I get so much power and belief in myself from God, and from God the power passes through my legs, through my hips, up to my shoulders, through my arms, and into my fists ... I'm written to be a legend.
Naseem Hamed
#21. Grief was a hell of a thing. Some days you climbed the walls and others you couldn't get out of bed. Just when you thought you might be pulling through, something would punch you in the gut and you'd be flat on your back again.
Brenda Rothert
#22. I need to take a punch in order for me to throw that hook.
Nonito Donaire
#23. Shane said, "Don't worry. I'll protect you."
Claire hit him in the shoulder. "I don't need you to protect me."
"Then why am I going first?"
"So you can take the first punch while I throw the second?"
"So I'm bait? Ouch. You've been in Morganville way too long, girl.
Rachel Caine
#24. Can't you stop by my tent on your way to the hospital and punch one of them in the nose for me?" he speculated aloud. "I've got four of them, and they're going to crowd me out of my tent altogether." "You know, something like that once happened to my whole tribe," Chief White Halfoat remarked
Joseph Heller
#25. What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!"
"Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me."
Max: (tries to punch him)
"Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it."
Max: (screams and runs into bathroom)
James Patterson
#26. I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.
Zach Braff
#27. Four more times the Japanese strafed them, sending Louie into the water to kick and punch at the sharks until the bomber had passed.
Laura Hillenbrand
#28. The face and the actor is great, but if you were to start out and you said, My name is Humphrey, somebody would punch you out, because that's a stupid name to have.
Jamie Farr
#29. Never let it be said that I could not talk my way out of any trouble that I could not punch.
Kate Elliott
#30. Maybe I should punch myself in the face and see if you scream.
H.D. Gordon
#31. That was the problem with snide comments; they invariably lost all their punch on repetition. Besides, when facing impending death, what did the odd witticism matter?
Lauren Willig
#32. My father who in this case was an obsessive life-long storyteller, and by a very peculiar trick of my father's. My father would tell a very, very long story, and the punch line would be in Yiddish.
Stephen Greenblatt
#33. I was probably the best that ever walked this earth. And I could take a punch. I could deliver a punch. I didn't have the hardest punch in the world but my punches were sharp and they were crisp. And if you took too many of them, you would be knocked out.
Larry Holmes
#34. It's throat punch Thursday, and I'm offering free tickets.
Lani Lynn Vale
#35. I'd rather hate you for everything you are
Than ever love you for something you are not
I'd rather you hate me for everything I am
Than have you love me for something that I can't
- Five Finger Death Punch
Five Finger Death Punch
#36. Don't go for knockout in one punch, if your desire is to stay longer in the fight and thrive; go for outlasting them. Take the higher road.
Assegid Habtewold
#37. If you say "I don't read" like it's something to be proud of, punch yourself in the face repeatedly.
Donald Bell
#38. How much fame, money and power does a woman have to achieve on her own before you can punch her in the face?
P. J. O'Rourke
#39. There are no subtleties in a war zone. I think that's why comedy does so well there. It goes right for the gut. So those punch lines start penetrating the bullet-proof vests.
Jeff Ross
#40. I'll think, If this is his first punch, how are the others gonna feel? That's the only fear I have for myself.
Sugar Ray Leonard
#41. My works were not - and they still aren't - single panel gags with a punch line underneath them. I like a lot of those cartoons; I just don't draw them.
Roz Chast
#42. I'd never wanted to punch anyone as badly as I wanted to punch her right in her perfectly little surgically-altered nose.
Jessica Verdi
#43. She mock shudders the way you do when you talk about someone's misfortunes that have nothing to do with you, that don't touch you, and never will. I've never hit a woman in my life, but for one minute I want to punch her in the face, give her a taste of the pain she's so casually describing.
Gayle Forman
#44. You whiny little piece of shit," Rogan growled. Another punch. "We don't kill civilians. We don't show off in public and scare people." Another punch. "We don't abuse our power, you fucking moron. You're a disgrace.
Ilona Andrews
#45. Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind ... I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about.
Ilona Andrews
#46. By gum,' said Digory, 'Don't I just wish I was big enough to punch your head!
C.S. Lewis
#47. I want to feel like I'm doing something creative and trying different things, putting different hats on and playing. I don't know what's the point otherwise; otherwise, it's just a job. You punch a time clock.
Alan Arkin
#48. Seeing him again had been a gut punch.
Tan Redding
#49. It seems to happen sudden - a fighter gets good. He gets easy and graceful. He learns how to save himself - no energy wasted ... he slips and slides - he travels with the punch ... Oh, sure, I like the way you're shaping up.
Clifford Odets
#50. I punched my buddy in the nose after lunch, now I'm in trouble cause the dean saw the punch.
Bobby Vee
#51. Anybody who has had experience of poetesses knows that they may forgive a punch on the jaw, but never a suggestion that they would be wiser to give up versifying.
Robertson Davies
#52. Mike's (Tyson) punch is like an atomic bomb in that it is relative to nature. Both have no value unless you have a means of conveying it to the target. He is boxing-smart.
Cus D'Amato
#53. Elise didn't hesitate to punch her hand into a man's chest to pulverize a demon eyeball, but a batch of burned cookies could bring her to her knees.
S.M. Reine
#54. In the old days in San Francisco there was a famous drink called Pisco Punch, made from Pisco, a Peruvian brandy pisco punch used to taste like lemonade but had a kick like vodka, or worse.
Harold Ross
#55. You didn't make her sue you, even if you did punch her at that wedding.
Kathy Bryson
#56. If a faerie, a vampire, and a demon walk into a bar, you wait for the punch line. At Private Eye, when a faerie, a vampire, and a demon walk through the door, it's just another day at the office.
E.J. Stevens
#57. Prayer and hard work are a pretty good one-two punch to get things done.
Rick Santorum
#58. I said - do you want to kill a fucking dragon?" More yells, and more punch behind them this time. Egar eased up out of his crouch and filled his lungs. "I can't hear you! Do you - or do you not - want to kill - a motherfucking dragon?
Richard K. Morgan
#59. I don't think there's a punch-line scheduled, is there?
Vince Lombardi
#60. If your opponent is at a distance, kick him in the groin. If he gets close, poke him in the eyes, bring up your knee, pop him with an elbow, dig a corkscrew punch to his stomach.
Bruce Lee
#61. When you take a pause before delivering your punch line, you will be using silence as a creative entity in itself.
Franklyn Ajaye
#62. When I used to go into bars people would try and fight me. Women would punch me 10 years ago or put cigarettes out on my arm or my face. But it doesn't seem to happen any more. They show us a lot of love.
Johnny Knoxville
#63. The sight of Ethan - of Scam, since this was a mission - sent a trickle of annoyance down Crash's spine. Not like all the little itches of tech, just the ever-present need to punch him in the face.
Scott Westerfeld
#64. I'm small but quite tough. When incensed, I can swing a punch.
Lena Headey
#65. People place so much value on thought, but feeling is as essential. I want to read books that make me laugh and cry and fear and hope and punch the air in triumph. I want a book to hug me or grab me by the scruff of my neck. I don't even mind if it punches me in the gut. Because we are here to feel.
Matt Haig
#66. I'm not much for setup ... punch line. I talk about my kids. I talk about my wife.
Al Madrigal
#67. I always wanted to see why Captain America was on this team of Avengers. He's got to have a reason - he can't just be really fast and punch really hard.
Chris Evans
#68. I just thought we'd be doing something ... " "Bigger?" Prophet asked, and without waiting, said, "Saving lives is always big." "There's no one to save, Prophet." It took everything Prophet had not to punch Tom. "There's always someone to save.
S.E. Jakes
#69. Critics who attack my wife bug me. It makes me want to pay 'em a visit so I could give 'em a good punch in the nose.
Tim McGraw
#70. At the punch-bowl's brink, let the thirsty think, what they say in Japan: first the man takes a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes the man!
Edward Rowland Sill
#71. Yeah, I'm going to go back (after hitting his 500th home run, but commenting on reaching the 3,000 hit plateau) to my Punch-and-Judy days, hit the ball the other way, start bunting the ball a little bit.
Rafael Palmeiro
#72. Aw," Dana said when they'd put some distance between them and Evan. "He loves you."
"Dana, that's what boys say when they don't really know you but want to have sex with you. He's lucky I didn't go back and punch him in the mouth.
Robin Alexander
#73. I've never understood people who return books after they've obviously read them. "Oh no, that dog-eared page was there when I bought it." Like hell it was. How about I punch you in the bloody face and tell you that bruise was there before and then we'll call it even.
Karina Halle
#74. I must have read every issue of 'Punch' published in the 20th century, and I think in the process I picked up the true voice of English humour - that amiable, fairly liberal, laconic voice which you find in something like 'Three Men in a Boat.'
Terry Pratchett
#75. The film Punch - Drunk Love is how you see the world when you're in love. You don't see somebody's psychological baggage necessarily, you see the person walking out of the light.
Emily Watson
#76. Those who would extirpate evil from the world know little of human nature. As well might punch be palatable without souring as existence agreeable without care.
James Boswell
#77. History does not repeat itself. Nor does it unfold in cycles. The real future is contingent, rich beyond imagining, a perennial gobsmack, tragic and glorious in equal measure; the pundits' future, spun of 'conventional wisdom,' is only a sucker punch to that common-sense fact.
Rick Perlstein
#78. [On Sting] He threw a sucker punch. There's the sucker who threw the punch. Him the the Bart Simpson hair doo.
Bobby Heenan
#79. If I could take a punch like that, I might have been able to think up a name besides George for all my sons.
George Foreman
#80. For me to be able to punch above my weight creatively, to actually take a stand for what I was doing, I had to take on everything. I had to be the person who says, 'I wrote it. I directed it.'
Jill Soloway
#82. I love hard punch lines, and I like anything that has a strong point of view.
Natasha Leggero
#83. The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.
Zach Braff
#84. Now remember, Kate." Barabas leaned over to me, grinning. "You are the Consort. Be the Consort." He stretched "be" into a three-syllable word. "Think like a-"
"Open the door or I'll punch you right in the face," I growled.
Ilona Andrews
#85. Rebecca, standing at the window, felt a tiny smile inside her getting larger - how delicious it would be: one moment of perfect joy, propped up and righteous with booze, to let that first punch fly.
Elizabeth Strout
#86. And you're not hurt? Nothing's broken?" "No." "Oh good." Mad Rogan sank a vicious punch into Adam's jaw. Adam fell to his knees, his mouth bloody. "How about now, Adam? Anything hurt now?
Ilona Andrews
#87. The words hit, a sucker punch that first inspired pain, then a powerful impulse to strike back.
Rob Thomas
#88. His face was uniquely slapable - a nun would have ached to punch him - while his backside cried out to heaven for a well-placed kick.
Jonathan Stroud
#89. [Tyson] Fury is big and [Wladimir] Klitschko's not used to fighting someone his size. If Fury can stop Klitschko grabbing and avoid that big right hand, he's got a chance. In the heavyweight division, it only takes one punch.
Joe Calzaghe
#90. Life is a cruel, horrible joke and I am the punch line.
Carrie Fisher
#91. A lot of guys just punch with their arms; they don't utilize every part of their muscles they can use. I know how to use that, and that's where the power comes in.
Nonito Donaire
#92. I was blessed with speed and a good punch. Everybody thinks I'm the hardest puncher ever. But I just think I was really fast, and my punches got to the target faster. That's what made my knockouts always seem spectacular.
Mike Tyson
#94. When you punch somebody in the ring, you have to use your whole body. I learned that it's more about technique than physical strength.
Kuno Becker
#95. Muhammad could take a very good punch. He was slick, he could move, he could hit, make you miss, good hand speed and combinations and one of the greatest fighters of all time in my opinion.
Larry Holmes
#96. It would be hard to throw a punch to someone who wasn't a boxer, who wasn't in the ring, and who didn't have on a pair of boxing gloves and who hadn't been training.
George Foreman
#97. When you no longer look like yourself anymore, that's your body saying it's time to punch out.
L. Joseph Shosty
#98. I try to catch them right on the tip of his nose, because I try to punch the bone into the brain.
Mike Tyson
#99. Of course, once you had yanked Conan the Barbarian's sword out of a book to fight off a rabid weresquirrel, "impossible" lost a lot of its punch.
Jim C. Hines
#100. I don't know what a supermodel is. If they call me that, I might have to punch them. It's just so vain and so unreal.
Waris Dirie
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